3. au clair de lune
[in the moonlight]

The night from four weeks back certainly brought in some new dynamics to this unnamed affair between Jeon Jungkook and Kim Lalisa.

For Jungkook specifically, he had found himself a true friend; someone he could confine himself in. Truly, he would say Jimin, Jihoon and all the members of his cult were like brothers to him ㅡ but he always felt insecure for sharing his grief with them. There was a reason in particular of maintaining that rigid persona, after all.

His father had forced himself into wearing the sealed mask of ego over his personality and shadow the inner child in his heart. Problem was however, he hadn't an idea of letting it out.

And for that, Kim Lalisa was the one who stepped in to help him express the lost memories of his once precious childhood, without a fear of being judged. His mind often raced back to the brief times he would spend with her, bringing over pancakes late at night, which would mostly end up being burnt due to her silliness. He'd still soulfully eat them without a single complaint which was take the girl by shock.

Not just because of the pancakes, but because of this new side of him she was getting to see. A softer, caring side that was otherwise caged up behind his insensitivity towards the servants and cult members.

Maybe Lisa wasn't just a friend anymore to him; if it weren't for the weird bell-like sounds that had been ringing in his head, alerting his conscience.

As if to say, that she's the one;

His one true soulmate.

But he still wasn't convinced yet because he never experienced something like this before.

Maybe there was a way to find out; by confronting himself what he felt for her. So he did interrogate himself, by standing in front of the mirror. But the turn of events led to a deeper realizationㅡ

First, he was in love. Very, deeply, eternally in love.

Second, his love was forbidden. He wasn't supposed to develop any feelings for care for her.

It was venomous, for it could lead to their destruction. Because he was a beast and she, well, as pure as a dove. She had had to face so much abuse as a child, as a woman.

She mostly avoided to talk about it, but from her actions and behavior it could be easily understood that she had been tormented day in and day out, for years. Although brave to put forth her opinions, she always lived in a fear; hiding in that very corner of her room, sometimes even breaking out into panic attacks when someone suddenly touched her, or accidentally brushed against her skin.

Amidst all these reasons, one thing was certain, that Lisa felt safe around Jungkook. There were countless number of times she'd thank him for saving her life that day.

His heart palpitated, skipped beats even when there was a single thought, a glimpse about her. Yes, that's how insanely strong the feeling of love was.

It scared him ㅡ probably every strong person has a weakness, isn't so? Maybe this was why he had been avoiding her for a few days, hoping the feelings would easily fade away.

They only grew stronger by each passing second, how tragic.

On the contrary, the silent treatment wasn't doing justice to Lisa either. Weirdly she felt some worms creep up to her stomach, itching to know where she went wrong. She had exhausted herself running around him, trying to start a conversation but he would always dodge off, excusing him for a call or any nonchalant excuse he could find.

"Why are you ignoring me?" The girl aggressively pulled Jungkook's wrist, startling the boy as his eyes widened in shock.

"Huh?" Was his only reaction.

She loosened her grip around his arm, before letting go of it as she looked away, mumbling "did I do something?"

"Oh, no, no. There's nothing to worry about, it's something else...uh, the missions, yes. A little stressful." Jungkook tried to catch up, making sure Lisa wasn't going down a guilt trip.

"I am worried for you."

"Why?"

"Because I..." Lisa slowly looked up to meet his eyes; a certain pain and longing being reflected in them but soon after turned her gaze away, meeting the coldness that consumed his onyx eyes.

"You won't understand." She soon started to walk away, but couldn't proceed further as Jungkook caught her hand.

"Do you want to perhaps...uh...go out with me?" He asked, as she slowly looked back, only to find his lips quivering.

"Sure." She smiled.

~•~

"Put this on, it's cold outside." Jungkook advised, pulling up the cap of the hoodie over Lisa's head. She absolutely loved it when he did these little things for her.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

The car pulled up near an observatory towards the heart of the city. The prolonged rains had ruined some parts of its roof, but the place looked as magnificent as before.

"You like the stars, so I thought maybe we could go stargazing." Jungkook whispered in a low voice as Lisa nodded, jolting up in joy.

"Try looking into it." Jungkook gestured his hand, having Lisa take the glance of the night sky from the optical telescope.

"The stars look so beautiful...oh, I see a fee constellations! There's some part of the milky way too!" Lisa exclaimed, before letting Jungkook take a look of the unrealistic sight that extended beyond several light years.

"Come here, there's a lot more to discover." Lisa squealed like a baby as Jungkook waved his hand, signaling her to come over the podium that focused all of the starlight in the sphere shaped dome.

There were a number of constellations as far as the human eye could see; some were geometrically meaningful, whilst some were just random clusters of stars which, if looked closely, created unique patterns.

"See those stars over there? They look like a bunny. Just like you." Lisa snickered, mumbling at the last part.

"I heard that." He smiled, trying to take note of where she was pointing at.

"Ah I see now. I'm more handsome though."

"Being narcissistic, aren't we?" Lisa voiced a heavier baritone, before joking off making the boy laugh too.

"It feels like heaven here. The stars, you, me." Lisa nodded, agreeing with Jungkook, feeling a word sensation caused by butterflies fluttering like enthusiastic dancers in her stomach.

It was just the two of them in the huge observatory; their voices echoing back after hitting the walls.

"Jungkook, should we do something that...couples do? Only if you're okay." Lisa hesitated. Jungkook stood baffled, a tinge of shock highlighted his face.

Couples? What does she want me to do?

Do couples kiss at these places? Is that what she wants, is it right to kiss her?

