#LIT10

Pagkauwi sa bahay ay kumain ako ng dinner bago pumanik sa kwarto. I sighed before closing the door of my room. Sumandal ako doon at nag-muni muni.

I scowled and pouted when I saw my unfinished plates on my desk. Ginulo ko ang buhok ko at humilata sa kama.

"May gagawin pa nga pala ako," pagod kong sabi habang nakadapa

Five minutes.

Just give me five more minutes.

I stayed in bed for about ten minutes before deciding to go up. I checked the time and it's already half past eight! Ang bilis talaga ng oras.

Bumaba muna ako para magtimpla ng kape bago tapusin ang schoolworks ko. I put my ice coffee on the side of my desk. Umupo ako at sinuot ang salamin. I then proceeded to finish my plates.

Nagpatugtog din ako ng music habang gumagawa. I groaned when my paint overlaped. Now, I have to start all over again. I crumpled my bond paper and took another one.

Mahigit dalawang oras bago ko natapos ang plates ko. I got my glass of coffee and took a sip from it only to realize it's already empty.

Ang bitin pero okay lang dahil nagising naman ako kahit papaano. Coffee hits harder at night.

I fixed my desk and removed unnecessary trash in it. Pinasok ko ulit sa loob ang mga ginamit kong pens, paint brushes, markers, highlighters sa pencil case ko.

I looked at my painting behind me, contemplating whether or not to continue it or create first a book cover for my friend, Irene. I'm not really in the zone right now to paint since I've been working on in eversince morning until aftrnoon. In the end, I decided to make the book covers.

I opened my laptop and went to adobe photoshop. This is the tool I often use as a fine arts student. This is where I created the design for our magazine cover project last time. What I like about adobe photoshop is that it's very convenient. At first, I didn't know how to use it. You just have to play with it then soon, you'll get the hang of it. It's just practice and it takes a lot of patience, like a lot of it.

I searched images on pexel to avoid copyright. Naghanap ako doon ng pwedeng gamitin. Since one of her stories are sci-fi, I picked an image that fits the genre. I also used a font that can capture the readers' attention. There's only three elements in a book cover. The image, title, and the author. Simple as that.

I spent a few hours making the cover. I decided to do one first and send it to Irene. Aalamin ko din muna ang feedback niya bago ko tapusin ang iba.

"Finally," I sighed. "One down, four more to go."

Sumandal ako sa upuan ko at tinignan ang gawa ko. I placed my hand over my chin and nodded.

"You did well today Sadie. Now, you deserve to rest," I said while patting my head. I saved my work before closing my laptop. After that, I went to bed.

The next day, I saw my friend Benjie while I walk on the corridors of our school.

I smiled and waved my hand to him...but he didn't see me. Nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. He's wearing a gray hoodie but his eyes remained on the floor while walking.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa kanya. Nagulat ako nung hindi niya ako napansin. I stopped and held his arm.

"Hey."

He flinched. Nagtama ang mata namin. "Oh, hi...Sadie."

"Okay ka lang?" I worriedly asked

Kita ko sa mukha niya na hindi siya okay. I know him so well. I know when he's not okay.

He smiled. "Oo naman! What made you think that I'm not?"

I blinked twice. My hand slipped away from his arm. "Wala lang," mahina kong sabi at tinignan siya sa mata

Napansin kong parang may pasa ang mukha niya. I held his chin and turned his face to me. "Ano'ng nangyari diyan? Bakit may pasa ka sa mukha?"

He immediately looked away. "Ha? Pinagsasabi mo girl?"

It's not noticeable from afar but when I take I closer look, it's pretty obvious. He even tried to cover it with make-up, a concealer perhaps.

My eyes widened when I saw a red mark on his neck, it looks like a bruise. Mas halata iyon.

"Your neck, may sugat ka din. Saan galing 'yan?" tanong ko habang tinuturo iyon

He swallowed hard. "Ito, wala 'to. Hickey lang 'to—este, I mean. Nasugatan ko lang sarili ko. Huwag kang mag-alala," he nervously said

He tried to cover it using his jacket. Hindi siya ngayon makatingin sa'kin.

"Benjie—"

"Una na ko," paalam niya at mabilis na nilagpasan ako

Sinundan ko siya ng tingin. I stared at the ground, thinking possible reasons why he's acting like that. He seems off.

First Irene, now Benjie?

I shrugged my head and sighed. Inayos ko ang backpack ko sa likod at dumiretso nadin papuntang classroom.

