AN: Another chapter! I'm having so much fun writing this. Thank you all for reading <3

~

Lucas paused on the threshold, feet half in, half out.

He hadn't planned what he was going to say. Only that he would come here because, unfortunately, Lucas had no clue where William's house was.

Someone cleared his throat loudly behind Lucas and he realized that he was blocking the way into the restaurant.

Lucas stumbled out of the way, still unsure whether he should go in or not, but too late. William's mom dropped the plate of cookies she was holding when she saw Lucas.

He winced as two cookies rolled off the plate and then off of the counter.

"Lucas!" she said. She wasn't smiling and happy like last time though. There was a definite frown between her brows, bags under her eyes and a new air of worry swarming her.

"Yo," Lucas said and cringed. He didn't think he'd ever said that before. Why now seemed like the right time to start, was beyond him.

Ms. Hunt just stared though before turning and helping the man Lucas had been blocking out. Lucas glanced around the restaurant, sightlessly taking in the people at tables eating lunch, aware that Ms. Hunt was shooting him furtive glances all the while.

The second the man had paid, she turned to him.

"I didn't expect to see you," she said uneasily. "Is everything okay?"

Lucas tried to say yes but the word wouldn't come out and so he just stood there, staring helplessly.

Her expression saddened a modicum more.

"Is this about William?" she asked.

"I want to talk to him," Lucas blurted. "He's not returning any of my messages and he won't see me or speak to me."

Her expression softened with sympathy and she slid the plate of cookies across the counter.

"Here, have some," she said.

Lucas stepped up to the counter numbly and reached for a cookie. He shoved one in his mouth, not even tasting and then reached for another, suddenly unable to meet her gaze which was so much like her son's.

"I miss him," he mumbled, blinking furiously. "And he doesn't want to see me. What if he never wants to see me?"

The thought is so utterly depressing that all Lucas can do is put another cookie in his mouth in hopes that he can choke down the painful lump forming in his throat.

"I mean--I don't get it, he tried so hard to convince me he likes me and then takes off the morning after we hook up--"

Lucas clapped a hand to his mouth, eyes wide as they flew to meet Ms. Hunt's.

Her jaw slowly dropped open with shock, wide eyes staring at Lucas and he had the dreaded realization that he might have outed the other boy.

Lucas swallowed.

"Don't worry!" he said. "It was only oral!"

Her brows shot up so high that Lucas couldn't see them under her bangs.

"I mean--"

Lucas glanced around, at a loss. The other patrons were watching the scene blatantly. A couple sniggered in the corner.

Lucas bit his lip, wondering where along the way he'd learned to speak without thinking or volume control.

With a steadying breath, he turned back to face Ms. Hunt.

She had schooled her features, but the shock was still there, clear as day.

"You two... and he hasn't spoken to you since?" she asked in a disjointed, distant way, her mind seeming a million miles away.

Lucas nodded.

"Has he said anything?" he asked uneasily. "About me?"

She blinked rapidly, her focus returning to Lucas.

"Only when I asked. He said you were busy. I thought..." she pursed her lips, frowning. "But no, I should have known that that boy is allergic to his own happiness."

"Wh--what do you mean?"

She looked at him kindly.

"You make him happy Lucas. So of course, he'd be afraid of losing you." She sounded frustrated by her own observation but it struck Lucas with a sliver of happiness that managed to wind it's way all through his body before she went on.

"You should go see him," she said, suddenly. "Make him talk to you."

She said the statement like it was a request, almost like she was begging him to do it.

"Will he want me though?" Lucas asked.

He'd meant to add to be there, but supposed that honesty was the theme of the day so far so why change it now?

He had to look away while he waited for an answer, eyes dropping to his scuffed shoes, the clinking of cutlery and gentle conversations suddenly loud in his ears.

Still, Ms. Hunt waited for an agonizingly long time until Lucas looked up at her again. She was smiling at him but still, there was sadness in her eyes.

"You're the reason my son started opening up again," she said. "I know you're special to him."

She swallowed and turned away, rummaging under the counter until she found her purse and pulled a set of keys free.

