Despite all that was said and done, we didn't get back together. That's what I couldn't understand. We were still in love with each other, so why did Sir Lars refuse to go out with me again? Just why?

There was a melancholic look on his face before he left me yesterday. Tila may gusto siyang sabihin sa akin ngunit hindi niya masabi. Hindi ko alam.

"You seem to be in distress." Sir Alex commented with concern. "What makes your dander down?"

I pursed my lips. I was itching to tell him and ask for advice, but Sir Alex likes me. I can't possibly talk to him about another man. That's impolite.

Mukhang nabasa naman niya ang iniisip ko at ngumiti siya. "You must be thinking about a man. It's okay to tell me your worries. I won't mind."

Hindi naman ako nakatiis at nasabi ko na kay Sir Alex ang sitwasyon ko. Taimtim naman siyang nakinig sa akin at hinintay niya muna ako matapos na magkwento bago siya magsalita.

"To sum it up, you both confessed that you're still into each other... but he refused to get back together with you?" My boss politely stated.

Tumango ako. Napaisip naman siya.

"Wouldn't it be better to ask him directly?"

I sighed. "I don't want to be pushy."

"That man loves you. He won't find you pushy. Plus, you deserve a proper explanation, Aria." malumanay na paliwanag ni Sir Alex.

I bit my lower lip. Should I confront him?

"Why don't you take the day off and meet him?" suhestiyon ni Sir Alex. "For your own peace of mind. I don't want you to work in that state."

For some reason, I wanted to cry. Alam ko namang may gusto si Sir Alex sa akin pero sinusuportahan parin niya ako. His kindness is so comforting.

"Thank you, Sir." I told him, teary-eyed.

"I wish you luck, my love." The way he addressed me made my heart skip a beat. "If he still refuses to take you back, come to me. I'm willing to wait."

I hope it doesn't come to that, Sir Alex.

I took the day off and prepared myself to meet Sir Lars in his office. I applied some light makeup and wore a pink dress to complement my dark skin. At the very least, I wanted to look good in front him.

Bago magtungo sa opisina niya, bumili ako ng bulaklak. It's usually the other way around, right? It's always the man who gives flowers to a woman... but I didn't want to go empty-handed.

Gusto kong makita niyang sincere ako.

I really want him back in my life.

Nang makarating ako sa Solar, dumaan muna ako sa receptionist sa lobby upang ipaalam kay Sir Lars na nandito ako. Ngunit matapos siyang tawagan, humingi ng pasensya sa akin ang babae.

I was denied entry. He didn't want to see me.

Well, it's fine. I won't be discouraged by something like this. He's obviously avoiding me. That's all the more reason to meet him. I need to hear the truth.

Bakit ayaw niyang makipagbalikan sa akin?

I stayed in the lobby and waited patiently for him to meet me. The receptionist seemed concerned, but she left me alone. It was already past lunchtime when Sir Lars came into my sight.

And he looks pissed off.

"Why are you still here? I said I didn't want to meet you." bungad niya nang makalapit sa akin.

"But you still came down to meet me."

"Because you're making me uncomfortable, Aria. If I didn't show up, you would have waited the whole day." Sir Lars said through gritted teeth.

Napalunok ako. "Can we please talk properly?"

"I have nothing to say to you." His brows furrowed in frustration. "Sinabi ko na, 'di ba? Ayoko na."

Nagtubig ang mga mata ko. "But you still love me!"

"It doesn't mean that I want to get back together with you!" Bahagyang tumaas ang boses niya, tila nauubusan na ng pasensya. "Ayoko na! Mahirap bang intindihin 'yon? Tapos na tayo, ayoko na!"

I broke down into tears. How did it come to this...

"Then you shouldn't have told me that you still love me. It's confusing." I said in between sobs.

"You're right. Had I known that you'd be acting like this, I wouldn't have told you. Mali ko 'yon." mariin niyang sabi at tinalikuran na ako. "Still, save yourself from the embarrassment and stop acting like a crazy ex. We're already done."

But I didn't to end it like that.

