Chapter 44

Love_ can it synonym possessiveness????

 Right he loves me and I don't mind going through the pain and hardships for the person who loves me. I am sure he'll get back to me lovingly and politely one day when he trusts me completely. And all the pain is what I had promised myself that I'll take it happily as my punishment. God please bless me with courage for that.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Texas (flashback over)

 “Yeah you are right, he loves me and anything hardly matters after that.” I assured more of myself than Ben.

 “Good. I am happy for you. Take care. And one more thing. Try to make for the party. Robert is very good at it.” he left giving me a pat on my shoulders.

 Two days for the finals and I am somewhat prepared for them. I am through with the syllabus but yet I don't feel confident about it. So Essme pushed me to come to the party with her. She believes I am over worked up and need a break from the whole study thing. This party was one heck planned for the same.

 I finished my daily call with Dexter before leaving for the thing. I did not tell him that I was going to the party as I knew how disappointed he would be with me because of that. Neither did I want to go but Essme was quite adamant today giving no heed to my excuses of not going.

 Since I was not in a mood of the party I dressed up very casually in my pink shirt and a pair of loose trousers to avoid contact with my skin which was still burning

 The party as bragged by Essme was great with loud DJ, professional lightings, hot crowd with girls swaying their asses and boys moving their boots with rhythm of the sexy numbers playing.

 I felt completely out of the place as I though being under dressed was even now used to being at crowded and happening places like this. Only place I would now get comfort was the window besides my bed at Dexter's place which opened to a garden with minimal grass fenced with small bushes of office flowers which bloom every morning and die down by the sunset as it portrays another day spent with Dexter. Few butterflies also add to the life and if I am extremely lucky I could even see a pair of Squirrels chase each other. That is the most enjoyed sight at Dexter's place.

 “Forget studies and Dexter. Try to enjoy.” Essme said as she handed me a drink. The music, the crowd and the name of Dexter brought chills and shivers as I did not think twice before I downed the glass of drink in one go.

“You are getting better.” Essme said, “It was fast” and handed me another one which too I downed quickly feeling better now.

 I stepped into the dance floor bringing into the life the same Pearly who was lost when she took her vows and moved my booties, swayed my hips forgetting my life and what it had bestowed upon me. I danced to the rhytmn of the fast number 'Cyclone' by 'Baby blash ‘ followed by ‘On the floor’ by Jennifer lopez

 When the music changed to slow to vanilla Twilight by Owl city I stopped.

 “You were good huh!” Ben complimented.

 “Thanks. I had a nice time.” I said honestly.

 “Can I have the pleasure of dance with you?” the browns which now turned into golds looked at me a little nervous as if I would reject it but I was good with the couple of drinks I had gulped.

 I took his hands as he gripped it tighter for he feared for me to run.

 He took me to the floor where I saw Sandra with her friends. I looked at her and then Joshan and suddenly went uncomfortable “sorry not now.” I excused.

 “What?” Joshan asked shocked.

 “Feeling dizzy.” I mumbled.

 “You are lying” he said catching me red handed.

 “I can’t. I don't want to. Please let me go.” I pulled out from his grip and went to the stool at the bar where I could still see Joshan and pain in his eyes. It hurt me so bad. I don't know why. How badly I wish I shouldn't have come?

 Joshan then pulled Sandra from her group of friends and kissed her full on, his eyes always resting on me.

 I went to Essme who was full on making out with Robert. I asked to change the beat and we danced a little more on the dance numbers. I couldn't keep up with dancing as I was out of practise and left the dance floor soon, sitting on a couch.

 “How do I get back your trust?” Joshan asked sitting besides me at a fair distance.

 'Think pearly think' and I replied. “Be faithful to your girl and you win back my trust. Excuse me.”

 I left the place there in not having the courage to face Joshan again. I also needed to go back home incase Dexter calls up after his late night return from work.