"Just walk in," she said. "He won't hear you if his hearing aids aren't in."

"Hearing aids?" Lucas asked slowly.

She nodded, not looking at him.

"He can't really hear without them anymore ," she said. "And... it might not be enough for long."

She gave him the address, but Lucas could barely hear it. His ears were rushing so loudly that he felt like he was underwater and apparently that was clear on his face because after the explanation, she wrote it all down on a piece of paper and handed it to him.

Lucas thanked her and left, the paper clutched in his hand. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even feel in control of his body. His legs moved him without any input whatsoever and it took him almost ten minutes to look at the sheet and realize that he was going in the wrong direction.

With a frustrated groan, Lucas forced himself to stop and really read what was written there.

The address was written in large across the top and below she had drawn him a little map and everything. It was walking distance, only a few minutes from the Deli but the page was trembling in his hand and he didn't know if that was enough time.

He needed to collect himself, think of something to say. I'm sorry seemed like it would be grossly inadequate. I'm mad at you now seemed petty.

He shut his eyes and William's voice was in his ears, quiet in the dark of his bedroom, whispering that he had started to lose his hearing at sixteen. The heaviness of his voice, the absolution of what it had already done to him... It shook Lucas, suddenly.

His feet were moving again, this time in the right direction and he fought to gather his thoughts but when he reached the small house, he was no nearer figuring out how he felt or what he wanted to say.

The fact that Ms. Hunt had such faith in William's feelings for him didn't help because, truthfully, after three days waiting for word from the blond, Lucas' faith in William's feelings for him had only sank lower and lower. To the point that this morning, he had woken up wondering how he ever could have believed William, how he ever could have let a repeat of the last time happen again.

He was sick of people using him.

And he wanted to hold onto the anger, no matter how weak it was, because at least it wasn't the overwhelming confusion and sadness he'd feel otherwise.

The door opened easily into a small, cheery house with the distinct smell of cinnamon in the air. It reminded him instantly of his own home. Lucas could just imagine his mother in the living room watching her soaps and his sister sitting at the breakfast table, pouring over her homework and for the first time since he'd left for school, homesickness twisted in him.

The house was eerily silent considering that Ms. Hunt had seemed sure William was at home. Lucas felt like he was breaking and entering, despite the key in his pocket.

Unsure what else to do, he followed the hall. Only three doors turned off of it, a washroom, an empty bedroom adorned with a vanity and floral sheets which left what could only be William's room.

Lucas' nerve almost left him but he had come this far already so he pushed the door open without warning, managing to startle William so badly that he nearly fell out of his seat.

William gasped and caught himself on the edge of the desk he was sitting at, face paling as his gaze landed on Lucas.

Lucas swallowed. William looked fine. Same as always; perfect. If not for the way he was looking at Lucas, he would have assumed that everything was normal with the other boy.

But William wasn't looking at him normally, or even fondly. He was looking at Lucas like he was a ghost and it sent a white-hot tendril of fire under Lucas' skin in the worst way.

Lucas opened his mouth to speak but before so much as a sound came out William was on his feet in front of Lucas, a hand clamped over Lucas' mouth and a terrified glint in his eyes that made the words dry up in his throat.

For a minute they stared at each other, both wide-eyed. William wasn't moving and the longer they stood there looking at each other the more his hand started to shake against Lucas' lips and the more shallow his breathing grew.

Finally, Lucas nodded minutely.

Relief flooded William's face and he let go, spinning around to his desk as though he was being chased and snatching up what could only be hearing aids.

He put them forcefully into his ears and fiddled with them a moment, his back to Lucas.

Eventually, his arms fell to his sides and he stood for a listless minute before speaking.

"You can talk now."

Lucas stared at the stooped line of his shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

William's shoulders tensed but he didn't turn around.

"My mom?" 

The anger was returning now and this time, Lucas couldn't stamp in out.

"Yes your mom! She told me when I went all the way to her work to ask about you because you aren't talking to me."

Lucas waited briefly for a response but before one could come, went on.

