Alec remembers running, he remembers panting out of breath and when he look down to his hand, it trembles like his whole body is shaking into fear. But he didn't know what was he feared of. Was he running away from something? Was he running away from someone? Again he remembers the same dream, the dream of him running into the streets or more of an alley. Then he remember seeing a guy in a dark. He knew from his figure its a guy. Tall as he is, not the usual guy he kept seeing. His hair is dirty blonde and sometimes Alec felt shudders came towards his spine whenever he looked at him. He remembered smirks on his face but incomplete, he kept seeing vision but blurry as a moving picture.

Then, thud. A swing hit his head hard and he woke up from his nightmare. He was on the floor, his shirt is wet with sweats and so does his forehead and his whole body. He felt his head pounding like the hit was real, it felt like he really was hit in the head that he absentmindedly moved his finger on the side of his head to feel it but nothing was there except a scar from his surgery. He traced his fingers through the scar and then the same warm feeling of bursting in his chest came.

He folded his knees towards his chest and hugged them while hiding his face on it. He sobbed not knowing the reason of his sadness. Probably the pain he felt or maybe the failure of his brain to remember but one thing for sure, he wanted to stop everything. To stop dreaming about this unknown event that he's dying to know. He looked at the clock by his night stand and it shown four in the morning. He groaned in frustration and kept his head down leaning his forehead on his joined knees.

How he wished he is at home right now so he could escaped through the vineyard and seek his peace but he's no where near home and if he want to call his mum its still three in the morning in Italy and he doesn't want his sudden call wake up his whole house and have his mother worried to death for him. So he sucked it up and headed for the shower. He needed nice warm shower after what happened, his whole body tensed and his head throbbing in pain.

After the shower he put on his clothes and decided for an early breakfast. He made some toast and egg with a cup of coffee brewing from the coffee maker. He read through his books preparing for today's class while he ate and when he finished, he popped two Advil for his headache. Tom arrived sharply at seven to take Alec to his class which started at eight but because of London's remarkable traffic, they had to get out earlier than expected. Tom was surprised when he was about to knock the door Alec had already open it and with his sling back on his right shoulder, he greeted with a smile. "Morning sir." He said cheery.

Alec could only smile and answered back weakly since he felt exhausted still from his early wake up call. Tom sensed the tiredness in his eyes and his face is exhausted looking like he has been up all night. He opened the car door for Alec and he slide in without a word. He went to the other side for his driving seat and drove to Alec's college.

Ten minutes in the car, Tom keep glancing through his mirror and saw Alec leaned back against the window of the car with his eyes closed. "Sir, is everything okay?" Tom asked Alec and he opened his eyes almost immediately. "Y-Yeah, just a headache. I didn't get enough sleep." He said and leaned back his head on the headset. "I could turn around and you can skip today's class. You still seems unwell and maybe you should rest." Alec shook his head answering him and when he noticed Tom couldn't see his responses due to focusing on the road he spoke, "There's no need for that, I'm fine. Its better after the medication." He nodded not wanting to prolong the conversation and continued with their journey.

Magnus House

"Rafe! We're gonna be late! Come on!" Magnus shouted at the bottom of the stairs and not long after a paddle pat of feet running down the stairs. Rafe was wearing his school uniform and around his neck covered with a scarf that never match with his style. No matter how cold it got, he hated scarf around his neck even though Magnus forced it on him. But this morning fashion style gained Magnus attention as he saw his eight years old son running down with it and passed by him like he didn't exist.

"Woah, woah, woah, hold up." He said pulling Rafe by his scarf and he tugged backwards with his back facing his dad. "What is this?" He asked turning Rafe around and he kept his gaze on the floor. "Uhm, dad if I need to explain this we won't have much time. Just like you said, we're late." Rafe has become smarter and wittier each day and its driving Magnus crazy. "Funny, I don't remember raising a failed artist and I have to be a fashion police so early in the morning. That is cashmere and its prohibited for school, what if you lost it like you lost the my Armani watch I gave you. You know how it made me feel."

Rafe still looked down on the floor not wanting to gaze upon his dad. He knew he felt guilty for losing the watch but he remembers putting it back in the room but when they look back its gone and Magnus was furious for the rest of the week babbling about not respecting money and his hard work. Magnus crouched on his level and pulled away the scarf from his neck but he never felt heartbroken when he saw bruises, bluish-purple and spotted on the side of Rafe's neck. "Rafe what is this?" He asked, tracing his fingers around his son's neck. "Its nothing dad." He slapped Magnus' hands away and shocked him the most.

"Unless you have a kinky girlfriend or have decided a career in escorts you better start telling me who did this to you?" Magnus asked stern in his voice, "What's an escort?" He asked and Magnus forgot he spoke to an eight year old instead of an eighteen years old. Truthfully, Rafe's mind is like an eighteen years old instead of and eight and sometimes he forgot he was talking to a kid not to an adult. "That is something for you to know in maybe ten years from now, stop changing the topic and tell me who did this? Who's kid should I whoop their asses with my cane?"

