Here's the next chapter, again made by ECHO-173.

All the Louds returned for yet another episode, All of them got ready with Lori holding Lily, she was contemplating whether or not she should put her to bed so she wouldn't watch this with so much swearing but with Whis's help, she wouldn't hear anything.

Asuna: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. Sword Art Online is owned by A-1 Pictures, Aniplex USA, and Reki Kawahara. Please support the official release.

"Oh, they have disclaimers now. Neat." Said Lincoln.

The episode properly opens with an acoustic guitar playing in the background, as a montage of the events of and post Episode 1 appears on screen.

Narrator: A month had passed since that fateful day. When everyone's world got all twisted, leaving them stranded in a castle in the sky.

"A mouth? How have they not died yet, their bodies would die without eating or drinking!" Lola said disbelieving about this.

"According to the data, each player was moved to a hospital and the game does allow them to rest so their bodies wouldn't overwork each of their minds and die of exposure either."

Narrator: Since then, 2,000 poor souls came to an abrupt and tragic end.

"I'm sorry, how many?! 2,000 people are dead already just after a month?!" Lynn said in disappointment.

"Actually, it technically hasn't been a month yet, just a few days," Todd explained.

"Well, maybe they died because they bit off more than they could chew in a fight," Lincoln said to their defense.

Narrator: Some by bad luck, others by sheer stupidity. I mean, really. Why would you just stand in fire?

"Never mind, they're more stupid than the Dodo bird," said Lincoln.

"Comparing the two is an insult to the other," said Lisa.

"To the players?" Lana asked her genus sister.

"No to the bird," Lisa said as a joke with Luan giving her a high five. "And you all say I have no sense of humor."

Narrator: Anyways, that didn't bother The Kid none. He only cared about one thing, and one thing alone. Himself. 'Cuz in a game of life or death, you either live... or you die.

"No shit--" Lynn said before getting a slap to the back of her head. "OW!"

The scene transitions to Kirito leaning against a wall.

Kirito: Oh, WOW. What brilliant insight! It's so deep it loops right back around to being stupid.

"Can he talk to the narrator?" Lynn said, rubbing the back of her head.

"It is an in-game feature," Todd explained.

Narrator: The Kid ranted at no one, it slowly dawned just how alone he truly was.

Kirito: Wait, what was that?

"He said you were lonely, guess it is because of him being surrounded by idiots," Lisa explained.

Narrator: He asked the sky, like a preacher to his silent gods.

Kirito: What gods? What are you talking about?! It's all bullshit metaphors with you!

Narrator: He cried, not knowing the difference between a simile and a metaphor. The tininess of his brain dwarfed only by the tininess of his di-

Kirito: Narrator off.

"Yes, please. No one wants to hear that anymore," said Lori.

Narrator: YOU CAN SILENCE ME BUT YOU CAN'T SILENCE THE TRU-

Kirito turns the Narrator off

Kirito: Dick.

Cut to Opening.

Fade into December 2, 2022, Floor 1, Tolbana.

We see a strategy meeting lead by a player named Diabel who was all blue from his armor, hair, and eyes.

"Ooh, he looks handsome," Leni said blushing.

"His hair is blue? Why did I think all the players looked how they naturally looked in real life?" Lana questioned.

"Some players could change their hair like hair dye, it was proven when we met another player with pink hair," Todd explains.

Diabel: Hey everyone. Thank you all for coming to our little powwow. Now, I know many of you may be discouraged by the fact that 2,000 people have died so far.

Player 1: WHAT?!

Player 2: 2000 PEOPLE ARE DEAD?!

Player 3: IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A MONTH YET!

Player 4: OH MY GOD, WE REALLY ARE FUCKED!

"Yeah, you all are!" Lynn shouted.

"How did they not know?" Lori questioned until she remembered they were indeed idiots.

Diabel: And I know even more of you are a little down because we haven't even cleared the 1st Floor yet.

Player 5: WE HAVEN'T?!

Player 4: I THOUGHT WE WERE ALMOST DONE...!

"Aren't there like a hundred floors?" Leni asked.

"Give it a minute." Said Lisa.