So I kept coming there the whole week, even if I looked so pathetic to other people. Araw-araw akong naghintay doon at ni isang beses ay hindi na siya nag-abalang puntahan ako o kausapin.

Mukha na akong tanga. Alam ko 'yon.

But I can withstand this much for him.

Sa kanya na nanggaling na mahal pa niya ako.

Only when two weeks had passed when I realized that Sir Lars was totally done with me. Ayaw na niya talagang makipagbalikan. Tapos na kami.

Nahirapan akong tanggapin iyon dahil akala ko pwede pa. Umasa ako dahil pinanghawakan ko 'yong sinabi niyang mahal pa niya ako.

But I guess love wasn't enough to keep two people together. We were still in love with each other, yes, but it didn't erase the wounds from our past.

"Dan, kindly take my secretary home."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Sir Alex. Mukhang napansin niyang tuliro ako buong araw.

"I don't know what exactly happened, but get some rest for now." aniya at tinapik ang ulo ko.

Sa hindi malamang dahilan, napakapit ako sa dulo ng damit niya. Napakurap naman si Sir Alex.

"Do you want to talk?" nag-aalangan niyang sabi.

Tumango ako. Sumulyap naman siya kay Dan at sinenyasan itong lumabas muna.

Nang maiwan kaming dalawa sa loob, kinuha ni Sir Alex ang mga kamay kong mahigpit na nakakapit sa damit niya. His hands are so warm...

He squeezed my hands. "What happened?"

Tears streamed down on my cheeks.

I recounted the recent events to Sir Alex. As usual, he listened to me earnestly without interrupting me. When I was done, it was his turn to talk.

"Aria," He called my name affectionately. "There's only so much we can do when people make up their mind. Their choice is beyond our control."

"Then what I am supposed to do now?" I sobbed.

Niyakap ako ni Sir Alex at inalo sa pag-iyak. "I'm afraid you can only live through that pain."

Sana hindi na lang kami nagkita ulit.

If our paths didn't cross after five years, Sir Lars would've kept resenting me and I wouldn't have known that he still loves me. Nasasaktan ako dahil alam kong mahal pa naman namin ang isa't isa pero ayaw na niya akong balikan.

I know I should respect his decision, but it's hard.

It's hard to love someone this much.

The days that followed were a total mess. I kept myself distracted with work and it was successful. I was too busy during daytime that I couldn't even think of my ex. At night, however, that's when reality hits me again.

Ngayong gabi, napagpasyahan kong pumunta sa bar upang libangin ang aking sarili. If I stayed at home in this state, I'd only end up crying myself to sleep. So I thought, if I were gonna cry, wouldn't it be better to cry somewhere livelier and full of life?

I've only had two shots of tequila when I saw a familiar face at the entrance of the bar. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at mabilis akong nagtago.

"Bakit siya nandito?" inis kong bulong.

Alam ko sa sarili kong nauna ako rito, pero kapag nakita niya ako, baka isipin niya sinusundan ko siya!

Oh, my god. I've already been humiliated enough when I waited for him in the lobby for two weeks.

In an attempt to circumvent Sir Lars, I hid my face behind my handbag and made my way into the crowd. Ngunit habang nasa dagat ako ng mga tao...

Huh?

Did I just feel a hand squeezing my butt?

Mabilis akong tumalikod at nadatnan ko ang isang lalaking nakainom at halos hubaran na ako sa lagkit ng kanyang tingin. Bagama't ninenerbyos ay kinompronta ko siya.

"You just touched my ass, didn't you?" akusa ko.

He shrugged. "And so?"

"Bastos!" sigaw ko sa kanya at dumapo ang kamay ko sa kanyang pisngi. Grabe, wala man lang hiya!

Akmang aalis na ako dahil ayoko na sana siyang pag-aksayahan ng panahon pero napatili ako nang hilahin niya ang buhok ko at bigla niya akong inuntog sa kalapit na counter. Nahilo ako.

"Akala mo kung sino kang maganda-!"

Oh, my god. This guy is crazy!

He kept on pulling my hair and dragged me with him. Well, there's no way I'm backing down without a fight, so I did. Sa totoo lang, first time kong makipag-pisikalan kaya puro kalmot lang ang nagawa ko sa kanya.

