AN: Um, I miiiiight have breached the teen rating here? Please let me know, I can't tell...=/

~

William didn't think he'd ever been so stunned before.

He watched Lucas for a long, long time, eyes wide as the other boy sat still, jaw set stubbornly.

After a minute under William's gaze, he shifted, crossed his arms and raised a challenging brow at William, where he was still standing with his jaw slack.

Finally, William managed to shut his mouth. He took two steps until he was standing in front of Lucas, close enough to feel the heat off his thighs.

Lucas swallowed visibly but didn't look away.

"Well?" he asked.

William opened his mouth to speak but no words came to him. Instead, he dropped down to sit next to Lucas on the bed.

Startled, Lucas dropped his stubborn position. He slumped, his hazel eyes glued to William's.

"What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously. There was an edge of hopefulness though, that made William's stomach twist.

"Nothing," he said, defeated.

"Nothing--" Lucas repeated blankly.

William nodded. He felt like he was thinking through a haze. His thoughts were such a whirlwind... Of course, it didn't help that he hadn't slept in days.

Either way, he'd thought this thing with Lucas was over. He'd been so sure. He had accepted it. And now...

William looked at Lucas, allowing himself a moment to really be honest; he wanted to be selfish, no matter how much worse it would make it later.

"You really don't mind?" he asked carefully. "Just having two days?"

Lucas blinked and finally looked away. His gaze glued to his lap and he shrugged.

"I don't want you to push me away," he said.

William didn't think he'd ever seen the other boy so serious. He had done that to him.

Flushing with guilt, William reached out tentatively.

Lucas gripped his hand back without hesitation, eyes flying to William's with the strength of will that he so appreciated about the other boy.

Perhaps he should have known that Lucas wouldn't give in so easily. That was part of what he liked about him. He always pushed for what he wanted, the way William never did.

And even though it scared William, that he might fall even harder and miss Lucas even more, he leaned forward, taking what he wanted.

Lucas' breath left him in a relieved sigh as their lips met. His fingers clenched around William's, his other hand gripped roughly into William's hair and he realized with a swell of emotions that it would be just as hard for Lucas to let him go.

Lucas moaned against William's lips, fingers digging into his skin as he pulled him closer and William went without struggle, heart aching with the desperation if it as Lucas pushed him down, falling on top of him.

"I thought you'd never kiss me again," Lucas breathed.

His hands slid to William's cheeks and he kissed him again.

It was the same as last time; this eager abandon that only Lucas could be capable of.

This time, William did his best to return it.

He pushed his fingers into Lucas' thick hair, pulling him so close that teeth bruised lips, and rolled his hips until Lucas was gasping against him.

This time, he didn't care about all of the things that had made his mind race last time. 

And although he did want Lucas to like what they were doing, he wasn't thinking about that when his teeth sank into soft lips and fingers dug into his soft skin. For once, William's brain wasn't involved half as much as his desire.

He wanted to claim Lucas, take so much from him that it would go with him, everywhere he went, always a part of him.

It didn't make any sense, not logically, but William didn't care.

He tore at the fabric between them, popped buttons and heard ripping but didn't stop until they were both clamped in his hand, almost too tight.

Lucas' hands fisted into his hair and he was gasping and moaning in a way that was too close to sounding like pain.

William should have stopped, he knew that but he was too feverish with want and his body had taken over and then Lucas' hips bucked into William's fist with a grunt and he could do nothing but follow through, breathing in the coconut smell of Lucas' shampoo as he did.

They lay there, chests heaving against each other's until finally, William pulled his hand away.

"Ow," Lucas muttered and William came crashing back down to reality with a rush of guilt.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Lucas rubbed a hand through his hair roughly and gave William a look.

"It's fine," he said. "Just different. You're usually so soft--I mean--not saying you can't get it up."

He bit his lip and glanced down pointedly at William's waning erection.

Cheeks heating, William hastily tucked it away.

When he looked at Lucas again, a warm smile was playing on his lips.

He reached out, tracing a finger along the edge of William's arm until his hairs all stood on end.

"You're usually so gentle with me," he said. "And nice..."

There was an edge of worry to his voice and a question barely concealed that William didn't know how to answer.

"I thought," he finally choked. "That I would never get to touch you again."

Lucas' gaze softened.

"All you had to do was ask," he said.

Lucas looked away, worrying his bottom lip with teeth that had just been scraping William's skin.

"So does that mean you don't mind if I stay here?" he asked tentatively. 

The only way William could find to answer was to lean in and kiss Lucas again, softly this time, and when he pulled back, Lucas smiled, the ever-present glint, back in his eyes.

"Oh good," he said, grinning.