Diabel: Uhhhh, you guys do know there are 100 Floors, right?

Crowd: WHAT?!

The Louds then facepalm themselves, they somehow see actual people who are dumber than Leni.

Diabel: Oh jeez, I am just making things worse. Point is, we found the Boss Room!

Crowd gasps

"Oh, that's good right?" Leni asked.

"If it is an easy boss, if not then they might be screwed," Lincoln answered.

Diabel: Now, we've formulated a few strategies with some help from the beta testers-

???: BETA TESTERS?!

Diabel: Oh goddammit!

A player with orange spikey jumped into the arena.

"This guy looks like a jackass," Lynn said with Lori ready to slap her sister again.

Diabel: Kibaou, what do you want?

Kibaou: Beta testers? They're the reason we're stuck in this game!

"What?" Lori said, confused.

"Is he on drugs or is he just dumber than a brick?" Luan asked.

"He really is a jackass," Lynn said as she dodged Lori's slap. "Ha!" Lynn laughed in victory before getting slapped in the face this time by Lori.

Diabel: What?! Do you have any evidence to back that up?

"Yes, please explain your reasoning for blaming people who played the game earlier than you," Lincoln said dumbfounded by Kibaou.

"According to my data, in the original series, Kibaou said the Beta testers couldn't be trusted because they hogged all the best spots for leveling up and left new players in the dust... he is dumber in this one," Todd explained.

Kibaou: Pfft! Evidence. I don't need no evidence. Isn't that right, Jesus?

"Oh my God-- He thinks Jesus is talking to him, better lock him up before he claims "he ordered him to kill"." Lincoln said as he rolled his eyes.

"Why do some people think Jesus is on their side of hate?" Lori asked.

Kibous points to a player named "Jesus".

"Oh, he... meant a player named Jesus," Lincoln said surprised along with the others.

Jesus: It's pronounced "Hey-Zeus", and I don't know you.

"Never mind, still someone should shut that guy up."

Kibaou: Well, they still should have helped us newbies!

???: If I might interject...

A big, bald, muscular black man carrying an ax on his back gets up and comes to the stage.

Kibaou: And who the hell are you?! (backs away)

"Someone who knows how to make a bitch like you back up!" Lynn said with glee.

"Lynn, I will tape your mouth shut if you don't stop," Lori said as a threat.

"Jesus, that guy is huge, is that how he looks in real life?" Lincoln asked. The other characters were of average height.

"Yes," Todd explained.

"Um, his name is pronounced "Hey-Zeus" Linky." Said Leni.

???: I am known by many names: "Mountain Slayer", "Thunder Lion", "The Chocolate Axe". But you? You may call me... "Tiffany".

"... what?" Lynn said surprised.

"Tiffany?" Lisa said, confused. "All that hype for that?"

Kibaou: T-Tiffany, huh? That's a... pretty masculine name.

Tiffany: Shouldn't be. It's a woman's name.

Lori then turned to Lincoln to ask the question on all of their minds about Tiffany. "G.I.R.L. Player?"

"G.I.R.L. Player," Lincoln answered.

Kibaou: ...Kay, I don't know how to talk to you.

Tiffany: Good. Then you can shut up and listen. (pulls out a book) Does everyone here have this book in their inventory?

Player 1: Yeah.

Player 2: Yes.

Player 3: Yup.

Player 4: Yeah.

Player 6: No... Wait, can I change my answer?

"No, you must now live in shame for not giving the right answer," Luna said as a joke.

Tiffany: This book is full of tips and strategies on how to survive this game, put together by the beta testers. Everyone read it, yet some people still died. The beta testers did everything they could.

Player 2: Actually, I didn't read it.

Player 3: Yeah, I didn't read it either.

Player 1: I skimmed it.

"No wonder everyone is dying like this, they are all stupid, everyone. Single. One of them. Them ." Said Lori.

Tiffany: What? Didn't ANY of you read it?! It is literally a matter of life and death.

Player 2: Well, dude. It's, like, 80 pages.

Tiffany: 2000 people are dead!

Crowd: THEY ARE?!

"HOW DID YOU ALL FORGET THAT!" Lori screamed in anger.

