Lincoln: So...I hear small rumors in the next Loud Ops arc that a Secret War is coming-

*Departure ringtone plays in the background*

Lincoln: Is that you?

Blue Eyes Maggie: (self titled mascot for shameless trailer plugs) I don't own a phone...not a smart one anyways.

Lincoln: It's coming from out there!

Grey Golemite: *shoves them both out of the way, to stare deep at the audience*. Hey, Bub, bros, whatever!  This is a fanfic, not some "self love" room in your mothership and or basement! (Here, her Midwestern accent with slight valley girl tone flares up) So, put your phone on like, silent or I'm gonna shove that into your back door so hard, you're gonna have to answer it through your duodenal tract!

Lincoln:Woah...ease back on the anime teeth, Grey!  Sorry, Omega.  I figured we're going way too far for a parody trailer! So, what she's TRYING to say is...please silence your phones during the movie. We don't need another... "Turn off the flash you f**king moron" incident!

Lincoln: Soo...what are you doing later?

Blue Eyes Maggie: Eh...just doing the usual...I'm trying to figure out how to restyle my hair.  It's a bit...timey-wimey! I wanna test out new styles! *sad eyes*

(Part 2 coming soon)