Just when he was about to punch me, someone interrupted our tussle. "Hands off, you fucker!"

It was Lars Altaria.

Sa tulong ng ibang tao sa paligid, nagawa nilang maawat ang lalaking nagwawala. Napatakip ako sa ilong ko nang mapansin kong nagdudugo ito.

"Hey," Sir Lars stared at my body. I could hear the panic in his voice. "Let me see your wounds."

Kusang umiwas ang katawan ko sa hawak niya.

"I'm fine." mariin kong sabi sa kanya. "By the way, I was already here before you even came. I'm just saying in case you're getting the wrong idea."

Pumihit na ako paalis at hindi ko na siya hinintay na magsalita. I don't want him to touch me casually after shutting me down a few weeks ago. Kung ayaw na talaga niya sa akin, panindigan niya.

I wish he'd stop confusing me any more than I am.

Nang makalabas na ako sa bar, tsaka ko lang napansin na nakasunod pala siya sa akin. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso at pinigilang umalis.

"At the very least, let me tend to your wounds."

Binawi ko ang braso ko. "Bakit?"

Tumikhim siya. "You're bleeding."

"And that's none of your business, Sir Lars. You're the one who didn't want anything to do with me, right? So leave me alone." I spat those words as if they were poison. And I meant them.

As soon as I turned my back from him, my eyes watered with tears. I hate it. One day he's so harsh on me, and then the next he'd be like this. Ano ba talagang gusto niyang mangyari aming dalawa?

Akala ko hindi na niya ako hahabulin, ngunit napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang yakapin niya ako mula sa likuran. Napahugot ako ng hininga.

"I still love you. I really do." Sir Lars whispered in a helpless tone. "I'm sorry that I can't be with you."

I don't understand. Bakit parang siya pa ang mas nasasaktan sa aming dalawa? Why exactly can't we get back together? What's the reason?

Tila natunaw lahat ng galit ko at napalitan ng pagkalito at desperasyon. Kailangan kong malaman kung bakit. Kailangan kong malaman kung bakit hindi na niya ako pwedeng balikan.

Hinarap ko siya. "What do you mean?"

Sir Lars couldn't answer my question. Instead, he closed his eyes in frustration, and it felt like there was something he couldn't say to my face.

I held both of his arms desperately. "We still love each other. What's stopping you from going back to me? Sabihin mo sa akin 'yong totoo, Sir Lars."

Tears formed on the side of his eyes.

"Are you scared that I might hurt you again?" umiiyak kong tanong at mas hinigpitan pa ang pagkapit sa kanya. "I promise I'll be good. I won't hurt you again. Balik ka na sa akin, please?"

Instead of giving me an answer, his lips crashed against mine. I wasn't expecting him to kiss me, but I didn't push him back. These were the lips that I've been longing to taste for so long, after all.

His kisses were intoxicating. Addicting, to a certain extent, like cigarettes that you'll keep on smoking even if it were to kill you. And Lars Altaria was the only one who can give me such kisses.

When we pulled away from each other, we were both breathless. Just when I was about to say something, Sir Lars broke down into tears.

"This will be the last time, Moya." His lips dithered as he spoke. "We need to be done with each other tonight. If you don't want to leave my life, then I'll leave yours."

He cupped my cheeks then rested his forehead on mine. My heart was torn asunder by his words.

I don't understand. I wish he'd tell me.

"Huwag mo akong iwan. Mahal kita." pakiusap ko.

"I'm sorry." Sir Lars said in between sobs. "All I want is for you to be happy. I'm sorry. I love you."

When we met after five years, I thought nothing more could hurt me than the resentful words that Sir Lars spoke against me. I was wrong.

When Sir Lars refused to come back to me, I thought my heart would no longer feel heavy. For the second time, I was wrong.

Because the next words that escaped from his lips were far more devastating, like a burning star that destroyed my world without so much warning.

"I'm going to be a father soon, Moya."

---

Last two chapters for the main story, and then I will publish some side stories of some characters.

Thanks for the continuous support!

Yours Truly,
Aomine-san