"They were told that not even five minutes ago!" Lisa said, extremely dumbfounded.

"Jesus, Goku isn't even this dumb!" Lynn screamed in annoyance.

"Guys, his name is Hey-Zeus," Leni said in defense of the player.

Brief pause. Kirito looks shocked at their stupidity.

Tiffany: I am so done with you people.

"As are all of us!" Lisa shouted.

"I honestly hope so many of them die," Lucy said coldly.

Player 2: What do you mean "you people"?

Tiffany and Kibaou take their seats as Diabel takes back control of the meeting.

Diabel: So, as Mister Thunder Chocolate was saying, this book has some great strategies, including how to beat the 1st Boss, Illfang.

Diabel clears his throat and starts reading from the guide.

Diabel: "So, as you enter the Boss Room, he's gonna throw wave after wave of disposable minions at you... and you must answer in kind."...?

Player 1 and Louds: Uh, what?

Diabel: "Send the weaker players first."

"Who made this?" Lori said in pure shock.

Diabel: "Good rule of thumb: If a player asks you for gold two seconds after meeting you, front lines."

Kibaou: Ha, serve 'em right!

Diabel: "If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines."

Kibaou: Aw, shit.

"Serves you right dude." Luna said pleased with Kibaou's fate.

Diabel: "If they ask female players for pics of their boobs, front lines."

Player 2: OH, BULLSHIT!

Player 7: THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!!!

Player 4: BOOOOOO!

"I hope they all die." Lori said in disguise towards the player. "Painfully!"

"Well considering some of them stood in fire and 2,000 players died in the first month alone, I think you'll get that wish dear sister unit." Lisa said to Lori.

Diabel: Now, now, people. I think there are some valid points being made here. Now, it goes on to say when Illfang's health goes into the red, he's going to switch from his axe and buckler to something called a "talwar". At that point we should initiate a strategy called "The Final Solution" and- I'm just gonna stop reading! Jesus, who wrote this thing?

Kirito giggles.

"Of-FUCKING-corse!" Lynn said with her sibling not even surprised.

"What is the "final solution" though?" Leni asked.

"Going by the name, I'd say it would result in the death of so many people," Lincoln answered.

Diabel: Okay, so the guide's a bust. But it'll be fine. I'll come up with a great plan for us.

Player 7: Like what?

Diabel: Well... we... could... Uh... Uhhhh... I'm open to suggestions.

Player 8: Whoa, guys, we could- we could, you know, like, group up and-

Player 9: And hit it 'til it DIES!!!

Player 8: Woo, nice!

Player 9: Yeah!

Player 8: High five!

Players 8 and 9 high five.

"These guys might die in the foreseeable future," Lincoln said with his sisters all agreeing.

Diabel: That's... a good start. But... let's hear some other suggestions.

Player 10: *German accent* I'd like to hear more about this "Final Solution".

Diabel: Fuck it, group up.

"He is so done with these people." Said Lincoln.

Kirito slides down the seats towards a girl wearing a cloak.

"Who's that?" Lincoln asked.

"According to my data, that is a female player named Asuna, a secondary protagonist in this series, This series she is an actual strong and independent female character," Todd explained with Lincoln raising his hand. "Yes, there is still some fan service with her," Todd said with Lincoln lowering his hand.

Kirito: Sooooo, why aren't you joining anyone's group?

Asuna: I have my reasons.

Kirito: Is it because you're a girl?

"Excuse me?" Lori said with the other sisters all looking angry at Kirito's comment.

"He might have meant that because some female players tend to not know how to play the game or because they fear they'll be harassed by the other players, you know some stuff like that," Lincoln explained it as an attempt to calm the sisters down.

"Not helping, dude," Luna stated.

"DPS." Lincoln followed.

"What's that, some kinda vitamin?"

Lincoln then slapped his knee and said, "I rest my case."

Asuna: No. It's because... I don't know how to play.

Kirito: Because you're a girl?

"Kirito, think of any other excuses you have!" Lincoln pleaded as the Loud sisters looked as if they were ready for war.

Asuna: NO! It's just... I don't know how to open the menu.

"Wait, what?" Lincoln said surprised.

