Stevie approached the room and looked inside, just to be overwhelmed by how sterile the interior was. A white bed with white sheets on one end, white shelves and a white desk on the other, all surrounded by empty white walls. In the middle of the room, a snow-white piano, at it, sitting a girl with clothes just as colorless. The room's monotony made the girl's raven hair stand out, almost like the source of light in this space.

The blonde girl, who was wearing clothes totally unfitting her surroundings, waited in the threshold. Stevie was listening to the soothing tunes that were playing as the pianist's fingers danced over the keys, stunned by the pressure this girl gave off simply from making music. Not only the girl's head was swaying left and right in the music's rhythm, but her whole body was also reacting to the tunes she herself was playing.

When the song ended a few moments later and the piano stopped emitting its pleasant sounds, Stevie made a hesitant step closer. Only now the pianist noticed the blonde's presence and turned around, her light eyes curiously looking at the stranger. The girl's posture and elegance while playing had Stevie expecting a face that fit the intensity she gave off seconds ago, so she was taken aback by the softness of the face that was looking at her. 

Stevie had stared at the girl for a few moments longer than she had wanted to, with the only thought on her mind being that she was looking at an overly adorable girl. Her head was round with closely set eyes, her brows naturally thin. Her cheekbones were hidden behind slightly chubby cheeks with a small nose and a tiny mouth separating them. There was a small white clip in her hair, holding the long strands from falling in front of her face while playing. The small ears that were sticking out slightly showed holes for earrings, while no suiting jewelry was stuck in place.

After an uncomfortable silence, the blonde stepped closer to her new tutor and greeted, "Hey there, I'm Stevie. I was told to come here for piano lessons."

At first, the girl showed no reaction to the introduction and was just staring at Stevie, who was genuinely friendly for a change. Then her lips formed a smile and she got up from her seat, lifting her arms in the air to stretch from sitting for a long while.

Unwillingly, Stevie's eyes drifted from the girl's face to her body, as various parts moved from the long stretch. Before she could even question her own eyes' actions, she was surprised by the girl taking a flexible magnetic whiteboard from her desk. Instead of returning the greetings and introducing herself properly, she started writing on the board. For a short moment, the room fell silent, except for the scratching noise of the pen. Bewildered by what was going on, Stevie was presented the short text which was written for her in aesthetically rounded letters. [Hello, I'm Xenja. Nice to meet you. I hope we get along well.]

Waiting a few silent moments, she made sure that Stevie had read the message and cleaned the board before writing again. [You might have heard about my selective mutism. I sadly can't talk, but I'll try my best to teach you.]

Once again she cleaned the board and started writing, testing Stevie's non-existent patience. The truculent girl was getting annoyed by this situation which felt like a bad joke to her. [First, sit at the piano with me, I'll show you what to do.]

Xenja went back to the piano but Stevie didn't follow her. She had been excited about piano lessons and had wanted to take them for so long, and now that she finally had the chance, her teacher was a mute. The thought of simply going back home came to her mind, but she couldn't. Not yet.

Besides her want to play the piano, Xenja's questioning face from Stevie not following her also kept the blonde in place and made her walk over to the seat. She sat down next to the short girl, shifting slightly when their shoulders and hips touched and waited for instructions that didn't come.

Instead, Xenja seemed interested in the small silver cross dangled from her pupil's wrist. After considering something, she started rummaging through her music sheets. It didn't take long for her to find whatever she was looking for and put it on the holder. Stevie watched as Xenja put her right hand on the piano, seemingly waiting for her student to mimic that. Although annoyed from not getting proper instructions, Stevie tried imitating Xenja's starting pose for the song "Hallelujah."

Although she was sure that her hand was positioned exactly the same, Xenja shook her head and lifted her fingers. She moved even closer to the second girl, touching Stevie's fingertips with her own before shifting them slightly.

Stevie felt a warm sensation spread from where Xenja's pale skin touched hers, and almost felt disappointed when their hands parted. Surprisingly, she also felt a slight trembling of the hand that had guided hers, making her noticed that Xenja's body was shaking. Stevie didn't think too much into it, had Xenja only been wearing shorts and a thin top, possibly not warm enough for her rather cool room.

Once both girls' fingers were placed on the keys the same way, Xenja used her left hand to point at the sheet, before playing a note. Expectingly her gaze shifted from the sheet to Stevie who got the hint and copied her.

