"Are you mad?" I ask him, fearing that he could have been bothered by how much time I spent with Minsu. "I'm not, why?" he looks into my eyes and does not seem to be lying. "I don't know. It looks like you don't appreciate Minsu."

"It's not that I don't appreciate him, I just don't know him, and I don't like the fact that he only wanna stay with you if you're alone," he points out, so I clarify this issue. "I talked about it with him since I felt like he was uncomfortable when you were all there, and he told me that he's just a bit introverted in general, so he doesn't feel comfortable when there are too many people he doesn't know."

"Hm," he does not sound convinced at all, obviously doubting this statement. "I'll still keep an eye on him."

I smile but do not talk about him anymore.

30 minutes later...

After taking a shower, Joonha comes back from his bathroom, and I set my eyes on him, lying down on his bed and watching videos. He makes eye contact while ruffling his damp hair, wearing no shirt but only a pair of sweatpants.

"What?" he slides his hands in his pockets and comes closer, and I peek down at his chain. "Nothing," I smile, but he drops his body next to mine, so I turn my head to keep my eyes on him. He does not do the same but stares at his TV, and his veiny hands in his pockets. I give a gentle kick to his calf and ask for his attention. "What?"

He looks deep into my eyes, but he moves his arms as if he was fixing something in his pants. "Nothing."

"You're lying," I do not believe him, knowing what those pretty eyes tell. He licks his lips and glances away. What is he doing?

"What did you talk about with that guy?" he finally lets it out, and I understand the face and silence, getting me to chuckle. "Joonha—"

"I mean, nevermind," he cuts me off as if something was wrong, and he leaves the bed. Acting weird and not talking casually about it like he would usually do. He heads to his desk and sits down on his gaming chair, so I put my phone down and sit up. "You don't have to worry about him or anyone, you know that? We just hang out like friends, I'm not that type of person," I try my best to reassure him, feeling like he is more jealous than I thought, or worried.

"I know. I trust you. I don't know why I brought that up," he lies and never takes his eyes off the computer screen. He moves his mouse and pretends to be busy, but I do not let this end here. I stand up and move towards him. "You know why you did. Stop that," I grab his arm to ask for him to pull it back, and he does it, clearing the way out for me to sit on his lap. I get comfortable and set my eyes on his, but he avoids mine, not seeming confident at all with this topic.

I press my lips on his warm ones, and he brings his eyes to me, eventually. "Why are you so worried about him?"

"I don't know," he speaks, in a quieter voice, and he runs his fingers through his hair. Not speaking with clearer and more honest words, I touch the pendant of his chain and toy with it. "Tell me. Get it off your chest and don't keep anything to yourself, please."

He sighs and bends his head back to rest it on the cushion of his seat, and he tilts it to look at me. "I'm just...I've been in love with you for some time already now, and, like...kissing you and knowing you're mine, it makes me freak out because I feel like now that I have you, I can lose you..." he frees his chest and mind from those worries. "I'm sorry...I swear I'm not an overprotective boyfriend who's gonna be mad if you hang out with guy friends, but being cheated on really changed the way I feel in a relationship."

I take my hand away from his jewelry and gaze into his eyes, finding it good to know he is speaking about it. "Don't be sorry. I understand you, but...I mean, I don't know what I could tell you because I know you'll always fear this happens to you again, but I promise...I'm never gonna cheat on you, I'm not that type of person. I hate cheaters, and you're like, the kind of boyfriend I always hoped to have, so I don't care about any other guy but you. You're on my mind twenty-four hours a day, you know that?"

An adorable smile forms on his face, and he puts his arms around me. "That's how much you are on mine, so I'm happy."

I giggle but feel some delight at the sound of this. I wish he knew how much in love I am with him. I would never hurt him.

— Three days later —

Saturday, August 27th, 2022.

10 am.

More people coming to crowd the place that we are used to seeing with a few skaters only, I never let go of Joonha's hand but kindly swing it. I gaze up at him while he is talking with his dad, and I hold his big hand with both of mine but peek at Hyunjin, who is chatting with my brother some feet away from us. 

"You're going to do good, stop being nervous. You practiced, you'll do well as always," Mister Jeon reassures him, telling him what I remind him of all the time. "I feel like I'm gonna mess up because I'm too scared..." he nibbles on his lips, and I stare at his features. I hate to see him feel like that. He is so nervous.