"How has she been alive all month if she couldn't do that? The menu is where you also have items and stuff you need, right?" Luna asked with LIncoln giving a thumbs up.

Kirito: What?! But you can't do anything in this game without the menu. How have you survived all month?

Cut to Asuna holding a piece of bread. She is staring at it intensely.

Asuna: HOW DO I EAT YOU?!!!

"Just eat it like normal!" Lisa yelled in frustration.

Back to the present.

Asuna: It's... been a challenge... What about you? Why haven't you joined the others?

"Well you see, it is very simple, Kirito is what you would call a prick," Lisa explained.

Kirito: Oh, lots of reasons. Mostly because they're a bunch of mouth-breathing neckbeards who think "LMAO" is how French people laugh.

Player 3: Ha ha, that's so Le Mao!!!

Kirito shudders.

"How do people become this stupid?" Lori asked.

"If this was how everyone was in our world, I would lose all faith in humanity." Said Lisa.

"Nuke the world?" Lynn asked.

"Nuke the world, jock sister unit, nuke the world," Lisa answered while nodding her head.

Asuna: Wow. You certainly... speak from the heart.

Kirito: Funny, I thought I was speaking from my mouth. But, eh, shows what I know about biology.

"More like from your ass." Said Lynn.

Luna then added, "Maybe he's you from another world, Lynn. You have that much in common."

Asuna: No one else wanted you in their group, did they?

Kirito: Shut up! It was mutual!

"I believe it was all one-sided," Lucy said with her sisters agreeing with her.

Cuts back to Diabel.

Diabel: Alright, looks like everyone's grouped up. Get plenty of rest tonight, people! We leave at noon!

Player 2: *Groans* Noon?

Player 3: That's so early!

"Early? It is literally at noon you lazy idiots!" Luan said as she was losing her passion for these people.

Diabel: *Sighs* Alright. What about 1 o'clock?

Player 8: 1? Dude, come on!

"Are you fuckin-- I just give up with these people, they will all die even if they get out of the game I bet they'll get hit by a truck or something," Lynn said in frustration.

Diabel: *Groans* God, fine! We leave at the crack of... 2:30, I guess. Lazy butts...

Player 4: Christ, I'm gonna have to set my alarm.

Cuts to December 3, 2022, Floor 1: Illfang's Tower, 7:30 pm. Everyone's at the Boss Door and everyone except Diabel is exhausted.

"It took them five-fucking-hours to climb a tower?" Lynn said before Lori put her in a headlock.

"Lynn, watch what you say, Lily's little enhancement from Whis is only temporary, and if you keep this up you'll never stop," Lori said as a threat.

"Oh c'mon!" Lynn said before breaking free. "WE KNOW THAT! But Lily can't understand those words, right? Why does it matter? We know it is temporary but let's just get this over with it and let out what we want to say! She won't hear us!"

"She does have a point dude, We can say what we want for her and it won't affect Lily in any way," Luna said, putting her opinion on the matter.

"Yeah! Watch, Fuck, fuck, fucky-fuck, fuck! FUCK!" Lily had no reaction to Luan's words. "See, she didn't hear me say those words," Luan said with Lana laughing at her language.

Lori just sighs in defeat. "Alright, I'll forgive and overlook you all swear but after she starts hearing those words again you will all watch your language! Understand!" Lori said with everyone nodding in agreement. "Good."

"Yeah, but I still can't believe it took them that long to claim the damn tower," Lynn said in confusion.

"Plue, it couldn't have been a simple claim up, Maybe there were some parts they had to do like puzzles or it was like a maze?" Lincoln.

Diabel: Okay, so there were a few more stairs than we realized. Apparently, real-life athletic ability translates into the game. Good to know.

Player 4: *Exhausted* Oh, god. I can feel my lungs trying to kill me.

Player 3: *Exhausted* Is this sweat?!

Player 11: I peed a little.

Diabel/Lynn: Jesus, this is sad.

"Oh my God, really?" Luan said in amusement.

"Never mind, they are just out of shape," Lincoln said in disappointment.

"They really are fucked." Said Lynn.

One player vomits.

