Pain and sorrow. Too much of it cascading through every inch of his body and turning him blind to rest of his surroundings. These harrowing emotions hold Mew in a vice grip steering him away from the crime scene, a thoughtless puppet responding to the strings controlling him. Except his head is far from empty. Too many things run wild behind his unseeing eyes, and it brings nothing but more grief to his already crumbling balance. It feels like his heart bleeding out and yet, the world apparently has no trouble moving on.

A fresh regenerative dispatch of anguish spasms through his body, fraying his will to live from within to tiny shreds like a cheap fabric that Mew considers it a miracle he didn't kneel over on the spot. Surprised his broken heart is still beating through the shock and anguish of witnessing Bright locking lips with someone else, engaging in an act of PDA that he'd always vehemently opposed in the past. And it wasn't just someone he kissed so openly, but a guy Bright proclaimed multiple times to be simply his Nong, nothing more or less. Of all the numerous people crushing on his best friend, First is the last person Mew considered as threat, a likely choice to steal his Bright's affections. As it's been proved through recent incidents, Mew's intuition is hardly worth the gamble anymore. He's wrong more often than right and this is just the latest proof in a long string of false assumptions.

It hurts like taking a swan dive into hell. In spite of knowing that Bright's out of his league and is interested in someone else, this awful incident still catches him unawares. Bright and First could have been kissing and doing other intimate things for a while now, for all Mew knows. It really shouldn't hurt this much; Bright doesn't owe him anything, he's free to live his life. And yet, the bone-deep ache of longing for what could never be his and the pangs of guilt for wishing otherwise threatens to tear him apart. Mew couldn't stay there for a second longer, an intruding fly in the background, not when he's driven with a raging need to pry those two apart. But what right does Mew have to stop Bright from kissing whoever he chooses? Who is Mew to protest against the passion of two consenting adults?

First must be the lucky guy Mike was talking about, he muses bitterly. Nah, Mike mentioned a girl pursuing Bright. Does that mean Bright is actually dating First then? What about Win in that case?

It doesn't make any sense. Bright and Win were always attached at the hip these past weeks, living in an intimate bubble ignoring rest of the world, whenever Mew unexpected caught them in the campus. He genuinely thought those two are together or on way to becoming a couple. Perhaps, Bright was weighing his options and First is simply one of the fortunate ones Bright's casually seeing along with Win. His best friend certainly seemed to have an active dating life that Mew wasn't privy to. He had naively perceived it to be a large social circle until moments ago. Now he wonders if it's a common occurrence for Bright to go around smooching people left and right.

There's undoubtedly no lack of enthusiastic volunteers clamouring to sign up for this noble task. Mew would too. But apparently he doesn't quite make the cut. Invisible, even though he's right beside Bright all this time, loyal and steadfast in his admiration. Yet insignificant and easily dismissed as a bland wallpaper in face of Bright's incandescent presence. Certainly not worth any consideration with the likes of First and Win around. They are much more impressive, sociable, and lively then he could ever aim to be.

Nausea engulfs him even as Mew battles vertigo to force one step right after another. He didn't even realise where he's headed until Mew found himself knocking on a dorm door and Gulf answers it, taken aback.

He could hardly understand this blind leap himself. Why did he seek out Gulf in his vulnerable state? Was it simply because the other guy's dorm is close to the campus and Mew didn't know anybody else to approach? Whatever the reasons, he finds a sympathetic listener and an anchoring presence in Gulf, despite rudely interrupting his free time playing video games with Mild.

~

"What happened?"

Gulf had promptly chased Mild away and was addressing Mew as though he were a spooked animal. The Engineering team's star football player isn't too far off. What Mew found surprising is that Gulf still treats him as a good friend, genuinely concerned about his well-being despite Mew's close association with Bright. Had never expected the serious looking guy to actually be sweet and soft-hearted beneath the tough, bad guy act.

He haltingly speaks of the terrible event he witnessed on campus grounds. Allows himself to voice his constant pain and the feeling of betrayal at catching Bright with First, someone Mew didn't consider as a threat because Bright said he didn't like his Nong like that. Cries as he asks Gulf when its supposed to stop hurting and how he can move on if his body actively falls apart every time Bright proves (unintentionally) that Mew will never be anything other than a friend to him. He sobs and clings to a patient Gulf, who continues to pacify him. The tears fall until his eyes turn dry and Mew has no strength left to weep anymore.

"Why? Why can't I get over him, Gulf?" He hiccups, burrowing his face deeper into the crook of Gulf's neck. "I just want this pain to stop. I can't take it anymore. It hurts so bad!"

