Chapter Twenty Three:
When Decisions Are Made

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IT TOOK A WHILE BEFORE SHOTA TOLD THE SCHOOL BOARD ABOUT THE REAL REASON YOU, HIS DAUGHTER, DISAPPEARED. Because of this, Shota was put in temporary probation away from the school to protect your mental health and sanity while you were in school. The idea was suggested by Yshi as she is the school's guidance counselor. Nonetheless, the word got around the school quickly and the juniors easily took pity on you--one of which, you did not take lightly. You hated being pitied on especially when you know that it wasn't something they should be concerned about.

At home, things were starting to come to light, sort of. Your mother had been trying to warm up to the place but she always seems to have a slight panic mode whenever she sees Shota. This morning, however, it was the first time you've seen your mother at her calmest when faced with your father despite her awkwardly shaking figure. The two shared a short conversation for a while before Shota had to go to work. Shota, in his probation, spent more time with Eri and even began to be impressed by the small artworks Eri makes once in a while. One time, when you got home from school, your father was covered in paint and so was your little sister. They had spent the whole day trying to paint a sunset for Naomi.

Maybe Shota's probation wasn't so bad after all.

The only problem he was having and the only problem he needed to resolve was how he would be able to talk to you again without tumbling over what he has built with Naomi and Eri. You were also trying not to get in the way of him trying to gain their trust again and somehow, your heart even felt lighter seeing him work his way back into the family. But the conflicting feeling of opening your doors or keeping them closed kept you at bay and your naturally caring personality made it harder not to at least leave a small portion open.

Walking down the school corridors, your thoughts were interrupted when you walked by the student council room where Hitoshi and a few other members were having their meeting. You were still asked not to take over yet as the school would not want to add up to the stress that you already have right now. The lilac haired male was talking up front, suggesting ideas and writing them down on the whiteboard behind him. He looked serious and he looked like he knew what he was doing. Well, Hitoshi did say he learned from the best. For a moment, he caught a glimpse of you outside the window and he smiled. When both your eyes met, you felt your heart flutter at his small smile before he went back to his own business.

That's when it hit you.

Hurriedly walking past lots of students and walking down a slightly empty hallway, you opened the door to an office that seemed almost familiar to you. The cold air and the subtle tinge of blue in the lights made you flinch and your eyes squint, adjusting to the light. "I didn't expect you to come around here, (your name)," you looked down as you bit your lower lip. "Ms. Yshi, I need a but of counseling..."

"Just a bit?"

"Okay, maybe a lot. I just, I still feel conflicted about lots of things," you started as you sat down in front of the dark haired woman who somehow just gave you that same warm welcoming smile. "Well, why don't we start with one?" She suggested as she chuckled, the rich sound of her voice echoing through the room. "I can see dad's improvements with mom and Eri. It makes me happy yet I can see the regret swimming in his eyes whenever we look at one another and that somehow makes me feel off?" Yshi hummed, ushering you to go on. "I want to be able to fix things with him but a part of me tells me that I have proved enough and it should be his turn to at least try to do something. Just like how he's with Eri and mom..."

The female laughed while she played with a pen. "You know, you really are like your father," she smiled which made you tilt your head. "And not just by looks. The two of you share the same train of thoughts--in some things."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Both of you have good intentions. But both of you tend to sacrifice a lot even if it meant hurting people surrounding you. Despite wanting the best for you and the best for his family, he still managed to break it all down because of him." Yshi shrugged as she smiled politely. "You, on the other hand, wanted to prove to your father you could do your best but pushing people who only want to help you."

You looked at her with knitted brows, slumping on your chair, pouting your lips.

"I understand you're not ready yet and your father is still trying his best to probably grab the courage to try to fix his ties with you. And as much as I despise your father right now," she slowly pulled out a big notebook out of her drawer, brushing off the dust with her hands. "I know just how much he worked hard for you and your mother."

Slowly handing the notebook to you, you grabbed it with both your hands, the front cover marked with the title 'The Baby Files'. You automatically recognized the handwriting to be Yshi's. "What's this, Ms. Yshi?" Your head shifted to meet her gaze but you looked back at the notebook, grazing the cover with your fingertips, flipping it open. "When you father was student council president, I was the secretary. Well, in most of our meetings, we would just be taking care of you rather than having an actual meeting."

A blush hits your cheeks as you chuckled lightly, flipping through the notes that the female had made and how everyone handled the situation. "We used to take turns babysitting you. Heck, we even forced Enji to look over you, and you somewhat became close friends with Shoto for a while." There were lots of pictures in the notebook and one of which was Enji carrying you like a potato sack. In the bottom right of the page, it said that Keigo wasn't going to be watching over you anymore as he had taught you how to say the word 'fuck' at a very young age.

"Pfft-," you held in a laugh as you watched your father's disappointed reaction to the fire in the middle of the table of the student council room caused by you. "Did I really do this?"