Magnus collided his fist together and Rafe rolled his eyes back for the threat, "Dad, you don't have a cane. Plus I handled it already, can we go please." Magnus sighed knowing Rafe has been a bravest boy he ever met. Taking things in his own hands and not wanting Magnus to over protective over him. But since the incident past two years he couldn't help but feeling protective over him. He remembers how they spend almost every night for months sleeping together since Magnus couldn't accept Alec's death and so does Rafe.

But what anger him the most is the Lightwood refused to let him had his closure. Refused to take his calls and even changed their numbers and surprisingly told Magnus to just stay away from their family. He couldn't fight it off even though he has all the power to change their world upside down if he wanted too but guilt overcome him for blaming himself on Alec's death.

"Dad, Dad." Rafe called him, shaking his shoulder not aware he was zoning out to space. "Yeah, lets go." He stood up and they both headed to the car for the start of their day.

Alec spend the day busied with his class. The event yesterday earned questions from most of the people at school but mostly from the crowd of blondes and brunette hovering him like he's a piece of wedding flower bouquet. He started to get irritated when the specific bimbo's that the school was well known off kept following him around and locking her arm around him.

"Clara would you stop please? I'm getting a headache." He yanked his arm away and headed for his next class which she had to let him go. Alec figures she did this so people thought they were together but people are stupid to think that and the topic became hot at school. Luckily for Alec its almost five and he just kept staring at the clock for the class to end. Social economics is so boring yet he needed it for his grade and its only second day and he is already not in the mood to study. Probably due to lack of sleep he became even more irritable and grumpy as ever.

He slammed his book into the locker and headed out to the main door where Tom already waited there with a frown on his face. Now both of them had a grumpy look but Alec is more irritable grinch while Tom is much like Max his dog feared of what stupid thing he will do. He came closer and ready to get inside the car when Tom stopped him. "She's insane and she's gonna ripped my head off if you didn't answer her call the next three minutes." He handed him his phone which only then Alec realized he forgot his at home by the table.

He slide into the car and Tom closed it after he got in. They didn't even managed to leave the compound when Tom's phone rang and Alec took a deep breath before he answered the call button. But before Alec could say a word, his mother already shooting bullets into his ears. "ALEXANDER GIDEON LIGHTWOOD! You better have some good explanation on why you haven't answered you phone since yesterday after Tom told me you were at the hospital! You lucky your father hides my passport otherwise I would be there to pull your ear to made my point! Why aren't you saying anything?! ALEC?!"

Alec sighed before placing back the phone on his ear, "How can I speak where you won't let me mother? Non sono un bambino, for favore." ( I'm not a child, please.) He sighed again rubbing his temple which now aches like more gradually in last couple of hours. "I see, I guess I'm not worth to know your condition and concern about your health anymore is it." She said and seconds later she sobbed in tears which made Alec felt more guilty.

"Mama, I'm sorry okay. I got a headache yesterday and I fell asleep right after the hospital. Then I left my phone at home this morning. I forgot I had one." Alec sighed after he explained himself and he heard his mother groaned on the other line. "How many times do I have to tell you to bring it with you all the time so if anything happened you can call me or Tom." She stated which made Alec's groaned more in pain, simultaneously rubbing his temple with his finger.

"Its called being forgetful mother, I really have no time to spend discussing this matter, can we do this in much better time. I'll call you okay." He heard his mother was finishing her last breath when she answered tiredly agreeing to him. He glad for her wanting to end the conversation rather than continuing it. "Ti voglio bene mamma." ( I love you mama) He said, "Ti amp anch'io piccolo." ( I love you too baby.) They both ended the call and Alec noticed they had arrived for a while since the door to his side was opened by Tom and he waited for him to come out.

He gave his phone back and waved him goodbye before he opening the door with his key. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay sir?" He asked, Alec turned still had his hand on the door knob with a tired smile on his face. "Yes Tom, thank you, have a lovely evening with your wife. Say hello to Tori for me." Tom smiled grinning ear to ear upon mentioning his beautiful wife, "Will do sir, have a lovely evening." Alec waved him off and entered the house which later he heard the car drove off and silenced invaded the area of his house. He placed his bag on the floor and removed his sweater before he slumped his body on the couch. He was too tired to even go upstairs and later his eyes droop and sleep invaded him.

Alec remembers seeing faces. How weird since the faces keep changing, from black hair to blonde to salt and pepper hair. That was the only detail he got from his dream and seeing the faces are quite blurred, that was the only detail he focused on. He remembered being on the floor, raising his bloody hands. He knows it was his hand and his breath hitched in fear, panting under the blurry vision. He saw a figure, stood tall in front of him, carrying a bat? He heard voices but he didn't understood what it was. Then there's the knock.

It felt like the scene being repeated as the knock sound came over and over as the guy stood before him swinging the bat towards him over and over again. He felt the pain of the belt on his leg as the knocking continues. He can't remember how but suddenly he woke up and he was back in his house, on his floor. His breath hitched as he was panting. He leaned back on his couch hugging his knees closed to his chest as he sobbed in tears.

