hi hello how are yall doing

***

It was a Friday night and it took Jungkook hours to convince his mother of letting him go outside tonight. Obviously he didn't tell her who he was meeting, she became strict with Jungkook meeting guys after she found out her son had a gay affair going on with a famous actor. So he lied and told her he was just going out with friends instead of telling her the truth about how he was actually meeting up with Mark in a bar, to have a drink while watching football together.

Well, it seemed pretty normal if you'd consider that this is was guys usually do together in their free time.

Just that Mark constantly flirted with Jungkook over text and they were meeting up in a gay bar. Just in case something between them might happening, they'd be at least in a safe place.
Now that Jungkook finally got to leave the house after promising his mother a thousand times that he would be home by midnight and promised not to drink or anything, he was on his way to the bar. Mark had texted him the address earlier so now he was trying to find it. Not having that many friends in his teenage years came along with not knowing anything about the cool hangout spots guys his age would hang out at.

So naturally, he took the wrong way about four times and ended up being more than twenty minutes late when he got there. Mark already stood outside the bar, looking unbothered.
"Good evening", Jungkook said firmly as he reached the guy. It had been a few days since they first met and he never had an actual date or something with a person he thought was attractive, so he behaved quite awkwardly.
Even though Jungkook was being the unsocial boy he always was, Mark greeted him with a big smile and pulled him in a hug, "Dude I almost got worried you wouldn't show up-"

Jungkook hugged him back, blushing a little.
"Why wouldn't I show up?"

"Who knows", Mark shrugged and then confidently intertwined their hands which got Jungkook confused all over again. Taehyung had never done that in public areas, he would just appear out of nowhere to pick him up when he got himself drunk, he'd never publicly hug him or take him anywhere by his hand.
Mark however had no shame walking into the bar and taking Jungkook over to a free table in a corner. The lights there were a little dimmed and candles were lightened while club music was playing. There was also a huge tv on the wall that would show football.
Not that Mark even planned to actually watch it, but Jungkook was still oblivious and thought that this date would end up being all innocent and sweet with nothing beyond hand holding.

That was what he was used to do with another guy in public. Well, to be exact, this was he was used to do with Taehyung by his side.

And he couldn't help but constantly think of how it would be if Taehyung would be sitting right here, next to him and still holding his hand even though a dozen of other people were around to see them. Kook's heartbeat speeded up a little just by imagining a scene like this.
"So how was your day? Did you miss me?", Mark teased the boy, softly poking his sides.

"All the time. As much as you missed me after we met, you immediately bought yourself a new phone, huh", Jungkook teased back and smiled a little shy.

"Yeah, you were quite impressive", Mark hummed, "I'm still surprised you're single with those looks-"

Jungkook nodded slowly, "Let's say I'm usually not the type to date."
"So you prefer fucking around?", Mark gasped, "Are you having like five fuckbuddies at the same time??"

"No", Jungkook squeaked out, shaking his head hurriedly. "I just lost the one boy I had to fuck with", he rolled his eyes, "So I'm quite new at all of this dating shit. Never did it before."
Mark nodded, "Fuck, boys with broken hearts are hard to love", he hummed and looked at Jungkook for quite a while. "It takes a lot to break a boy's heart, y'know."

Jungkook shrugged, "My heart isn't broken", he lied with a fake smile plastered all over his face, "I couldn't care less actually. He didn't treat me right."

Yet the only thought on the boy's mind was how to sleep tonight after telling a lie like this. Taehyung had never done anything wrong to Jungkook, he never did any harm to him and always made sure to do his best with loving him. Always let the boy get away with the shit he pulled and never raised his voice at him.
Taehyung were an angel and Jungkook just told a lie about him being a bad boyfriend.

Which he wasn't.
He was just a little hard to love.

"So you're saying you're easy to love?", Mark questioned, tilting his head, "If you're saying your heart is fine-"

Kook chuckled a little, "I doubt that."
Mark bit his lips and didn't say anything for a while, trying to figure out Jungkook by his behavior. He'd be dying to find out more about this mysterious boy he bumped into a few days ago but he seemed so unreadable and hard to get.
"Who made you think you're not easy to love?", Mark asked carefully.

Jungkook would have answered if there wasn't a certain advertisement starting to play on the TV. It was for a new movie that would be upcoming in the cinema by next year. The boy's heart skipped when he saw the main actor for this being released with this trailer that just aired for the first time today.
His mouth fell a little open when he saw hot kissing scenes between the actor and the actress playing in the trailer, coming along with jealousy crawling up his throat. "He's faking it", he whispered after watching how the boy's head fell back when the girl went down on him.
"Well, obviously", Mark chuckled, "It's a movie. All the sex scenes are fake."

