Fun fact from your author! Did you know that when you hear a ringing in our ears that is the sound of a cilia dying and you will NEVER hear that particular tone again. :O

~

William remembered when it first happened.

He'd opened his eyes in the morning, just like always and laid in bed, not moving.

It was such a quiet morning...

Today, unlike any other day, William awoke with his arms twined around someone. His face was tucked into Lucas' soft hair and he knew he could breathe him in all day if he wanted to. The other boy was warm in William's arms and the warmth spread all the way into his chest in a way that made him think he could never feel cold again.

But like everything so far in William's life, a harsh reality was there screaming at him to take notice.

And once William did, it was a wonder that he had managed to ignore it at all.

In fact, the insistent ringing in his ear was probably what woke him. It was there, high and relentless and loud.

It drowned out anything and everything and as William lay there with Lucas in his arms, panic began to fill him.

He could feel it in his body before his mind took any notice; his shoulders tensed. His arms, wrapped around soft naked skin in an embrace, turned into manacles, slowly tightening until Lucas noticed, even deep in sleep.

He shifted and frowned and William realized what he was doing and consciously loosened his hold.

And if Lucas made any noise to accompany the pout on his face, William didn't hear it.

He didn't and he couldn't. Not a thing. Not the shift of the mattress or his own rapid breathing, just the continued, unending ringing.

His heart was beating so hard he could feel it slamming into his ribs, obstructing his air.

The walls were closing in around him and any moment now, Lucas would roll over, open those rich brown eyes and say something clumsy and sweet and William wouldn't hear it.

He wouldn't hear his voice.

William thought he might puke.

He couldn't breathe.

As deftly as he could, William slid his arms free, cringing inwardly when Lucas immediately rolled against him again.

He looked at Lucas, his face so peaceful and open. He wanted to kiss him at the same time that he wanted to run.

But then Lucas' eyes flickered and the decision was made.

William was out of bed so fast the blanket barely settled by the time he was dressed and out the door.

Panic continued to rise, blinding him to things that would be glaringly obvious otherwise. He was almost hit by a car before he even made it to the bus stop, barely heard the screech of tires and blaring horn before the brakes were slammed and his life spared.

Shaken, William sat down on the bench, mind reeling with shock and so slowly that for a moment he thought he was imagining it, the ringing quieted.

For about a minute, the volume dipped lower and lower until all that remained was silence.

William swallowed.

A lump rose in his throat along with tears in his eyes. He didn't care though. He didn't try to stop it, just let them fall until he could see no better than he could hear.

When the bus arrived, William boarded and took a seat, not caring if anyone and everyone was watching him. For the first time that he could ever remember, he really didn't care what anyone else thought. He didn't care how he looked, sitting alone, crying on the bus.

Someone leaned toward him. He saw the figure from the corner of his eye but didn't bother looking to be sure. And if he or she said anything, William didn't hear it and didn't bother trying to.

By the time he reached his stop, the tears had trickled into only blurry vision and the occasional drop.

When he walked into his house, he stood in the doorway, suddenly unsure what to do.

But then his mom's shadow fell over him. She looked cross. She was gesticulating and saying something and William felt the floor drop from under him.

She caught him as he fell to the ground and it occurred to William that he could hear his sobs. Like his head was being held under water, he could hear the muffled sounds. If he could just control himself, maybe, possibly, he could still hear her voice.

He forced his sobs into quiet hiccoughs and then with a rush of relief, he heard her speaking.

"What's wrong? What happened?" she kept repeating. "Will, please."

William squeezed his eyes shut, fighting to gain control of himself and the swell of relief and disappointment eating him inside.

It was her voice, but even in her arms, she sounded so far away.

Fighting for control, William pulled back enough to look at her.

Her face was twisted in concern. He wanted to talk but was afraid of how the words would come out, too loud, or ridiculous. It was like that first time all over again, only this time, William knew how hard it was going to be. He'd barely adjusted to being partially deaf. He didn't want to fall all the way into that label now, just when he was starting to be okay with it. He didn't think he could handle it.

"What is it?" his mom asked again. Her voice rose with worry. Slightly louder. More concerned.

William swallowed and took a deep breath.

As carefully as he could, he spoke.

"My ears," he said.

It was all he could think of as an explanation and thankfully it did the trick because her eyes widened, searching his face and then like a bolt, she was up.

She pulled her shoes on frantically and then grabbed her bag.

Only when they were sitting in the car did William remember. His appointment. He was supposed to see Dr. Mehr today for a check up. He was already late. No wonder his mother had already been freaking out, probably demanding where he'd been and why he hadn't answered his phone.

He patted his pocket and let out a sigh of relief. It was a miracle that he had managed to bring it with him at all.

William pulled it free. At some point he'd gotten a message. 

His heart sank when he saw Lucas' name.

Where are you?

William swallowed. He stared at the message all the way until they reached Dr. Mehr's office. He didn't know what to say.

Guilt swamped him at the realization that he'd taken off without a word or a note or anything. What could Lucas possibly think except the worst? 

Unless William showed up with a really good excuse. And he had one... but...

A hand landed on his arm, warm and comforting and William tore his gaze from the words on the phone to look at his mother.

"We're here," she said. 

William could tell she was practically yelling and he blinked back tears.

Before she could try to say anything else, William got out of the car, leading the way inside.

The office waiting room was probably the most silent experience of his life. It pressed in around him with so much force that William could barely think. 

He felt like he was in a dream--a nightmare, more like--where he was stuck here, waiting to hear more bad news when all he wanted was to crawl back into bed with Lucas and pretend none of this was happening. Lucas' words kept running through his head over and over again and William still didn't know how to reply.

I had a panic attack and left. I'm so scared. I'm at the doctor's office. What if I can't hear your voice again? 

He felt like the world was crashing down around him and when Dr. Mehr let them in and the tests began, it only got worse.

~

There you have it guys. What do you think? Are you mad at William? Feel bad for him? What about Lucas? Please let me know! <3

Also, I have very little experience with people who are hearing impaired. I'm not sure the specifics of the process so I apologize if it comes across the wrong way. I decided to keep with this part in a similar way to the manga strictly for dramatic purposes. lol 

Love you guys and look, look! I updated in a regular amount of time! XD