They had migrated to cuddling on Gulf's bed with Mew practically lying on top of Gulf and attempting to hide away in his arms. He couldn't exactly recall how they relocated from the couch to here, but he doesn't regret it. Not when Gulf was being so kind and understanding and nice to him. Mew never had anyone treat him in this manner other than Bright and with his best friend lost to him due to Mew's own fault, he doesn't know who else to turn to.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, Mew." Gulf is quick to console him while rubbing slow soothing circles on his back. "Its fine- it will be fine, I promise. I know you probably don't want to hear this right now but have you considered that maybe ... you were mistaken?"

He has this pinched expression when Mew lifts his head to stare at him confused, as though defending Bright in any form is physically painful to Gulf.

"What do you mean?" Mew asks, wondering how he could possibly be wrong about this. "I clearly saw them KISSING, Gulf. I wasn't too far away to mistaken Bright or First for anybody else. They both seemed pretty into it and didn't even notice others are around." He sounds bitter, Mew knows that. But he's also past caring for his dignity at this point. Gulf has literally seen him at his worst and well, he's still here, isn't he? They go over in circles of waiting for actual confirmation from Bright that he's dating someone to Mew adamantly sticking to ignoring his friend till he's ready to deal with any further shocks.

The deep sigh from the other guy is hardly reassuring but Mew's aware this meant Gulf won't argue with him anymore, which is just fantastic. They both had become good friends defying all odds (and Mew's own expectations), so he instantly feels better to have Gulf's quiet support backing him in this mess.

"Okay. You're not ready to cross paths with him yet and want to get over that idiot soon, right?"

The best and worst thing about Gulf is that he doesn't just listen to Mew's rants but also works with him to actively solve them. As in makes plans for Mew to do something about his issues instead of letting him suffer in misery or handle them himself like Bright usually does. He appears thoughtful once Mew concedes, as if assessing whether Mew's being honest or not. ''Well, if you're really determined to avoid him until you're ready then I have a fool proof plan to make it happen. I mean, let's face it - you can only play hide and seek with Bright for so long before he catches up with you!''

''Of course, I know that." Mew tries to downplay his nerves. Can't believe this is really happening, yet at the same time, he's desperate to finally take the plunge and move on from his unrequited feelings for Bright. And weirdly enough, he trusts the other guy to help him out. Whatever issues Gulf might have had with Bright; he's been nothing short of an amazing friend to Mew so far. He decides to follow this faith and trust Gulf on this. "Why do you think- never-mind, what's your plan?"

Gulf smirks, a dangerous gleam of trouble and a sharp promise of victory rolled in one infuriating expression. ''I'll tell you on one condition: if you promise to give it a sincere try without dismissing it outright.''

Friendship and trust is a two-way street. Besides, how bad could this really get?

''Okaay.''

<*>

It turns out Gulf's plan is kinda brilliant at getting what Mew wished so badly. It got Bright to leave him alone. Not entirely because Bright still turns up at the Engineering faculty cafeteria to stare woefully at Mew. But he ceased stalking Mew around throughout their giant campus as if they're playing an innovative version of tag and Bright is hellbent on winning the game.

And all Gulf and he needed to achieve for that is to simply play up being a lot closer than they actually are.

Just a friendly smile here and an eye contact that lasts longer than normal friends are supposed to hold there, maybe throw some innocent skin-ship in the mix to mislead Bright into thinking he and Gulf are on path to becoming more than friends. Mew didn't initially want to do this - couldn't see how it will work in their favor - Bright might not be romantically interested in Mew but he's unbearably protective. Gulf however insists that Bright will surely keep his distance if it seems like they're flirting with each other. Although Mew isn't convinced, he agrees thinking it will be fun to watch Gulf eat his words for once. He's known Bright longer than Gulf's animosity with his best friend and no matter their current stalemate, Bright will not remain by side-lines if he sees his enemy is approaching Mew with an intention to date.

Turns out Gulf is indeed right again. Mew didn't know whether to wallow in self-pity that Bright apparently doesn't care enough for him any more or if he should celebrate the space Gulf's trick won him.

Mew settles on listening to Gulf's advise and work on healing his broken heart instead of focusing too much on what-ifs and why-nots. He has a vicious kind of joy upon seeing Bright's shock and wounded frown when their scheme is first set in motion. This bittersweet satisfaction hardly lasts a day though. Mew might have enjoyed for a few brief seconds the irony of Bright's pained gaze when Mew cozied up to Gulf. But in reality, it didn't erase the devastation he still undergoes knowing First or Win or whoever else Bright actually likes will one day date him for real. While all Mew could do at present is fake a scenario hoping Bright will give him space until he is ready to be in Bright's presence once more, without burning to a crisp at the sight of his love life and ending up as ashes on the ground.

