Patrick

I'm trying to help Drew set up for the party, but he's being completely useless. I've been setting up the drink table for the past thirty minutes while he's been on the phone with some random girl from our school. It shouldn't surprise me that I'm the one doing all of the work though.

"Yeah?" Drew asks seductively into the speaker. "And what would you like me to do to you?"

"Come on, man." I grumble, finally seeming to get his attention. "The party starts in an hour. There's still a lot of shit to do."

A couple of guys from the team come through the door with a keg in hand, and Drew stuffs his phone back into his pocket before he tells them to put it in the backyard.

"I'm so glad my parents went to go visit my sister." He grins, grabbing some plastic cups from my hand. "Are a lot of people coming?"

"Yeah. I invited everyone you asked me to."

"Jess?" He asks.

I roll my eyes as I form the pyramid structure on the table for beer pong. He's been obsessed with her since freshman year. It's kind of pathetic. "You do realize that she's completely into girls, correct? Like, she's bringing her girlfriend tonight." I tell him. "You're insane if you think you've got a chance."

"I still feel like she could be bi." He laughs louder before he goes over to the stereo and grabs the aux cord. "As long as she stops bringing that fat chick with her then I'll have a decent chance. That girl is the biggest cock block."

"You mean Ella." I state, becoming irritated. "Jess already told me she was bringing her."

"The girl that was with her at practice the other day?" Brett, one of my other teammates, comes back in from placing the keg outside and lets out a groan. "Dude, that's not the look we're going for. You should have just told her to stay home."

I have no idea why they all make it seem like she's the worst thing to ever exist. Ella is so cool, but they'll never give her the time of day to get to know her just because of how she looks. That's so messed up.

Drew begins to play a rap song loudly through the speakers and sets his phone on the table, turning to give me a sideways grin. "You know what we should do?" He says. "We should do seven minutes of heaven tonight and put her in with someone. That shit would be hilarious."

I ignore the anger that's beginning to brew inside of me, praying and hoping that the rest of the guys won't agree with him. Of course, they all erupt into laughter when they hear this idea though, and that's when I know that I have to think of something quick to fix this. The only reason Ella is coming tonight is to see me. I'm certain of that. If she ends up getting made fun of tonight then she's never going to want to go anywhere with me ever again.

"Dude, I'm so down." Brett chimes in. "I bet you anything I get her to take her clothes off."

I drop the cups suddenly, and everyone turns to look at me. I'm so angry that I feel like I'm beginning to shake, but miraculously nobody can sense that I'm upset. The thought of any other guy seeing her without her clothes on for the first time without having the right intentions makes me want to throw up.

"Why don't I do it?" I finally speak up, clearing my throat. "I mean, she already knows me, right? It'd be perfect."

Drew claps me on the back, the rest of the guys giving me a silent nod of approval. I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for Ella. The last thing she needs is to be embarrassed again here because that will probably destroy any ounce of self-esteem she has left.

~

By eleven I'm already drunk. I had started drinking when I came here to set up, and then everyone else just kept feeding me drinks left and right. I don't know how much I've had, but I can definitely feel it. My head is pounding from the bass of the music.

I'm trying to properly walk down the stairs after using the bathroom, but it's pointless. I'm clutching onto the walls before I see Drew run around the corner, gripping the banister to swirl around and dart up the steps two at a time to reach me.

"Dude." He laughs hysterically, clearly being piss drunk as well. "Come on, it's time."

I've been drinking to avoid this moment all night long. That's part of the reason I've avoided Ella entirely. I'm trying to ask myself why I'm so concerned about what they think about me, and why it matters so much if I'm into her. It's almost like I keep fighting with myself on whether or not to make a move on her, and it's all because of them and their stupid opinions. Why am I doing this?

"No," Ella says when I round the corner to Brett, her face as red as a tomato. "Seriously, no. That's not really my thing."