"Joonha!" Seunggil joins us, finally, holding his skateboard in one arm. "Hey," he greets him, and Seunggil bows to Mister Jeon, and he smiles at me to say hello to me as well, so I answer with the same word. "How are you feeling?" Joonha asks him, and he raises his eyebrows. "I'd rather not talk about it," he puts his skateboard down and takes his cigarette out to get one, and lights it up. "I can relate."

"Tsk," Mister Jeon clicks his tongue at him, glaring down at his cigarette. "You're too young for this."

"I know, Sir, but I'm too young to deal with anxiety, yet it's always here," he replies in a respectful manner, and Mister Jeon peeks at Joonha. "You never smoke with him, right?"

"Just that one time I told you I tried, but you literally smoke all the time," he slides his other hand in his pocket, not letting go of mine. "All the time?" Seunggil raises his eyebrows, his eyes widening. "How do you keep your teeth so white?"

"Frequent dentist visits, and I whiten them," he answers him but looks back at his son. "And I don't smoke all the time."

"Hm, if you say so," he does not agree with this statement but lets it go, and he fidgets on his spot again. "I need to pee again, dammit. I can't stand it, I shouldn't have accepted to participate."

"Y'all stop being nervous, you'll do amazing," I cheer him up, and he pulls me closer to hug me, so I squeeze his thin waist in my arms and try to release the stress he feels. "Can I go back home?" he plays with my hair. "Why would you? You have nothing to lose."

"Confidence and self-esteem," he makes me sad with a lack of confidence I am not used to seeing him deal with. "Shut up, Joonha," I speak in his chest, and I hear Mister Jeon scoff. They both have a similar way of laughing, speaking, so this is easy to recognize them. "Here. You heard her, listen to your girlfriend."

I smile and look up at Joonha, but he gazes down into my eyes. "You're mean," he pouts and makes me feel bad, so I take back what I said. I press a kiss on his lips. "Then stop saying such things. You'll be the best to me no matter what place you get. I'm gonna get you a snack now. You need to eat," I move away from him, and he skims his hand down to mine. "I'm coming with you."

"Okay,"  do not leave but peek at his father and Seunggil. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"

"A banana if they have, please," Seunggil answers, so I look up at Mister Jeon, but he smiles and shakes his head. "No, thank you."

"Alright," my lips curve up, and I leave with Joonha to get them something to eat. I make my way through the people to reach the new vending machine.

I doubt I will find a banana here, but let's still try.

I slide my fingers between Joonha's long ones and intertwine them, and I stand before the food but bring him closer to me. "What do you want?" I gaze up at him, and he checks what there is. "Ugh...I don't know. I'm not hungry."

"But you didn't even eat breakfast...starving is not gonna help," I worry about him. Instead of eating and getting energy, he is letting his anxiousness consume him. "I know..."

Some sadness aches my heart, and I pick the snacks for him. I insert some cash inside of it, pick two chocolate bars for him, three bottles of peach juice and since there are no fruits, I get some banana kicks.

As he has been since he woke up, Joonha remains silent, and I grab the snacks. "Let's go back to them," I look into his eyes. "I gotta pee again, I'll join you," he does not follow, but I do. "I'm coming with you, it's fine," I head to the restrooms with him, and once he goes in, I stand near the door and wait.

I hope he will have his turn soon so that the nervousness leaves him.

"Y/n!" a familiar voice makes me turn my head, and I smile once I catch sight of the boy. "Hey, you're here."

"Yeah," Minsu nods, seeming happy. "How are you?" he peeks down at my snacks, probably wondering what I am doing with all this. "I'm fine, how about you? Aren't your friends here yet?"

"I'm fine too, but yeah, they are, they're just getting ready because they go first, and I just wanted to come say hi," he explains, with a soft smile. That is adorable. "Aw. That's sweet of you. They must be really stressed out then."

"No, they said it's kinda better because at least, it's done right away, and people don't really compare you to others," he does make a good point, and I agree with this. "Ah yeah. True. It's better."

"Imagine being the last one, I'd die if I was in that guy's shows," he gets me to laugh, and I cannot think otherwise. "Same. I'd probably end up changing my mind and leaving, not gonna lie."

"Same," he smiles but glances away as if he was not so comfortable while I do not have a problem keeping my eyes on him. "Are you waiting for your boyfriend?" he hides his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket, and I nod. "Yes. He literally goes to the restroom every five minutes," I chuckle. "Really? Is he anxious?"

"He's scared," I choose the right word to describe his current state, and he shows some surprise. "Oh. I saw him skating though, and he's so good at it. He shouldn't be nervous at all."