And he plays along till the dreadful sight of Bright and First stops haunting his every waking hour. It gets replaced with Win in the same position sometimes, probably his nightmares wanting variety and new material to torture him with. But it gets easier to ignore the hellish thoughts - Gulf makes sure of it.

He still meets with the gang regularly, avoiding just Bright's company now. Leo isn't oblivious to his heartache, Mew can tell, in spite of being a new addition to their group. At least, Leo is sympathetic to his plight without Mew uttering a single word and saves him from their friends interrogation too many times to count. Mew breathes easier knowing there's someone to support him once he gets back to hanging out with their group again ... if things happen to turn too claustrophobic with Bright around.

Gunsmile unwittingly lets slip a lot of information relating to Bright - mostly bad and getting worse in corelation to Mew's mental health. Bright had been dividing his free time between tutoring First and hanging out with Win, he comes to learn through the goofy guy. Which is great for Bright's social calendar but hell on Mew's already tortured nerves. Mike is another tricky complication he struggles to evade for the fear of ambush. Bright and Mike obviously trade secrets and it automatically translates to panic in Mew's mind to come across either of them these days.

He's at last gotten a decent handle on things when Gulf drops another bombshell on him in the form of P'Luke. And Mew's suddenly back to his initial panic-stricken state where he's cornered like a helpless prey at the bottom of a barrel, nowhere left to go.

'Just hear him out. After that your choice. Besides he's our senior and quite a reputed guy. Nothing to worry from him.'

Gulf texted after tricking Mew to deliver some notes to the senior disguised as a favor. And Mew only agreed because Gulf had never steered him wrong before. His anxiety had hit the roof approaching the senior he had seen following him around. Mew's not good with confrontations or even friendly conversations with strangers. Curiosity is his fatal flaw, though he's rather avoid a stressful situation by running in the opposite direction than face it head-on.

Mew is highly introverted and a social recluse for a reason. The impulse meeting with P'Luke only confirms his beliefs that Mew is better off not meeting new people, content with his present small circle of friends and no plans to change his old patterns.

<*>

"Why don't you give P'Luke a chance? Maybe you will actually enjoy spending time with him? You will never know if you don't try." Gulf was annoyingly calm and reasonable in face of Mew's ire.

He stops pacing in his bedroom to stare incredulously at Gulf. They'd recently started hanging out at Mew's place because his Mae wanted to make sure he didn't fall into wrong crowd trying to stay away from Bright. So, Gulf visiting his home and staying for dinners became a thing quickly since his Mae took an instant liking to Gulf. Mew had quickly teased his mother about picking up strays, whining about her (new) blatant favouritism to Gulf. He quit his complaints pretty soon when his mother in turn mocked him if Mew's going to crush hard on Gulf too. Apparently, he might have a type since Bright and Gulf are quite similar. That really shut him up fast ... and had him strangely flustered in Gulf's company until he tried to push him in P'Luke's direction.

Try as he might, Mew is unable to wrap his mind around the idea that P'Luke is interested in him and had asked him out. This kind of thing only happens in dramas as far as he knows. No one wants an introverted spectacled dork like him, that's just not possible. P'Luke is hot and handsome, and a pretty desirable candidate ranked high in their faculty. Why would he ever notice a wallflower like Mew? This must be a cruel prank or- or a social experiment. Even if it's not - Gulf won't encourage this if it was - he has no interest in meeting with the senior in that context. Just no!

Mew wrings his hands together trying to suitably word his objections. He didn't really have a particular reason other than he didn't want to, which has a subclause of Bright as the originating cause. Gulf rolls his eyes, seemingly figuring it out without Mew voicing out any of his concerns. That's another crazy thing about Gulf - he's always on same page with Mew, as though they had known each other since ages instead of just the past month. Well, technically it's been a year since they met in the class but its only in the last month that Mew and Gulf became friends, so he's only counting that.

"If you don't start seeing anyone new, how else are you going to get over Bright? Like I said, it's a simple coffee date. If you guys have fun, great. If not, then no big deal. Nobody is pressurising you to do anything you're not ready for, Mew. Just meet the guy and see where it goes. Okay?"

Mew points an accusatory finger at Gulf. "But you are pushing me to do something I don't want to here. And I'm certainly not ready to- to go out with someone." He huffs when Gulf doesn't budge from his stance. "Again, it's just having coffee together, Mew. I'm not telling you to elope with him."

"But why?"

"Because you said you wanted to move on, remember? This is just baby steps in that direction. You liked him for so long, its not going to be an easy process. But if you at least try to go out, then maybe it won't hurt so bad to see Bright with someone else." Gulf crosses his arms and glowers back.

Mew sighs, defeated even before the battle could begin properly. "Why can't I just go out with you then? Why does it have to be that senior?"