Diabel: Fuck it. Why don't you all just take a Cheetos and Mountain Dew break, and we'll reconvene in an hour.

1960s Batman-esque transition with Cheetos and Mountain Dew.

Diabel: Dammit, guys! I was kidding! You weren't actually supposed to take an hour! God, we've lost so much time.

"Jesus, they are stupid, lazy, and possibly going to die." Said Luan but before Leni could speak she continued. "I am not talking about the player Leni."

Diabel: Let's just do this already! You all know the plan!

The players enter the Boss Room, and which lights up. Illfang jumps into the center of the room and roars. Three Ruin Kobold Sentinels spawn in to protect Illfang. Two of them snarl, and an error message pops up on the third one that says "Error: "Sentinel_Shriek.wav" not found."

"Too late to patch that," Said Lincoln.

Diabel: Alright, men! Form up and-

Player 12: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!

"NO! You idiots!" Lincoln screamed in frustration.

"Someone kicked him from the party, he is going to get people killed!" said Lori.

The armies converge on each other.

Diabel: What?! No! Goddammit guys! Squad B, quit attacking the Boss and keep Sentinels off us! C and D, stop attacking from the front! Do you even know what "flank" means?! Squad F, for fuck's sake! Stop playing Bejeweled! *Groans* Squad G, get in there and help A and B!

Kirito: Got it!

Diabel: Don't talk back to... Holy shit, really?!

Kirito attacks a Sentinel, leaving Asuna to finish it off.

Kirito: Okay, Asuna! What you're gonna wanna do here is-

Asuna lets out a battle cry with a fast motion to strike the Sentinel and kills the monster in one hit.

"Whoa, she killed it in one hit!" Lynn said impressed.

"Talk about skills, she must fight in real life?" Lincoln said as a thought.

"She is talented as a rapier. Maybe she can see weak points as a skill in the game and strike them for more damage?" Lisa said as a theory.

Kirito (Thinking): Wow, I thought she was hopeless, but her technique is flawless. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was even better than I-

Asuna: Hey Kirito! I killed the thing and now it says I have XPs! Is that bad? Am I dying?!

"NOOB!" Lana said as a joke.

Kirito (Thinking): Or... maybe... not.

Illfang's health drops into the red. He snarls at the players and he tosses his weapons.

"Alright, the boss is almost dead, That means a second phase boss fight and then they'll win!" Lynn said understanding that about gaming.

"Yeap, now they need to attack him as he draws his talwar and then they're home free to the next floor," Lincoln said to his sisters.

Diabel: Alright, men! This last part's gonna take careful coordination... which is why I'm just gonna do it myself!

"Smart choice really." Said Lisa.

Diabel charges for his weapon art. Illfang draws his secondary weapon, only it isn't a talwar, it was a nodachi.

Lincoln saw the weapon and knew what it was. "Wait, that's not a talwar! That's a Nodachi!"

"A wait?" Lori asked.

"An Nodachi is a longer blade!"

"Lincoln is correct, and most weapons in Sword Art Online tend to do more damage if they have a longer reach," Todd explained.

"Oh shit, then the information they got was wrong?" Said Lynn.

"DIABEL, GET OUT OF THERE!" Lana shouted as she didn't want a character like him to die.

Kirito: Oh shit! Diabel, look out! That's not a talwar! It's a nodachi!

Diabel: What's the difference?!

Kirito: Well, a talwar is of Indian descent while a nodachi is Japanese! While both are primarily slashing weapons, the talwar was favored by cavalrymen, as opposed to a nodachi which was mainly used for dick measuring!

"Gross, also GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!" Lori said frustrated.

"Whoa, didn't expect you to swear so early," Lynn said surprised.

As Kirito is talking, Illfang starts jumping off the walls.

"How does a fat like Illfang move around so quickly?" Lynn said surprised.

"It is a game, logic is an illusion," Lincoln answered.

Diabel: What's your point?!

"Get to the point!" Lori screamed.

Kirito: Well, if you let me finish, I was getting to that! You see...

Diabel gets hit by Illfang, screaming in pain.

Kirito: Oops.

"He dies and it is on you Kirito," Luan said with her siblings all agreeing.

