Requested by a user who wanted to remain anonymous :)

WARNING: This may contain triggers as this is a story about grief, cutting, and death.

Ship: None, a fluff and grief story

Summary: The reader has cuts on their arms due to losing their One (the reader is a dwarf) and the company finds out at Rivendell. You have the power to conjure memories and show how your One died. After BOTFA reader is remembered by the company for saving the line of Durin with your life.

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You sat down on the stone bench in the gardens of Rivendell, a tired glint in your (e/c) eyes. Your head turned around as you checked to make sure the coast was clear before you rolled up your silky (fav color) sleeves to examine your arm, your (h/l) (h/c) hair falling around your shoulders.

You kept your secret well hid and guarded, and so far no one had noticed a thing. You had started to cut your wrists not long after your beloved died, which had been the only relief you had from the torturous memories that would cascade your mind.

You gazed over the old scars and of the new ones you did when you had bad nights. "Fancy seeing you here." Came the familiar voice of your brotherly like friend Fili, who had strolled into the area you had thought was secluded. You quickly snapped your head up and desperately pulled down your sleeve, faking a smile and holding your head high.

Fili eyed you suspiciously, slowly approaching you. "(Y/n), are you wounded? If so the elves can surely patch you up." He now stood towering over you, his blue-green eyes looking at your covered arm.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing... just looking at old scars from home." You faked a grin as best as you could. "Alright, then let me see it." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest, clearly not convinced. You stood up, backing away a little as you swung your arms casually; something Fili quickly noticed.

"Show me (y/n), now." His voice lost his playful attitude, taking up a demanding authority of a king. You shook your head as you stepped back, only for him to step forward. "Show me or I will have to examine it myself, let me help you."

"I-I can't." You said, thinking up a plan to run off as fast as you could. As soon as you made a hasty step backward's he sprinted towards you, grabbing you by your hands. You yelped as you both fell back, falling onto the soft dirt path below.

He held you by your waist and arm as he rolled up your sleeve, earing a squeak of pain as the fabric rubbed against your now opened scabs. His eyes widened as looked at them, instantly seeing they were straight and clean cut. This only meant one thing, you were cutting your own wrists with a knife.

He hid the tears in the back of his eyes as he realized that some were very old, while others were quite recent. "Why... why would you do this to yourself (y/n)?" He whispered out, watching as you clenched your jaw and turned your face away. Silent tears rolled down your cheeks while your lip quivered to keep yourself quiet.

He hugged you tightly before standing up hoisting you in his arms, careful to cradle you but to also firmly keeping you from escaping his grasp. He knew exactly what you needed, and he had no intention of letting you go run off; especially after what he learned. You didn't mind being held and comforted, at least until you realized where you were heading that is.

He was taking you back to the company. You struggled against him, banging your fists on his fur armor- not affecting him in the slightest though. Now you really let the tears fall as you began to panic, imagining the company who you considered family sneering and disappointed in your actions against yourself.

Fili's heart practically broke at your sobs and desperate cries to be let down, but his mind was set on taking you to the company of dwarves. He knew that they would comfort you, as you were the youngest traveling along with being a female dwarf; you quickly grew close to the members. Even the older dwarves such as Balin, Thorin, and even Dwalin had a blossomed a soft spot for you.

He saw the company sharply stand up with weapons in hand as they heard your cries, only to turn around to find Fili carrying you to camp. "What in Durin's name happened?! Is she hurt?!" Kili cried out, Dwalin now rushing to up you and Fili. "If it was one of those damned elves..." He growled out, his vicious tone and the grip on his ax was enough to make any grown man run for cover.

He simply shook his head and set you down on the fur covered floor, to which you quickly jumped to your feet. You tried to get to the stairs to run, but you were blocked off by a wall of dwarves, who had now trapped you in a circle. Thorin rushed over to you, grabbing you by your trembling shoulders. "What happened? Did those leaf eater's do something to you?" His blue eyes grew very dark at the thought, for you were like a daughter in his eyes.

"No, Thorin...it was... it was herself." Fili said sadly, earning gasps and shocked faces from the others. "What? Where?" Thorin demanded now searching your (e/c) eyes for clues. His grip he had placed on your arm slightly tightened, earning a sharp breath to escape from your lips. He quickly brought your hand into the open as the others gathered around, Thorin's calloused hands gently pulling back the fabric of your dress. His eyes widened as the dwarves stared in utter shock at the new discovery.

There on your arm bore many knife cuts, some faint, some visible, and three others newly scabbed. "Why did you do this to yourself?" Dwalin said in a hushed tone, the group surrounding you deathly quiet. "I-I can't.. it'll make me cry more." You whispered out, your lips a red shade from biting them and your cheeks tear-stained.

"My dear (y/n), it's ok to cry- everyone does and needs to. Come, tell us what's causing you to do this." Came Balin, who motioned everyone to sit down. You let out a shaky sigh as Thorin sat you down in his lap, your small hands wrapping into his fur cloak like a child would.

You didn't want to speak, so instead, you waved four fingers in the air, creating a gray mist that surrounded all of you in a bubble. A cliff slowly blurred into vision in the fog, the company mesmerized by your magic that Gandalf had lent you. A large stone house was now clearly in view, sitting stoically atop the cliff to overlook a beautiful sunrise. The companies eyes were suddenly drawn attention to a pack of warg riders, who were silently creeping closer and closer to the sleeping building.

With a horrid cry, the wargs knocked against the home, sending bricks and rock flying through the air. Not but a few seconds later did a muscular dwarf come charging out with a warhammer in hand, his night clothes still on. He swung his warhammer into a Warg's head, its' skull caving in and knocking itself and another Warg off the nearby cliff.

Everyone let out a holler of surprise as the dwarf was about to be beheaded from behind, but in a sudden dash a dwarrowdam came to his aid and slashed the orc's head off. The dwarves didn't need to know those were your precise moves, but instantly recognized your (h/l) (h/c) that wiped around like a snake as they watched you fight.

You had been so busy covering the dwarf's back an arrow missed your attention as the dwarf ran to take it for you. It struck him in the chest with a heaving thud, his warhammer dangling in his hands as he stood in front of you. They heard you let out a soul-piercing scream as you were both cornered to the edge of the cliff, the orcs laughing maniacally.

The man continued to take down a total of ten Wargs by himself, you taking out the riders. You both were greatly outnumbered and injured, the dwarf eventually taking a sword to his shoulder. You dragged him back towards the cliff as they grew closer, his bloodied hand wrapping around your waist and kissed you passionately before leaping off the cliff, his back facing the incoming doom. As the scenery slowly faded away they heard a sickening crunch and a blood-curdling scream come from your lips- the voices soon dulling as the mist dissipated.

Everyone turned to you with teary eyes, clenched fists and tear-stained faces from some of the dwarves. You simply sobbed in agony as everyone group hugged you, Thorin rocking you back and forth with unshed tears. They now knew why you cut yourself and didn't blame you, for often when dwarves would loose their One they'd soon die.

But somehow you had made it through, and they willingly shed their tears for your heartache. From that moment forward every single member watched over you and loved you; even up until the moment of your death saving the line of Durin; passing on the legends and creating statues in market squares made in your memory.

Even in death they loved you and carried on your story, after all, isn't that what a true family does?