There's a Japanese phrase that I like: Koi no yokan. It doesn't mean love at first sight. It's closer to love at second sight. It's the feeling when you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with them. Maybe you don't love them right away, but it's inevitable that you will.

>*<

It was a long, humid afternoon that started all this mess in the first place. Well, it wasn't exactly the weather or anybody's fault but his. Mew is both smart and sheepish enough to admit that. No. No one has asked him to be in that particular place at that particular time except for his boundless curiosity and spare time on hands thanks to his cancelled class. Looking back, Mew realized everything would've turned differently had he simply walked away the second it hit him that he's peeking in on a private conversation.

But no, he had to play the nosy interloper and stealthily linger by just because Bright happened to be one of the participants and his love life is the focal point of their chat.

'Stupid Mew', he berates sinking onto his bed and curling under the soft quilt in a fetal position. 'Thinking he's special and all. Apparently, he's just plain stupid and delusional.'

He has no idea when he reached his bedroom let alone how he managed the long trek from the campus to his home. No, not the condo Mew shares with Bright but his own house in the suburbs outside the central city square. Thank heavens, his Mae didn't choose to work from home today and wasn't available when Mew arrived. If he had to guess, his body probably was on auto-pilot throughout the entire cab ride to home while his brain took this opportunity to slowly melt down - freaking out over what he'd unexpectedly stumbled across. This is why everyone always says snooping in on others conversations is a bad idea and that eavesdroppers rarely hear good things about themselves.

Tch, Mew knows better now, having experienced it first-hand.

However, he'd have appreciated this thoughtful reminder a while back when the temptation to hide and listen to his friends exchange first struck him. Though he truly doubts whether he would have followed this advice even if it had reached him in time. The moment Mew heard Ja say his name in relation to that topic, any chance of being moralistic flew right out of the window along with his conscience. He stood rooted to the spot filled with a burning desire to hear Bright's response to their friends' teasing speculations.

Shouldn't have tried to surprise his friends by dropping unannounced at their faculty's cafeteria, the moment his schedule unexpectedly cleared up. Shouldn't have loitered to secretly admire Bright from a safe distance. Shouldn't have tried to snoop and hear what Bright thought about Mew and their friendship. But most of all, he shouldn't have expected Bright to feel the same way he did...

Dragging a pillow over his face, Mew screams hoarsely into it. Tries to smother himself by pressing into the cushion harder. Asphyxiation sounds like a great idea compared to replaying the humiliating conversation over and over again in his mind. Bad enough he had to go through it once. Yet the montage of horrifying images continues to fly past his closed eyes, irrespective of his wishes on this matter. Lucky him!

<*>

"―don't get why you are ignoring her passes, man. Gege is smoking hot and it is obvious to anyone with eyes that she's badly thirsting after you, Bright. If it were me she was hitting on, I would have happily accepted her advances a long time ago." Gunsmile was pouting, indifferent to Bright's heated glares and equally ignorant of Mew's presence in their faculty's cafeteria and his suddenly thudding heartbeat. He worries for a hot minute whether the sound of his frantic heartbeat alone is enough to tip off his hiding spot to the unsuspecting gang.

"Mn. Maybe he's already interested in someone else..?"

Mike's dancing eyebrows drew their desired effect. Mew strains to hear better. Gunsmile and Leo respond with their predictable teasing, till Bright reaches out to smack an evading Mike on the head muttering something soft and unrecognizable under his breath.

Concealed from their sight by leaning behind a thick pillar, Mew's heart squeezes for the second time in another painful compress in so many seconds. It was among his top five worst nightmares come true. Bright being hit on by a beautiful girls is nothing new, but having their friends (okay, it's probably just Gunsmile at the moment) vocally support her endeavors is not and quite a shock to him.

What's so special about this Gege, anyway? Also, what the hell does Mike mean? Is he joking or was there a grain of truth in his words? Does he know something that Mew and the rest of the gang doesn't? Did Bright confide in Mike that he likes someone romantically, enough to actually consider being in a relationship?