Brett places a hand above her head on the wall, leaning in close to her. My fists clench at my sides. "Come on." He urges sweetly, acting as if he's honestly interested in her. "It's only seven minutes with Patrick. He's not that bad of a guy."

Drew nudges me in the rib cage, snickering away with the rest of the team behind her back. It's then that I notice Rosie sitting on the table with the beer pong. She's got this little leather mini skirt with a top that hardly covers her breasts. I can see the red lace of her bra popping through the fabric.

"Rosie's here?" I whisper to Drew.

"Yeah. I guess you forgot to invite her? She texted me thinking she wasn't allowed to come."

I breathe out a long sigh, glancing between her and Ella. "Oh." I mouth silently, staring down at my sneakers for a second. Tonight is not going at all how I thought it would.

Brett puts his hand on the closet door and opens it, turning to give us another wide smile. Ella looks like she might puke all over the floor, her face as white as a ghost. I can tell she's not really used to being seen at these types of parties. I'm going to try and help her as much as I possibly can.

I send her a reassuring smile and cock my head slightly to the side. "Scared?" I tease. "As Brett said, it's only seven minutes."

Ella sends me an odd expression, and I know it's because I'm acting differently than I normally do. I don't act like this around her, only in front of my friends. I think she's honestly the only person who has seen the real me.

She finally rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm not scared. We can do this if it will appease all of you. Come on." She grabs onto the door and looks back at me.

Rosie takes a bottle of whiskey off of the table and moves some cups to the side so that she can relax back onto her elbows. "I think you should take a shot before you go in there, Patrick. Don't you?"

Ella looks at me, then back to her as she pours the liquor onto her stomach, the liquid traveling to her belly button before she raises her eyebrows at me. Drew just pats me on the shoulder and shakes his head in disbelief from jealousy as I stand there honestly not knowing what to do. This is probably the worst predicament I've ever been in.

Everyone is looking at me to see what I'm going to do. Even though I'm not with Ella, I'm still trying to pursue her. I don't think she realizes that yet, but still. I don't want to hurt her. I also don't want to make it obvious that I like her that way either though.

"Of course." I smirk, giving in. I bend down and stick my tongue into her naval, slowly trailing it up her stomach to soak up all of the liquor. Rosie takes me by surprise and kisses me then, her tongue going into my mouth to collect some of the liquor as well. Everyone around us starts to go crazy, shouting and whatnot, and when I pull away quickly to give her a confused stare I see her look Ella up and down. Is she trying to claim me or something?

"Have fun." She winks, biting lightly on her bottom lip.

Ella doesn't look hurt like I thought she would, instead she looks kind of disgusted. I don't blame her. All I can do is follow her into the tiny closet until we're finally surrounded by silence. She's almost pressed up against my chest, so close that I can smell the mint of her gum from her breath.

"I didn't know she would do that." I say quickly, clearing my throat from the awkwardness. I can hardly see her from it being so dark in here, but I can see her eyes from the light seeping into the slits in the door.

"I don't care." She shrugs. "Whoever you choose to put your tongue on doesn't concern me."

"Okay, but I didn't want to do that." I try to say. "That's not like me."

She scoffs, trying to move away from me. It's kind of impossible though from the proximity of the closet. "Well, you certainly fooled me. It seemed like you thoroughly enjoyed yourself."

"Well, I didn't."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because-" I stop myself, trying to come up with an answer. "Because they all wanted me to."

"Ah." She laughs sarcastically and rolls her eyes. "So they forced you to lick the liquor off of the pretty girl? You poor thing."

"I really didn't want to do that." I say.

"This whole thing is just stupid." She says irritatingly. "Can we get out now? I think we've been in here for seven minutes."

I'm so into Ella it's ridiculous. Even though she can't stand me, I can't seem to get enough of her. I don't exactly keep making the best impressions, but the other night on the phone she really got to know who I honestly am. I don't think she realizes that in the slightest. Who she just saw moments ago isn't me.

Taking a leap of faith, I put my hand on her waist, but she jerks away. It's too small for her to move away from my touch entirely, but it's enough to make me take my hand away. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I won't do that if you don't want me to."

