The storm is making climbing ten times harder than it needs to be.

I'm still running on that caffeine-like high I'd acquired back in the tunnel.

But the ice makes my joints lock up. It makes my old wounds burn like they're brand new. Everything hurts.

But none of it matters.

I'd promised many people that I was going to find Thomas and make him pay. Or to fulfill the promise to Andelain the Mage, find Thomas and shove my dagger up his ass. Though, I still don't think that'll be effective.

I'm making better time today than I have this whole time.

Maybe turning eighteen awakes some kind of new power in magical creatures that had no idea they were magical until a few months ago.

Maybe I just really want to shove my dagger up Thomas's nose.

Either way, I move up the mountain in a determined daze. My hands find holds faster than my brain can process them.

A few times, they're not as sturdy as I think they are and they crumble under my hands. I have to catch myself on the dagger, even as the wind tries its best to blow me off the cliff-face.

I grit my teeth and yell into the wind.

Nothing is going to stop me from making Thomas pay. Nothing is going to stop me from going through that portal.

I don't care if Ava's vision comes true and Thomas tries to kill me. I'm going through that portal.

I hold onto Rae's warm smiles in my mind. I hold onto them like they're the only things that exist anymore.

My promise to her outshines all others. My promise that I'll see her again. My promise that I will always fight to come home to my family.

No matter what I have to do. No matter the pain I have to go through. No matter the death I have to cause, I'm keeping my promise.

I will see Raelynn again.

The wind keeps getting worse the higher I get.

At some point, the sun creeps out from behind the clouds, but that doesn't stop the snow and the ice.

My fingers bleed, and sleet turns to water on my skin, everything is slick and cold.

My arms and legs tremble.

The high starts to wear off. Soon, there's no adrenaline left. I'm running on fumes.

I haven't had a good meal in a long time. Or fresh water. I have little strength left. But I have to keep going.

I'm almost to the top. I can feel it. I can feel this trial coming to an end.

Or something is coming to an end.

But at least it'll be over. Even if I don't know what it is.

My fingers are weak around the dagger. I check that my current holds are steady before pulling the dagger back.

I slam it forward, into a crack in the cliff-face.

Before it can hit, the rock crumbles under one of my feet.

I scramble for another hold with my hand before I can lose my balance. My chest heaves. I look up into the sleet.

Even through the dark clouds looming above me, I can almost see the top of the mountain.

I can't stop now.

But I'm struggling to find another place to put my dangling foot.

I slide it along the wall, searching for somewhere sturdy, but everything is just out of reach. I can step back down and go another route, but it'll be difficult.

My legs tremble as I try to find the foot hold I'd been standing on before this one.

The sleet is soaking through my layers and into my skin.

My teeth chatter and my eyes burn.

Everything hurts.

I just need one good spot to put my dagger and this will be way less nerve-wracking.

But right now, I can't find anywhere sturdy to stand long enough to plunge my dagger into the cliff.

I take gulps of icy air and it rattles around in my lungs, making an ache spread through my rib cage and up into my shoulders. My old bullet wound burns.

It had been so close to healing finally before Cat dug her finger into it. Now, it screams at me as I rest weight on that arm while I try to wedge my dagger into an opening.

The wind buffets against me.

I cry out and flatten myself against the mountainside. My hair is streaming into my face and getting in my mouth. The sleet has soaked it so it's matted to my face. I can't get it out of the way, and it's making it hard to see what I'm doing, even with the sun blazing behind me.

"Come on!" I shout, but it's lost to the wind before it even reaches my ears.

I've been doing a lot of praying since we lost Rae, but it always feels like it just floats into nothingness. But I pray now. I pray I'm not about to die.

After everything, I don't want to die.

No matter how hopeless things got at times, no matter how much I blamed myself, no matter how worthless I felt... I didn't want to die. Maybe I deserve to be punished. Maybe my mother was right about me being weak. But I have things to hold onto. And I don't want to lose those things.

One slip is all it takes to never see my friends again. One mistake. One wrong gust of wind.

I wait for the wind to ease up before pushing myself up again. I take steady breaths. I can do this. I've got this. It's not like I've never been rock-climbing before.

I went through a phase where it was all I wanted to do. I'd been hitting the climbing wall with Will every day for a while there.

But in the gym, Will was there to catch me if I fell. And I had a rope. And I could get down anytime I wanted. And if I fell, it wasn't thousands of feet down where I would become the grossest pancake ever.

I grit my teeth until it feels like they're about to break.

"Will," I rasp and hoist myself up the cliff. "Rae... and Erick, I guess," I mutter. I find a foothold and look up into the sleet for a place to put my dagger.

"Alex and Izzy." I plunge the dagger into the opening.

I pant out a breath as I hoist myself up, "Ava and James." My foot slips and I'm left dangling by the dagger and my other hand.

The sleet soaks under my fingers and my grip starts to loosen on the dagger hilt.

I sob, "Nick and Charlie." My arms tremble like a chihuahua as I pull myself up to a new foothold. My breath escapes in a woosh as I laugh, maybe a little hysterically.

"Cat and Shay," I whisper, pulling the dagger free.

There's no weak spots above me to put the dagger.

It's a magic dagger, though. So, surely, it can go in without a crack or weak spot, right?

I'm nearly at the top. I can see it. I can see the edge where the cliff ends and it flattens off.

All I need to do is put the last of my strength into this swing, right? That doesn't sound too hard.

Even if my magic is 'suppressed', it's clear I've shown super strength before. I can do this.

I glance at the blue-gem in the dagger hilt and nod. "Danny," I breathe.

I plunge the dagger towards the cliff face with all of my strength.

The blade digs into the rock, then the tip of the dagger screeches as it snaps to the side.

My hand slips with it and the momentum makes my body slam into the cliff-side.

"AH!" I cry out as my bullet wound slams directly into a protruding rock. My fingers on my other hand lock up around my handhold as the rocks under my feet crumble.

I'm left dangling by one hand as my feet scramble for anything to hold me up.

No. No!

The wind slams into me and the sleet under my fingers makes me slide on my handhold.

I dig the dagger tip into the cliff, hoping it'll find a hole.

But it doesn't.

A gust hits me right as I'm slamming my foot into what should be a foot hold.

I lose my grip on the rocks and slide down the mountainside before hitting a tree and careening away from it.

I'm falling through open air, towards the unforgiving ground.