"And another thing," he said. "You put on this big show for everyone and even got me in bed and then what, decided I wasn't good enough anymore?"

William finally turned around, watching Lucas with wide eyes that he suddenly couldn't meet.

"Not even to be friends?" he asked and his stupid voice was trembling now. "Not even important enough to turn to when something bad happens?"

He swallowed, eyes still glued to the faded brown carpet and finally dragged his gaze up to meet William's.

Now that Lucas really looked, he was obviously stressed. Dark circles rimmed his eyes making the blue pop unnaturally. His hair was in tangles, his lips pale and chapped and dusty stubble spotted his chin. 

Again, the anger deflated in Lucas and his arms, that had been crossed stubbornly across his chest dropped to his sides. He wished his emotions could decide what they felt. Flipping back and forth from anger to sadness so much was turning out to be exhausting.

"I was scared," William finally said.

He swallowed and his eyes fell shut tiredly. 

"I had to get hearing aids and... I didn't know if I would be able to hear you without them."

Lucas frowned. It was a frustratingly understandable excuse.

Sagging down, William reached for his desk chair, pulling it out to collapse into with a heavy sigh.

"That's--terrible," Lucas conceded.

"Yeah," William agreed quietly. "But it made me realize a lot of things too."

He looked up at Lucas and the way he looked at him, like he was something beautiful that drew his eyes, pulled at his heart until he couldn't remember that he was supposed to be angry at all. In fact the only thing that Lucas could really hold onto was hope. That overflowing excitement that something special was happening between them, just like the other night...

"I'm sorry," William went on. "I should have told you in person from the start... I realized that the way it all started--you and me--I don't think I would be happy not being able to hear your laugh or--"

William had to clear his throat. He took a deep breath before going on.

"And anyway, I'm leaving." he said.

Lucas blinked.

"What?"

"There's an ASL school," William said. "A few hours away. It's immersion and I barely know any to start with... They've already transferred my credits but... Well... I'll have to move there, obviously."

Lucas didn't speak. For once, his voice had left him. ASL. He wanted to ask what that was, at least, but his mind filled the blank; American Sign Language.

"All that stuff you were saying," William suddenly said, frowning. "It's not true, you know."

William looked down, all the sureness he'd given Lucas about his feelings before, now a tentative tremble in his voice.

"I meant everything. It wasn't just for show or--or to get you in bed."

Lucas deflated until his back hit the door. This sounded eerily like a breakup. Somehow, despite everything, this wasn't how he'd expected the conversation to go. He thought William would come around when he saw him.

His head hit the door with a dull thud.

"You said you wanted to be my boyfriend," he said pathetically. "If I would take you... I took you. You can't just change your mind the next day."

"Lucas--"

"No," Lucas said, cutting him off. Truthfully, he was afraid of what William had to say. "It's not just up to you."

William stared at Lucas for a moment and then seemed to collect himself and tried again.

"Lucas--" He held up a hand, stopping Lucas from interrupting. "Look, this is just how it is. Sometimes one person wants to end it and the other person doesn't and all they can do is try to accept it--"

"But you said you still like me!"

"I do but--"

"But nothing. I refuse to let you break up with me--"

"I'm doing this for you too!" William snapped, suddenly on his feet. "It's better for both of us!"

"But I want to be with you--"

"Even if you can't talk to me?" William demanded.

His words rang in the air and both of them fell silent, chests heaving, staring at each other.

"When are you leaving?" Lucas finally  asked.

"In two days," William said dully.

So soon...

"I could stay," Lucas said, feeling more pathetic by the moment. "I don't think you mom would mind--"

"Lucas," William said and his voice was hard this time. Enough so that Lucas wanted to cover his ears like a baby because he knew what was coming. "I think you should go."

A chill filled Lucas, so cold that for a moment, he stood frozen, unable to move. But then his eyes met William's and although his jaw was set with determination, his eyes were already dull with regret and Lucas knew that if he left now, they might never see each other again. 

And that just wasn't an option.

So instead of turning back through that door, Lucas walked across the room and sat down on the edge of William's feather soft bed.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said stubbornly.