Mew didn't know where to start if the latter point is true. He'll be heartbroken for sure to learn Bright is in love with someone else, that much is certain. The next hardest thing to face here is that maybe he and Bright are not as close friends as he believed they were, if Mike's the first person to know all of Bright's secrets. Is it something that Mew said or did that made Bright not trust him enough to talk about these kinds of stuff? What did he do that pushed Bright away from Mew without him noticing? How could he make everything right between them again?

He was still agonizing over Mike's careless remark and Bright's suspiciously telling silence when Leo makes an observation. A heart-stopping, mind-blowing observation that jerks Mew's faltering heart into running a marathon of emotions waiting for Bright to confirm and give him hope or deny it and strike him with a fatal blow.

Oh, how he wishes for the former with a bated breath!

"Is it Mew? The person you like?" Leo has an eyebrow quirked as he watches Bright intently.

Gunsmile, for once, isn't cracking jokes like someone paid him to and is shuffling weighted glances between Mike and Bright. "Shia. Is that true? You like Mew? This- huh, this actually explains a lot. No wonder you are often quick to dismiss our plans whenever they contrast with your free time with him." He grows visibly excited, unknowingly giving traction to Mew's rising optimism.

In his joy at seeing a positive reaction from one of Bright's oldest friends and the guy who was blatantly pushing Bright to date a random girl just few minutes prior at that, Mew completely misses Mike frowning and doesn't think much of Leo's subsequent bewildered expression. After all, Leo is the new addition to their gang and doesn't know Mew as well as the rest. He'd met Bright, Mike and Gunsmile on the first day in their Business faculty classroom and became thick friends soon after. Since Mew comes as part of package with Bright, he and Ja became good acquaintances too.

"You and Mew are really close, aren't you? You hang out regularly with him even though he isn't in our faculty and Mew attends all our football matches and most of our practice sessions too. You guys even share a condo together." Leo is busy listing reasons why it makes perfect sense Mew is meant to be Bright's boyfriend. Or so he thinks.

Turns out, Leo's simply voicing aloud his confusion based on his assumptions from the past year, which ultimately turn out to be wrong as Bright is quick to point out.

"Alai wa? No. It's not like that, Leo. Nothing's going on between us. Mew and I are just friends."

Every word from Bright's mouth is like a poisonous dagger straight to Mew's heart. And just when he thinks he heard it all, Bright continues to address Gunsmile next, plunging the sword deeper and leaving Mew to bleed out dry.

"I'm just looking out for Mew. Come on, you know how quiet he is and likes his space, rarely leaving his room if we don't force him to otherwise. I worry about him feeling lonely and left out whenever we go out for drinks. Mew doesn't have many friends other than us."

As Mew was left reeling to process what has essentially been Bright's pity that he mistook for friendship, Mike concedes with a chuckle. "Ah, Leo you got their dynamics wrong. Don't worry about it and ignore Gunsmile here. He's dumb. I made the same mistake too during the early days of our friendship. Truth is Mew's a super sweet, innocent lamb and Bright here is like his big overprotective wolf of a brother. I was actually talking about-"

He doesn't stay behind to hear Mike complete the statement, walking away with tears rolling down his cheeks. Doesn't spare any further thoughts beyond the vicious circle of Bright's short explanation and Mike's damning retort. It plays on a loop running Mew haggard and sets up residence in his mind and heart, mercilessly taunting him.

Nothing makes sense or matters to Mew anymore since obviously Bright doesn't like him like that.

~

He rolls over rustling the blankets and pushes away the pillow, blinking owlishly through his wet eyes to stare at the unblemished ceiling. The pale blue stretch of wall seems to glare back, mocking his life choices that eventually brought him to this point. Time appears to flow like cascading waves beyond the confines of his bedroom as he continues to wallow in self-pity and mourns his unrequited feelings.

Closing his eyes is not an option. Mew can still recall the defensive hunch of Bright's broad shoulders in vivid clarity as he protested against Leo's incorrect (and innocent) assumptions. Can also see the clear dismissal on Mike's usually cheerful face as he backs Bright's clarification. Gunsmile's puzzled face is an anomaly, granted that's his default state 90% of the time. But then again like Mike said, the clown of their group can be quite dense sometimes. Mew's not the one to talk here since he's apparently been dense and stupid too!

