I made a vow to myself that I'd never date any of my employers or co-workers in the future. It didn't do any good. When I dated my boss in the past, I only lost both my job and my heart.

"How does it feel to work for an Alterra?"

Nilingon ko si Denise. "It's not bad. The pay is generous and the benefits are good. Like, really good."

My friends gave me a look of disappointment.

"Don't give us such a boring answer, Aria. Tinatanong ko kung may chemistry ba kayo!" inis na sambit ni Denise at inirapan ako.

"Wala."

Napailing naman silang tatlo. Palibhasa dalawa na ang anak ni Miriam at ikakasal na si Denise. Si Prisma naman, limang taon na sila ng boyfriend niya. Ako na lang ang walang partner sa buhay.

I don't think it's a big deal, but my friends are probably worried that I might age alone. Pero grabe naman sila mag-alala, twenty-nine pa lang ako!

"Look, girls." Napabuntong hininga ako bago ngumiti sa kanila. "I know you're worried about me, but I'm not really in a rush to be in a relationship. Not anymore."

Tila nalungkot naman sila sa sinabi ko.

"You've matured, Aria." mangiyak-ngiyak na komento ni Prisma. "I remember when we went to a bar once and you were dressed as a nun. That time, you were so desperate to lose your virginity."

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Don't bring that up. I was just frustrated that time, okay?"

I don't want to remember that night.

That was the first time I met him.

Hindi na rin kami nagtagal sa coffee shop dahil may kanya-kanya kaming trabaho bukas. We don't go bar hopping anymore... Hindi na kami mga dalaga at umiiwas na kami sa mga lugar na magpapagulo lang sa buhay namin.

"I've matured, huh?" bulong ko sa aking sarili habang naghihintay ng bus pauwi.

I don't think so. Rather than that, I was hurt. And people change too much when they're hurt.

After all, it's been five years.

It's been five long years ever since the incident with Lars Altaria. When I brought him to the hospital, his twin sister Lucy slapped me for what happened, saying that nothing good has happened to Lars ever since I came into his life.

Our relationship ended without any closure.

I left my secretarial job in the publication without informing any of our colleagues. Hindi na rin ako nag-abalang magpaalam kay Lars dahil ayoko na siyang makita noong mga panahong iyon. It was better that way. We were just hurting each other.

I was jobless for a while, but I still had my savings so I managed to sustain my needs for months. Literal na naubos ang ipon ko dahil nahirapan akong makahanap ng bagong trabaho.

I never returned home. I said I'd rather die.

I know my younger sister offered to fund my education, but my pride didn't let me. On what expense? Magkakaroon pa ako ng utang na loob at baka isumbat pa niya sa akin balang araw. Tapos kakampihan na naman siya ng magulang namin at ipapamukha na naman nila sa akin na wala akong silbi.

I wasn't ready to forgive them yet, so I steeled my resolve and chose to live by myself penniless.

Those days were hard. I starved. Always tired from job-hunting. I didn't even have any time to be heartbroken over Lars Altaria.

And then two years ago, I finally got a new job from a prominent company. They were looking for a secretary, and I happened to have an experience with secretarial work. So that's how I got my job.

And my boss, with the surname Alterra (which I hate, because it sounds a bit similar to the surname of my ex), was insanely good-looking and filthy rich. That was no exaggeration. Kaya gano'n na lang siya pag-chismisan ng mga kaibigan ko.

But just to reiterate it, no. We have no chemistry at all. We barely even talk about anything aside from work. And I made a promise that I won't mix work and pleasure ever again. So, no. Never. Sir Lars would be the first and last boss that I'd ever date.

I hope so.

The next day, I was on my way to work when I got my hands on a broadsheet and saw my boss on the front page. Binasa ko ang nakasulat at tinitigan ang litrato sa dyaryo. What is this?

Chelsea Cruz, spotted na hinaharot ang golden boy ng mga Alterra? Gold digger daw ayon sa mga netizens!

