GRIFFIN E. WALKER
November, 2014

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

He seemingly tensed as I sat down next to him, his body moved closer to the side of the couch as if he tried to prevent catching something from me. It caused me to chuckle in my drunken state as my hand tilted the plastic cup I drank out of but said nothing as my eyes travelled over the people in the living room.

Couldn't help but sigh when Joe caught my attention. He's been off with me since the night out we had a while back. Not that he had any right or reason to be mad at me for going off with someone, but he was and there was nothing I could have done about it. Mostly because it didn't bother me too much seeing as I've done nothing wrong. I always made sure people knew what my intentions were and that happened with Joe therefore it was his fault. He was the one who let himself feel anything for me.

"Boyfriend troubles?" Harry asked eventually, sounding as though it poked his side until he couldn't take it anymore so he had to speak up. Took him about ten minutes to acknowledge me which was a new record.

"Are you deflecting your problems onto me?"

Almost offended, he responded. "No."

It was amusing, the way he tried to make me believe otherwise. With every problem there ever was, Nadine turned to me which honestly was something I lived for. I liked to think of myself as a problem solver, a key person in someone's life, the one who keeps all their secrets and offers them the most suitable and honest advice. Not saying that the advice my crazy mind cooked up was rock solid and would only lead to good, positive outcomes though they usually worked. Anything I ever said to someone who was in need of advice was a gut feeling. But obviously, this just meant that I was all up in certain people's business.

Suppose he wasn't a fan of that. Harry, I mean. Every time we spoke, it was bound to be about the problems he had with his relationship. If you ask me, that's quite sad. Imagine being with someone and the most you do together is argue over... well, pretty much everything there is to argue about. As happy as they made each other, I was hoping one would dump the other's ass because this was honestly tiring me out. A third wheel of this relationship. I didn't even want to think about what it was like being one of the main characters.

Thankfully, I didn't have the time to do that.

Meg pulled me up from my seat and threw her arm around me, continuing to sing the song playing. Well, shout it at me. But who cares about the specifics? No one, especially not me. I was glad I got dragged along to this because otherwise, I would have ended up crying in my room tonight. There was too much on my mind, the stress on my shoulders weighing me down and it felt like it wouldn't stop until my body was at the bottom of the ocean, my lungs filled with water.

Wesley was the one who pulled me to the shore for a while. He texted me and asked if I'd want to go out with him and a few of his mates, which turned out to be a little white lie since the only person he brought was Harry. Couldn't blame him for it, he knew rather well that him and I did not get along. Though we were better now than a month ago, it was clear that we both liked to stay as far from one another as it was possible.

"Tell me," Megan spoke as we stood outside, waiting for everyone to follow suit. It was quite cold hence my instant regret towards wearing a skirt. It usually wasn't my top choice but Lily nagged me once I got over to the house and made me change. In all fairness, I liked how it looked on me which was rare. Don't think it ever happened, if I have to be honest. "Is he single?" she pointed towards Wes, barely making it out of the door safely. He almost stumbled down the stairs, even though there was only a few steps, but Harry caught him and pulled him back.

"Who? Wes?" I chuckled as I linked my arm through hers and leaned my cheek on her shoulder. Trying to get warm, she cuddled herself to me some more as her teeth chattered and then hummed. "Yeah. As far as I know, he is ready to mingle."

"Oh, wonderful," she said in a mysterious tone, causing me to laugh again. So it seemed she already had plans for tonight. Not jealous. At all.

Ugh.

Suddenly, I missed Alex. He was so good to me. I think he was the best hookup I have ever had since it was near impossible to get him out of my head. Usually, it was no problem for me to forget about who I got with last, but with him... there was something that drew me to him like a magnet. It was my one and only rule that I'd never go back to someone for another round yet all my body craved was his touch. His fingers on my body. Roaming up and down my stomach, across my chest and tightening around my throat.

He was everything I wanted and somehow more. He was so open and free and down to do everything. I felt almost inexperienced compared to him. Unlike the other boys, he had something to him that made him special, that stuck to me like bees on honey. He was the golden sugar, the one thing that I knew I couldn't have yet craved like my life depended on it.

I still felt him all over me. His scent. His touch. His warmth. Heard his chuckle. The way he moaned when he finally reached his orgasm. It was all too real in my mind. He was all too real.

At that point, it was pretty obvious that five bad lads would not be able to make me forget. I had to have him again. One last time. Just once. A final taste to get rid of him, to get him out of my system.