Jungkook didn't even notice Mark saying that, he just kept staring, "Why would they put such scenes in a trailer?"
Mark shrugged, "No idea but I'm not complaining. This guy is my favorite actor, he's so fucking hot. I wouldn't mind him knocking me up from time to time."

"What", Jungkook let out and snapped out of his stare, head turning to Mark who blushed now that he said it out loud. "That's Taehyung", he said bluntly. He didn't realize that Mark didn't know the story, he had no idea Jungkook was Taehyung's last boyfriend and he had no idea that this dude right there on the TV screen was the guy that made Jungkook think he was hard to love.
"Yeah, duh", Mark rolled his eyes, "Everyone knows him. He's incredible."

Jungkook sighed a little, "He is"
"Maybe we could go and visit his movie set sometime, he's scheduled to record some scenes here in Los Angeles soon", Mark suggested, "Only if you won't like him more than me though."
But Kook wasn't even listening anymore, he just stared into nowhere and tried not to start panicking at the thought of Taehyung being in the same city as him again.

It had been months since they left each other's life and Jungkook really had thought he would get over him by a few weeks but this wasn't the case and now the possibility of seeing him again made his heart flutter and his mind go crazy at the same time.
"Jungkook", Mark sighed. "You seem off."

"He just reminded me of someone", Jungkook said quietly and tried his best to seem fine, wishing he could just lock himself somewhere right now and watch this trailer over and over again until it made him feel less like crying.
Taehyung had made a whole movie kissing someone else, it wasn't Jungkook anymore who got to kiss those lips and somehow that made it all worse. Why would he agree to a movie like that?

Did he try to purposely hurt Jungkook?
Or did he just stop caring?

"Of who?", Mark asked curiously, "Your Ex?"
Jungkook flinched at that, "No, no. Why would he?"

"No idea but you have this look on your face as if you'd want to be smashed by him right there instead of this girl", Mark grinned. "Hate to break it to you but he's probably straight as fuck."

Jungkook could only laugh weakly, "Probably", he said and turned his face away to gulp down the tears that filled up his eyes.
Mark luckily didn't notice that and just kept talking, "Anyway, let's get back to the important shit", he let his hand rest on Jungkook's thigh now, "Are you a top? 'cuz I'm not-"

Jungkook gasped at that question that just came out of nowhere, totally unexpected.
"Do I look like a top-", Jungkook asked quite confused.

"Not really but I learned not to judge by looks after I had a really strong, tall, buffy guy being a bottom", Mark smirked, thinking of how much he liked his Ex-boyfriend even though he had to top him most of the time.
"Sexual preferences have nothing to do with looks or personality anyway", Jungkook said, "My Ex was way softer and kinder than me and still, I got the dick up my ass", the boy smirked a little, thinking of how loving Taehyung had always been, never mean or anything you'd typically think a top would be like.

"Agreed", Mark grinned. "You talk so nicely over him. You two must have really been in love", he hummed then, admiring how Jungkook didn't make his Ex out to be a horrible person unlike most people did after a relationship ended.
"Well, that's because there is nothing bad about him", Jungkook explained firmly, "He's the best person I ever got the met."

"So why did you two break up?"

"Let's say, we were meant to be but we did it wrong", Jungkook said in a small voice, "And it was mostly my fault. I ruined us before we could even really begin."
Mark nodded slowly, "Sounds like a tragedy", he said and patted Kook's shoulders. "I'll make it better~"

Jungkook shrugged, thinking to himself that there was no way Mark would be able to do that.
He'd never be Taehyung.
And there was no one who could ever mean more to Jungkook than him, that was the one thing the boy was sure of.

They continued talking for a while, drank a little bit but Jungkook just kept drifting off with his thoughts, always stuck with Taehyung's smile in his head at the end. At some point Mark just let him be and decided to try again another time, maybe today just wasn't the right day. Jungkook seemed like a lot.

Boiled up with a lot of issues, and a whole Ex in his past that still followed him up until today.

Jungkook didn't even realize how he suddenly turned into the person with the toxic Ex that would keep him from happiness. Coincidentally this was the same thing that happened when Jungkook thought Taehyung was still caught up with Jennie. He just put Mark in the same awkward position that made him himself leave his relationship.

Just with one slight difference;
While Taehyung never compared Jungkook to Jennie, Kook did this with every breath Mark took, he would constantly think of how Taehyung would say it, how his facial expressions would be and how godly he'd look in the dimmed lights of this bar.

If only he had known before how toxic he could become.
This evening was just the beginning.

***