 I hired a cab and reached home for a surprise as Stacie and Cairo were waiting at my place for a night out.

 “Vow you are back so early.” Stacie cooed, not being angry a bit because of my absence.

 “Yeah was not enjoying. Was tired too.” I stretched myself.

 “Don't lie. We know you were missing Dexter.” Cairo commented making me run to my phone.

 “Why? He called up” I scrolled my log bar to check his calls. What if he comes to know I was at a party?

 “Relax miss. Desperado. he didn't. Just kiddin” Stacie patted on my shoulders.

 “So you guys here?” I raised an eyebrow.

 “Your mom called up. She was worried that you were going overboard with household work, her illness and studies and even not going for the party. She invited us here.” Stacie explained.

 “Great so how do we get going?” I asked excitedly, the alcohol was still working inside me.

 “We thought you are tired.” Cairo said lying on my bed.

 “Come on I guess this is our last night together. Let's get the most of it.” I said pushing Cairo to get up.

 Stacie pulled me to face her, “Why last night? We'll be like this for ever. We won’t drop out from our friendship. Even you dare not.” she said warningly.

 “Chill baby. Relax. I only meant that I would go to Florida later.” I managed to cover the glitch.

 “Pearly baby we can come to Florida anytime to have a nightout with you. Dexter is equally a friend to us” Cairo said easily.

 It brought me to think about my life in Florida. What if Dexter doesn't maintain the lovey dovey cover. What if he looses his temper and spanks me in their presence....”No No” I blurted out.

 “What no you don't want us to come to your house in Florida?” Stacie asked shocked.

 “No I mean what if you two flirt with him so much. I cannot share him with any one.” I smiled changing the tense mood.

 “Possessive much.” Cairo hit me on my shoulder mockingly.

 We were back to our normal being later. I was myself sharing random jokes, playing guessing games. We also watched our favourite Tom and Jerry cartoons with popcorns and muffins.

 “Hey Stacie so you had your first kiss?” Cairo suddenly asked.

 Stacie blushed.

 “With Deren?” I asked with mock horror.

 “How was it?” shut up Pearly who else would it be?” Cairo nudged me as she switched off the cartoon. We took our round pillows and turned towards Stacie who now sat on the bed post with pillows behind her and a cushion on her laps on which she was fiddling with her fingers drawing the outline of the doll printed on it imaginably. Shyness and blush both going hand to hand in her expression.

 “DON”T look at me like this” she shyly said as she hit us playfully with the same cushion and then squeezing it back on to her laps.

 “Stacie, now you gonna share or shall I call up Deren for the details. He would most happily narrate it with a bribe of having to get to talk you at this restricted hour.

 “Restricted hour?” I asked confused.

 “Since he was a player we didn't let him have an easy go with Stacie. We set in a lot of rules and regulations for him to be followed if he dated Stacie.” Cairo explained seriously.

 “Vooooophhh that sounds interesting and the best part is he catered to it.” I said smiling heartily for the first time. I mean Deren, he's so dominating and he gets dominated by his girlfriend's bestie is quite amusing.

 “Yeah and not calling after midnight is one such rule and incase it’s an emergency he has to call me first before reaching Stacie.” Cairo said coolly.

 “Great guys. I missed the fun. I miss you so much.” I said honestly again as I was having fun after I don't know how much time.

 “Great but we know that hot ass of Dexter won't let you miss us. But now I am more interested in the first kiss. Then we are coming to you.” Cairo looking at blushing Stacie gestured her to continue.

 “We went to this farm house which is at the outskirts. It was more than a month of our relationship and the no touching rule no longer existed.” Stacie started.

 “No touching?” I asked confused.

 “Rule no 5. No touching till a month of relationship and rule no 7 was no kissing till 2 months” Cairo said disturbed of being interrupted.

 “Oh sorry! Continue Stacie” I said.