So, I looked for him. Hopelessly. I must have looked like a sad little deer in the crowd, throwing my body around as Lily danced with me. My mind was elsewhere, focusing on the man who I knew I wanted but could never have. Not just because he was older than me and way too gorgeous to settle for someone like me, but also because the chances of me ever seeing him again were close to none.

That made me sad. And I was already drunk. Sadness mixed with alcohol is not a great combo. That mixed with being horny... oh good lord.

"I'm gonna get a drink," I shouted in my friend's ear and patted her arm. I caught her nod, letting me know she heard me which gave me the green light to push myself through the crowd.

As sad as ever, I ordered my favourite, not even caring if I spent the remaining of my money on it. I've walked home before, I could do it again. Granted, I would do more running in fear of getting abducted, the route home was embedded in my mind. Also had alternate ways of getting home. Fun story, I was followed one time so the only thing that made sense to do was changing up my usual trail. That, of course, meant getting home an hour later than usual but at least I was safe and not sold as a human sex doll.

With my drink in hand and smile on my face, I turned around, only to stumble into Wesley Atkins. I swear he was everywhere. Even in the dark, it was obvious that he was out of it. Completely done for the night. Finding it hard to even imagine what he must have thrown in his body, it just felt like a personal responsibility of mine to pair him up with his best friend. Leaving him on his own like that and then finding out later that something had happened to him, would have been on my conscious forever. And I couldn't have lived my life like that.

"Griffin," he called my name as he leaned closer and I may have turned towards him faster than I should have because his face was still extremely close to mine. I waited before any possible answer could have been given because he wouldn't have heard me anyway.

Once we were closer to the toilets than the main room where the music blasted, I asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yup," he grinned. "But Griffin?"

"What is it?" I sighed, busy scrolling through my contacts to find Harry's number. There was no way we could've found him by walking all over the club.

"I like y-,"

"Hold that thought," I lifted my finger up in the air as I interrupted him because strangely, Harry picked up the phone. Honestly, I did not expect him to do that. "Where are you?"

"Why do you care?"

I could hear him perfectly. Which meant he wasn't at the club. There was no music whatsoever in the background. Also, the fact that he did not shout his answer at me, pretty much supported that theory. For some reason, that ticked me off because who leaves their best friend alone like that? Perhaps it was different for lads? Whatever the reason, I knew it was shitty of him to just disappear when he's clearly aware of how fucked Wesley can get.

"You need to come back."

"I don't need to do anything. Especially not for you."

"I forgot how honest you are when you drink," I rolled my eyes. "You left your best mate here, completely out of his mind."

"Wes is a big boy. He can take care of himself," he replied with little to no care in his voice. Yep. Drunk Harry was also, clearly, a dickhead. Not that he needed to be intoxicated to be a living, breathing thing of his private part.

"Is that Harry?" Wesley asked. "Let me talk to my best pal. Harry! Hey," he shouted as he leaned closer. I heard the boyfriend laugh on the other side of the phone, amused by the situation. "Come get me. Griff thinks I can't be on my own."

"Put him on the phone," Harry sighed so I did.

And they spoke for a while. More like laughed. Wes did, anyway. I just stood there with my arms crossed as I waited for them to finish. I wanted to party not babysit.

Eventually, my phone was handed back to me with a massive grin followed close. I raised my eyebrow at Wes as I took the device back and pressed it to my ear.

"So?" I asked. "You're coming back, right?"

"No. Like I said, Wes is a big boy. Have a good night," he bid me goodbye before he buttoned me. The audacity? Unreal.

Without having the chance to argue with him, he was gone. That infuriated me more than the fact that he left his best friend alone in such a state. I knew if Nads would've done that to me, I wouldn't have been the happiest. Yet when I looked at Wesley, he was much too immersed in his own world to care.

What was I meant to do with him? He wasn't my friend. I didn't hang out with him just for the fun of it all. In all honesty, my mood completely disappeared and all I wanted to do was scream at Harry for leaving him all on his own. No matter how big of a boy Wesley was, it just didn't sit well with me that he'd leave him alone like that. No matter how much I denied that him and I weren't friends, I still had this nagging feeling in me that pushed itself to the surface, chanting at me to make sure he'll be alright. Perhaps my idea of what being a friend entailed was much different to what Harry believed. 

"Griff?"

"Yes?"

