“You guys did not have to come with me to the library,” Davina said, staring at the three people beside her, shoving Big Macs down their throats, without making messes.

Despite what she said, she was rather thankful for their presence. The constant idle chatter was the only thing keeping Davina from bursting into tears. For the past week, there was no single moment she had allowed herself to be alone in her thoughts. If she wasn’t as school, she was watching a movie or doing homework or making a plushie.

Anything to keep her thoughts from straying to the boy who had consumed her thoughts.

“And risk eating while seeing Kendall sucking up to Leo? No, thanks,” Damian said and returned to his food.

“Sucking up to…You keep making it sound like Leonardo is uncomfortable with her presence.”

The table was silent for a few seconds and then, Val swore to everyone’s surprise. “Davina, I don’t know what you’re thinking. Heck, I don’t even know what I’m thinking and if I should be thinking it but I would like to trust Leo this once.”

Jaiyana stared pointedly at the table. “Given his track record, you can see how that’s a little difficult.”

Val closed his palm over Jaiyana’s free one. “I suppose. I guess I'm a little biased because I'm his friend.”

Davina looked away from Val and Jaiyana. The longer she stared at them, the more the buildup in her chest grew heavier. She felt an unfamiliar stinging sensation behind her eyes.

“Davina,” Damian asked with a concerned expression. “Are you okay?”

Davina didn't respond, unable to clear the clog in her throat. There was a flurry of emotions in her head, colliding with each other and she didn't know what was causing it. Her hands itched to pull at her hair strands but she knew that would do more harm than good because of her oversensitivity.

How was she supposed to fix a problem she didn't know the root cause?

She forced her shaky hands that were wrapped around her fork to still. Damian looked at her with a sympathetic expression and didn't say anything else. In the past few days, he had understood her more than ever, giving her time and space that she didn't want but most desperately needed.

More than once, he had told her to cry but she refused. There was no telling how long and how hard she would cry if she started.

“Damian, I saw Tamara in the fourth aisle when we entered,” Davina muttered.

Damian's eyes lit up and he stood up immediately to head in that direction. “Thanks, Davi.”

“You'd think he'd have given up by now after being rejected twice,” Jaiyana said.

Val nodded. “It's unusual. He must really like her.”

Jaiyana glanced at Val from the corner of her eyes, her cheeks tinting pink. “Yeah. He must really like her.”

Davina stood up abruptly, knocking her lunch away from her. “I'm going to the bathroom.” Before they could respond, she put her headphones on and walked away quickly to get away from them.

When she got to the bathroom, she took off her headphones and stared at the mirror, the deafening silence, her only companion. The longer she remained in there, the more frantic her thoughts began to be.

What if Leonardo had nothing but sympathy for me? Had our friendship meant nothing to him? Why isn't he bothering to say anything? Am I the only one who cares?

The door bursting open jolted Davina out of her thoughts. The noise outside floated in for a second but was cut off almost immediately as the door closed. Despite the fact that the intruder had freed Davina from her thoughts, she was the last person Davina wanted to see at that moment.

“Davina, right?” Kendall said. “Fancy seeing you here.” Realizing that the bathroom was not the best place to have a conversation, Davina tried to sidestep her but Kendall blocked her way. Davina looked at her, emotionally drained and confused. Kendall's eyes narrowed sharply. “You are not getting away from this.”

“You want us to have a conversation here?” Davina asked.

Kendall leaned closer to Davina. “Is that a problem?”

The space between them was much shorter than Davina would like so she stepped away. Kendall's eyes followed the action and she smirked. “No. It is not.”

Kendall clicked her tongue. “You know, you're very annoying and you have zero conversational skills. I wonder what Leo sees in you.”

“This is our very first conversation,” Davina said.

“Are you implying that if we talked more, I'll understand what Leo sees in you?”

Davina paused for a second, wondering how and why Kendall has made that jump. “I didn't say or mean that. I was just trying to point out that this is our first conversation. You cannot know if I am annoying or have zero conversational skills if we have never spoken to each other. There is obvious bias in your reasoning.”

Kendall's mouth opened and closed repeatedly for some seconds. Soon, her face reddened. “Listen here, you little bitch. Stay away from Leo.”

Davina’s fingers began to drum rhythmically against her thigh. “Do you have the right to decide that for him? You're not his parent or girlfriend.”

“If you don't know, Leo and I go way back. I am a very important person in Leo's life. So yes, I do have the right to say that. Stay away from him, if not yourself but for his sake.”

Davina's mind blanked. “For…his sake?”

Kendall smirked. “Tell me, Davina. Do you think you can love him like a normal person?”

Davina's heart broke into little pieces. The sounds in the room started to fight for dominance in her head.

The irregular dripping of water from the leaky fifth tap.

The sounds of their breathing.

The quick tapping of Kendall's feet that kept slowing and quickening at intervals.

Not to mention the river of anxious thoughts in Davina's head.

Anxiety attack.

That was all Davina could see behind her blurry vision. The bathroom walls began to feel smaller.

Kendall's next words were the final blow. “Do you think it's at all fair for him to give his all and only receive a small portion of his giving in return? Dating isn't supposed to be charity, Davina. I hope you understand.”

When the clicks of Kendall's heels faded and the door shut, Davina stumbled into the wall, the truth of Kendall’s words hitting her hard.

She needed a sewing kit. She needed a penguin and a sewing kit.

“My sewing kit,” she repeated to herself over and over like a mantra. The three words had an effect as Davina was able to put on her headphones and stumble out of the bathroom.

Then she began to run.

All the way home without stopping to take a rest.

Her legs carried her on autopilot into the house and up the stairs to her room. She ran to the wardrobe and threw it open. Upon seeing her rows of penguin plushies, only then did she calm down. She picked up her unfinished one and sat in her chair to continue working on it. The rest of the world faded as she focused solely on the plushie.

“Davina,” a panicked voice said suddenly, breaking through Davina's haze. “Oh. Thank God you're here. I thought something bad had happened to you. Why did you go home so suddenly?”

“I had an anxiety attack,” Davina replied.

There was a thud near the doorway. “What? When? Who caused it? How…”

“I don't want to talk about it, Jaiyana. Talk about something else,” Davina said, not looking up from her artwork.

Jaiyana sat beside her and stared at the penguin. After a few minutes, she said, “Is that based on what Leo wore on–”

“Talk about something else,” Davina said, wishing to forget him at that moment even while she was stuffing a plushie whose inspiration was his outfit.

“Um…the field trip is this weekend–”

Leo will be there.

“I'm not going,” Davina interrupted.

“For goodness sake,” Jaiyana exclaimed. “Screw everything. Screw Leo. Screw Kendall. They both can go jump off a cliff for all I care. They should stop getting in your way of having fun.”

“I don't want Leo to jump off a cliff,” Davina muttered to herself mostly.

“Whatever, you lovesick child. You're going to the field trip. It'll be your first and your last. Besides, we have Val and Damian.”

Davina nodded, feeling herself giving in. “It will be more fun with Damian around. He keeps me distracted.”

“That's the spirit! So, you in?”