The green-eyed girl gave her a wide smile before pointing at the next note and once again pressing a key.

This went on for a while, with the tutor showing what to play and the student mimicking it. But unlike Xenja, whose smile proved that she was getting more and more excited from playing, Stevie was getting annoyed. Once playing single notes turned into playing a series of three notes at a time, the girl started to struggle. 

Whenever she started playing, her mind went blank and she couldn't remember which key to press next. Although that was normal for someone without any practice, it was damaging Stevie's confidence - playing the piano turned out way more complicated than she expected.

As the problem of her teacher being a mute still existed, Stevie's conceited self pushed the blame on Xenja, her anger rising. 

[You don't have to remember the order of the keys, just how the keys sound. Try closing your eyes and just listen to what you play.] is what Xenja instructed and Stevie followed, but without success.

After another failed attempt Stevie asked, "How should I know what to play when I'm not looking at the keys?" 

[When you listen to how the keys sound, you'll hear which note you should play next. With some practice your fingers will know.] Xenja wrote down another instruction that wasn't more than a riddle to Stevie, who couldn't take this anymore.

She kept trying over and over but couldn't get it right, so after having to wait for another written explanation, she snapped and yelled, "How the hell am I supposed to learn anything like this? I wanted to take piano lessons for so long and now my teacher is a fucking mute... this just can't work. Learn to talk if you want to teach someone!"

Stevie rushed out of the room, looking back once to see Xenja's hanging head. She put on her jacket and shoes before running out, trying to ignore the tears she saw building in her tutor's eyes.

The whole way down the stairs, Xenja's face was stuck on Stevie's mind. Not the hurt and teary one, but the one where she genuinely smiled at her with those green eyes shining from the enjoyment of playing the piano, shining from being able to share that moment with someone else. 

A few steps after getting outside she turned around, looking at the building once more. Even if just for a moment, somewhere behind the conceited shell, Stevie felt regret. But going back in wasn't an option, that's what she told herself. Torn apart on the inside, she went home.

She kept walking through the snow, looking at all those footprints on the ground. Not truly noticing all those people walking around her, the cars driving by, the sound of the busy road she was walking on. Her thoughts were wreaking havoc in her head, making her unable to process what had happened just a few moments away. She felt bad, a stinging sensation in her chest, kind of new for Stevie. Normally, she wouldn't hesitate and forget - or not even remember to begin with - the people she hurt. 

And the worst thing was she didn't know why. Stevie was used to being harsh and speaking her mind, and to people leaving her alone because of that. So why did she keep on thinking back to how Xenja was elegantly sitting at the piano and how happy she looked when Stevie introduced herself?

Before she even noticed, she had arrived at her apartment building again. The dirty walls and broken windows proved that.

Upon entering the warm inside, she recalled the moment she entered Xenja's room. The image of her body's curves as she stretched came to her mind and wouldn't let it go.

"I was just surprised to see someone wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top in the middle of December, that's all..." she spoke under her breath, trying to convince herself that she wasn't looking at that girl with any other intent than pure curiosity - even when her lower body was telling her otherwise.

Stevie ran upstairs and home, ignoring her grandma completely when she asked why she was back already. She rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, angry at herself, even if she didn't realize it. Needing to calm herself, she decided to take a bath and relax, in hopes of getting rid of the anger and the needing sensation that her lower body was giving off.

It didn't take long and she was lying in the bathtub, fully wrapped in the warmth of the water, trying to get her mind off Xenja. Her thoughts, on the other hand, were stuck on that girl the more she was trying to force her to disappear.

Not her smile, nor her teary eyes.

No, now it was her body that was moving and dancing inside Stevie's head. She tried to ignore it, deny it even. It was no use anymore. She had noticed weeks or even months ago already, but this made it clear. How she was looking at girls, longing for them, sinning.

Now, she couldn't hold back anymore. Almost on their own, her hands started caressing herself underwater, her mind thinking back to when Xenja's finger touched hers, imagining how it would feel if those hands were the ones moving at her lower body.

It was a cold December evening when Stevie was crying in the bathtub, repeating the words "I'm sorry" as her hand, with the silver cross still on the wrist, couldn't stop moving at the thought of another woman's body. It was this very moment when she admitted it to herself. She was a lesbian.