Napangiwi ako sa headline. I worked for a publication before, so this is such a huge turn-off for me. Itong mga 'to, basta na lang may ma-publish para mapansin!

Anyway, I smell trouble. The thing about my boss, he had rotten luck and he was prone to getting in trouble without even doing anything.

At tama nga ang hinala ko dahil pagdating ko pa lang sa opisina, naabutan ko ang isang babaeng nagwawala at nagbuhos ng tubig sa boss ko. Ang aga-aga, nag-aamok siya dito!

"You ruined my career! People are calling me a gold-digger just because I was seen talking to you once. It was just once, and I didn't even approach you! You were the one who talked to me, Alterra!"

Nanatili namang tikom ang bibig ng boss ko. Sa tingin ko wala siyang balak magsalita. Mukhang hindi rin naman siya galit na binuhusan siya ng malamig na tubig ngayong umaga.

The woman, Chelsea, stormed out of the office when she realized that my boss had nothing to say to her. Nang tuluyan na siyang makalayas, tsaka lamang nagsalita ang kasama ko.

"Enlighten me." Sir Alex calmly remarked.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at inabot ang dyaryo kung saan may litrato sila ni Chelsea na magkasama. "Someone took a picture of you together with her."

He tilted his head in confusion. "Why?"

"Because she's an actress, Sir." sagot ko at inabutan siya ng panyo dahil nga binuhusan siya ng tubig at basang basa siya. Kawawa naman.

Tinanggap naman niya ito at pinunasan ang kanyang sarili. "I see. I wasn't aware. Had I known that, I wouldn't have talked to her. I suppose it's my fault."

"If I may ask, why did you talk to her, anyway?"

"I asked her where the restroom was."

Oh, wow.

Tila may dumaang uwak sa pagitan namin. Hindi ko masisisi si Chelsea. Tinanong lang siya kung nasa'n ang CR tapos nasira ang career niya.

I watched my boss as he continued to dry himself. I'm telling you again, this guy has rotten luck. And here's the catch: he has the tendency to spread that bad luck to others.

Anyway, Alex Alterra is a man of few words. Tall, fit, and clean. Smells good, too. Polite and well-mannered, but quiet at most times. Those were the best description of him.

Contrary to his intimidating appearance, though, he was kind. Despite being filthy rich, he knew how to be generous to his people. And I was one of those people he graced, so I'm quite fond of him.

Still, our relationship so far has been strictly professional. We never meet outside work. We never ask each other about personal things. We never bother to do small talks. I preferred it that way.

"I've booked a seafood restaurant as you wished, Sir." magalang kong sabi habang nasa loob kami ng sasakyan.

Sir Alex simply nodded in response. Halatang pagod siya dahil kakatapos lang ng meeting namin sa isang business partner na sakit sa ulo.

Nang makarating kami sa restaurant, sabay kaming bumaba ng security detail ni Sir Alex.

Yes, he had a bodyguard. Isa lang ang kasama namin, si Dan, pero sigurado akong meron pa sa paligid. I told you, Alex Alterra was filthy rich. Minsan nga, hindi ako makapaniwalang nagtatrabaho ako para sa ganito kayaman na tao.

We had just gotten inside the restaurant when my eyes caught sight of a familiar face, someone that I don't exactly wanna see at the moment.

I panicked.

Oh, god. What is he doing here?

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad at mabilis na napayuko at tumagilid upang itago ang mukha ko. Bakit nga ba ako nagtatago? Hindi ko na rin alam.

Sir Alex and his bodyguard Dan also halted from their tracks because of me. My boss seemed confused that I was hiding my face.

"What's the matter?" malumanay niyang tanong.

"Sir Alex," My lips quivered. "Would it be possible for me to stay outside and wait for you? I'm not hungry."

I want to leave. I don't want to be here. I can't meet him like this when I've done everything to avoid him.

Ayoko. Hindi pa ako handang makita siya.

I had often imagined what I'd do if I ever run into him again, but the thought always terrified me. So I did my best for us not to cross paths, despite us working in the same industry.