He sees Gulf flinch from the corner of his eyes and immediately feels guilty. Mew apologies for running his mouth without thinking and offending Gulf. But the suddenly nonchalant guy waves a hand clearly trying to make light of the situation. "Nah, you will never consider me seriously to begin with. It will be just like our pretend games before Bright in the campus. I want you to actually give this a shot. Put yourself out there away from your comfort zone and try giving casual dating a chance. Ah, as for why it has to be P'Luke ... he genuinely likes you. Has been interested in you since last year. Besides, like I mentioned earlier he's a good guy. Will I ever put you in harm's path?"

Mew trudges slowly to sit on his bed with a gloomy cloud hanging over him. "No, never." He admits reluctantly. Gulf's methods are eccentric and somewhat unconventional at times, but Mew can't deny his good heart. "Still ... it wouldn't be fair for P'Luke because I'm not going to magically like him all of a sudden forgetting my love for Bright."

Gulf walks over to ruffle his hair fondly. "Don't you worry about that. P'Luke is a big boy, and he knows there's a slim chance of things working out for him in this case." At Mew's questioning glance he elaborates grudgingly. "You recall that I vetted him before greenlighting the meeting with you. Well, P'Luke will be graduating soon and didn't want to have any regrets over not approaching you. And yes, he figured you might not be into relationships or dating, but at least he will finally get an answer instead of wondering. So, think about it, will you?"

Mew really has no response to that. He ponders over what Gulf said late into the night. Evidently his mother and Gulf have been conspiring behind his back about this. Because his Mae is all up for Mew meeting new people and trying new things. They both gang up on Mew to consider it as a challenge to broad his horizons.

"Are you both insane? Mae, how could you ask me to see this- as an experiment or- or a challenge? This is a person with feelings we're talking about. Not a science project. Gulf is a bad influence on you!"

"I'm not a bad influence. Your Mae just has an excellent taste and impeccable sense of judgment. Too bad you didn't inherit that from her." Gulf teasing is a bizarre phenomenon Mew is slowly getting adjusted to witnessing first hand. Its not the worst thing to experience if it gets his mother to chuckle warmly again. Mew's not the only one affected by Bright's absence in his house. His Mae loved him too and missed having him around. If Gulf could get her to smile like that again, then Mew is more than willingly to follow his insane advice. Anything to make his mother happy and content as before.

"Luk, I'm not expecting you to fall in love with this Luke guy - none of us are, to be honest. We just want you to see what the world has to offer. Maybe you will like him or maybe not. This senior of yours is happy to even make a friend of you and I think you should at least see if that's a possibility. Leave the doors open for good things love, you will never know what could come of it."

Gulf nods from his seat next to mother and opposite Mew on the dining table. It's just the three of them tonight, Mew's father away on a business trip. They're just finishing up the dessert. "And hey, I will be around within yelling distance if it makes you feel better. You pick a café or I can and we will leave the second you want the date to end. Think of it as a trial or medicine to take your mind off the constant moping. One meeting and I swear, we will back off from asking you to do this again. Just meet him once."

"Fine. Geez, you guys make the worst nagging partners. I will meet him. But only one time and you better be there too, Gulf."

"Absolutely." "Yes, he will. It will keep me at peace too knowing Gulf will be around to take care of you."

And that's how Mew gets roped into going out with P'Luke on a casual date, irrespective of his disinterest. He'd like to think he's not such a pushover to easily agree to Gulf's whims and his Mae backing said crazy ideas. But who is he kidding? Gulf and his Mae hit off pretty well and Mew can't help but think both of them are really feeling Bright's loss and using Gulf as his substitute. It's a disservice to reduce and compare Gulf's luminous company as an imitation of Bright's irreplaceable presence in their lives. Would love to have both these rivals share space in their house and on the dining table bantering and trading hilarious anecdotes in another timeline. Except, it's a foolish dream to chase after the impossible and he's really exhausted these days wishing for things which won't ever happen. He smiles, reassuring both his Mae and Gulf that he will keep his word and listen to their advice ... just this once!

Mew tries hard to put a strong façade in front of his Mae but can sense the gradual cracks adorning the surface of his act, reflecting in the mirror of his subconsciousness. Could only pray these glass shards won't end up hurting those who dared to fly close to him. Wishes with all his heart that Gulf won't get injured in his attempts to help Mew heal.

>*<*>*<

A/N: I hope you liked this window into Mew's mind and what happened during the time Bright was upset and stalking Mew through SoMed and his fangirls. There will be more LukeMew and GulfMew in the next chapters because its a surefire way to manifest a jealous Bright, lol.

Please vote and comment if you enjoyed this chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the plot so far. Uwma. xoxo <3