**Chapter 19**

**Ethan's POV**

I followed slowly behind Sophia, my heart aching as she thanked Keilan for watching her kids. When she entered her Range Rover, a happy smile lit up her face, and I forced a smile in return as she wished us goodbye. I stood there, watching as her vehicle turned the corner and disappeared with Keilen patting my shoulder.

"Did it help?" Keilan asked as my eyes remained fixed on the road.

"Yes, it did," I said softly. "I need to head home and deal with my mom."

As I walked towards my car, Keilan called, "Wait, Ethan," and ran to catch up.

"My friendship with Maria ruined my life," I blurted out, tears streaming down my face.

"What?" he asked, with confusion in his voice, but I was already getting into my car.

I left the parking lot before he could say anything more. The drive home felt like a blur, my mind numb and my heart heavy. By the time I reached my door, I was a zombie, tears still falling from my eyes.

"Ethan, you're home early," my mom greeted me, her voice initially cheerful until she caught sight of my face. Concern replaced her smile as she hurried over to me.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"Her voice was gentle yet urgent as she wrapped her arms around me, sensing my distress.

I collapsed into her embrace, feeling utterly drained. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I struggled to find the words amidst the weight of my emotions.

"I found out why Sophia left me," I managed to choke out, my voice breaking with each syllable.

At that moment, my mom's phone rang, its usual tone for Keilen cutting through the heavy silence of our home. She hesitated before answering, her eyes never leaving mine as she held me close.

"Yes, he's here," I heard her say softly into the phone, her voice laced with concern and protectiveness.

"Ethan, what happened with your conversation with Sophia?" Her tone shifted slightly, a mix of disdain and sympathy as she said Sophia's name.

"She left me because she thought I was cheating on her with Maria," I confessed, the words catching in my throat as fresh waves of sorrow washed over me. I clung to my mom, seeking solace in her comforting presence.

"You did nothing wrong, Ethan. You were not with Maria, right?" Her worry was palpable, her gaze searching mine for reassurance.

"No, Mom. I was celibate for years because Sophia was saving herself for marriage. Only once, and that was the night I proposed to her," I admitted, my voice raw with vulnerability. Confessing the truth felt like lifting a heavy burden from my chest.

No one understood that all I wanted was to be with Sophia. Sex didn't mean anything to me because her company and laughter made celibacy all worth it.

"I loved her more than anyone could imagine," I began, my voice trembling as I recalled the depth of my feelings.

"Ethan, I know," my mom interrupted gently, brushing a tear from my cheek with her thumb. "But you can't change the past."

"I hate that word—past. Everyone talks about the future as if it's so great," I muttered bitterly,  frustration and sadness welling as I stood up to leave.

But my mom held me tightly, "Wait, Ethan." My mom's voice was firm yet compassionate. "You have your answer now, no matter how painful it is. Sophia was young, only twenty, and you were twenty-two. Your relationship moved fast, heading towards marriage."

"It was love and real," I insisted, my voice wavering.

"But it was fast, and you were changing so much for her," she continued, her tone gentle yet firm. "Sophia should have talked to you instead of assuming the worst. You can't go back and change what happened. She seems happy with her family now, and you deserve to be happy too."

"I see how happy you are with Julia. I can tell you love her," my mom said softly, a fond smile touching her lips. "Don't let Sophia's memory overshadow your happiness."

I sighed heavily, the weight of her words sinking in as I fought against the lingering doubts and regrets that threatened to overwhelm me.

"Ethan, you should go take a shower to calm your mind. It helped you a lot when you were younger," My mom's suggestion broke through my thoughts, her voice gentle and coaxing.

Nodding silently, I peeled away from her comforting embrace and walked to the bathroom. The warm, familiar tiles greeted me as I stepped under the steady stream of water. It cascaded over me, soothing and cleansing, yet unable to wash away the turmoil inside.

As steam filled the small space, I closed my eyes and let the hot water cascade over me, melting away the tension in my muscles. My thoughts swirled around Sophia, Maria, and all the what-ifs and could-have-been.

The steady stream of water mirrored the turmoil inside, its warmth contrasting with the cold ache in my chest. Tears mingled with the water, slipping down my face unnoticed as I stood there, lost in thoughts that threatened to overwhelm me.

Sophia's revelation had hit me like a sledgehammer. How could I have been so blind? Maria, a friend from my past, someone I had never considered a threat, had been the catalyst for Sophia leaving me. The pain of that realization cut deep, mingling with the guilt of not understanding sooner.

But as I stood under the shower's spray, I began to see things with a clarity that had eluded me for years. Sophia and I had rushed into a relationship that was intense and consuming. We were young, barely out of our teens, and yet we had tried to build a life together as if we were already grown.

My mother's words echoed in my mind. "It was too fast, Ethan. You both were  so young, and you were changing so much for her."

She was right. Sophia came from a world of wealth and privilege, while I had struggled to make ends meet. In my insecurity, I felt like I was constantly trying to prove myself worthy of her. It was a silent competition, based on my perception of wealth and status, one I knew my destiny had me to lose.

But now, years later, standing alone in my shower, I realized that our separation had been a blessing in disguise. It forced me to confront myself to understand my worth beyond material things. I had grown wiser and more reflective.

I no longer saw relationships as a competition or a validation of my status. Nor did I depend on someone for my happiness, and I learned to love myself as I am.

And then there was Julia, kind and understanding, who accepted me without judgment, regardless of my bank account or past errors. She listened to me, talked with me, and saw me for who I honestly was. With her, there was no need for pretense or posturing. She accepted me, flaws and all, and that acceptance was a balm to my soul.

As the water turned cold around me, I welcomed the sensation, letting it pierce through the haze of emotions. It was a physical reminder that I was still here, full of feeling and growing. The fear and self-doubt that had clung to me for so long began to dissolve, washed away by acknowledging the truth.

The simple act of acknowledging it. No more hiding, no more running. I would confront my past, embrace my present, and build a future where I could be true to myself and the woman who had shown me a different version of what real love could be.