He failed to keep his mind at ease as his tears keep flowing. His sobs turned to hiccup and he hated when he cried so hard, his head throbbed in pain and his chest tightened making his breath quickens. Then there's the knock again. His head turned to the door and after few second the knock came again. He gulped his throat as he doesn't know who is it behind the door and he didn't know what time is it even. His eyes lurked around the living room and landed on the clock, it shown almost one in the morning. Has he been sleeping that long, he wonders.

He wiped his tears away and stood up making bee line towards the door. He cleared his throat while his hand run through his hair making it less messy like he just woke up from sleep. He unlocked the chain and turn the doorknob around making a slight space for him to peek outside. To his surprise was doctor hottie at his front door looking as hot as ever. Stood in his graciousness wearing a white plain shirt and jeans with his black leather jacket hugged his perfect muscular tone body. His hair combed back and his face is quite mesmerizing cause its prove how someone so perfectly sculpted can walked around looking this perfect.

A small smile formed on his lips as Alec eyeing him up and down, "Are you gonna let me in or are you still want to drool over me?" He asked and Alec cleared his throat shifting his gaze towards the ground. He opened the door wider to let him in. He entered while his head looking around the small house with Alec stood tall behind him. They were practically almost the same height only Alec is taller and he always the tallest among anybody else. He doesn't know what to say or do so he just hugged his body waiting for him to say something.

"I guess you forget then." Alec furrowed his eyebrow at him with a questioning look and he smile standing in front of Alec only few feet away. He placed his hand in his pocket while Alec still hugging his body looking rather tiredly. "Our dates? I waited for like an hour and you didn't answer your phone so I thought you stood me up. I gotta say Alec you are the first one who ever did that to me, I was mad at first but then I realized you might get hurt so I decided to come and make sure you okay." He explained and Alec still hasn't met his eyes, he kept staring at the floor as he cursed himself for ditching their date and being forgetful.

Perks of being brain damaged, you suffered from amnesia, constant pain, and not too mention, limited memory saving disk in his head. He sighed and closed his eyes tight before he open them again and look at the doctor, "H-How did y-you know my address?" He asked. Matt walked closer to him but the moment he took a step closer, Alec took a step back.

"Its called patient's record and you are my ex-patient? Sorry if you feel violated, I need to find you and make sure you are alright." He said tilting his head to the side examining Alec awkward behavior. He wasn't the first warm Alec who drool against his appearance, he was the cold, isolated and fear was all over in his eyes. He look like wounded puppy for him and all he wanted was to comfort him. "I-I'm s-sorry for that, I forgot. I'm okay though." He said as he made his way towards the kitchen passing by the doctor and headed for the fridge. His throat is dry and he needed something for relieved.

"Can I offer you anything?" He asked as he poured down the apple juice in a glass and gulped it down. His face scrunched on the sour taste of the apple juice and he saw Mateo walked towards him to the kitchen. He stopped by his side and grabbed the glass from his hand and placed it on the counter. Alec eyed his hand handled the glass, long and perfect manicured nails. He kept his gaze towards Mateo's hand on the counter when he felt fingers brushing his hair behind his ear. He then felt the closeness between them is merely an inch apart. At this point Alec's arm already brushing against Mateo's hard rock abs. He felt him leaned forward and tilted his head to Alec's crook of neck, brushing his tip of nose on Alec's neck and bringing his lips close to his ear. "Tell me what's wrong?" He whispered.

Alec shut his eyes tight before he opened them and smile at him. "Nothing, just tired. I'm really sorry for ditching our date. I'm not ready for this, I need time to think." He said and move his body away from him. He headed to the couch and picked up the small pillow on the floor, plumping them before he placed them back on the couch. He felt the presence of Mateo behind him leaning against the wall staring at him. Alec ignored him and continued picking up his stuffs when he felt a hand brushed against his hand as he bend to pick his sweater and he look up to see Matt's eyes locked in his. His piercing blue eyes stared deep into his soul and he can't help but to stare back.

"Alec, if you needed a friend I'm here for you. Just tell me what's wrong so I could help you." He said as Alec released his hand from his grip and sat on the arm of the couch looking at the floor. They both stood before each other almost an inch away and Matt waited patiently. "Not unless you can bring back my memory. I'm struggle with pieces of my vision from my past and its not beautiful as I imagined it would be. I'm having hard time to sleep and my nightmares keep me awake all night. I'm so tired and I can't remember anything." Alec leaned his body forward and slumped on the floor hugging his knees closed to his chest, back into the position he was before. He felt comfortable like this and he could hide his face from behind his folded arm so Matt can't see his tears.

He felt shuffling and he could feel Mateo couched down to his level placing his palm on Alec's forearm, Alec look up meeting his hazel eyes with the blue orbs of his. Tears flowed on his cheek as he blinked. He traced his finger on Alec's cheek wiping away the tears and bring it to the back of his neck, he then pulled Alec towards his chest and he let him continue his cry there. 

A/N : Got time to write more when I was at the hospital and I needed a break from my life. Sorry for keep disappointing everyone around me. I hope you guys still reading this.