He pushed himself up, looking around William's room with new focus. 

"When do you think your mom will be home?" Lucas asked absently.

"Why?" William asked. Was he wanting a second round already?

"Oh, I'm just kind of hungry, that's all."

William couldn't help laughing.

"You know my mom isn't just my personal chef, right?"

Lucas shrugged.

"There's probably food in the fridge," William said with a sigh.

Lucas lit up like a Christmas tree.

Five minutes later, they were seated at the kitchen counter with an array of leftovers spread out in front of them.

William found himself surprisingly hungry. After days locked in his room with Lucas on his mind, he actually couldn't remember the last full meal he'd eaten.

Lucas ate as though he felt the same way and with a sinking feeling, William realized that it very well could be true. He didn't want to remember the empty cupboards and cold rooms of Lucas' condo but they slid to the front of his mind and stayed there. 

William subtly slid more food onto Lucas' plate.

And that was how his mother found them, an hour later, with empty dishes spread out on the counter, the tub of chocolate ice cream now opened in front of them with sticky spoons in each hand.

Her eyes widened at the sight.

"Luke," she said warmly. "I see you found you way over."

Lucas smiled at her brightly, oblivious to the chocolate on the corner of his lips.

William glanced back at his mother who was watching him with a knowing look and he had to look away. Focusing on another spoon of cold ice cream as he tried to contain the sudden swell of emotions in him.

He swallowed down the spoonful, narrowly missing brain freeze.

"Is it okay if he stays until I leave?" he asked without looking up.

His voice sounded heavy and he cleared his throat.

"Of course," his mother said.

She came forward and placed a hand on each of their heads, ruffling them both at the same time.

William ducked out of the way but Lucas just laughed. He nudged William with his shoulder and a mischievous smile, not seeming to mind at all, the way his hair was sticking up all over the place.

"I told you your mom wouldn't mind," he said and leaned over further, giving William an ice cream flavoured kiss that made his insides melt.

They spent the evening all together, watching movies and eating popcorn. When they went to bed, Lucas climbed on top of him and pushed his shirt up and promised his mom wouldn't hear.

He slept properly for the first time in ages and woke up filled with nervous energy and a sense of gloom that was hard to shake, even when they spent the day out, walking in the park with hot chocolates and then at the mall, hand-in-hand the whole while.

They laughed more than was probably necessary and kissed even more. Every time there was a pause long enough, Lucas would fill it. 

And now, as evening fell, William was starting to get use to the feel of Lucas against him, the way the brown and green of his eyes looked from so up close, the way his palm felt in his own.

"Where are you?" his mom asked over dinner.

Drawn out of his thoughts by the question, William looked up at his mother. 

She was sitting across from him, eyes boring into his. Lucas was watching him too and William realized that they were probably trying to talk to him while he was so distracted.

"You're not gone yet, you know," his mother said. "There's still tonight."

William felt his cheeks heating and glanced at Lucas. He was biting his lip, brows drawn low and again, William was aware that he was the cause of the other boy's worry.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just going to miss you guys, that's all."

His voice broke on the words and he felt his cheeks heat even more.

"It may only be fore a few days, but choosing not to cut yourself off from your own life, William, that means a lot. I'm so proud of you."

William shut his eyes against the sting of tears that threatened and felt a hand find his under the table.

He gripped Lucas' hand like a life line and looked at the other boy.

Lucas' own eyes had a glassy sheen that comforted William the smallest bit, if only because at least he didn't feel as alone in this.

"Besides, it's only for a few months," his mother went on. "You'll be back in what, August?" 

William laughed bitterly.

"Yeah," he said. "For like three days and then back I go."

"She's right though, William," Lucas said quietly. "You're here now. We all are."

It was like a light went on inside William. They were right. Both of them were right, about everything. Instead of taking things for what they were, William had spent so much time regretting and hiding and wondering what if. 

Right now, they were all together.

Here he was, spending their last night wondering how the next four months were going to be. When in reality, he knew the next four months would be spent replaying these moments. 

It was a strangely simple thought; instead of fearing the future, live the present.

Maybe he'd never been good at making the best of the moment. He always planned things and always thought things through. Maybe that was why it was always harder for him. Maybe that's why Lucas was so alluring to him. He was someone who did what he felt. He was always authentic to himself and maybe that made things harder for Lucas a way, but it also freed him. 

William had always thought Lucas was amazing, but he'd never realized how much there was to learn from him.

He squeezed Lucas' hand a little bit tighter and let out a breath.

"Okay," he said simply. "So what are you going to do while I'm gone?"

His mother smiled at him.

"Well, with no one here to supervise, I was planning on throwing some epic parties."

Lucas laughed at the pathetic attempt at a joke and William couldn't help joining in.

