Patrick

Drew and Rosie decided that they wanted to go to the shack for lunch, and as much as I love to eat at this place I just can't help but get nervous that Ella will be there. I don't like when my friends make fun of her, but I also don't want them to make fun of me either for sticking up for her or for being her friend. I know that makes me an asshole, but I can't help the way I feel.

We decide to take a seat in one of the booths, and I hold my breath as I wait for the waitress to come to the table. Thankfully it's Jess, and everyone greets her with a smile. It irritates me that if it were Ella waiting on us they'd treat her like shit.

"I need weed." Drew sighs after we all put our orders in. "I've tried to hit Travis up like ten times but he hasn't responded."

I roll my eyes, leaning forward to put my elbows on the table. "I'm sure you'll survive."

Ella comes out of the swinging doors to the kitchen with a couple of plates in her hand, delivering them to one of her tables. When she sees all of us sitting down, the blood seems to drain from her face. I just know that she wants to run and hide right now.

"I think I might have someone for you." Rosie says to Drew, scrolling through her contacts on her phone. I'm thankful none of them have noticed her. She needs a break from them.

"Sweet." Drew smirks, copying the contact into his phone as well. "Thanks. I need some before we all chill tonight. Has anyone invited Jess yet?"

"Oh my god." Rosie sighs, putting her face into her hands. "Can you stop with her already? She's not into you, or any guys for that matter."

Drew shrugs but seems irritated, taking a second to stare down at his hands. Even if Jess weren't gay, she still wouldn't go for a guy like Drew. Jess is the only person in our group that isn't like him, Rosie, or the rest of our group. That's why I don't mind hanging around her as much, but she's still one of those people that just is way too happy all the time. I don't know how she can always keep a smile on her face.

Ella comes back out from the kitchen about ten minutes later carrying a huge tray, and since we're the only large group here I hold my breath and wait for the joking to commence. I want to be anywhere but here.

"Where's Jess?" Rosie asks her rudely. "She was our waitress."

"I know, but she got pretty busy and our boss asked me to do it." Ella says. After she sets the plates down I can tell that she's shaking. She's nervous.

"Whatever." Rosie rolls her eyes, pulling her plate towards her. "Let's just hope that you didn't eat off of these."

Drew starts to laugh, everyone else quickly joining in. "She wouldn't eat yours, Rosie. You got a salad." 

My eyes lock with Ella's for a split second, her eyes alive with humor from our inside joke. I can't help but smile, covering my mouth with my hand. Everyone else thinks I'm laughing at Drew's joke, but Ella knows the real reason.

I clear my throat and send Ella a small smile. "Hey, could I have some napkins?"

Relief seems to overcome her when she realizes I'm trying to be nice, pulling out a couple from her apron. "Sure." She smiles. "Here you go, Patrick."

"Thank you." I smile back, earning awkward glances from everyone at the table. I almost had forgotten that everyone is here, so I quickly let the smile fade as she walks back to the kitchen. I can't help it when I'm around her though. Since I've hung out with her she just seems to be the only thing stuck on my mind.

"Here you go, Patrick." Rosie mocks, letting out a snarky laugh. "God, could she be any more pathetic? She's practically begging for you."

"I think she was just being nice," I say, trying anything to get them to stop talking poorly of her. "I don't think she's flirting."

Drew grabs a napkin from me and wipes his mouth off. "Dude, she wants you. It's kind of obvious."

"Because she gave me some napkins?" I retort.

"It's just the way she looked at you. Girls have this look that they give." Drew mutters with a mouthful of food. He's acting like a total pig right now. "She had the look."

I don't want to smile, but I almost do. I'm really into Ella, and although I've caught her staring at me a few times I'm still not sure if she's actually interested in me yet. To have other people say that she looks like she is makes me feel a little bit better. Maybe she actually is into me.

"Whatever." I shrug, taking a bite of my burger.
"I'm just trying to let you know." He smirks. "Are you trying to hop on that?"

I don't want to play along with my group. I don't want to act like I'm not into her, but it seems like all I can do is just stare down at my plate and not say anything at all. This causes them all to laugh, starting to get louder with the jokes. I don't want Ella to hear.

"I'm not," I say with a smile on my face, acting as if everything is fine. "Come on, really?"

Rosie eats more of her salad, keeping her eyes glued to me as she tries to study my face. Her hair is up in this ponytail that is way too high for her, a couple of streaks of platinum blonde falling into her eyes. "Are you going to smoke with us tonight?" She asks, pushing them away.

"Probably not," I admit. "I've got a curfew."

"What kind of parents give their kid a curfew during the summer?" Drew snorts, drinking the rest of his coke.

"Mine do," I say. "It sucks, but I'm not trying to get grounded."