"You could literally walk out of this closet and ask Rosie to come in here with you." She shoots back angrily. "I'm positive she'd give you more in seven minutes than I ever could."

"I don't want to be in here with Rosie."

"But you want to be in here with me?" She retorts. "I mean, honestly. What is up with this? Why did they want me to come in here with you?"

Letting out a sigh, I rest my head against the wall of the closet before I look at her again. "Would it be so bad if I said that yes, I did want to be in here with you?"

I place my hand on her waist again, and this time she doesn't move it. She looks at me for a quick second, tugging at the inside of her cheek. "That wouldn't make sense."

"And why not?" I murmur. I move my body closer to hers, feeling the sexual tension rise between us. It's impossible to ignore, so even though Ella is acting like she can't feel it I know that she can. It amazes me that she thinks she can't possibly be attractive to someone. She's so wrong.

"Patrick." She smiles slightly when I move even closer, both hands now around her waist. I haven't made a move yet, but I'm about to. "Seriously, is this a joke or something? Stop."

The door swings open,  a bunch of people gathered out in the hallway with their cameras on us. I move away from Ella, barely even being able to look at her. I didn't think that this was in the plans at all. I didn't know he was going to do this.

"She was supposed to be naked!" Brett laughs hysterically, accidentally spilling beer onto the floor. "You really don't have much game, do you, Connelly?"

I look at Ella, and when I do I wish I hadn't. She looks furious, her hands drawn into fists at her sides with the tips of her ears becoming redder with each second that passes by. I don't know what to say to her at this moment because it looks really bad. I know that it does.

"You've got to be kidding me." Ella seethes through clenched teeth, the tears just dying to spill out. I can't even look at her from being so ashamed, so all I can do is just stare at my shoes. "Did you all get what you wanted? Are you happy with yourselves?"

"Ella..." I say, trying to explain. She sticks her hand up to stop me.

"Don't. This whole entire party was a complete waste of my time. I'm going home."

"Suit yourself muffin top." Rosie giggles, taking another sip of whiskey. Ella's arms go around her waist to block the little bit of extra skin that is hanging over her jeans from underneath her shirt before she shoves her way through the crowd, leaving me behind.

Nobody is paying attention to me once the pictures start to be passed around, so I immediately begin to run after her. She's on the dirt driveway of Drew's house, continuing to walk until I finally manage to catch up with her. Drew lives in the middle of nowhere, so it's almost pitch black now. No light is anywhere to be found.

I grab her elbow to turn her around, but she shrugs me off and narrows her eyes. "What the hell do you want?" She shouts, eyes flashing.

"I just want to make sure that you're okay." I ask.

She lets out a laugh in disbelief, throwing her arms up at her sides. "You want to make sure that I'm okay after what just happened? After you caused what just happened? Did you actually think that you were going to get me naked tonight after what we talked about on the phone? Are you serious? I am so stupid to have even thought that we were actually becoming friends."

"I promise I had no idea they were going to do that." I tell her. She looks at me again for a brief second, almost knowing that I'm telling the truth. "I didn't know that I'd be doing seven minutes tonight. I didn't know that they'd pull open the door like that, alright? This wasn't planned by me. Not at all."

I leave out the fact that I had volunteered to be the one to go in the closet with her, but I know that if she found out I was the least bit involved with this then she'd never talk to me again. That's something I can't risk. Besides, it could have been a lot worse if it were Brett. I was only trying to help.

Ella is shaking from either being angry or cold. Either way, I step closer to her and grab onto her elbow once more. "Can I just give you a hug right now?" I ask gently. "Look at you, Ella. You're shaking."

"Hug you? You didn't even say anything to them!" She cries, wiping the tears away quickly. "Why would I want to hug you right now?"

She's trying to hide all of the hurt she just experienced, trying to push away anyone that dare go near her right now. I knew that getting with Ella wouldn't be easy, so right now if she just needs a friend then that's exactly what I'll be for her.

