4 months later🫶🏾.

jackie💎.

it's been 4 months and my relationship with kb only got worse. the abuse got worse and it led me to a deep depression.

i had no choice to leave. even after i was scared and struggled i had to so i told her i was done. the way she begged for me to stay and forgive her only made me upset.

because 2 years together was not enough for her to love me right. it wasn't enough for her to see she was wrong. she's abusive, insecure, and a narcissist.

i've spent 4 months hiding the truth from the team. and a'ja being a'ja she knew something was up. but i haven't gotten the courage to tell her the truth.

growing up i never thought i would be in a abusive relationship and when kb and first started dating she was the perfect girl. so sweet and so caring. wouldn't hurt a soul. or so i thought.

and being on the same team doesn't help my situation but she did tell me that she was going to anger management and getting the help she needs and im really happy for hear that.

i walked back into the locker room fully clothed. usually i'd have my stomach out but i haven't gotten bruises all over my body and the team has no idea.

"HEY JYOOO" kp said making me smile.

"hey kp" i said setting my stuff down.

"so how are you ?? since yk the breakup" chels asked.

the team does know about us not being together anymore. all they know is that we decided to call it quits because of personal reasons.

"im okay taking it day by day" i said.

"kb ??" tip asked.

"same" she said and they nodded.

"hey you wanna come over and do a bestie night ?" a'ja asked me and i nodded.

"yeah but i need to go home and shower and grab some clean clothes" i said and she nodded.

after talking to the team i headed to my car and i heard someone run behind me making me turn around where i saw kb.

we hadn't talked face to face since we broke up and i was nervous.

"hey can we talk ?" she asked & i nodded.

"i just wanna apologize to you. for everything that i put you through and ik that that's not gonna fix what i did but i do want you to know that i am getting help" kb said.

"yk kb i loved you.. and idk what i ever did to make you beat tf out of me everyday. but hey stuff happens and ik that you've been working really hard on bettering yourself"

"so with that being said i forgive you. it ain't gone do to good to just be mad about it" i said.

"thank you jack. and i really hope that you heal from everything. you're an amazing person and i was just blind and hurt." she told me.

"thank you and you too kb" i said. after talking to her i headed home. no matter how many times kb apologizes our relationship effected me so bad.

i been on 4 different antidepressants already. trust issues are lower than ever. scared to wear revealing clothes ion even wear crop tops anymore.

dealing with this has been a lot on me. and no one knows so i don't have anyone to cry to or ask for help.

once i made it home i showered and headed to a'ja house for this bestie date. i think im gonna tell her the truth just not today.

"come in jack" she yelled and i walked in.

"hey boo" i said setting down the chocolate covered strawberries.

"hey bestie" she said plopping down beside me.

"what you wanna watch ??" she asked.

"idm we not gone pay attention to it anyway" i said as we laughed.

kb🖤.

jackie and i breaking up hurt but it was for the best. and decided to go to anger management and better myself.

because the person i was when i was dating jackie was not me. i didn't recognize her and neither did jack. everyday is a constant reminder that i was a monster to the girl i loved.

"you wanna tell me why you and jack all of sudden decided to break up ??" tip asked.

"it just wasn't working out" i said shrugging my shoulder.

"really ?? cus yall seemed so happy together" she said.

"yeah. it's just personal stuff" i said.

"well are you okay ??" she asked.

"yep.. i appreciate you for checking on me tho dawg" i said.

"ofc yk i got you 4l" she said.

i got into to my car and headed to jackie's apartment. even tho i apologized i owe her more of an explanation as well.

once i got there, i knocked lightly and she came to the door. she looked so beautiful. she was wearing a beanie her lashes were done and she was wearing a long sleeve with sweats.

"kb what are you doing here ?" she asked.

"i came to talk to you. i owe you more of an explanation as to why i acted the way i did i think you deserve that" i said.

"come in" she said. i walked in making her jump. she was still scared of me and ion blame her.

"im not gonna hurt you jack" i whispered.

"yeah i thought the same thing kb" she said.

"im sorry what else do you want me too do ? i can't take it back jackie" i said.

"it doesn't matter kb. ts still affected me. not only did you beat tf out of me but you took away my love for life, my happiest, my dignity, you name it." she said.

"i understand that and im sorry. idk what i was thinking." i mumbled.

"the kb that i fell in love with was gone. because that was not you" she said.

"yeah i realize that." i told her.

"why kb ?? why hurt me ? why hurt the girl you're supposed to love and protect ? when we first started dating that's exactly what i had but it's like yo love for me disappeared" she asked.

"i was hurting.. and still traumatized from the relationship before ours. i was projecting my hurt and insecurity onto you. i didn't wanna lose you and i'd never had real love before" i admitted.

"that's what i mean when i say communication cus if you would've told me that we could've fixed ts. it didn't have to end like this" she said.

"and not only that you were getting upset about me being with a'ja when yk we best friends. i would never hurt you or cheat on you" jackie added.

"i never meant for any of this to happen jack. and you never deserved it you deserve to be loved right and nothing less" i told her.

"it's been 4 months and i been taking the time to heal. ik the real you and ik the real you would never. so whatever demon was in your head i hope you get checked out" she said.

"how are you tho ?" i asked.

"depressed asf. nobody knows and not having anyone to cry to is hard cus i feel so alone. and looking in the mirror to see this every single day is hard" she said taking off her long sleeve shirt.

i saw healing bruises going up and down her back and arms. some across her stomach making my heart drop.

"im sorry" i whispered as tears filled my eyes.

"we both need counseling kb. this wasn't even the worst of it but they healed." she said.

after talking to jackie i headed home. i had a lot of time to think about who i was and i didn't wanna be that person. im not that person.

but ik it's gone take time for us both especially for jackie to heal from all this trauma. i pray to God that he gives her the strength to get through all of this. she deserves to be happy.

chapter 2😝! vote and comment💕!