I don't want to say that there's a difference between black parents and white parents, but there definitely is. Drew and Rosie can get away with staying out late and ignoring their parent's phone calls. If I tried to pull anything like that I'd more than likely be grounded for eternity.

"Lame!" He yells, the entire table beginning to laugh.
After another half hour of eating, Rosie suggests that we all go swimming. I don't really feel like hanging out with them any longer, but I have no plans for the rest of the day. I don't exactly mind spending it by the ocean.

"I'll meet you guys there," I tell them, stretching my legs before I stand up. "I'm going to use the bathroom."

They all begin to pile out, leaving me alone at the booth. Ella exits the kitchen again, and when she sees me alone she walks over to me and sends me a small grin. "Hey." She says. "Thanks for being so nice to me earlier."

I don't know what to comment back to that, because I joined along with them. I was just as bad as they were. "They were being rude." I decide to say.

I analyze her uniform and cock my head to the side to check her out. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, little brown pieces flying everywhere from it being so frizzy. She's got some sweat traveling down the front of her chest, and for whatever reason, It's turning me on. This little dress certainly is a number.

Her hands go up to her hair to try and fix it once she notices me staring at her, causing me to roll my eyes. She always thinks I'm judging her.

"What are you doing after work tonight?" I ask her.

"Um, I'm actually having a skype conversation with my mom. We haven't had one since I've been down here, so I can't really cancel."

"That's fine," I say, completely understanding. "Did you drive today?"

A man calls her from the kitchen, Ella holding up a finger to him so that he'll give her a minute. "Um, no. I walked." She finally says.

"Could I walk you home tonight?"

She's staring at me in shock almost, a little grin forming on her face. I want to tell her to stop being so shy, but in all honesty, it's cute. "Why?"

"Is it a crime to walk someone home?"

"Well, no. I just don't know why you want to."

How can she honestly not realize by now that I'm into her? How can she see me trying continuously to hang out with her, only to think that I'm just trying to be friends? It's crazy to me that she can be this naive, but I'm just going to keep trying to figure out if she likes me too. She's good at hiding her feelings. I, on the other hand, am not.

"What time do you get off?" I smile, avoiding her question.

"Eight." She says.

"Okay, then I'll see you at eight."

~

By four in the afternoon, I've reached my limit with the water. My skin has that familiar burn from being out in the sun too long, and my muscles have the familiar ache from all of the swimming. It's relaxing if I can be honest though. There's just something about the beach that calms me down immediately. I don't know if it's because of the gentle sound of the waves, or if it's the way the water feels against my skin, but as I tread out of the water and onto the sand I notice that I'm a lot happier than I was earlier.

I reach for my towel and collapse down onto it, laying down on my back so I can get the last little ounce of sun there is left of today.

"You are such a jerk!" Rosie yells loudly, erupting into a fit of laughter.

I bring my hand up to shade the sun and watch as Drew splashes her with more water, her streaks of platinum blonde getting flatter from each drop. A part of me wants to laugh because it looks like she's genuinely upset that she's getting wet, but then I get reminded of earlier today and become irritated with both of them. They treated Ella like complete shit.
I wish she was here right now. I wish things were different with my friends, and I wish they were more accepting of her. Then we could be in the water together and act like Rosie and Drew are.

I know that I could just come right out and tell them all that I have feelings for her. I could just tell them that I'm into her, but then I know that they'd make my life and her life a living hell. That makes me sound like a douchebag, but I don't want my senior year to be filled with snarky remarks from them all. I just don't.

"Hey!"

Jess sets a beach bag down onto the sand and slips her sandals off, grinning down at me as she releases her hair from the ponytail that it's in. It falls into waves down her back, the sun making hints of blonde appear in her red hair. I didn't think she'd be able to meet us all here, but maybe she got off of work early.

"Hey," I reply, watching her lay her towel down next to mine. She strips down into her bikini and throws the jean shorts and tank top into her bag before she plops down next to me and pulls out the tanning lotion. "Get off early?"

"Yeah. It wasn't busy. Ella had it covered."

The thought of Ella makes me want to smile but I withhold it. I really wish that she and Jess got off early together so that she could come and hang out with me too. I know that swimming makes her feel self-conscious though because the last time we were all going to go she looked like she was going to pass out. That's part of the reason I stayed back. I wanted to make sure that she was okay.

"That was nice of her." I finally say, realizing I've just been staring out into space.

Jess puts some tanning lotion onto her hands and begins to rub her legs, pausing to give me a tiny smirk. "Yeah." She says, arching her eyebrow up. "Ella's pretty cool, right?"

"She is." I say, tight-lipped. I don't want to make it obvious that I'm into her, but with Jess, it's almost impossible to hide. I know she's not like the rest of our friends. I know that she's different.