"I like you," he said with a smile on his face, one that made his cheeks pop and his chin turn a little pointier. It almost sounded like he admitted he had the hots for me but since that was pretty absurd, seeing as I was definitely not the kind of gal Wesley would normally go for, I just let it go over my head. Not to mention the rage that completely filled me up, knowing Harry just left him on his own.

Yes.

It really did annoy me. And I couldn't have figured out why. Perhaps it was a great angle, from which my hatred for the boy could be continued and even intensified. Anything I could hold against him, I did, without hesitation. Whether or not that was a coping mechanism to distract myself from my own problems was still in question.

"That's great. Now let's get you home, shall we?" I smiled at him, forced, my hands on his back so I could push him through the crowd. And it was a bloody challenge. He tried to get away from me and sneak into the sea of dancing people but talking to Styles sobered me up enough to be alert to all the possible tricks he could've pulled.

When we were safely out of the club, I ordered him an Uber from his phone then whilst we were waiting for that to arrive, I made him walk all the way up to one of the open, 24/7 shops. He needed a bottle of water in him to sober up by the time he'll get home since I had some other plans jotted down in my mental calendar.

"You don't need to take care of me," he sighed as I pushed the bottle in his hands.

"Drink."

"Like Harry said, I'm a big boy."

"That's great but I'd rather you sleep this off than get yourself in trouble."

"Why are you so worried?"

"I'm the last person you were seen with and if anything would've happened to you, it would've made me the prime suspect. Now, I don't know about you, but I have too many things I want in life, all of which cannot be served to me behind bars."

He tilted his head as he stared at me like I was crazy and then said, "You are weird."

"Gee, thanks."

"Why do you hate me and my friends so much?"

"Hate is a strong word."

"Not when it comes to you."

"Don't know what you mean."

"You don't like me or Harry or Adrian or Kath. You only get along with Nadine."

"And that's a problem because...?"

"I didn't say it was a problem," he argued. "I don't get why you are so persistent on making sure I'm okay."

"Did I or did I not give you an explanation for that before?" I asked him with my arms crossed in front of my chest. Bloody hell, I must have been one hell of a conversation starter in that house they all lived in. The fact that my distaste towards them affected them so much almost made me feel relevant and I had to make sure it didn't get to my head. All this attention on me whenever I came in contact with one of them was almost laughable. "Other than me being a decent person, of course."

"Whatever."

After a short while, I decided to say, "I don't hate you. Out of everyone, you are the least annoying."

"Only because I'm the one who can give you what you want, right?" he referred to the drugs I'd buy off of him from time to time. Feeling as though he caught me red handed, it was impossible to come up with an answer to that. Being brutally honest, that was the reason. Him and I shared no common interests other than clubbing. "I always thought you'd make a great part of our little crew."

"Now, why would you think that?" I laughed dryly.

"You are funny."

"Yeah, you are not the first person to tell me that."

"Well," he chuckled. "You just seem like you'd fit in with us. Everyone thought you'd stick around once Nadine introduced you to us but you did not. None of us knew if we did something to stir you away or if you were simply not interested."

"And now the lot of you can't stand me," I added. "Which is fair since I don't particularly care much about any of you, other than Nadine."

"That has to be a lie," he argued whilst he sat down on the curb. I watched him from above as I leaned against the lamp pole, sighing and watching as my breath appeared white and eventually faded into the dark night.

"Just because I'm making sure you get home in one piece, does not make us best friends. I suppose it's in my nature to make sure everyone's alright, though not to the extent like Nadine does. If I know someone who is in trouble, I'm not going to turn my back on them," the explanation seemed fair and much needed. Mostly for my own peace of mind.

After that, we both remained quiet. Wesley checked his phone to see where his ride was, letting me know it won't be long and that I should go with him. When I was about to decline, he used my words against me then threw my best friend's name into the conversation, reminding me of how crazy she would go on him if he just left me by myself. Thinking more about it, it made sense for me to get a ride back with him since I had a bone to pick with his best friend.

Label me as the most annoying cunt on the planet for all I care but there is no way in hell I would ever lose out on an opportunity to go ballistic on Harry Styles. He is and most likely will always be my mortal enemy. Something about him, triggers something in my mind and the intense need to show him what my fist looks like from up close, floods my entire being.

When I managed to reassure Wesley and Nadine that getting the bus back home is not a big deal, they finally let me be. Of course, the only place I was going to go to, was the park where the curly haired idiot made that bench his own. Can you believe he thinks he owns public property just because he carved his initials into the wood? H.S. Even his initials are annoying and remind me of the worst years of my life—the ones I spent at high school.

