Chapter 43: Hearts Afloat
As Zuri sat quietly in the cafeteria of her internship hospital, picking at her meal, she couldn't help but feel grateful for the surprising prevalence of English speakers in Korea. It eased her transition, albeit slightly, making her feel less like a fish out of water. Her late-night binge-watching of Korean hospital dramas had also paid off, providing her with unexpected insights into the culture and work environment she now found herself in. She chuckled to herself, thinking back to the last episode of her current favorite drama, where Min-Ho, the brooding yet irresistibly charming doctor, finally confronted Hwa Young with the truth about her brother's misdiagnosis. "Why can't all men be straightforward like Min-Ho?" she mused, "Asshole or not, at least he's honest."
Korean hospitals, she noted, operated quite differently from American ones. The hierarchical structure was more pronounced, and respect for seniority was paramount. "Damn, at least in America, you can speak up a bit more without worrying about breaking centuries-old traditions," she thought, admiring the efficiency around her but missing the familiarity of back home.
Despite her efforts to fit in, Zuri found making connections difficult. Her attempts at speaking Korean often led to more confusion than conversation, and Joon, Suho's older brother, was no help. His comparison of her Korean pronunciation to a "demented parrot trying to recite Shakespeare" was both creatively insulting and disheartening. Joon was an enigma to Zuri; his demeanor and views were reminiscent of the worst stereotypes, making him seem like a villain straight out of the dramas she loved. The fact that he had a wife was a mystery to her.
Zuri sighed, frustrated by her inability to connect and longing for the comfort and support of her family. Checking her watch, she calculated the time difference in her head and began a quick video chat with Jordan, the only person who could truly relate to how she was feeling.
His face barely lit up the phone, and was shrouded with shadows, making it difficult to make out his surroundings. "The hell, Zur, it's the middle of the fucking night."
"Well, yes it is, but are you too good to hear from your older sis every now and then?"
Jordan grunted and quickly began yawning in exhaustion. "Touche, you have a point there." He sighed deeply and shifted, making it a little clearer as he held up the phone and Zuri's bleary-eyed but awake-looking face popped into view. His satin bonnet, was slowly slipping from his hair, and his eyes, lined with red from the sleep and tears that threatened to escape, betrayed a pain and vulnerability that belied his youthful bravado. "What's up?" He finally uttered.
Zuri softened immediately, her brother's rare show of emotion stirring memories of the nights they used to stay up talking on the living room couch. "It's lonely here... you're the only person I can confide in. Don't get me wrong, I know this is my path and this is where I have to be for now, but sometimes the world's too big... the distance, the newness of the everything, it just sucks." Zuri's voice broke as her admission spilled out like an open dam.
Jordan's expression turned somber. "I mean, yeah. I wish I was there with you, but..."
"What is it?" She prodded.
"Zuri," He cocked his head, "What the fuck are you doing?"
Zuri shook her head confused, someone glanced at her from the profanities on her phone that her brother was spewing. "Talking to you."
Jordan rolled his eyes. "Zuri, I'm even confused that I'm having this conversation with you." His voice dropped to a whisper, "You know, what you're doing. You're just doubting yourself."
Zuri drew in her breath sharply. She closed her eyes and told herself that she needed to hold her tongue. He was right.
"I can't help but see doubt," she confessed.
"Look, Z. Shit. I'm 15 and I'm giving you advice. That has to say a lot to you." Jordan smiled lightly.
Zuri knew he was right. The guilt weighed down upon her chest. If even a teen could manage to call herself on her own actions, she definitely could do the same.
"Take your time and sort it all out. Nothing needs to be done today, Z." Jordan's smile, thin and tense, flashed briefly across the screen, reminding Zuri just how young her brother truly was. "By the way, how's your asian boyfriend."
"We're-we're fine. Anyways I have to go to my lectures. Call you soon." She ended the call.
"The old relationship, well, fake relationship, has become something more, hasn't it?" Jordan was right, of course. Her brother was more perceptive than most people realized. But still, that didn't make it easier. It wasn't that easy to call him up and tell him.
"You're too smart for your age, kid. And how'd you know any of this? Damn, must be the weed."
They both laughed, "Well I gotta go." They hung up.