Illfang hits Diabel again, sending him flying.

Kibaou: DIABEL!!!

Illfang pops down in front of Kibaou and roars. Message pops up "Bonus Item: Soiled Pants".

Player 4: Hey, rare drop!

"Gross!" All the Loud siblings said in unison.

Kirito runs over to Diabel.

Kirito: I was trying to say a nodachi a little bit longer than a talwar, so it'll have more reach and do a bit more damage.

Diabel: *Weakly* And why couldn't you say that first?

Kirito: I like to think of myself as a teacher.

"A rather shitty one." Said Luna.

Kirito: Anyway, drink this.

Kirito tries to give Diabel a Healing Potion, but he pushes it away.

"What is he doing?" Luan said in confusion.

"Giving up on life and away from these people?" Lynn answered.

Diabel: No. It's better this way. I just can't do it anymore. I had such high hopes at first. But now? Our best player is a girl who thinks DPS is some kind of sex thing.

The Loud sibling turned to Lincoln who knew about what they meant. "Damage Per Second."

Kirito: I know. It's weird, right?

Diabel: You're clearly not like the rest of them. How do you stand it, Kirito? Where do you draw your strength?

Kirito: I've been playing MMO's a long time, Diabel, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. Just take that little voice in your head that tells you to be tactful and understanding... and shoot it. Shoot it in the goddamn face.

"That's... not healthy advice... rather toxic..." said Lincoln.

Diabel: You are so wise. If only I'd met you sooner. Perhaps, things would have been different. You must lead them now. Show them this game can be beaten.

Kirito: In another life... in another time... I think we could have been friends.

Diabel: I... doubt it.

Diabel dies.

"NOOOOO!" yelled some of the Louds.

"I mean, I understand the last part." Said Lincoln.

"Yeah, that's true." Said Lynn.

Kirito: Well, fuck you too!

Asuna slips in by Kirito's side.

Asuna: Alright, Kirito. Here's what we'll do. One counters his blows to knock him off balance and the other switches in to attack. Rinse. Repeat. Victory.

Kirito: You came up with that, but you can't open a menu.

"She has skills and then there are her skill issues..." Lynn said a little disappointed.

Illfang roars and they take off running toward him.

Kirito: Alright, so you counter and I'll attack!

Asuna: What? No, it's my plan! I should attack!

"They didn't agree on this plan completely." Said Luna.

Kirito: Fine, just get ready!

Kirito makes a battle cry and counters Illfang's attack.

Kirito: SWITCH!

Asuna moves in and gets her cloak destroyed by Illfang before attacking. Her figure was revealed to be a beautiful young lady with long orange hair.

"Whoa, she's beautiful!" Leni and Lola said in union.

"Hot... I mean... don't tell Sam." Luna said before pleading to her sibling.

"We won't tell her." Said Lori.

"I might." Said Lynn

Kirito: See? You almost got yourself killed! I'll attack him!

Asuna: Oh, that was a fluke, and you know it! He's mine!

Asuna attacks Illgang.

Kirito: He's mine!

Kirito blocks Illfang's next attack, but Asuna attacks him before Kirito can do so himself.

Asuna: Mine!

Kirito: NO! HE'S! MIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!

Kirito slices Illfang and he explodes. Everyone is stunned. Lame party kazoo sound effect and a banner with the word "CONGRATULATION" appears.

"Sweet, they did it!" Lana said in celebration.

"Diabel has been avenged!" said Luan.

"That's the first floor cleared and it only took them over 2,000 players to die... oh, they are so fucked." Said Lynn.

Player 13: Yeah!

Kirito is panting. He gets an item as a reward for defeating the Boss.

Tiffany: Congratulations! That was even more impressive than that cat that learned to play.

Cut to a player with a cat's head, with another player staring at it. The cat meows.

Oh, that poor cat... wait why is a cat playing?" Said Lana as she was confused.

Player 14: Oh my god! You guys can see it too?! So, I'm not crazy! Isn't that great, Jesus?!

"His name is Hey-Zues!" Lori said frustrated.

We see things from the player's perspective, with a giant hallucination of Jesus Christ looming over the crowd.