"Hm." She smirks again, causing me to laugh. "Interesting."

"What is?" I ask.

"The two of you. There's obviously something going on there."

"Oh yeah?" I tease. "And why do you think that?"

"Let's see..." She jokingly trails off, placing a finger on her chin. "You drove her home after practice when I haven't seen you with a girl since like, I don't know, the eighth grade? You came to the shack without Drew or any of the guys, which I've never seen you do, and then you always get this look on your face when you see her. It's actually adorable."

I cover my mouth with my hand to hide my smile, but she can definitely still see it because her jaw drops open before she smacks me on the shoulder.
"Oh em gee!" She shrieks, tossing the bottle of lotion into her bag. "I'm totally right, aren't I? Have you made a move on her? Have you guys kissed yet?"

"Jess." I chuckle, shaking my head in disbelief.
"Calm down, alright? Nothing has happened yet."

Another shriek of excitement escapes her, and all I can do is laugh even more, feeling a bit of relief that it's not a negative reaction. I know for a fact if I told Drew or Rosie this then I'd be the joke of the century to them, but I know that Jess is Ella's friend, so I don't really mind if she finds out.

"Wow." She smiles, nudging me with her shoulder. "And I told her that she might not want to go for you when she first got here."

"You what?"

Jess bites down on her lip, giving me an apologetic stare. "I'm sorry! It's just that you haven't had the greatest track record with girls. It's usually just been a one-night thing for you. Now I guess I understand why."

"What do you mean by that?" I reply.

"Like, we just haven't had any bigger girls at our school, so I guess I get it now."

Rosie screams again from Drew splashing her more, and this time I know it's to try and get Jess's attention because he keeps glancing over here. Rosie seems to love the attention though because she keeps running over to him for more.

I refocus my attention on Jess. "That was a stupid thing to say," I tell her. "That's not why I'm into Ella. I mean, she's beautiful, but that's not why I'm into her. There's a lot more to her than just the way she looks."

"Well, I know..." Jess tries to explain, but eventually, she gives up and lets out a sigh before she mumbles, "Sorry. You're right. I guess I'm just trying to say that I didn't know that was your type. That's all."

"I don't have a type, Jess. I like all women. I didn't last with the girls I had sex with before because we just didn't get along that great. It wasn't because there was no attraction there. I appreciate a girl with a toned body, but I also appreciate a girl with a curvy body too."

"Huh," Jess says after about a minute, stretching out onto her towel. She doesn't say anything more, she just stares at Drew and Rosie before she turns back to look at me again. "Well, when you left your number down for her at the diner I kind of knew you were serious and felt bad about insinuating to her that you were a player before. I told her that you weren't like the other guys and that you just liked women for who they are. I totally pulled that out of my ass but, hey, it turns out that it was true. All I have to say is that you better not hurt her. I'll kill you if you do."

She's smiling as if she's joking, but I don't take it as a joke. I really and honestly do not want to hurt Ella. I feel like inside I have all of the best intentions for her, but I know that I'm no better than Christian was to her. When it comes to telling my friends how I feel I can't seem to get the words out. It's because I'm embarrassed about what they'd think, and that's a really shitty thing to comprehend. I never thought I'd be this type of person, but it seems like I am.

"Well, I probably don't have a chance with her since you told her to steer clear of me in the first place." I finally decide to say. "Hyping me up after you told her to stay away isn't exactly convincing."

She scoffs and rolls her eyes before she says, "Please, she's definitely interested."

"How do you know? Did she tell you?"

"I'm not saying anything." She smirks. "That's for you to find out."

Drew calls out for us to join him in the water, so Jess lets out a huff of annoyance before she stands up and extends her hand out for me to come with her.

"I can't," I tell her. "I've gotta go home and shower. I'm walking Ella home tonight."

She stares at me in shock for a few seconds, her face seeming to overflow with enthusiasm. "First a ride home, and now this? You guys are going to get married. I can feel it."

"Whatever Jess." I smile at her, and for the first time, I'm genuinely happy that she's a part of our friend group. She used to annoy me from the amount of happiness she carried with her every single place she went, but now I'm just relieved that I have someone who is on my side and isn't making fun of me.

"Come on!" Drew calls out, smacking the water with his hands. "What are you guys waiting for?"

"Ugh, I better go." Jess says as I stand up beside her. I bend down to pick up my towel until I hear her clear her throat, causing me to glance up. "Don't fuck this up. She's the nicest person I've ever met."

"Trust me, I'm not planning on it, but can we just keep this between us for right now? I haven't made a move on her yet, and I don't exactly want Drew and everyone to find out. You know how they'd get if they knew that-"

"I get it." She giggles, pushing me slightly with her hands. "Go home and get ready. Your girl is waiting for you."