Really, Mew has been fooling himself all this time thinking he has a chance. When in reality, Bright felt compelled to be friend and look after him. Okay, that's harsh. Bright isn't unkind and labeling him as such, for all purposes sounding like a mean person capable of befriending someone simply for charity sake is demeaning to his excellent character. Still, the fact remains true that Mew has been harboring false hopes when clearly Bright only sees him as a friend. Also, there seems to be someone else he likes ... someone who's definitely not Mew. Probably a person from their faculty who's outgoing, popular, easy to make friends with and participates with Bright in several extracurricular activities unlike Mew, who voluntarily prefers indoors and books as company.

What a fool he's been, living in a fantasy that came crashing down his ears!

Mew wants to forget the unrequited love he developed on his childhood friend, its doomed to fail. Bright might like both girls and guys but that doesn't mean he will ever see Mew in a romantic light. He used to fear this exact scenario in his deepest thoughts. Yet actually facing it happen, even in an indirect manner is still a devastating punch to his gut.

He wants to lash out, scream and throw the mother of all tantrums. Then again, he also longs to curl up in bed and cry his pain away, till there's nothing left to feel except numbness: a blank slate.

<*>

A sudden buzzing sound startles him into searching for his discarded phone. It lies on top of his backpack, lighting up with a slew of rapid notifications from Bright. There are also several missed calls in there. The displayed time reads 4:22 pm. Shia, he must have forgot to turn back the volume on his phone after his classes were done. It's been nearly two hours since he left the campus. Shaking his head, the engineering student unlocks the password and selects the pop-ups on his screen. Mew reads the onslaught of texts with a wry sense of humor that quickly turns into lead in his stomach.

Bright:

3:10 pm: Hey! We're waiting for you in our faculty's cafeteria. Got a free period now. Drop by once you're done with class.

3:16 pm: Busy to even text a simple ok? So studious!!

3:16 pm: Nalak, nalak.

3:18 pm: Running late Mr. Nerd?

3:25 pm: Hey ... is your class taking longer than usual?

3:36 pm: You must be tired. Stay put. I'm on way to your class. Bringing some snacks.

3:52 pm: MEW, WHERE ARE YOU?!

3:55 pm: I heard your classes are cancelled for the day. Are you out with your friends?

3:57 pm: Did you go back home? Pick up my calls!!

4:01 pm: Why aren't you answering any calls? MEW!!

4:05 pm: Where are you? Please tell me you're alright.

4:05 pm: Shia! Mew text me immediately when you see this.

4:07 pm: Did you put your phone on silent? Are you sulking? If you are, you can punish me later in some other way. Answer my calls now, Mew. I'm really worried about you!!

4:08 pm: Mew, please call or text me as soon as you see this.

4:08 pm: Are you in trouble? Turn on your location and I'll come find you.

4:09 pm: Mike says he can't reach you either. Please call me or one of the guys if you really are ignoring me. I don't know what I did to make you this angry but please let me know you're safe.

4:10 pm: Answer my calls, Mew. Please.

4: 14 pm: Couldn't find you anywhere on the campus. You're not at home too...

4:15 pm: Where are you Mew? Where did you go?

4:21 pm: Please, please be safe. I don't care if you're mad at me or something. Just ... call me back or text me when you can, okay? Please. I'll be waiting for your call.

It's not just Bright, there's several messages and missed calls from the rest of their gang too. He didn't think about the consequences of going MIA after overhearing their private conversation. Mew didn't think, period. He was too busy having a meltdown to actually consider how strange and out of character it is for him to just ditch his friends without a single text about his whereabouts.

He almost shakes his head in fondness at those texts even as his heart aches at the worry and affection laced in them. It made sense that Bright thought he was upset or angry with him, not entirely wrong too. The only times Mew ever maintained radio silence from Bright is when he's sulking. However, he always made sure to keep their other friends in loop, so they can collectively give Bright hard time for messing up. It makes perfect sense that Bright automatically assumed Mew is angry at him, though he never went this far before. Bright is simply checking after him like the perfect, over-protective friend he is.

This is what a normal best friend would do – there's nothing more to this. His stupid, traitorous heart is incorrigibly dumb to skip a beat thinking it meant something else. It doesn't.

