-Athena's POV-

I gathered my stuff together into a tiny bag. It reminded me of when I first moved out of the Manor. At the time, I had been surprised by how such little I owned. Now, the tiny handbag that held my belongings was a blinding reminder of just how low I had fallen since then.

And to think my problems used to be so trivial as worrying if Dick would kiss me.

I was glad Tim was still out of town. I didn't want him to try to convince me to stay. Seeing Alfred's disappointed eyes was enough. "Don't be sad, Pennyworth," I patted his back, "at least now you don't have to cook for me."

Alfred nodded and straightened the towel on his arm. "Yes, Miss Athena. However, I would rather cook you hundreds of meals if that meant you wouldn't leave the Manor."

"I have to go," I sighed, "you know just as well as I do that I don't belong here and that I need to go live on my own to go back on patrol."

"Yes, I do know that. But, perhaps you can hold off on the hero stuff to get more training." He said it casually, trying to make the idea seem like my idea. It was a classic manipulation trick. I knew that Alfred had lived with Bruce his whole life, but who knew that Alfred picked some things up?

I shook my head and flexed my arm. My bicep strained against my cotton shirt, displaying all the strength I had gotten back. I had trained relentlessly and eaten enough food to feed me the entire time I was at the Temple. Muscles covered every bone, concealing it from touch. I was back to the way I used to be. And hey, it only took two and a half months.

"I didn't come back to Gotham to sit around. Despite what everyone seems to think, I am not the new Oracle." The thought alone of being back in the devilish wheelchair was haunting.

"Miss Athena, you are forgetting one thing," The condescending nature of Alfred made me whip around, "To be in a wheelchair or have any other disability does not mean you are weak. In fact, sometimes the strongest and bravest people are the ones who seem weak."

I rolled my eyes, but I knew he was right. I was always too hard on myself. But, I couldn't stop. I had trained myself this way. It was a part of my DNA.

"I'm going to go," I turned, but a big hand clasped my shoulder. I knew it wasn't Alfred. I turned and came face to face with Bruce.

"Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?" He asked. His tone was joking, but his face was so serious. I was conflicted on how to feel. But, I did feel intimidated. It was a feeling I still hadn't gotten used to feeling.

Bruce lead me down into the Batcave alone. Assuming he was just going to lecture me, I let my guard down.

I looked down at my watch. "Bruce, I really need to go..." It was almost time for patrol. The sun was already down, leaving Gotham in the dark.

"We need to talk."

He stood stalk still, staring at me. His face was completely flat. When Bruce said he needed to talk, he really wanted to talk. Unlike Bruce, Dick would always lean against something. He could never just stand still and look me in the eyes. He had to be leaning against something. If the news was really bad, he would often fidget. But, Dick could also never really 'talk.' He was good at saying two words then kissing it out, but he wasn't good at talking. That was one of our problems. Because...I also wasn't good at talking.

"Whatever you say, I'm still leaving. Bruce, I've left before," I started to say.

"I know, that's not what I'm here for."

"Bruce, I don't care what you have to say about my life," I hissed, "its not a secret that I don't belong here and I bet you figured that out like everyone else when I left. But, I'm not leaving Gotham. No matter what you're going to try to tell me."

"I know."

I blinked. I was confused by his answer. "What do you mean you know?"

Bruce rolled his shoulders back. His face still held the same expression as before. "I know about why you left. The real reason."

A flood of panicked rushed through me. I couldn't let that information get out. I put on a poker face. "Yeah, I failed my mission."

Bruce looked my direction, his eyes burning into my soul. Just like his younger ward, Bruce had dark hair with blue eyes. His eyes weren't as piercing as Dick's, but they were still blue. Bruce's were darker, though, more chaotic.

"Athena," He stared at me like he knew everything in the world, "This is not new news to me. I have known since even before you returned," he raised his eyebrow at me when my breath quickened, "don't worry, I didn't tell him."

I frowned, letting my poker face drop a little. "You don't know anything."

"When you left, I have to admit, I was just like Dick. I refused to believe that you left for any other reason than out of the selfishness of your own heart," Bruce said it so nonchalantly, which made it kind of sting, "but, despite my own anger, I let my detective side get the better of me. Actually, we both did."

I sighed. "Tim knows too?"

Bruce simple nodded. "We were going to go after you, at first. Tim wanted to storm into the League of Assassins temple and take you away. But, we interrogated enough assassins. We found the truth."

"I was never told that you were asking around." I was never told anything...

"After a short look through all of Ra's files, we confirmed the truth. It was only after a few months since you were taken. Tim and I both assumed what was happening to you, but we knew we couldn't go after you," Bruce let a few wisps of emotion get through, "I'm so sorry that we didn't go after you."

During that entire insufferable time, some part of me had hoped that I would be rescued. But, in the end, I wasn't. Some part of me wanted to blame someone else for it.

"You can't tell Dick."

Bruce solemnly nodded. "I know that. After we found out, Tim and I agreed that the decision to tell him was up to you or he could go after you."

"And he didn't."

"I won't tell him."

Bruce didn't nod in agreement or even show disagreement. "Why not? Doesn't he deserve to know?"

I glanced down at my feet, trying desperately to clear my head and my feelings. My chest felt tight and I had trouble swallowing. It felt like an allergic reaction, but I was perfectly fine. I slowly looked up at Bruce.