"That's what I told him, but well," I shrug. "When something worries you, no one or nothing can really help," I drift my eyes towards the door at the sound of it opening, and Joonha comes back. He instantly sets his big eyes on my friend, and he walks up to us.

"Hey," Minsu greets him in a cheerful voice, but Joonha forces himself. "Hey," he makes it a bit awkward, so I loosen the tightness of the tension. "I told him you're nervous," I tell him. "And he said you shouldn't be because you're too good at skating."

He scoffs and glances away, but a man speaking in a microphone startles us. "Oh, it's starting," a rush of nervousness goes through me, for some reason, and I look up at Joonha. "We should go back to Seunggil and my dad," he suggests to do. "Yeah, do you wanna come with us?" I ask Minsu so that he does not feel left out, but he shakes his head. "No, I'm gotta go back to my friends to support them, but good luck to you and your other friends," he addresses my big baby, and he cracks a smile. "Thanks, good luck to yours too," he grabs my hand, and we walk in different directions.

I hurry a little bit while the loud man is getting everyone ready, and we join Seunggil and Mister Jeon in short seconds. "Hey, they didn't have any bananas so I got you this, and a drink," I hand him the snacks, and his features brighten. "Aw. Thanks so much," he grabs them and already opens the bag, so I raise my eyes up to the tallest one among us, Mister Jeon. I hold the other bottle up towards him. "You should get hydrated too, it's really hot today."

"You're a sweetheart, thank you so much," he takes it, and has a sip of it, then I focus on the one I love. I open one of the chocolate bars, his eyes fixed on one of the two giant screens to listen to the man, I slide the wrapping down the snack, and I heave it up to his mouth. "Hey."

He lowers his attention to me, and he smiles, lovingly as if my action was making him feel soft, and he grabs it to take a bite. "Thank you, baby."

The delight felt from this draws the corners of my lips up, and I wrap my arms around him to make sure he gets all the comfort and love he deserves, but I notice my brother and Hyunjin come up to us.

Inhyuk glances down at me as if he was bothered by the physical contact between Joonha and I, and behind Hyunjin, he discreetly lifts two fingers up to his eyes, and with a gesture, makes me understand he is keeping an eye on me. I giggle in Joonha's chest, but he smiles and looks away after stopping to stand next to our best friend. Hyunjin and he both listen to what is being said, but I only focus on giving love to Joonha and listening to his hard and fast heartbeat, trying what I can to slow it down.

30 minutes later...

Knowing this is going to be Joonha's turn once the other boy is done, I gaze up at him, seeing him nibble on his lips and the ring on the bottom one. I brush my thumb over the back of his hand and play with his bulging veins, but the minutes, which feel like seconds, pass and bring Joonha closer to the spotlight.

When the boy is done skating, everyone claps, and I feel Joonha's hand tighten its hold on mine. His dad turns towards him, and he smiles. "You're going to do well, just enjoy it and do not worry about anything else, alright?"

He nods and peeks down at me, so I give him a kiss. "You already won to me, you know it."

He smiles and walks away, knowing he has to get ready. I am freaking out for him. I am not the one doing it, dealing with the anxiousness, but I can feel the one he has been struggling with this entire time.

Since this is my favorite man, I grab Mister Jeon's wrist and nudge my way through the people to get in the front, and he follows without saying anything. Once we are closer to the big and intimidating half pipe. This is so high, I would be terrified to even be at the top and stare down at the curved wood.

The one entertaining everyone here warns us about Joonha's turn, and for he gets all the attention and cheer he deserves, but I yell loud enough to make sure he knows I am here to support him.

I smile once he appears with his skateboard on top of the half-pipe, but he does not look in our direction, he focuses on his goal, and I hold my hands together, hoping the best for him.

The silence takes over, and the countdown starts. One beep, a second one, then a third one, and Joonha goes for it. My eyes do not look away but stare at him, my heart pounding insanely hard, I watch him do amazing, looking like a professional. I do not breathe anymore once he starts to go for more dangerous tricks, and he continues to do more of them. A heelflip, a hardship, not failing or making a mistake at all. Astounded by his skills, even though I am used to seeing him skate, I realize that I am gaping, and my eyes raise up when he does an aerial, something I have never witnessed before.

However, everything goes wrong right when his wheels leave the air to hit the wood, and he falls, violently. Some loud gasps and sounds of shock escape the crowd like they left my mouth, and I cover it as my heart stopped beating but feel Mister Jeon pass behind me to run towards him.