"Thanks Jess." I tell her, gripping the towel in my hands. I'm not smiling, I'm not laughing, I'm being completely serious. "Seriously. Thank you."

~

I wait outside until she's done. It's almost eight thirty by the time she finally comes outside, giving me an annoyed glance. "I'm so sorry." She groans. "We had a rush at the last minute. I offered to stay."

"It's alright," I say. "I'm guessing work was terrible?"

"You have no idea. This customer actually tipped me two pennies, Patrick. Only two! I gave everyone really good service tonight, so for her to only tip me two pennies? Don't get me started."

As she's ranting I'm staring at her with a smile on my face, realizing how honestly into her I am. I look down at our hands as we walk and debate on leaning over to grab onto hers. I should, but I'm still not sure how she feels about me yet. I wish I did.

"That's bullshit." I agree. "What an ass."

"Right? It's so ridiculous."

She pulls some chapstick out of her purse and begins to run some over her lips. I'm too busy staring at them to hear whatever she's saying next, and when she finally cocks her head to the side I refocus my attention.

"What?" I ask. "Sorry."

"My eyes are up here." She giggles, causing me to laugh as well.

I can't do anything but smile as we continue to walk back to her grandparents, and then she asks me what my favorite book is. I'm kind of embarrassed to tell her that I don't read, but she doesn't seem to mind. When I ask her what her favorite book is she tells me that it's simply impossible for her to choose. That's too tough of a decision.

The conversation with us always seems to end in twenty questions, so then we're asking each other everything from what our worst habits are to what our greatest accomplishments have been. We both can't really think of answers to these, so instead, we just continue to walk, hearing the sound of the ocean nearby.

It's pretty dark outside, and it bothers me that she was going to walk alone if I hadn't volunteered. It's really not safe to do that here.

"Can I ask you something?" I finally say.

She glances up at me and nods for me to continue.

"Why do you want to look different?"

"What?" She opens her mouth to say something else but closes it again. I can tell she wasn't expecting me to ask that.

"When we went to Carolina beach you told me that you wanted to look like those girls do in bikinis. Why do you want to look like them? Sorry if that's too personal. I've just been thinking about it and want to know."

"Why wouldn't I want to look like them?" She retorts, tucking a loose strand of her ponytail behind her ear. "Isn't that what everyone wants to look like?"

"Well, did you ever consider that looking like everyone else can be pretty boring? How can you be unique if you look like everyone else?"

I see her contemplate what I said. She purses her lips as she's deep in thought before she looks at me again with a look I can't decipher. I haven't seen this look before.

"I guess so." She sighs in defeat. "Now I'm going to ask you a question. Why did you want to walk me home? Be honest."

We're only five minutes away, and I don't exactly want to come right out and tell her that I've been into her for weeks now. I don't want to be rejected in a matter of five minutes. I want to wait until the time is right.

"I wanted to be nice." I decide to say.

"Oh." She quickly nods her head, and I can't tell if she's disappointed or not. "Well, thanks for doing this. I appreciate it."

Her grandparent's house comes into view now, and I really don't want to have to say goodbye to her. She's too quiet, so I know that she's upset with me.
"Are you mad?" I ask.

She starts to play with the ends of her hair, diverting her eyes down to the ground. "No." She says too quickly. "I'm fine."

We're in front of the house now and we stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to say. She's biting on her thumbnail before she places it back down to her side and gives me a small smile. "Thanks for walking me home again. You're a good friend."

By the way she emphasizes friend I can tell that she's being sarcastic, so I now know the reason she's upset. Does this mean that she's into me?

"Ella," I say, grabbing onto her wrist to stop her from going. She looks down at my hand holding her wrist, glancing back at me. "Look, I don't want to be just-"

The door opens and her grandmother steps out, seeming shocked that Ella is with a boy right now. I let go of her wrist and look quickly at her, then back to her grandma.

"I have to go," Ella says. "What were you going to say?"

I'm not going to explain my feelings right here in front of her grandmother, so I just let out a sigh and shove my hands into the pockets of my shorts. This definitely isn't the right time. "Um, nothing. Can we just hang out tomorrow night?"

"Sure." She smiles.

"Is eight okay?"

"That's fine. I gotta go though. Bye Patrick."

I watch her quickly run up the porch steps before she slips inside, her grandmother sending me a long stare before she heads inside the house too. I know that I look like trouble. I'm not dressed the best, and Ella didn't exactly look the happiest out here with me. I just keep digging a bigger hole.

"Great," I mutter to myself, kicking some of the rocks in the dirt. "Nice first impression, Patrick."

A/N:

Yay for long chapters!!!

I am so excited to release the rest of the chapters to you guys!

Ella and Patrick are seriously everything 😭

Comment what you thought please and give this chapter a vote!!

Until next time :)

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