"Ella," I whisper, tugging her closer to me. She doesn't know what to do, she just looks at me with her bottom lip trembling. "Seriously, come here. I'm so sorry."

I guess that's all I needed to say because she falls into my arms in a heartbeat and weeps, her forehead pressed against my chest as I hold her tightly. I rest my chin on top of her head and feel her move closer to me, gripping tighter around my waist. This is probably the best feeling I've ever gotten.

I hold her in my arms for what seems like two minutes, but her cries don't last long. Almost as if she becomes embarrassed, she immediately steps away from me and crosses her arms over her chest.

"I had way too much to drink." I say in an attempt to defend myself. "I'm sorry for not saying anything. I just get awkward in situations like that and don't know what to do."

"You're drunk?" She asks. When she looks at me she's got an expression I can't decipher. I want to ask her why she looks so upset with me, but I don't. I remember how she got before when I asked why she doesn't drink.

"I'm okay." I shrug. "I feel a little sick, but I'm okay."

Awkward silence overwhelms us as I scuff my sneaker in the dirt, kicking a couple of rocks out of the way. I watch her eyes flicker towards mine, little specks of beautiful emerald standing out that I've never noticed before. She lets out a sigh and sits down on the edge of the driveway by the grass, stretching her feet out in front of her. I don't know if she's wanting me to still be here, but I plop down beside her and feel even dizzier than before.

"Why are you so nice to me?" She finally asks. "Why don't you just join along with them?"

"Because I'm not mean. I don't believe in treating a human being that way. We're friends, right? I'm not going to make fun of my friend."

A smile finally replaces her frown, the creases in her forehead settling back into place. She seems to have calmed down, and for a second I think of leaning over to grab her hand or something, but I stop myself. She's been through a lot tonight. It's definitely not the right time to make a move on her.

"I'm sorry for crying. Not many people see that side of me."

I nudge her gently with my shoulder. "Everyone cries. Are you going to be okay?"

"Um, yeah." She replies, shifting awkwardly on the grass. I can tell she's uncomfortable. "You can go back now if you want. I'm going to be fine."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that told you to go to this party because I wanted to hang out with you, right? Why would I want to go back?"

She shifts more, playing with her fingers in her lap before she looks at me again. Her eyes are such a vibrant green, her cheeks all puffy. I'm guessing they look this way because she's just finished crying, but this girl is so beautiful and I don't know how the hell she doesn't realize it. So what if she's got a little stomach that shows from wearing jeans? Does she even realize how they make her body look like an hourglass? Her curls go in a bunch of different directions, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I like the things she hates about herself.

"I just don't know why you keep wanting to see me." She finally whispers. My shoulder is touching hers now, and when our eyes lock once more I get short of breath, realizing this is the moment I think I've been waiting for. She's so close to me. "Why?" She repeats.

I debate for about a minute about if I want to do this here and now, but I finally let out a deep breath and cup her cheek with my hand, brushing my thumb to collect the remaining wetness off of her face. Her eyes grow wide with the uncertainty of what I'm about to do until a loud bang sounds behind us, and drunken laughter follows it.

"Dude, that's so sick!" A random guy says when he throws another beer bottle onto the ground. It creates the same sound, smashing everywhere onto the road.

"Fuck." I mutter, this moment completely ruined.

When she stands up from the ground with her keys in hand I immediately know I lost my chance tonight. I'm mad at myself for not doing it sooner, because if I had kissed her then maybe she wouldn't be leaving right now.

"I think I'm going to go home." She says quietly, glancing curiously at the two boys throwing bottles. "I'm sorry for blaming you. I guess maybe you aren't that much of an asshole like I thought. Maybe a player, but not an asshole."

"A player?" I almost laugh when I hear her until I realize she's serious. "Why would you think I'm a player?"

"Hm..." She taps on her chin, giving me a sly smile. "I don't know, maybe you should go ask Rosie? The girl you just took a body shot off of about an hour ago?"