Stacie narrated her bit-------

 “So we were sitting together our elbows brushed each other, one of his hand on my shoulder, then his phone rang with Paulina's name flashing on the screen.”

 “That bitch Paulina” Cairo shouted.

 “Yeah the same bitch Paulina who called me on the day of my acceptance to being his girlfriend threatening to kill me if I don't give up Deren. He did pick the phone and put in on the speakers.

 She very seductively offered to spend a night with him at the Giordana's the famous 7 star hotel, no strings attached mere fun. Deren answered her with a No but it was enough to upset me.

 He cupped my face in his hands pulling me look at him. He wiped the tears with his hands and asked me to look into his eyes, “If you love me you can read my eyes. Do you think I still am the same player? I love you Stacie. I honestly do. From the day of your birthday, all I have been thinking about is you. You are in my dreams, you are in my thoughts. Please trust me. I only have words to earn your trust. I wish I never was a player.”

 I only kept staring at his eyes blankly reading the truth and love which I left lucky to be the one having it.

 “Damn this no kissing rule. I wish I could kiss you and make you feel the butterflies, the crackers and make you believe that you are the chosen one for me and I love you.” he turned around upset and if I am not mistaken I did see the wetness in his eyes which he was trying to hide to prove that he a strong masculine character but failed miserably, reaching my heart.

 “Deren you cannot kiss me as per the rules but can I kiss you to tell you that I trust you." I couldnt help but do it.

 He looked at me shocked not able to realize the reality of the words he’d heard. His greens were boring into me filled with lust and love. I don't know how I was completely taken, mesmerised, I wasn't myself now, invaded by Deren and his love. Our lips met. He touched them with his lips and waited. It was like a satin on my lips and there were explosions in my body. I pressed mine hard and harder but he was slow and smooth. He wriggled his tongue. I don't know why but I instantly opened my mouth tasting him. He tasted jellies, butters, love and god knows what. I had butterflies creeping all over my insides and I went rough. It all happened in a flicker and for how long that I don't remember but I do know that I got a memory of a lifetime. Even if he breaks up I am okay with it because I know I love him, truly love him." Stacie narrated the entire thing with love, lots of love in her eyes.._ -------Stacie completed with a sigh.

 "“Yeah even if we are distant later on we feel that we have lived our lives in that very moment.- the perfect shot” I said remembering my first kiss with Joshan.

 “My god Pearly you have finally fallen for Dexter and it’s a bad one.” Stacie cooed.

 “Really Pearly so are you whipped. I am coming to you too, your first night. Be ready.” Cairo shouted excitedly.

 “Yes yes your first night Pearly. How was it? Did you enjoy? Did it hurt?”  Stacie more hyper than ever intruded.

 “Calm down! Calm down Desperate pussies!” I mocked trying to avoid the conversation.

“Come on be a sport now, tell us about the first night.” Cairo insisted.

 “Hold on girls I slept on my first.” I said blushing or trying to blush.

 “Don't tell me you slept on your first night.” Stacie said shocked.

 “Remember the drink my cousin Sam gave and it had its side effects and I was left sleeping on my wedding night.” I said in my most innocent way.

 “So when did you pop your cherry?” Cairo asked now impatiently.

 Not wanting to disclose my thing, I faked a fantasy, “Oh it was wonderful, romantic, nice and heavenly.”

 “Details ma'am.” Cairo pouted.

 So it was time for my best made up face from my bestfriends. I continued with my fantasy.

 “It was in Vegas. The honeymoon suite was big and most beautiful any girl would dream of with her prince charming. Dexter pulled me with both my palms. Whenever he wants me to satisfy his physical desires you understand he holds me like this” I said shivering a bit. He would always pull me with both my palms, scaring the hell out of me but I managed to be shy with a combination of cheerfulness in front of my friends.“He laid me on the bed, then starting from my hair which he loved, now they were brunette kissed me, then forehead was kissed slowly and softly then he brushed my nose with his lips and then the lips were kissed with passion.”