"Epic," Lucas repeated. "Does anyone say epic anymore?"

William shrugged while his mother let out a groan.

"No," she complained. "I just figured out how you kids use that word, don't tell me it's not hip any more."

"Oh my god, Mom, stop trying. Please."

Lucas patted him sympathetically.

"Don't worry," he said. "My mom still says snazzy."

Laughter came surprisingly easily after that. They stayed at the table talking long into the night. Tea was made and then scones emerged once they had enough room in their stomachs for more. 

Finally, with a regretful sigh his mother pushed to her feet.

"Okay," she said. "I think its time for me to hit the hay."

She looked at William and despite all of her tough talk, tears swiftly filled her eyes.

"I'll be at the shop by the time you're up in the morning," she said with a wavering voice. "Don't miss your train, okay?"

She turned to Lucas.

"You'll make sure he catches it, right?"

"I promise," Lucas swore promptly.

It struck William that they felt he was the one in need of help and protection out of this room and again he was overwhelmed with the need to do better, try harder to take care of himself and stop them from worrying.

He stood up, took his mother in the big hug that she was clearly wanting. She didn't let go of him for a long time. Her small frame trembled, but her arms were surprisingly strong and she clung to him until she could pull herself together.

When she did, both hands went to his cheeks.

"I'm going to miss you too," she said, voice shaking. "But this will be so good for you."

William nodded.

He couldn't find his voice until she was half way down the hall.

"Goodnight mom," he said.

His voice came out so small that he wasn't sure she heard it, but she turned back with a small smile.

"Goodnight baby."

William tried to keep it together but tears came before she even shut the door behind her.

Two arms came around him the second she was gone.

William held Lucas' arms in place, leaned back into him, grateful for the literal support and warmth. How did he ever end up so lucky?

"Do you want to go to bed?" Lucas asked into his hair, voice worried.

William shook his head.

"No," he said. He didn't want the night to end yet. "Let's go for a walk."

Lucas nodded and kissed his neck and held onto him for another minute before he let him go.

Five minutes later, they were walking the dark street with no destination in mind, shoulders touching and hands clasped.

They spoke about classes and William's new school and eventually fell into silence. 

At some point they ended up back home but William still wasn't ready, so they laid in the grass in the backyard, close enough to keep each other warm in the chill of the early April night.

Lucas surprisingly knew a lot of constellations and he pointed out the ones he could find until they were too cold to stay there any longer.

His bed was a welcome warmth after that, Lucas' warm body held tightly in his arms was even better.

When William woke, it was to a soft kiss on the lips, then one on the cheek, then the forehead. 

When he finally opened his eyes, Lucas was leaning over him, watching him closely.

"Time to get up, or you'll miss your train," he said.

William didn't want to hear that. He wished they had managed to stay up all night. He wished he didn't have to go.

Instead of clinging to those thoughts the way he wanted to though, William took a deep breath, let it out and slipped his hand into Lucas' soft, messy hair, pulling him into another kiss.

Lucas smiled against his lips.

"Come on," he said, nudging him. "I promised your mom."

William sighed and stood up.

They didn't talk as they got ready or as he put the last of his belongings into his luggage.

Lucas was browsing his ASL book while he finished and William's eyes landed on a book he hadn't been planning on taking. In fact, he'd considered throwing it in the trash the second he realized that he was never going back to their school, but at the last minute, he stuck it into his bag.

"This doesn't look that hard, " Lucas said flipping through the pages.

He smiled at William but it was dull at the edges.

"Maybe you'll be back sooner than you think."

"Maybe," William agreed.

Lucas looked him up and down, taking in his jacket and shoes, the back pack on his back and luggage sitting next to him.

"I guess you're ready to go," he said.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready."

Lucas swallowed.

"Come on," he said.

 He slung William's bag over his shoulder and William took the rest, following Lucas through the door.

~

AN: So this was the longest gap I've taken between updating. I feel like I need to apologize but at the same time thank you guys for sticking with the story. I know its hard to remember sometimes that there is a person behind the story. I am definitely guilty of that at times. But I just have to say I found this chapter really hard to write. First, there is the whole saying goodbye aspect which just really upsets me in general. Also, ever since losing my own mother I have a habit of sticking good mom's into stories, probably because I miss her so much. Having them say goodbye was just really hard for me, even though its a short scene, a lighthearted book and its not for forever. I just was swamped with emotions and spent a lot of time crying and trying to keep writing but it wasn't easy. Sorry for the delay. I really appreciate all the votes and comments though. You guys really make me smile everyday. I can't believe almost 30 000 people have read this. Ugh! now I'm going to cry again. Thank you guys so much <3