And just like that: boom. I was there. He was there. My blood pressure, too. High. Rising by the second. My tongue preparing for battle.

"You are one of the worst kind of friends there are," I finally said as I pointed my index finger at him. It drew his attention right over to me, slightly surprised to see me stand there.

"Great," he muttered. "All it took was one random wander for you to find my hide out and now you can't stay away, can you?" he asked me with an annoyed look on his face. In any other situation, I would have laughed because he was right. The only reason I found him that night was because I walked through this park to get to his house after I gave up searching for him. I was going to tell Nadine someone probably kidnapped him but my luck ran out the moment I caught him sitting all on his own.

"No. It seems like I can't," I gave him a fake grin, my arms crossed in front of my chest.

"You've already told me you think I'm the worst friend in the world. What else could you possibly want to say that you came all the way here?"

For a second, he caught me off guard. It never happened but he left me speechless. It felt like forever until I managed to come up with something to say. Almost as if my mind was busy defrosting the words.

"To reiterate my distaste towards the way you behave when it comes to your best friend. Also, to tell you that you completely ruined my night."

"You're welcome."

I gasped at what he said which only made him smirk. It seemed like my reaction proved something to him, as if he even expected me to be shocked after what he said. Such a dickhead!

"Weren't you the one who made Wes text me in the first place?" I asked because that was how it all went down. He told me later that the only reason he's going out tonight is because this dickhead of a creature wanted to get drunk. And then he bails on him?

"Why are you so obsessed with me? Hm?" he suddenly stood up as he aimed his question at me. He sounded extremely irritated, whether that was what my appearance squeezed out of him or if his own problems got the best of him, I didn't know nor did I care enough to ponder over.

"Me obsessing over you?" I laughed right at him as I repeated the words he just spoke. Do you see my issue with him now? Where the need to punch him in the face comes from? "Now that's rich coming from someone who plans their entire night out around me."

"I did not!"

I scoffed at him, perhaps a little cockier than intended. "Is that all you have to say in your defence?"

"Why? Do you want me to shed some light on the fact that I alone was able to ruin your night out?" he screamed back at me, his legs bringing him closer. I shook my head and looked to the side, thinking he's gone absolutely mad.

"Well, you bloody did!" I stood my ground. Even if that made his statement of me being obsessed with him true. Which it did not. Because I wasn't obsessed with him. It was the other way around.

"Or that you made the effort to come all the way here, just to argue with me?" he dropped yet another question on me. He was starting a war here. "Because that's quite obsessive."

"Don't you dare turn this shit around," I dodged the subject to save myself from embarrassment. "You're the one at fault."

"How?"

"I told you!" I shouted back at him, gaining a dry laugh from him as he pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes and did a full three-sixty. "You ruin everything around you. I mean, look at your damn relationship! Always up in flames... no wonder Nadine is-,"

He whipped his head up and looked at me with a hardened look. His eyes turned serious as fast as I stopped myself from finishing that sentence.

"Nadine is what?" he asked in a low voice, closing up the space between us once more. I gulped and focused my stare on the concrete. It was a genuine mistake of mine to let that slip, I wasn't thinking.

Clearly.

"Nothing," I said.

"Griffin. Tell me," he demanded in a tone that should have made me shit myself right then and there. Swear on everything I love that I have never heard him talk like that, not to me, anyway. His chest heaved up and down like he'd been running for hours on end and the closer he got to me, the more I could feel the warmth that radiated from him.

Which was alarming.

Because his breathing was the next thing I reacted to, feeling it more now than ever before, I think. Yep. He's never been so close to me before and it made my skin crawl and head scream at my body to do something.

"I-," my eyes travelled from staring at his chest until they bumped into his. Being in that situation felt like being a part of a movie. Going from screaming at each other to him kind of threatening me until we ended up here.

I hated it, by the way. His lips were dangerously placed by my nose. His bloody cologne all up in my senses. Body warmth and all making it feel like a hundred degrees between us.

Unable to figure much out, the only clear fact was that something kept me there. Perhaps my mind still being in a state of an ice cube. It took its precious time thawing out because I swear to god, the drunk side of me was still present and it scared me.  Although it was now angry, it also wanted me to act on the sadness and horniness that controlled my every move and the only thing that was able to keep me from making a big mistake was the rain that fell from the sky like some sort of warning from mother nature.

And boy... I have never been happier to feel my clothes get soaked.