"With the help of Keigo and Enji. The two really just wanted to see the whole school burn down but regretted it the moment the fire started." Yshi leaned on her table, resting her chin on top of her palm as she looked at your eagerness flipping through the notes. One particular picture caught your attention and it was the same picture that Hitoshi managed to pick up while cleaning. "Ms. Yshi, does father happen to have a copy of this?" You asked, pointing to the direction of the photo to which the female nodded her head to. "Actually, he has a copy of all the pictures there. And I have the notes."

"Oh... I see," you gulped as you looked back down. The picture was of a baby you and Shota wearing his toga. "That was high school graduation. I remembered how they wanted to bring you along to prove to people that they can still succeed even though they were young parents." A smile crept up your face at the thought of your parents proving people wrong and how that side of them ran through your veins like a galloping horse. Heaving out a sigh, you looked up at Yshi who was still watching you before closing the notebook and handing it to her. "Thank you for showing me this but I still don't know how it would help me?"

"It won't."

"What?"

"I mean, I just showed you because you seemed a bit tense. I know how much pain in the ass it could be to handle situations like yours. We've never been through the same thing but the emotions, they feel the same." Yshi began as she kept the notebook in her drawer, tucking a few loose strands behind her ear. "With that said, I can only do as much as give you suggestions on what to do. You either make a move or you don't. You either care or you don't. Whatever the decision you make, it's yours. You always have the final say."

"..."

"(Your name), it's never too late, right? A person can change when faced with the right amount of circumstances. The guilt your family carries is enough. It's time to break free from those chains..." You felt tears stinging on the corners of your eyes as she finished her sentence, your frown deepening. "I know that's a lot to take in all once but take your time. Nobody is in a rush. I just hope this won't disrupt your concentration for your studies."

"I'll try my best."

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YOU WAITED FOR HITOSHI BY THE DOOR FOR ALMOST HALF AN HOUR AFTER YOUR TALK WITH MS. YSHI. Once the meeting was over, Hitoshi walked out the door to greet you and apologize for making you wait. After a series of light arguments, the two of you came to terms by sharing a smile and a laugh. "I have decided on something, Hitoshi," your sudden outburst made the male stop on his tracks. The two of you were on the way to your house and the sun was setting already. "About?"

"About dad."

"Oh?" Hitoshi walked beside you, catching up from the steps he was left behind from, his bag clinking as it bounced in his back. You ran your fingers through your hair, your eyes darting downwards and back straight to wherever you were walking. Hitoshi's eyes never left you as the two of you walked and he also felt the need to place an arm over your shoulder, ready to comfort you from any sort of heaviness you might be feeling. "I want to show that I care but I'm afraid I might end up messing it all over again."

"Now, how does someone mess up showing how to care? I see Katsuki practically screaming at his friends and its his way of showing he cares. I don't see a problem with you showing you care." He blinked as he responded, his warmth wrapping around you like a blanket. You rolled your eyes as you huffed out some air. "Well, it's no problem with friends but what if I'm showing it to my father?"

"Ah, now that makes sense..." Hitoshi felt pain shot up his shoulder as you playfully slapped it. "What?" He raised his brow, dragging the 'a' as he spoke. "I can't believe you said that!" You squinted your eyes at him as he smiled, the colors of the sunset being reflected by his lilac strands. "Well, if that's what you want to do, I won't stop you. I'll support your decision. But if he ever hurts you again, I'm taking you away, okay?"

"What do you mean by taking me away?"

"Well, I mean, I'm going to marry you and let you live with me instead!" Hitoshi grinned as your palm hit your forehead while you chuckled. "And we're going to have kids and we'll take good care of them because I know you'll make a good mother!"

"And you won't make a good father?"

"That's up to you to decide."

"I think," you decided to look back at him, leaning forward to give him a peck on the lips. "-you'd make a wonderful parent, Hitoshi~!" Hitoshi's heart raced from your actions and his face turned red as he smiled at you, trying to calm himself down.

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"WELL, I DON'T REALLY SLEEP WITH HIM LATELY..."

Naomi, who was fixing Eri's braids, tilted her head to the side, her eyes fixed to the ceiling. "I actually don't remember the last time we slept together after what happened. I mean, even now that we're sort of okay, he still keeps his guard up and distancing himself as if he's afraid." The answer made you slump on your chair as Hitoshi sat on the floor, his bag in between his legs. "We don't see him sleep on the couch. Does he sleep on his home office then?"

"Probably. Most likely. Why are you asking me this, (your name)?"

"Nothing much," you lied through your teeth. As much as you wanted her to know, your true intentions should be hidden from the two as they might accidentally spill it out from excitement. "Is dinner ready? I'm starving, mom..." you gave a small smile as Naomi's eyes sparkled, nodding as she stood up directly walking to the kitchen. "I should be going now." Hitoshi said as he tried walking away but you were quick to grab him by the tie. "Oh, no, you are not. You are eating with us."

Shota had arrived shortly after the four of you ate dinner. He had walked quietly not to disrupt the joyous occasion on the table. To be honest, he felt a pang in his heart as he saw how your smiles and laughter were genuine in the dinner table without him. Maybe, all of you would be better off without him? He thought as he smiled bitterly. He slowly opened the door to his home office, thinking that he'd probably just eat dinner after everyone has gone to bed or so. But you were quick with your senses, you turned around just in time to see the door to his office close. "Is dad home?"