Jungkook tried to figure out what she was asking about, contemplating the number of ideas that crossed his head.

"Uh....Jungkook?" Lisa's lips curved into a soft smile as his eyes met hers; he cupped her face before leaning in, pressing his lips to hers as she was visibly taken aback from what he just did.

Jungkook closed his eyes, brushing his lips against Lisa's was perhaps the most soothing thing to do in the world; he wanted to give her the sweetest, loveliest of all kisses, to express how much he adored the crazily precious being that melted into his arms.

Pulling apart, their eyes looked in separate ways to avoid embarrassment.

"I just wanted to hold hands." Lisa shunned him, by breaking the ice. Jungkook wanted to bury himself six feet under the ground for his stupid act.

Exactly, couples hold hands. He must've made her so uncomfortable.

"But it's okay, I liked it though." Lisa stepped on her toes, before pecking his cheek that had now turned into the deepest shades of scarlet.

Her eyes squinted up like a baby as she smiled widely, looking at the bunny faced human in front of her.

"You're so cute I wish I could keep you in my pocket." Jungkook said, as Lisa giggled under the charming sky before clasping his hand tight.

Reaching back home past midnight, Jungkook flopped down on the bed as Lisa went to change in her room. Heaving out deep sighs, he touched his lips, feeling the sensation of Lisa's touch again. He wished he could convey to her what he felt at that moment, maybe he could just get rid of these pulsating heartbeats by confessing to her.

"You aren't asleep yet?" Lisa walked in, settling herself on the bedroom floor beside him.

"I haven't had a good night's sleep for awhile now."

"You don't sleep?" She asked, shocked. Maybe this explained quite the reason his skin had gone pale and his eyes bloodshot over the months.

"No," he answered. "My mind well, it has a scared capability. I find myself falling into an endless dark tunnel without an escape whenever I try to fall asleep."

"You're afraid of your dreams?"

"Yes." He answered, fidgeting with his fingers.

The words came like a shock to Lisa. Just when she was starting to think they were getting to know each other, she came to a realization she had only grazed him on the surface.

There was more to the mystery behind this man, these hidden details that someone might discard as strange, but not for Lisa. She found them intriguing, it only developed an interest to get to know him more. Maybe help him develop a trust with her just like she has for him.

"I think it was around seven years back. When my appa passed away, the responsibility of Busan landed in my hands. I was very young back then, there wasn't much I could comprehend about." He paused, before bringing his hands to himself, trying to confront his inner demons for the first time.

"It was then that I had my first dream. And it just went on, taking deeper, darker truths. They were mostly about war, as if meaning to warn me against this system and working together to resolve conflicts. I've tried to stop them, to a point that I've suffered breakdowns and gave up, altogether."

"So you haven't been sleeping for seven years?"

"Hmmm." He shook his head in affirmation. "It was difficult at first, to keep myself distracted all night when silence spoke through the shadows of the citylights. Eventually it turned into a habit."

"Its only deteriorating your health. You might die out of exhaustion."

"If this ends my misery, so be it."

He bit into his nails, unsure if his words even made sense. Lisa stroked his hair ever so lightly, as if meaning to comfort him.

Jungkook wanted comfort against the evil that resided in his head. And she was going to give him all of it, whilst she had the time in her hands.

"Maybe I could change that." Lisa suggested, palming his cheek.

Despite the cold weather she noticed, Jungkook was sweating profusely, his hands slightly shivering, seemingly turning numb.

"I don't want it. I'd probably go to hell given all the felonies I've committed."

"I'm sure hell doesn't want you yet."

"Wow, thanks. That sufficed some sorrow buried in my heart."

"I don't know much about psychology Jungkook. As far as I have learnt from books and famous philosophies, I do know that people like you, who can hide the most traumatic and darker moments of their lives are the strongest persons in the world. Because nothing can crush them; their willpower speaks up for them. It's just like a matter of time, as you say. Soon enough, you would shine brightly too, like those stars."

"But what about the conflict of the provincesㅡ"

"Have you tried to question your inner conflict before meddling with others'?" Lisa's questioned back, as his head hung low in silence.

His silence spoke the volumes.

"I can understand Jungkook. Maybe not all of it since we've lived different lives, but please don't force yourself to relive the stuff you've been wanting to forget your whole life. Because if anything, we can't change the past. But that can't stop us from becoming the better versions of our present."

"You're only making it hard for me. It's not like I'm uncomfortable sharing it, but when I wish to forget everything I've been feeling towards you, your words of wisdom seem to attract me more. They just glaze me, as if we were meant to fall in love."

"Jungkook..." Lisa stammers, but he placed his finger on her lips.

"I love you." He finally acknowledged, quietly.

There was a silent nod from Lisa, tears brimming her eyes. She stepped up close to him, capturing their lips for another kiss.

He picked her up in bridal style style, laying her down before hovering over her, his lips travelling to her neck as she dug her hands into his hair, pulling him close than ever before.

They were soon out of their clothes, breathing heavily as sweat proliferating their bodies and their limbs tangled with each other, his hand wrapped protectively around her naked waist, shielding her against all the nefarious energies the world possessed.

She snuggled close into him, kissing his lips tenderly as if it was her last day to live.

"I love you too, Jeon Jungkook." She whispered against his lips before holding him tight after the first time they made love that night.

｢A/N」

Observatories as date locations are the best in my opinion, but it's such a disappointment that they're rarely thought about in fictions nowadays =/

Please enjoy reading this long chapter! (Notice how I evaded writing smut by actually skipping details XD)