She placed her phone back into her backpack, and collected her tray. Even though she wasn't finished, she could no longer bear the thoughts racing through her head.
Suho watched as Zuri shuffled into the hanok, her body language screaming exhaustion. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt for the whirlwind of experiences she'd been thrust into since arriving in Korea. Just a few hours earlier, his day had been equally draining, marked by a visit to his thrice-great aunt alongside his mother, Joon, and Joon's family. His Emo, as sharp-tongued as ever, had wasted no time in berating him about his single status.
"Are you gay?" she had bluntly asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Umm, no. I actually have a g—" Suho started, hoping to introduce Zuri into the conversation and perhaps share something personal about their relationship.
But he was abruptly cut off. "Then why are you not married yet? There many pretty women from families that need husbands," Emo replied.
Suho blinked and groped for a reply. "I—well, I'm actually I'm quite involved—"
He could have sworn the old woman roll her eyes.
The afternoon took a lighter turn as Suho decided to share a piece of his world with Zuri. Leading her on a tour of his favorite hideaways as a child, Suho reminisced about the halcyon days of his youth. It was there that he caught his first glimpse of Zuri's innate passion; the way her eyes lit up as he took her on a hike, and how she smiled upon seeing a pair of birds soaring freely in the sky. Their connection was an instant spark, a magnetic pull drawing them closer together despite the tension of unspoken words that still hung in the air.
Their adventure brought them to a secluded spot by a tranquil river, where a weathered canoe lay in silent invitation. The wood of the canoe, worn and smooth, held stories of countless adventures. Suho's voice was soft and filled with a wistful longing as he helped Zuri into the canoe, his touch gentle and full of unspoken promises.
As they paddled in unison, the river around them seemed to embrace their presence, the setting sun casting a golden glow that enveloped them in warmth. For a fleeting moment, Suho wished the universe would pause, that time would stand still. "If only we could remain like this." he sighed softly to himself, his eyes lingering on the silhouette of Zuri, and wondering if she was wondering the same thing as well.
Zuri listened, captivated by this glimpse into Suho's soul. The distance that had once seemed insurmountable between them now felt like mere steps, easily bridged by their shared laughter and the quiet understanding that flowed between them.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange, Suho felt a profound sense of peace. This moment, with Zuri by his side, felt like a declaration—a silent affirmation of their journey together, fraught with challenges but also filled with moments of undeniable beauty.
Suho took a moment to breathe, pausing with his paddle above the rippling water. The atmosphere was imbued with magic; he felt that if he whispered a word, it would shatter this delicate spell. Yet a small voice in the back of his head called out to him, "what are you waiting for, Suho?"
The silence that enveloped them as they settled into the evening was neither awkward nor uncomfortable. The air between them was electric, tingling with potential. The journey ahead had been full of twists and turns, but the winding road that lay before them no longer seemed quite so daunting.
"This was fun," Zuri said quietly.
"Yeah," Suho murmured. What was he waiting for, he fumbled with his hands as if he was going to take the step, but fell short, and let his arm drop as he glanced at Zuri, she too had been struggling to make eye contact with him.
As Suho dropped Zuri to the doorstep of her Hanok, his heart skipped a beat. In the dim light, Zuri's silhouette was illuminated by the orange glow of the street lamps, casting a halo of golden light around her.
They were greeted by the mouthwatering aroma of dinner. The table was a testament to culinary skill, and as they sat down to eat, Suho couldn't help but notice the way Zuri's face lit up with each bite. Her joy was infectious, and for a moment, the complexities of family and expectation faded into the background.
Later, as they all gathered in the living room, Suho found himself drawn to Zuri, their shoulders touching in a gesture of shared warmth. His heart raced as he turned to her, their eyes locking in a moment of profound connection.
"Zuri, I love you," he whispered, his words a tender vow in the quiet of the room.
Her response was immediate, a mirror to his own heart. "I love you too, Suho."
Leaning in, Suho's question was a whisper against her skin, a promise of forever. "Will you be mine? For now, and for always?"
Her smile was his answer, an affirmation of the love that bound them. Their kiss was gentle, yet imbued with the passion of a thousand unspoken words, a promise of hope for the journey ahead. In this moment, nothing else mattered—the future they had dreamed of was within reach, a possibility to explore and seize together.
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