Mew hurriedly hits on the conversation threads from Mike and co. as well as their group chat reading their concerned messages with a growing lump in his throat. It never occurred to him that their friends would be this upset over his unexplained absence. It warms Mew to his core knowing they truly care for him in their own way.

Mike:

3: 53 pm: Hey Mew! Bright's in your faculty building rn. Call him. He says he cannot reach you.

3:57 pm: Call or text us the second you see this. Bright is going insane @ your AWOL.

4:01 pm: Everything okay, Mew? Did Bright do something? Whatever it is, call him first. He's worried sick.

4:05 pm: You alright there, buddy? You're not picking up any of our calls....

4:08 pm: Mew... you're not sulking, are you?!! Whatever he did, we will kick Bright's ass together but get in touch first!! We're all worried. Call back or better still, call Bright ASAP.

Gunsmile:

4:00 pm: Where you at?

4:01 pm: Answer your phone Mew. Bright is on a war path.

4:10 pm: Shit, you're not in any trouble are you? Text or call one of us.

4:12 pm: We searched everywhere on campus for you. Bright said you're not at home too. Where are you?

4:13 pm: Please answer our calls or send a text with SOS if you're in trouble and need help.

4:15 pm: Hey!! Turn on your gps location if you can't talk or text. We'll come get you!

Leo:

4:09 pm: Hey ... I'm sure you had your phone on silent and haven't checked your messages in a while.

4:10 pm: So don't freak out, nothing's wrong. It's just Bright panicking as usual.

4:10 pm: Just text or call him, yeah?

4:14 pm: Um...you're starting to scare us Mew...

4:17 pm: Is everything okay? Its not like you to be MIA...

4:19 pm: Call me when you get this. But more importantly, call Bright!!

<*>

Mew feels a fresh wave of tears well up as he takes in their anxious texts. In his haste to put as much distance from Bright as possible, Mew completely forgot to check his phone and drop a simple text excusing his absence. Now look what he did thanks to his carelessness. He brings nothing but burden and trouble to his friends. No wonder he was a loner before Bright befriended him. Hell, he didn't really change much now either, did he?

Re-reading those texts, specifically from Bright, Mew feels a strong tugging in his chest that again screams: 'this isn't something a normal friend would do.' He almost falls into his own wistful trap AGAIN before common sense swiftly smacks him in the face with the harsh reminder.

What was it that Mike said, ah yes! Bright was just being an overprotective Phi towards Mew.

In Bright's own words, he was merely concerned about Mew because of his status as the social recluse. As much as Mew wanted to ignore these concerned texts and hurl his phone across the room, he restrains from doing so. It isn't in his nature to cause unnecessary drama or problems for others. And as of right now, Bright and the gang are stressed out over nothing. Mew can easily put their fears to rest but hesitates to send a simple text informing he's safe and sound.

Who should he even text to begin with? Certainly not Bright! He would immediately call him and ask all sorts of questions. Mew just isn't ready to face him yet, let alone answer his well-intended probing queries.

But what if the others start questioning his strange radio silence too? Leo is right, it isn't like Mew to be this irresponsible without a proper reason. Can he even stand to text Bright like nothing happened? Honestly though, as far as the second year Business major student is concerned, nothing out of ordinary took place other than Mew's unexpected disappearance. It's not like he can come out and say the reason for pulling this weird stunt is because Mew accidentally (and on purpose) overheard their private chit-chat involving him and Bright. No, Mew should just offer some lame excuse believable enough to steer their suspicions away from the actual truth. That's his best chance of flying under the radar. Easiest way to avoid the definite outpouring of pity if they figured out his secret.

Still ... what if Bright doesn't buy his lies? What if Bright wants to come by and visit Mew, just to make sure he's really fine? What then? Worse, what is he supposed to do when Bright expects him to return to their home later as usual? Mew cannot bring himself to be in Bright's company and act like his heart isn't breaking into a million pieces while pasting on a fake smile.

He just can't.

No, no, he simply cannot pull off a nonchalant act then. Neither can he avoid Bright for much long either. That is a surefire way to grab the spot light and announce to the world, there's something going on with him which involves Bright! No, Mew's best bet is to pretend everything's fine and text him like he usually does.