I have nothing to say to that, because I know she's right. I only did that to impress my friends, but it's almost as if she knows that because after she walks a couple of steps she turns around to face me, twirling her keys around her fingers. "Do you need a ride?" She teases.

"Oh, wow," I say in amusement, rising to my feet. I begin to follow her up the driveway, a stupid smirk plastered to my face. "I see the favor is being returned now, yeah?"

We get to her car and climb inside. As I put on my seatbelt she starts the car and leans over to turn on the radio. "Any requests?" She mocks.

"Oh, you've got jokes." I say, resting back more into the seat. She seems to be in a much better mood than a few moments ago, so that eases my mind a bit. I don't want her thinking of tonight too much.

I tell her to make a right turn out of his driveway so that we can begin to head to my house, glancing at her ever so often to appreciate how she drives. She's got one hand holding the wheel on the bottom right of the circle, her other arm propped up against the edge of the window so that she can rest her head against her hand. A part of me wants to speak to her, but I also like the fact that we can have silence between us without needing to say anything at all. We're becoming comfortable with each other. I like that.

After another five minutes, I realize that the alcohol is hitting me harder than expected. I can literally feel it swish around every time she goes over a bump, my stomach tying up in knots. I clear my throat, covering my mouth with my hand.

"Are you alright?" She looks over to analyze me, but all I can do is just rest my forehead against the cold glass of the car window. I'm not feeling good at all, and I finally tell her to pull over, vomiting everywhere on the road. She doesn't say anything for a minute, she just lets me hurl everything up. I'm too sick to even comprehend that I basically just ruined any chance I had at getting her to like me.

I get back into the car and shut the door, avoiding eye contact with her as I put my seatbelt back on. I feel a lot better now that I threw up though.

"You should take some ibuprofen when you get home." She decides to say.

"Yeah. Sorry for almost throwing up chunks in your car."

"Hey," She laughs, sending me a tiny grin. "At least we've both got embarrassing stories to tell tonight."

"Mine is far worse. God, if I go home like this my parents are going to murder me."

"What do you want to do then?"

"Well, first I want to get food, and then-"

"You want to get food when you just threw up?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows together in confusion. "That's so gross."

"So is eating salad all the time." I let out a laugh, putting my hands up in defense when she tries to jokingly punch me. "Don't say I'm not right!" I laugh harder and move over against the door of the car more so that she can't reach me any longer. "Pay attention to the road. You're supposed to be the sober one."

I'm surprised when she pulls into Mcdonald's, but I suppose that's the only thing that's open right now. There isn't anybody in line, and when she rolls down the window she flashes me a cheesy grin before she says, "Can I get three double cheeseburgers please?"

"Oh my god," I announce drastically as she pulls up to the first window. "Ladies and gentlemen, I think I've finally gotten through to her. I think, by some miracle, this woman just ordered a cheeseburger for herself."

"Shut up." She giggles.

We take the bag and she parks into a parking spot, passing me over my two burgers before she grabs hers. I can't help but wonder if this might become our thing. Going to Mcdonald's at two in the morning for double cheeseburgers. It sounds stupid, but the more time we spend together the more I'm falling for her.

I watch her unwrap it and take a huge bite from it, not even caring that I'm here. I honestly think her newfound confidence might have a little bit to do with me. I'm glad that I can make one of her worst days turn into hopefully one of her best ones.

"I'm so proud of you." I decide to say, taking an enormous bite from my burger as well. "This is a huge step for you."

"Because I ate a burger?" She laughs from my mouth being full and passes me over a napkin.

"Yes! I have finally cured you of ordering salads for eternity. You should be thanking me."

"The only thing I should be thanking you for is for being there for me tonight. I appreciate it."

I see her hand flinch as if she's about to grab mine, and it's like she suddenly realizes because her cheeks immediately flush before she grabs her wrapper and tosses it in the bag.

"Anytime," I tell her. "Seriously, whenever you need me I'll be here."