Hindi ko napigilan ang panginginig ng katawan ko. Sandali namang napatitig sa akin si Sir Alex, tila tinitimbang kung anong sasabihin niya. Halatang nagtataka siya sa inaasal ko.

Matapos ang ilang segundo, sumenyas siya kay Dan. "Let's find another place. It seems like my secretary doesn't like seafood."

He's not stupid. I know that he knows that's not the reason. But I'm thankful that Sir Alex is not asking me anything.

We were just about to leave the restaurant when a sonorous voice spoke behind us. "Alterra, where are you going without greeting your precious business partner?"

I froze on my spot. God, that voice...

Sumulyap sa akin si Sir Alex, tila napansin ang reaksyon ko. Kumunot ang noo niya bago tumingin sa kausap. "Fancy meeting you here, Altaria."

Hindi ako makahinga. No. I don't want this.

It's been ages since I heard his laugh. "Isn't it funny how our surnames sound the same? People sometimes ask me if we're blood-related."

"Is that so?" matabang na sagot ng kasama ko.

"You don't have any idea how many times I had to tell them that the spelling is different. Mine's Altaria. You're an Alterra. Is that so hard to remember-"

Napatigil siya sa pagsasalita nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Sandaling natigilan si Lars at kusang tumikom ang bibig niya.

Sir Alex, on the other hand, seemed even more confused on what to say. Nagpalipat-lipat siya ng tingin sa aming dalawa.

"Are you two acquainted?" tanong niya.

Silence.

Umiwas ng tingin si Lars. "Not really."

He walked past by us nonchalantly.

"I've never met that woman before."

His voice was full of contempt. Napayuko ako sa magkahalong sakit at hiya. Inasahan ko na iyong reaksyon niya pero masakit parin pala.

He's mad. Well, he had all the right to be mad.

I left him without even bidding proper farewell. He tried reaching out to me many times, but I rejected his attempts to talk. I stayed away from him. I kicked him out of my life without any warning. Above anything else, I gave him that eye injury. His left eye was blind because of me.

Of course he's mad. What did I expect?

I couldn't speak a word after that. I was afraid that my voice might crack if I did, so I kept my mouth shut the whole time.

Sir Alex didn't ask me anything when we got inside the car. I felt him stealing a glance at me once, but that was it. Hindi na ulit siya sumulyap sa akin at nanatili lang ang tingin niya sa labas ng sasakyan.

I stayed still on my seat. It was so difficult not to break into tears and I was barely holding it in, so when my boss spoke the next minute, I felt a rush of relief.

"I need to use the restroom. Everybody out with me." Sir Alex said casually then looked at me. "Except for you, Aria. Wait here."

As soon as my boss left the car with the driver and his bodyguard, the tears that I've been holding back streamed down to my cheeks.

I loved you, Lars. I'm sorry for everything.

Loved. Yes, I loved him, indeed. Now, I don't think there's any love left because all I feel is guilt. Pain. And regret. Those three have eaten whatever love I once had for Lars Altaria.

I regret the things I've done and said.

But there was no turning back. We're already done. Even if I apologize, nothing would change.

That was the reality about loving people.

Ten minutes have already passed when Sir Alex returned with the other two. He quietly sat beside me and our ride resumed as if nothing happened.

"Haba ng pila," Sir Alex broke the silence after a few minutes. Cute mag-tagalog. "We had to fall in line. There were so many people using the restroom."

I secretly smiled to myself. Alam kong walang pila. He didn't even go to the restroom at all. He was just being considerate by leaving me alone in the car to cry.

I made a vow to myself that I'd never date any of my employers or co-workers in the future. It didn't do any good. When I dated my boss in the past, I only lost both my job and my heart.

But when you become an adult, you know perfectly well that promises are meant to be broken.

I think I might break that promise someday.

Because Sir Alex was, in some way, similar to the lost love of my life. They were both kind, a quality that my heart can't resist.

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