Taking the time to fully prepare for a foolproof strategy, Mew sends a short text reassuring his friends that he's alive and well in their group chat before finally replying to Bright. If his hunch is right, they're all next to each other which will make this exchange flow quite smooth.

To Bright:

4:36 pm: Hey...I'm fine. Kept my phone on silent and took a nap.

4:36 pm: Sorry for bothering you guys over nothing. I forgot to tell you. Wasn't feeling well, so went home...

Mew was about to text more when Bright calls him as expected. He fidgets over answering the call, worrying his bottom lip before throwing caution to the winds and taking the dreaded plunge.

"H-hello?"

"Mew?!"

Bright's tone is both ragged and relieved at once. Mew feels the beginning of a hellish headache and guilt churning at his insides for all the anxiety and trauma he sent Bright's way. "Oh thank god, you're alright! I was so terrified when we couldn't find you anywhere and you didn't attend any of our calls or messages. Are you fine now? What happened? Do you need me to bring you anything? I didn't see you at the condo. We must have missed each other by seconds-"

"Er, Bright... I meant home as in my parents' house." Mew stutters, cheeks heating up at the naked affection in Bright's rushed words directed towards him. He feels bad for lying but desperate times calls for desperate measures. Self-preservation is something he could no longer push away to deal with later. "I don't need anything, thanks." He hastens to add.

"Huh."

Bright is audibly taken back, that much is clear. Fortunately, Mew's voice carries an element of sick undertones thanks to him pretty much crying and screaming in his pillow non-stop for the past hour or so. "Oh- um, what time should I pick you up then? I can come by early in the morning to drive you to uni or even tonight if you feel up to it."

Mew refuses to slot the emotion layering Bright's offer as anything remotely resembling hopefulness or close. How many times will he make the same stupid mistake over and over again? This is all in his head. Bright is just being a good friend, a really good friend who puts his selfish friend's needs first over his own free time and other priorities. Besides, he clearly likes someone else if Mike is to be believed. Mew is the idiot for misunderstanding things and seeing more than what exists between them. Its time to take a step back and start mending his bruised heart ... as much as he could anyway.

"I think I'll stay here for a few more days, Bright. My mother insists on it. Besides, I have some family stuff to deal with as well." He fumbles, trying to come up with a logical excuse to stay away from his crush. Clearly, homesickness wouldn't cut it and Mew can only pull the mother card for so long before its overused and casts further doubts. Bright is not an idiot to fall for the same trick twice. In fact, he's the smartest person Mew knows, maybe even more than himself. Their high-school academic track record of constantly vying for the valedictorian spot and occasionally losing to Bright proves it!

"Is everything okay? I can h-"

"Mai. Everything's fine. It's just not a good time for unexpected guests right now. I mean, we already uh, got some relatives flying from overseas after a long time and this place is er, going to be real busy over the next few days. My parents need me to help around the house too. Um, I'm planning to ditch Uni tomorrow anyways... so I can catch up with family, you see. Umm, Mae is calling me. I'll hang up then, gotta go. Bye, Bright."

Heart pounding with effort to keep lying through his teeth, he ends the call without waiting to hear from Bright. He sincerely hopes he pulled off that story successfully to deter Bright from popping by unannounced. He shoots off another brief text, just in case, laying on the excuses real thick about needing to clean his room before his mother comes to check upon him. Bright appears to be placated for now, if not a little disgruntled at the abrupt end to their call.

Good. This will buy him enough time to figure out his game plan for rest of the year. Mew has to be fine, ready to act like a good supportive friend by the time Bright announces his relationship status and officially introduces his boyfriend or girlfriend to them. It's not gonna be easy or painless to distance himself from Bright in the meantime, but somehow he'll have to manage. Because the way he sees it, Mew would rather kill his one-sided feelings for Bright than risk revealing the truth (accidentally or otherwise) and lose his precious friendship for good.

No way in hell. Mew will not let that happen. He'll sooner give up his ability to speak than relinquish his cherished friendship of four years with Bright over a silly secret crush, that isn't returned. It's just not worth it.

>*<*>*<

A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter. Its my first time writing for BrightMew ghost ship - a pair I'm sort of obsessed with for a while now along with OhmNanon ship. Please feel free to vote and share your feedback. I'll try to update in my free time. XOXO 💚❤