"Me too."

We don't say much after that on the way back to my house. We talk a little bit about our families and about the pets we've had, nothing major. By the time she pulls into my driveway, you can't see my house at all. It's completely dark. That means my mom definitely gave up on waiting up for me.

"Thanks for the ride Ella," I say to her, placing my hand on the handle of the door. I don't want to leave. I would rather sit in this car and talk to her. "Sorry for the puking."

"Sorry about the crying." She says back.

She's waiting for me to get out of the car, but instead, I slump back into the passenger side seat and drum my fingertips on the edge of the window. "What do you want to do with your life?" I ask her.

She seems surprised that I ask her this, but she doesn't tell me to get out of the car. She places the car in park and turns to look at me instead. "My life? What do you mean by that?"

"Where do you want to go to college? Who do you want to be?"

"That's a pretty deep question." She smirks. "It'd probably take a while to think about."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I've got nowhere to be right now. Do you?"

"Fair enough." She lets out a sigh of defeat after about thirty seconds or so and begins to fumble with the gear shift. "Um, to be honest, I don't really know. It seems like everyone has their whole life figured out sometimes, and I've been so worried about just trying to make it through until tomorrow that I can't even begin to think about the future, you know? It scares me."

I nod my head, allowing her to continue.

"I'd probably want to go to school for English or something. I got into some colleges in D.C., but I'm not really sure if I want to go yet. I feel like I need to figure myself out before I can mentally take on trying to tackle a college degree. It just seems like adult life is so rushed right after high school. Why can't we just take a break and live life for a few years? Am I actually supposed to know what I want to do with my life at eighteen?"

She keeps talking and all I want to do is lean over and kiss her to stop her from worrying about everything. I can tell that her mind always runs non-stop throughout the day. I can tell that this situation truly bothers her, and if I had known then I probably wouldn't have brought it up. As much as I hate to bother her, I love watching her talk about the things she's passionate about though. It's kind of addicting.

"Sorry." She brings her thumbnail up to her mouth to bite at it when she notices the car has grown silent, but the sound of the air conditioning still blows through the vents. "I'm talking too much. You go."

"You aren't talking too much," I tell her. "I think everyone kind of feels that way. I'm about to be a senior this year, but I already feel like I'm being pressured to make my next steps. My parents want me to get a scholarship for basketball, and as great as that would be, I'm just not sure if that's going to happen. I can't bank on that."

"Basketball is what you want to do?" She arches an eyebrow up. "I thought it was teaching?"

"To get me through college. Not permanently. Teaching has interested me, but I'm still undecided. Just like you."

"Okay." She nods and rests her head on the seat. Her fingers are still fumbling with the gear shift. Is she nervous? "Well, thank you for tonight. For calming me down after everything and stuff. You didn't have to, but I appreciate it."

Just grab her hand!

I stare at her fingertips going in circles around that gear shift before I allow my gaze to travel over her body, then up to her neck, then up to her eyes. Her face is as red as a tomato from her noticing me checking her out. She's so pretty.

"I... wanted to do that." I finally decide on saying, gulping hard. "I don't like to see you so upset."

I move closer, and now her eyes are like a deer in headlights. She's definitely nervous. "Um," She clears her throat, so I freeze. "I should head back. My grandparents are probably wondering where I am."

I can't wipe the stupid smirk off my face because I can tell she's trying to come up with an excuse to not face the reality that I was about to kiss her. I could tell she wanted to kiss me too from the way the goosebumps rose on her arm. I could tell by the way her breath hitched in her throat. "Okay." I nod, and all she can do is continue to blush. "I enjoyed tonight despite our embarrassing stories. Can I call you tomorrow?"

She tells me yes before I close the door, and as I'm heading up the driveway to the house I can't seem to shake this feeling for her. I'm not sure how people don't see Ella the way I see her. I don't understand how they can't see how beautiful she is, or how funny, or how smart, but the one thing I know for certain is that this girl is completely taking over my damn head. 

A/N:

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