"If you know why I left, then you know why I can't tell him," I said.

"You left because Ra's threatened you with Dick's identity," Bruce stated, "but the point still stands. It's his identity, so shouldn't he be aware of the danger against him?"

How could I make him understand? "You don't know what Ra's is capable of, no one does. What do you think would happen if I did tell him? Ever since Dick met me, have you noticed how much more brash he's become? If I told him, could you really be sure that Dick wouldn't do something...bold?"

"Its his threat to avoid. Why are you hiding it from him?"

"Bruce, if I told Dick that I had left to go with Ra's to save him, then the blame would lift from my shoulders to Ra's."

Bruce nodded. "Yes, because the blame is his, not yours."

"I know," I exhaled slowly, "but, Dick already saw what Ra's did to me. Right now, he doesn't consider Ra's a target because he believes that I chose to go get myself tortured. But, if he found out that I, in fact, had no choice in the matter, he would want Ra's head."

"So, you're trying to protect Ra's Al Ghul? The man who threatened Dick and tortured you for months?" Bruce sounded a little more angry than normal.

I ran my hand through my hair, clenching it in my fist. "No! God no!" I exclaimed, trying to clear the stress of my situation. "I'm trying to protect Dick. That's all I have ever wanted to do. If Dick went after Ra's with a vengeance, Ra's would reveal Dick's identity or worse. And then all that torture I went through would be for nothing."

"But, you can't be sure Dick would go after him."

"You're right," I calmly lowered my hand and raised my gaze, "but that is a chance I can't take. The truth about why I really disappeared can't be told to him directly or he would let out all his harbored anger out on Ra's. He has to discover it himself, so the blame won't be so heavy.

"When I left, Ra's warned me against telling anyone the truth. Ra's is smart, powerful, and organized. I trained with him for most of my life and I know what he's capable of doing. He never issues empty threats. My return to the League of Assassins can only be explained in vague details and the reason behind my return must never be told."

Bruce clasped his hands behind his back, rolling my explanation over in his head. Finally, he spoke. "I do not think that Dick is as uncontrollable as you think he is. I also think you are overestimating Ra's power. However, since you did subject some awful tortures, I will uphold your decision. Just let me ask you one question."

His expectant blue eyes met mine. "Go ahead," I said with some anxiety.

"By withholding the truth, you are protecting Dick. You are always protecting Dick. But, who is protecting you? When you were taken away and beaten to near death, who was there to guard you? Do you not believe that Dick wants to protect you too?"

I took a deep breath, thinking over his question. I knew what I wanted to answer. I wanted to say that Ra's was justified in his beatings and that everything that happened, I deserved. I had made gigantic mistakes, letting myself get pulled between two different sides. Ra's had said that I had chose Batman and that's why he did what he did. But, I didn't believe that was true. I hadn't chosen either. I had been stuck between the good and the bad and I couldn't make a choice. I left Ra's mission for me in the dust, making him think I was on Batman's side. But then, I left Batman to go with Ra's. I had been punished for making the wrong choice, but I hadn't even made the choice. No matter which side I leaned towards, a part of me still went the other way. I couldn't make a choice.

And that's why I justified what Ra's had done.

"My life is not worth protecting," I said strongly, believing with every fiber of my being that my statement was true. Bruce was taken aback, either by the sudden sureness in my voice or by my reply. He didn't try to argue, he just stood, shocked.

I grabbed the bag I had packed and walked out of the Batcave.

I rode to my old safehouse. I dropped the bag and collapsed into the hammock. I rocked it slowly, letting the old feeling remind me of a more simple time.

I let myself imagine that I was back in my mother's arms. Her velvety brown eyes made me believe that I was safe. She rocked me back and forth, mumbling a song to me. Although her singing was horribly off key, it still sounded beautiful to me.

The memory was an old one. Going back to that moment, it was the first memory I had. My mom had held me and sang to me all night while we waited for my dad to come back. At that time, I was too young to understand where he was. But with the knowledge I had now, all the pieces started to come together.

My father was probably off with my uncle. Thinking back, it was the part of my life where my family and I had lived in a big house. My mom held me as we cuddled into a velvet couch next to a large fireplace. The more I thought about it, the more worried my mom had seemed. In our gigantic house, it was just us two as we waited for my dad to get back from whatever criminal activities him and the Joker had been doing.

My memories were starting to get corrupted. I had thought since my parents loved me so much, they must've loved everyone else in the same innocent way. But, it wasn't true. My dad had been a murderer and a gang leader. And my mother had enjoyed living off the blood money. My parents weren't good people.

I didn't have many memories of that grand mansion of ours. Not very long after that, I remembered packing up and fleeing which ever city we had lived in. That's when my life of living in the woods and traveling from town to town really started. I now knew that was when my dad had desperately tried to escape the evil he had done.

Nice try, Dad, I thought, but evil people can never escape what they've done.

~~~~~Chapter Ten!!!! I hope that the explanation Athena gave makes sense? I tried to convey it and I hope it makes enough sense lol. Are any of my readers Jason fans? Because you can bet your asses that him and Athena are going to have a formal meeting very soon! Be prepared ;)~~~~~~