~18~

When I finally got home, my coat was wet through, and my teeth were chattering from the cold. Luckily, Mum was out again. Otherwise, she would definitely tell me off.

I shed my damp clothes as soon as I reached my bathroom and took a long, warm shower, shivering as the hot water caressed and enveloped my freezing skin.

How strange it is, I mused as I stepped out to reach for a towel, and caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror, knowing with certainty that I'm more than two months pregnant, but not seeing or feeling anything yet. My belly still looked almost flat; it didn't seem to have grown much so far. The only thing that kept growing steadily day after day was my tiredness.

After having wrapped a soft and warm dressing gown around me, then drying my hair, I dragged myself into my room, feeling utterly exhausted. I approached my bed to take my pyjamas from under the pillow, wishing I could just lay down and sleep, dreaming about Vlad, for a couple of days, or better, weeks. Maybe I could just sleep through the entire year and wake up a few days before next Halloween, I mused, kicking off my slippers and nestling under my quilt. But I was too hungry for that, I realised as my stomach growled in protest when I reached inside my handbag, which I had dumped on the floor next to the bed, for the baby shoes and my book.

Groaning with frustration, I put my treasures under my pillow, donned the dressing gown and slippers again, then headed downstairs in search of something to eat.

A note from Mum and, like the previous evening, a sandwich was waiting for me on the kitchen table.

I skimmed through the note informing me about Mum's program for tonight while I carried the plate with the food to Lily.

Apparently, not even the dog liked the idea of eating a cold sandwich two nights in the row-- she only opened her eyes, without even bothering to raise her head when I offered her my dinner. Then she buried her nose under her paws and went back to sleep, ignoring me completely.

So I took the sandwich outside, in the garden, and left it there on the patio, the plate and all. As soon as I reached the door again, rushing to go back in to escape the freezing drizzle, I heard Whisper moving swiftly across the wet lawn in my direction.

Does she sleep here now, too? I wondered, watching the eating fox through the glass after I re-entered, hoping that if she had found a place to sleep in the shed, Mum wouldn't notice.

When my still empty stomach complained again, I walked towards the fridge and looked inside. Finding nothing interesting, I rummaged through the freezer in the utility room. Finally, I settled for a chicken pie. It was the closest thing to the warm and filling meals our Cook used to make for us in the castle, which I could find among Mum's low-fat and salutary frozen meals.

You must try to remember at least some of Cook's recipes and start cooking yourself! My subconscious ordered me while I unpacked my dinner and set the correct instructions on the microwave.

Lily was still sleeping when I finished my meal, collected the fox's plate, and cleaned up. I climbed the stairs and brushed my teeth using my last strength, then fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

When I woke up in the morning, Vlad was with me in the bed. At least, that's how it felt until I opened my eyes and turned around only to find myself alone as always.

But he had been there, he must have been, I had felt his body pressed against mine, his front to my back, his soft breath on the sensitive skin of my neck, all night. His arms had been wrapped around me protectively, holding me close, one of his hands lying splayed over my belly, covering my own hand holding the periwinkle baby shoes...

Feeling my eyes prickle with tears and my lips twitch with suppressed sobs, I forbade myself to cry. It's all right, everything's fine. Even though separated by both space and time, somehow, in dreams, we could connect. These dreams were something... more. They felt too real, and sometimes we could not only feel each other's presence but talk too... But why not every night?

I dabbed at a couple of tears which had escaped my eyes and pulled myself up, half perceiving, and half imagining how the place in the bed next to me felt warm, and an imprint of another head marked my pillow. I craved to bury my face in it but resisted, knowing that if, by any impossible chance, I'd find even a hint of Vlad's scent in it, I would burst into tears.

I forced myself out of the bed and packed a new box for Lia hastily. This is the last one, I realised, letting my eyes roam over my room before leaving. I had already packed and moved everything I could unless I wanted Mum noticing that some of my things were missing before Friday.

Only two more days to go, I thought with a pang of melancholy as I walked across the village towards the pond and the bus stop. I was tempted to stop at Luigi's and tell him and Veronica that I was moving out but decided against it. I'd tell my parents first.

At work, the day dragged on. Lia popped in for a few minutes as she had promised, telling me that she couldn't come with me this afternoon.

So, after my endless shift was finally over, I went to Pimlico alone. It was raining too much to sit on the bench as I had done before. Taking a couple of steadying breaths, I walked to the mysterious house as soon as I arrived, knocked on the door, and left again immediately when it stayed stubbornly shut.

I was starting to feel discouraged. Let down. Abandoned. Nothing worked as it should.

I was about to move out for the first time and nearly three months pregnant. With my husband whom I loved more than anything, but who happened to be a medieval vampire, and wasn't around to help me. My appointment with the midwife was scheduled for Monday, and it would be followed closely by the first scan... and I had no answers! Not only regarding my pregnancy, but going back to Vlad, too.

Maybe returning to my other world wouldn't be as easy as it had been before, when I had walked through alone, simply following Vlad. Would it work, going back in with the child? I had walked through the passage pregnant, guided by Junior, but would it be the same once the baby was born? All of my clothes and things I carried disappeared every time I crossed between the two worlds, everything, except for my book and my ring... And would Vlad be there, waiting for me to take me back in? Maybe it wasn't possible to walk through that time passage without at least one of them present...

I had been really hoping that anyone related to the writer who had visited my other reality could help me somehow... There's still time, I tried to console myself. Even though it feels much longer, you've only been back for a week now. You still have nearly the whole year left to think and plan.