Naomi, who was having a fun conversation with the lilac-haired individual, looked over to the direction you were facing. "I don't think I heard him come in?"

"You know him..." you responded as you took a deep breath. "Can I excuse myself?" You asked as you pointed to the direction of the home office, smiling at your mother who now had a panicked expression on her face. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?" She asked as her yellow irises followed your figure that was grabbing a plate and walking near the table to get some of the food. "I will be. I mean, you'll know if I won't." You winked as you slowly walked away from the kitchen and to the door of Shota's home office.

You were hesitant.

Behind that door is the man who broke your heart and crushed your hopes way more than he should. Behind that door was the same man who molded you into who you are and the same man who taught you the things you know now. Behind that door is the man who loves you yet makes you feel like he doesn't.

Behind that door is your father.

Taking a deep breath, your fist slowly met at the wooden door to resound a knock. Hitoshi held Naomi's hand to help calm her down as she watched from a distance. The few minutes of silence made you uneasy and you decided to knock again, this time hearing a lot of shuffling from the inside. "Can I come in?" you asked as you squinted your eyes and leaning one of your ears to the door, sitting up straight as you heard his loud, gruff cough. "You can come in now."

Quickly opening the door with one hand and the plate on the other, you peeked in to see your father wipe a few stray tears away from his eyes. "Why didn't you come to dinner?" You pretended not to have seen the tears and walked in, showing him the plate. "I brought you some food. I'm guessing you might be hungry from where you might have gone to..." With a nod, Shota smiled while you placed it on top of his table.

Once again, silence. It was starting to get awkward for the both of you and no matter how many questions you tried to ask, your father would give you short, subtle answers. He also asked you how school was and if there was any problem to which you answered truthfully. Each conversation lasts for about 2-5 minutes and you just stood there in front of him like an idiot while he looks down on his desk as if it is more interesting than anything in the world right now.

You took a deep breath, biting your lower lip as you gulped. Your father looked like a mess right now. His eyes were puffy and his hair was all over the place like he hadn't combed it earlier. The things inside his office were also disrupted and out of place and there were tons of papers scattered on the floor.

"Dad, are you okay?"

The question caught both of you off guard. Surely, it was normal but since you rarely talk and after what had happened still fresh in your memories, it seemed strange--foreign even. Shota couldn't help but feel the tears lingering in his eyes again as he looked up at you, staring into your dark orbs that were now laced with worry. "I'm fine," he said as a tear falls down the side of his face. "Maybe just tired."

"You don't have work. I mean, not as much as you used to so, I don't see why you are. You haven't been eating properly lately and--," you stopped talking as you realized you had just started to blabber about what you noticed these past few weeks after you had returned to the house. "I just... I'm worried..."

"I'm sorry for worrying you. I promise I'm fine."

"Fine doesn't mean locking yourself up in your office and just hiding how you feel. Wow, that really sounds like me and it's creepy..." you stated through your realization as you blinked twice before hearing your father chuckle. "Listen, dad... I know we want to fix things and... I know that it's hard as of now but that doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up like I did so you could feel like you're doing me justice..."

"I just thought you hate me so much now, (your name)," Shota sighed as he combed his hair with his fingers, a few strands tangled while the others smoothed out. "There's just so many reasons for you to do so and I just thought that you wouldn't like to see my face and that it'll break you more. So, I... stay here..."

"I mean, you're not wrong in some aspects. But then again, you should be taking care of yourself still... The last thing we want happening is you leaving, dad..." you took one sharp inhale before exhaling it again. "There's still something worth fixing here, right? How are we supposed to do that if we don't meet end to end?"

You continued as you heard Shota hum. "They were right when they said that there's a thin line between love and hate. I used to hate Hitoshi before but now I like him. And I love you but right now, after what happened, I hate you."

"Understandable."

"But!" you cut him off. "It won't mean I'll hate you forever especially if I see that you are worth my love again. In time, I will be able to cross that line again and I'll promise not to walk over it. You just have to work your end of the bargain."

Shota genuinely smiled at you for the first time in weeks. It was not the scared ones you usually see him give you when you pass him by while painting with Eri or when they were talking with your mother in the living room. It was different. It was how your father smiled at you when you were younger--when everything was happier. "I'll do my best, (your name)..."

"That's my father..."

As you walked out, you thought about what just happened in there and you looked at your trembling hands. The nervousness you had been brushing off was finally taking its toll on you as you shook violently by the door, trying to maintain your balance. It wasn't a bad type of tremble though. It was more of a joyful, thankful, and appreciative shaking. You were hopeful that maybe things were going to turn brighter than they used to be.

Maybe, there was a chance that Anger would subside.

And Love can learn to love again.

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A/N: This was supposed to come out earlier but I watched the dubbed episodes of BNHA and cried. I also want everyone to know that you are all special to me and I tried to make this chapter somewhat wholesome.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D

Stay safe!

I love you all! ♡