"How was your short fam vacation?"

Meerah let out a frustrating groan and rolled her eyes. Nagmemeryenda kami ng hopia at lowa na binili namin doon sa pinuntahan naming shop ni Raccoon. Isa pa lang ang nakakain kong chocolate hopia, hindi pa nga ubos, pero nakakatatlo na ng coffee hopia si Meerah.

"Nakaka-stress sila, promise!" reklamo niya. Pinagpag niya sa hangin ang kamay niyang may hawak na hopia. "Now pa lang, girl, sinasabi ko na, hindi ako makakasabay sa 'yo sa exam ngayong December."

"Why?"

"Di ba, wedding nga ng sister ko. Ako ang maid of honor niya. Ang gusto nila, December 19 pa lang, nasa hotel na kami kahit 22 pa naman ang wedding."

"Wait, 19? Exam pa natin 'yon, right?"

"Exactly! Ine-explain ko nga sa kanila, pero kakausapin na lang daw ni Mommy yung prof natin sa tatlong subject para sa morning na lang ako mag-take ng exam, then by afternoon, hahabol na lang kami sa earliest flight available pa-Coron. Susunduin na naman ako ni Kuya sa campus para makahabol kami sa flight."

Napakamot ako ng ulo. Ibig sabihin, mag-isa akong mag-e-exam sa night class?

"Sabay na rin kaya ako sa morning class para same tayo?" offer ko.

She was still munching her hopia when she gave me that enlightened look. Itinuro pa ako para sabihing may point. "Ike-credit ba 'yon as special exam?"

I shrugged. "Probably. Same lang naman ang format ng exams natin sa lahat ng campus."

Hindi pa rin ako nakakapag-decide kung saan ako magbabakasyon ngayong Christmas break. Gusto kong umuwi sa Canada, but it would be unfair to Daddy na uuwi na rin naman ako next year tapos kay Mommy pa rin ang option ko ngayong Christmas.

Ang ayoko lang kasi sa "vacation" na 'to ni Daddy sa Hokkaido, hindi pala vacation at all! Kasama niya ang buong company niya sa vacation bilang treat sa employees niya!

I didn't want to go along with his employees kasi magmumukha talaga kaming may field trip lang. As long as kasama ni Daddy ang mga empleyado niya, hindi ko ite-take 'yon as vacation sa end niya. Of course, salo niya silang lahat sa biyahe, so it's still part of his job.

Inaya ko si Raccoon na mag-dinner kung mag-isa lang siya sa dorm, and the only reply I got was, "Enjoy your dinner with Meerah. Nasa house ako ngayon ng parents ko."

I don't know if that was true or not, but whatever. It that was true, good for him, though. Baka pinauwi muna siya ng mommy niya dahil tumatakas siya sa training nang walang matinong rason.

Meerah and I were having our dinner when I brought up Raccoon's question early this morning.

"Meerah . . ."

"Yup?"

I was observing Meerah's reaction kasi crush na crush niya si Raccoon. Nag-e-expect nga ako ng violent or sad reaction from her tungkol sa sasabihin ko.

"Tinanong ako kanina ni Deacon kung puwede ko ba siyang maging boyfriend."

She dropped her spoon, and so was her jaw.

All of a sudden, I felt sad for her.

Or . . .

"AAAAAHHH!"

Then she screamed like shit—that kind of horror scream of some white chick na hinahabol ng killer sa mga movie.

She even stood up and hopped, throwing her arms in the air. Hinawakan pa nga ako sa kanang braso at niyugyog ako mula roon.

And I was like, "What the fuck?"

"Kinikilig akoooo! Aaahh!"

Um, this wasn't the reaction I was expecting, though.

Meerah was far from faking her reaction. Grabe, sobrang pula ng mukha niya pagbalik niya sa dining chair. Nagpaypay pa siya ng mukha habang tumatawa nang malakas.

"I knew it! Sabi na, e!"

"Di ba, dapat sad ka or . . . galit or something?"