 “Shall I add both your hearts beating wildly.” Stacie interrupted.

 “Yeah he went slow and soft, undressing me bit by bit, kissing me and complimenting each and every part of my body and then love flowed and I lost” I tried to make it as acceptable as possible; my lie.

 I could no longer control the tears that were built behind my eyes and rushed to the bathroom.

 I opened the tap for full flow of water and cried in that voice bitterly that my cries won't reach them. I wiped my face and went back to my room to watch their faces open.

 “What?” I asked scared that they have caught my lies.

 “Why did you go to the loo?” Cairo asked sarcastically.

 “I was getting wet for Dexter.” I played with them.

 “I think I should also rush. I am also feeling wet.” Cairo continued playing on.

 “Shut up you are perverting on my husband.” I nudged on Cairo’s shoulder.

 And then we trio went into fits of laughter enjoying our moment together.

 I felt like shit lying with my best friends but did I have a choice? My life itself was a pile of shit.

''''''''

Rest of the week went in a blur. All the party and the get together thing helped me to focus in the studies. I was doing well with practical and studies. I sometimes went to the classes too not very uncomfortable about meeting people. Though I wasn't the same Pearly but yes I did try to live that short span, my dad had borrowed from Dexter and live up to my dad's expectation by performing better. I also met Joshan and Sandra couple of times greeting them casually. Sandra was now assisting Joshan in his studies.

 Today was my last finale followed by Final practicals which was four days later and Sandra met me on my way to the carpark.

 “Hi Pearly.”

 “Hi Sandra”

 “Little time?” she asked

 “Sure.” I agreed.

 “I and Joshan are getting engaged. Thanks to you.” Sandra said in a heart whelming tone.

 More happy than shocked I wished her “Congratulations. I am so happy for you two” and hugged her.

 “Thank you so much. I knew you would love to know this. You were the one who pushed both of us together.” Sandra said excitedly. Happiness was twinkling in her eyes.

 “So tomorrow on special demand of friends we are organising a small party at Carlton Palace and YOU haaaaaaaaavvve to come.” Sandra invited me. “Actually both I and Joshan wanted to invite you together but I somehow sneaked out to you. I wanted to invite you personally and thank you. If it wasn't you, I wouldn't have given a second chance to our relationship. So you have to come.” she was so excited that she said all this in one breath bringing a smile to my face.

 “Sandra did I ever tell you that if I were continuing in Texas, we would have been great friends.” I told her honestly.

 “I am sure we would have been. We still are.” she cooed “and I am looking forward to see you tomorrow to celebrate.”

 “Sure” I agreed in front of her wherein mentally I knew I was not meant to be a part of that celebration and was skipping it out. I was happy for Sandra and Joshan and they were perfect for each other.

Even people around say that they are love birds and are smiling all the while that it seems unreal.

 “Hey Pearly” Joshan greeted as he kissed on the temples of Sandra affectionately.

 “See you at the party then?” He asked boring into my greygreens bringing shivers to my spine as if I have been caught of a lie.

 “Yup” I said trying to look anywhere else but not the deep browns who can extract the truth out of me.

 “You cannot lie to me. Your yes is a No.” he said holding my elbow so that I do not leave.

 I wanted to leave to run away but that would create a doubt in Joshan's head so I stayed, “Actually umm I’ll try, the studies and my mom.”

 “Pearly please why are you doing this to me? Heaven's sake we were best friends. Please trust me now.” he pleaded as Sandra left excitedly to invite few of her other friends.

 “I trust you Joshan. Fine I'll be there if it convinces you and if it is what you want.” I said.

 “I'll wait for you Pearly” he said for the last time still trying to poke whether what I told was true.

 I was pretty sure that I was missing the party as only few days were left for the practical and then I have to go my personal hell at Florida and want to make most of the time available with my mother, not knowing when I 'd be able to meet her next..