Lia forbade me to go back to Pimlico the day after. It was raining so heavily when she came to pick me up after work, a huge umbrella in her hand, that she shepherded me to the station straight away and watched over me until I got on the correct bus heading to Barnes. I spent the rainy afternoon closed in my room, trying to decide what else I would need to take with me when I moved to Lia's.

Then it was Friday, my birthday.

Mum did not leave before me as she usually did in the mornings, but waited until I came down for breakfast to remind me about the dinner. She made me promise that I'd come home immediately after work.

Which means that you won't be going to Pimlico, not even today, I thought as I left the house to walk to the bus stop, letting my mind ramble and stroll back to the days passed, my first week back in this world. It was unbelievable how long such a short time could feel.

Strangely, there had been no sign of Lucas since Tuesday. Now that I wanted to talk to him, he had disappeared. When I asked Anne about him, she said she hadn't seen him in a while either. Well, I'd stumble over him sooner or later, I was sure.

What was troubling me more was the sudden and unexpected absence of my dreams. I hadn't seen or felt Vlad in a couple of nights, and it felt like eternity. I had no idea how my dreams worked or why they disappeared now, and it was worrying me... Was I simply too tired to dream lately? Or was there nothing significant happening and Vlad, or better, the part of my subconscious that was somehow linked to him had nothing to show me...?

I shook my head and shivered involuntarily as I got on the overheated bus and sat down. It had stopped raining finally, but it got much colder outside, too. I noticed a few frozen puddles on the narrow path lining the river as the bus rattled over the bridge, and my thoughts strolled to William.

William, who I didn't want to think about, but who kept texting me about our Sunday every day. I sighed when I took my phone out of my bag, finding yet another text from him. After I had refused his idea of spending nearly the whole day together by going to a gallery, then dinner, and even to a show in one of the West-End's theatres, a thing we used to do a lot before, we agreed on going only to a museum or a gallery. William had promised he would book tickets to a place I'd never been to, making my alarm bells ring-- as a born Londoner, I had seen all of this city's attractions, which I wanted to see. If he had found a place I had not visited yet, then it was because I didn't want to see it. Still, I accepted this idea as the lesser evil. The other option was definitely worse.

Halfway through the quiet Friday morning, Lia appeared in the shop, carrying a large, neatly wrapped box and a small chocolate cake from Paris.

"Thanks, Lia," I told her, not feeling in the mood to celebrate at all, "you shouldn't have bothered..."

"I didn't really know what I should get you," she said, taking a candle and a lighter from her pocket while I unwrapped the box. "But seeing all the books you carry around these days, I thought a new, bigger handbag would be useful..."

"It's great," I smiled at her, looking at my new bag. It matched the shoes she had given me before perfectly.

Seeing Mr. Turner approaching us from behind the bookshelves, I leaned closer to her and whispered hastily, "Wait for me tonight, knowing my father I'll be out as soon as I tell them... "

"Just give me a ring when you get on the bus, I'll pick you up at the station," she whispered back before my boss came within earshot.

We shared the cake with Mr. Turner who presented me, as every year, with a small bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.

Why did I promise Mum I'd come home straight after work? I should have gone to Pimlico, even if just to knock once... This way, I'm getting nowhere... I mused, feeling upset with myself, on my way to the bus station once my shift was over. You must go tomorrow, no excuses. I told myself as I let the small bus take me home for the last time.

When I reached our house and walked in, I stopped in my tracks, stunned by the beauty of the enormous bouquet placed on the narrow table by the front door, reflecting and multiplying in the large mirror hanging on the wall behind it. I had never seen so many flowers bunched together. Their scent seemed to be filling the house, fighting for dominance over the aromas coming from the kitchen.

"Hi, honey!" Mum called, appearing shortly in the doorway at the bottom of the corridor. Judging by the white, lacy apron she was wearing over her smart black dress, she was still cooking.

"Wow, lovely flowers!" I called, removing my shoes quickly, meaning to escape up the stairs. I had to pack my last things before dinner; there was at least one box left to fill and maybe a bag too...

"They are yours." Mum approached me from the kitchen before I managed to take two steps up.

She caressed the fragile, multi-coloured petals gently, smelling the delicate blooms. "From William." She beamed. "He called, too, and I invited him to join us for dinner."

Oh, great! I started to despair, but luckily, Mum added, "He said he couldn't make it as he is in tonight's play, but you are seeing each other on Sunday..." Thank goodness for the theatre, I thought, while she rambled on, "I'm so glad you changed your mind about him; he's such a nice young man!"

Yes. Right.

"Do you need help in the kitchen?" I asked her to change the subject, passing her the small bouquet from Mr. Turner to add to William's flowers.

"No, thank you. It's all done. You can rest before your father comes." She smiled as she took the flowers from me, looking still lost in her daydream about me and William.

"Ok, Mum, thanks. I'll see you later then," I told her, running towards my room before she would change her mind.

Awful, horrible William! I screamed inwardly, throwing random things in the last foldable box pulled from under the bed, and the same luggage that I had used for my trip to Romania. How can he make Mum believe that all is fine between us, that we would simply get back together? I despaired, finishing my hasty packing by placing my copy of Dracula and the baby shoes on top of everything before closing the bag. Is he really so delusional? Or is he just trying to drive me mad? I mused, folding my Harry Potter quilt neatly as a last thought, then adding it to the box.

As soon as I was done, I heard Dad entering the house and, after a while, joining Mum in the kitchen. The moment their voices started rising in their first argument of the evening, I tiptoed down the stairs carefully and hid all my things in a shadowy corner by the stairs. Then, without even a glance in the direction of William's flowers, I walked towards the kitchen, hoping to interrupt them before they would start shouting.

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