sorry for the long wait for an update. i couldn't stop myself from writing my other book bromance every day- i'll try to treat my books equally now sorry lmao

***

Days, weeks-, yeah even a month passed by from that day on. Jungkook had took the flight back home to Los Angeles while Taehyung stayed in Chicago for the rest of the week. It felt like an ending, but at the same time, it felt like the beginning of something bigger.
Taehyung knew that this couldn't be it. Not just like that. Therefore Jungkook had meant a little too much to the famous boy. But once he got on this plane, Taehyung finally realized that this wasn't going to be easy. Jungkook was more than just a random boy who wanted to be with Taehyung because of his looks or any other oblivious reason. Being popular came along with plenty offers how he could spend his time. Girls who sneaked their numbers in his pockets, boys who stole secret glances at him in the men's toilets. Those people were everywhere and Taehyung hated how easy it was to get them.

Jungkook being the whole opposite had something magical, something that drew Taehyung to the younger and made it impossible to forget about him.

The first week, he thought it would be fine. He went out a lot, hooked up with a few guys and then left their houses before they even woke up. All this made him get rid off the tension Jungkook had left behind. Taehyung went sightseeing, he met lots of people and hung out at Jeno's club almost every night. He had also met up with Lyza once again, talking to her really made it a lot easier since he didn't really had anyone he could call a friend.

But once he came home, things changed.

The huge house he was living in, it seemed even more empty than it had ever been, the walls scarily high and the plain white walls giving Taehyung headaches. Every morning he woke up to Rosie serving him breakfast, and Yeontan snuggling up to him. Just that none of this replaced Jungkook's grumpy morning mood with which he had pissed Taehyung off a lot but now that it was gone-, he missed it.

Jungkook was everywhere, in every guy he saw, he tried to see the smallest things he could connect to Jungkook and once someone had bunny teeth or a squeaky voice-, Taehyung always tried to find an excuse to talk to them. Then leaving after a short period of time because no one, not even close, could be what Jungkook was to him. People got so boring, more with every passing day. No one had that sparkle that Jungkook had, the boy always seemed to be glowing in confidence, his cocky attitude and the adorable face making him seem a little twisted and mysterious. Taehyung had fallen in love with every inch of the boy's body and the more he tried to find something similar in someone else, the unhappier he got.

Yet he knew, that calling Jungkook wouldn't help. It would only make things worse. Because their problems were still there and Taehyung couldn't find a solution. He would always be a celebrity, no matter what would happen. The world knew his name and even dropping his job wouldn't just make this go away. And with having everyone's attention, publicity came along about everything he did.
And there was more than just being afraid of coming out in front of everyone.
There were still his parents who would never lay an eye on him ever again if they'd find out he came out as gay to the public. No one around this country would give him a chance to prove his skills, he would not get any job, no matter how low the job seemed.
Korea wasn't a place to be gay, especially when you're a person known by the public, being judged for basically everything. If you dared to breathe in the wrong way-, people would cancel you and make your life a living hell.

And was it that bad that Taehyung was afraid of all that?
And how comes Jungkook wasn't scared at all?

He continued doing his job. The movie got filmed with another main actress after Taehyung threatened that he'd drop out if they'd let Lisa play the role she was originally assigned to. Yoongi and Taehyung did a great job and gained even more fans once their movie came out.
Jimin kept being around and with seeing him, Taehyung always thought of Jungkook and how much he missed him. It seemed to be so easy for Jimin and Yoongi to be together-, why couldn't it be the same for Taehyung and Jungkook?
Life had funny ways of showing you what could have been right in front of your eyes.

It got lonelier after the movie was out and the production finished.
There wasn't much on his schedule and Taehyung's company gave him some time off even though he never asked for it. Much rather he would have kept overworking himself, hoping that this successfully would keep Jungkook off his mind.

However, Taehyung wasn't the only one feeling horrible.

Jungkook started going back to school because that was the least he could do, in his parents' opinion after abandoning them for his spontaneous adventure in New York. They were stricter with him now, more than ever. Not allowing him to do anything but study and whenever they saw him lazing around-, he'd get shit for it.
It wasn't just that, but it was also the guilt that kept coming up whenever he thought of leaving Taehyung just like that, not even giving him a chance of trying to work all this out.
If only he had known before how lonely life would be if there was no Taehyung to wake up to every morning anymore.

In school he became the quiet kid, no one really paid attention to him and sometimes Jungkook doubted that anyone had even noticed his absence for the past two months. Not that he cared, but it would have been nice if someone would have come up to him and told him it's nice that he's back. Not even his parents did that.

So all Jungkook had left was his laptop on which he constantly looked up things about Taehyung, binging every interview and every movie he starred in, and cried the whole night over it afterwards. Things were just hell.

And he regretted leaving.
But his parents had forbidden him to leave ever again or else they would never let him back.

And through it all, Jungkook saw Taehyung smiling to the cameras-, so he couldn't be feeling that bad, right?
Maybe after all, Taehyung was better off without him.

*

It was a Tuesday afternoon and Jungkook had been forced to go out and do the grocery shopping for his family, so now the boy was walking along the busy streets of LA, looking for the nearest store to buy stuff at.
The boy was still drown in his thoughts, looking to his feet the whole way while he bit his lips until they were swollen and bloody. Things like Taehyung were still not leaving him alone and it seriously made his heart ache to think of him, what would he be doing right now? How was he doing? Did he had a good or a bad day?
But none of those questions he would get an answer to.

He didn't even notice how he ran into a boy who walked along the street with his phone to his ear, talking loudly to someone through it, laughing and definitely not paying attention to the boy he just ran into.
Both yelled out in shock and the smaller one dropped his phone, looking at Jungkook with huge eyes, "Dude!"

"What!", Jungkook snapped back.

"Watch where you're walking!", the boy hissed and then grabbed his phone and groaned out when he saw that his display was a splittered mess. "Broo", he whined and let out the biggest sigh. "Now Johnny will think I died because you broke my phone in the middle of the call."

"You could have looked where you were going too", Jungkook grumbled.

"The least you could do now would be giving me your phone number", the smaller boy rolled his eyes, "And invite me for a drink this weekend."

"Wha-", Jungkook gasped, shocked how the boy turned this whole situation into a flirt within seconds, confusing Jungkook a lot. "I-"

"I'm Mark", the boy smiled brightly, "And you?"
"Jungkook", the older said, "How should I give you my number if you just broke your phone tho", he said, looking at Mark's phone in doubt.

"Bro, just write it on a paper", Mark chuckled and then pulled pen and paper out of his bag as if it was the most normal thing ever to carry it around. Jungkook hesitated before taking it, blushing a little. "Is that a date?", he asked quietly, not knowing if he was even ready for that kinda thing yet.

"Just bros hanging out", Mark said with a wink, "But if my dick lands in your mouth by the end of the night, I'm not complaining."
Well, that convinced Jungkook. He hadn't gotten off in ages and the opportunity to get some good fuck was ten times more convincing than laying in bed all night, crying over his broken heart.

"Okay, yeah whatever", Kook said and wrote his number down. "Consider yourself lucky. Not everyone gets my number", he said quietly.

Mark leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to Jungkook's cheek, "Thanks, bro", he then grabbed the paper and ran off, smiling way too excited.
Jungkook let out a big sigh, watching after the boy.

What just happened?

And why the hell did Jungkook feel so fucking guilty right now?

***