"SAD? GALIT?" sabi pa niya na parang mali ang words na ginamit ko to describe her right reaction. "WHY?"

"Crush mo si Deacon, di ba?"

"Yes!"

"Kaya nga. If you like someone tapos hindi reciprocated . . ."

"GURL?!" Lalo pa siyang natawa sa sinabi ko. "Deacon Dardenne 'yon, girl! Hindi ko 'yon puwedeng jowain!"

"What—what do you mean by hindi mo puwedeng . . ." Napailing ako, litong-lito ako sa reaction ni Meerah. "Bakit hindi?"

She gave me that proud bitch eyebrow tweak and smirk and snapped four times, making those zigzag moves. "Girl! He's a Lauchengco-Dardenne. Wala tayo sa Cinderella movie. I can't just pull off a Dardenne that easily and get away with it without thinking of the perils of having him as my jowa. Crushable lang siya, pero hindi siya jowa material for me. I mean . . . he's the eldest, and he's a boy. Coming from two alta fams? Detrimental combination for me in the long run. Hindi pang-Disney princess maging jowa niya kahit pa prince charming material siya."

Meerah hit a bull's eye on that one.

"But you!" Bigla niya akong itinuro kaya hindi ko naisubo ang laman ng kutsara ko. "Girl, go ka na kay Cody. Barkada naman ni Tito ang daddy ni Cody, so hindi mahirap i-reach for you."

That one was a hit either.

Hindi lang sila basta barkada ni Daddy. Surprisingly, boss ni Mr. Dardenne ang daddy ko, but still, the dynamics of the whole situation were constantly changing and after ng contract nina Mr. Dardenne sa current project ni Daddy sa tinatayo nila ngayong condo tower, malamang na hindi na boss ng daddy ni Raccoon ang daddy ko.

Meerah gave me her thoughts, and she was so genuine about Raccoon's confession. Matagal na nga raw niyang napapansin. Since August pa, especially noong na-bully ako. December na! It's been months since that happened!

Hindi ko naman nano-notice kasi February pa lang, ang papansin na ni Raccoon sa 'kin. Hindi ko na nga alam kung kailan siya nice at kailan siya nang-iinis.

Sabi ni Meerah, sagutin ko na si Raccoon. I was still thinking about it. I didn't want to bring up love or whatever shit related to it. It was too early to say na mahal ko siya or what.

Although I enjoyed the perks sa branch ng Xpressbay kasi doon kami "official bf-gf," hindi ko lang makita outside Xpressbay ang setup namin doon.

"But it's easy to say no for you, right?" Meerah softly asked the next class. "You always say no to guys."

Akala ko nga, kayang daanin sa tulog ang pag-consider ko sa offer ni Raccoon na maging boyfriend siya. Pero matatapos na lang ang Monday, iniisip ko pa rin.

"Torn ka siguro ngayon kasi there's a part of you that wants to say yes, Venn."

I let out a tired sigh. Apparently, my no for Raccoon wasn't the same reason why I said no to other guys before. My 'no' reclined to considering the fact na hindi permanent ang magiging yes ko. Aalis na ako next year after graduation.

Surely, Raccoon wouldn't be able to come to Canada for the love story of the decade kasi gaya nga ng sabi ni Meerah, eldest boy siya sa dalawang rich family. He couldn't just abandon them that easily kasi siguradong may inaasahan din sa kanya ang family niya.

My mom moved to Canada to escape that pressure her family gave her. She was happy with Gerry, but her clan here in the Philippines? The Avellars loathed my mom for abandoning them.

Parang endless replay sa utak ko ang mga sumbat nila kay Mommy na matapos ang lahat ng pagtatanggol nila at pagdepensa sa lahat ng kagagahang ginawa niya noon, bigla na lang niyang iiwan ang lahat na parang walang nangyari.

Ayokong mag-risk kay Raccoon because at the end of the day, he still has responsibilities to fulfill. I couldn't see myself lining up along with his obligations.

Kay Daddy nga, ayokong nagpapa-VIP kahit anak ako, sa kanya pa kaya?

♥♥♥