"What the heck! He can see Jesus!" Lori said in disbelief. "He's crazy?"

"Probably?" Said Lisa.

Jesus: That's right, Jeffrey. Now... kill them all.

Jeffrey: *Whispering* As you command, my Lord.

"He is crazy." Said Lisa.

Cut back to Tiffany talking to Kirito. The other players are applauding his victory.

Tiffany: You've led us to victory, Kirito. These men and I will follow you to hell itself. Now... address your people.

Lincoln cringed at that idea for many reasons. "Um... Tiffany, maybe that isn't such a good idea."

"Yeah, bad plan, bad PLAN!" Luan said as she understood what Lincoln was talking about.

Kirito gets up.

Kirito: I always knew this day would come. Ahem. Fellow gamers! We have traveled far and up many stairs to get to this point. Fighting side by side, noobs and leets, alike. I'd like to take a moment to say that I couldn't have done it without the help of each and every one of you.

"Oh, well this is turning out better than I thought at first," Luan said surprised.

"Give it a minute." Said Lisa.

Tiffany: Aw, that's a nice thing to say-

Kirito: Of course, I'm not a liar, so I'm not gonna say any of that.

Tiffany: Ohhhhh shit.

"Oh shit, this is now turning exactly like how I thought this would be." Said Luan.

Kirito: I mean, really. I could've done this whole Boss Fight myself. But to be fair, I guess you did absorb a bit of damage for me, which was nice. You were an adequate meat shield, and no one can ever take that away from you.

Tiffany: Fuck. Fuck! Shut up! SHUT UP!

"Too late Tiff, too late." Said Lisa.

Kirito: So, for those of you who came in late, and that one guy playing Bejeweled back there... shoot for the stars... it'll make it more fun when I kick you back into the dirt.

Kibaou: You're not better than us!

"He's better than you." Said Lincoln.

Kirito equips the coat he got for beating Illfang.

Kirito: My sweet-ass coat begs to differ.

Player 3: Dammit, he's got us there.

"I mean it is some sick drip, but I don't think he will be a good fit for future fights." Said Lincoln.

Kirito ascends the stairs out of the Boss Room. Asuna follows him.

Asuna: Kirito, wait!

Dramatic pause.

Asuna: I want half.

"What?" most of the Louds said confused.

Kirito: I'm... sorry. What?!

Asuna: I want half the coat. I did half the work, I should get half the coat.

Kirito: No! It's not fabric I can cut! It's a bunch of 1s and 0s!

Asuna: Fine, then give me the 1s.

"That's not how it works," Lisa said, rubbing her temples as she actually knows how coding works.

Kirito: Fuck you! I want the 1s! *Groans* I am not having this argument. I'm dissolving this party.

Kirito opens his menu and "Dissolves" their party.

Asuna: Kirito! If you walk away with my half-coat, I will make your life a living hell!

"Do it anyway, he deserves it for being an asshole 99% of the time." Said Lynn.

Kirito: You know what? Fine! I'll give you the damn coat! Just send me a trade request.

Asuna: A... what?

Kirito: Oh, it's quite simple really... Just open your menu.

"Wait but she doesn't know how to-- OOOOOOOH! That clever sonuva Bitch!" Luan said understanding what he was planning.

Kirito starts laughing his ass off as he walks out the doors.

Asuna: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

Outro Plays.

"Well a good man died, Kirito is now a solo player, and they have more bosses to fight, but it can't get worse, right?" Lincoln asked before they turned back to the screen.

A creepy rendition of "Jesus Loves Me" plays as the logo of Laughing Coffin appears through a thick layer of fog.

"...WHAT THE FUCK?!" Said the siblings as they were either confused or creeped out.

"What was that?" Lincoln asked.

"That was the symbol of Laughing Coffin, a guild of SAO, they are known as a murder guild that kills people," Todd explained.

"Jesus, I guess people would go crazy in a game where they could kill people and get away with it." Said Lincoln as he was a little horrified by this fact.

"Well, it was an okay episode, too bad that an actual intelligent player had to die but he, at least, things could be worse for everyone," Lori said before she and the others started to take a short break before they watch the next episode.

That's it for this chapter. Bye!