Pagkadating sa loob ay nakita ko siya na tahimik lang na nakaupo sa armchair niya. Binaba ko ang bag ko at tumabi sa kanya. Hindi manlang niya ako tinignan. He's busy doing his plates. Panay ang bura niya sa gawa niya. He looks stressed and anxious.

"Kai-kailangan mo ng tulong?" I calmly asked

Umiling siya at ngumiti sa'kin. "Hindi na sis pero salamat sa offer. Patapos nadin ako," sabi niya at bumalik sa pag gawa.

I noticed that his knuckles were bloody. Some skin were torn off. Maslalo akong nag-alala para sa kanya. I wanted to ask him about it but I don't know how. Umupo nalang ako sa tabi niya, sakto ay dumating nadin ang prof namin.

Habang nagkaklase ay pasulyap-sulyap ako sa kanya. Tulala lang siyang nakatingin sa harap. His mind is elsewhere.

Pagkatapos ng unang klase ay nagulat ako nung pinaiwan siya ng prof namin.

"Mr. Ortega. You stay," our prof announced

The rest of the students went outside for lunch. Natira ako sa loob at tinignan si Benjie pero dahil kakausapin siya ng prof namin ay sumunod na ako sa labas.

I stayed beside the door. I leaned my head on the wall while waiting for him. I heard inaudible sound inside the room. Hindi ko alam ang pinag-uusapan nila pero parang pinapaglitan si Benjie.

Ilang sandali ay lumabas nadin siya ng room. Umayos ako at nilapitan siya.

"Ano'ng nangyari? Pina...pinagalitan ka ba?"

He smiled weakly. "Wala, pinagsabihan lang, about lang sa plates ko."

My lips parted.

"Naku, wala yun. Tara na sa cafeteria. Gutom na ko," sabi niya at pilit na ngumiti

Nauna na siyang naglakad. I smiled weakly and followed him. Nagtaka ako dahil biglang nagbago ang mood niya...but deep inside I knew that something is wrong. Alam kong pinipilit niya lang ngumiti sa harap ko para itago ang problema niya.

"Benjie, kung may problema ka. Pwede mong sabihin sa'kin."

Hindi siya sumagot. Bumaba ang mata ko sa sahig. "Pero okay lang din kung ayaw mo...basta andito lang ako, handang makinig."

Pagdating sa cafeteria ay nag-order kami ng pagkain. He was about to pay but I held his arm. "Libre ko na," I insisted

Bago pa siya magreklamo ay nagbayad na ako ng pagkain namin. Binilhan ko din siya ng paborito niyang milktea.

"Ano'ng nakain mo Sadie? Panay ang libre mo sa'kin ah. Baka may kapalit ito ah," he chuckled

I smiled widely. "Wala 'no. Ano ka ba? Minsan lang ako manlibre kaya sulitin mo na."

Kahit papaano ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko dahil napangiti ko siya.

"Oo nga eh..."

Nilapag na namin ang pagkain at sabay kaming kumain. May mga iba din kaming kaklase sa table namin.

"Benjie, alam mo ba. Sumali ako sa art contest tapos nagulat ako na may cash prize," sabi ko sabay subo ng kanin

His eyes widened. "Talaga? Magkano naman? Kamusta painting mo?"

"Three thousand pesos yung cashprize. Malaki nadin yun! Hindi pa ako tapos sa painting ko eh. Nagpagawa din kasi sa'kin si Irene ng bookcovers niya. Ewan ko, mas nag-enjoy ako gawin yun kaysa sa painting ko," sabi ko at marahang tumawa

"Goodluck! Support kita diyan. Sana manalo ka. Advance congratulations nalang din!" he smiled

"Loka. Wala pa nga eh...tsaka," I paused and drank from my tumbler. "Ang daming sumali. Nakita ko din paintings nung iba at ang gaganda. Parang wala akong laban," I chuckled bitterly

"Sus! Ikaw pa ba? Ikaw ang pride ng UST—"

"Ang OA mo na," I cut him off

He laughed. "Minomotivate na nga kita eh."

"I know and thank you for that. Gusto ko din talagang manalo. Gagamitin ko yung pera pambili ng essentials ko for podcast tapos yung matitira ay pang-dorm ko."

"Tindi ng pangangailangan ah," he teased

I pursed my lips. "Well, hindi naman...gusto ko lang na galing sa sarili kong hirap at pera yung mga bagay na gusto kong makuha. Syempre nahihiya din ako manghingi kela mama. Alam mo naman.."

"Oo, parehas lang tayo."

May bahid ng lungkot ang huli niyang sinabi. Pinanood ko siya habang kumakain. Hindi na kami muling nag-usap pa hanggang sa matapos ang lunch.

"Uh Sadie. Una ka na sa room. Punta pa kong lib," sabi niya

I nodded. "Ah okay, sige."

We both parted ways. Dumiretso na ako sa classroom. May nalagpasan ako na isang room na nakabukas. Bumalik ako at sinilip iyon. Nakita ko ang mga estudyante na nakaupo habang nag-papaint sa malalaking canvas.

"Hi Sadie!"

Lumingon ako sa bumati sa'kin at nakita si Ate Nicole. I smiled and waved my hand at her. "Hi!"

She raised her hand, gesturing me to come inside. Tumingin ako sa paligid kung may teacher ba bago ako pumasok.

"Vacant niyo?" I asked her

She nodded and continued to paint. "Oo. Eto, tinutuloy ko yung painting ko."

I watch her as she paints. Parehas kaming fine arts student, yun nga lang ay nasa higer level siya. Graduating na this year.

"Woah! Ang ganda! Sumali ka din ba dun sa art contest?"

"Yeah. Walang specific reason. I just want to give it a shot."

She dipped her brush on a cup filled with water before applying it at her painting.

"Grabe, ang effortless," mangha kong sabi

Medyo nainggit ako ng slight pero alam ko namang mas may experience siya sa'kin. Isa din siya sa mga hinahangaan ko.

She giggled. "Salamat. Hindi ko nga din talaga alam bakit pa ako sumali eh malapit na finals namin."

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya dahil buong atensiyon ko ay nasa painting niya. It's so detailed and flawless. Chef's kiss.

"Ikaw ba? Sumali ka din 'no?"

I got back to my senses when she asked that question. "Ha? Ahh...oo."

"Asan yung gawa mo? Can I see? I'm sure it's beautiful!" she enthusiastically said

I pressed my lips. "Hindi ko dala eh. Sayang sana pala dinala ko para nag-paint din ako dito kasama niyo," iginaya ko ang paningin sa room. The students are all focused on their works and I must say, all of their paintings are stunning!

"Sayang nga. Sabay ka sana sa'min."

I gulped. "Lahat ba kayo dito sumali?"

"Hmm oo ata. Ayun yung mga kaklase ko, sumali din," sabi niya sabay turo sa grupo ng estudyante sa dulo

Napatango nalang ako. Ang dami nga talaga nila. May pag-asa kaya ako?

I suddenly felt guilty because I can se that everyone of them are really determined and passionate. They're putting so much effort in their paintings and...I must do the same too.

"Sige Ate Nicole, una ko. May klase pa kami eh. I wish you the best of luck!" I cheered

She smiled, eyes on her painting. "Sige. Bukas dalhin mo yung iyo tapos sabay ka sa'min."

I smiled. "Sure!"

Tumalikod na ako at palabas na sana ng room pero huminto ako at humarap ulit sa kanila.

I cleared my throat. "Guys!"

They all stopped and turned their heads on me.

I smiled widely. "Kayang kaya niyo 'yan! Goodluck sa'tin! Go UST!" I yelled

They cheered using our school chant. Tumawa ako at nakisabay sa kanila.

Nang mag-uwian ay nag-meet kaminni Irene sa labas ng campus. I waited her outside the main building.

"Sadie!"

Lumingon ako at nakita siya. I smiled and walked towards her.

"Tapos ko na," sabi ko at pinakita sa kanya ang book covers na gawa ko. I transferred it from my laptop through my phone

"Talaga?! Ang bilis ah," kita ko ang pagkislap ng mata niya sa sobrang excitement.

I smiled and showed her the covers that I made.

"Oh my God, these are fire!" napahawak din siya sa phone ko

I gave my phone to her so she can see it better.

"Thanks!"

"Sana sinend mo nalang sa'kin. Baka gabihin ka na masyado pauwi."

I looked at the sky and it's already turning orange. Ang ganda ng view dito sa UST.

"Syempre gusto ko malaman yung feedbacks mo in person. Para kung may kulang o mali ay masasabi mo sa'kin in detail," sagot ko

I looked at her and she's still in awe while staring at the pictures.

"I tried my best tho. Hindi ako confident sa photoshop skills ko pero sana nagustuhan. I'm still an amateur afterall," I casually said and shrugged my shoulders

"What are you talking about? This is more than enough for me. Maganda naman yung gawa mo eh. It's simple but eye-catching."

I smiled widely. "Aww thanks Irene," I said in a cute voice

"Airdrop ko nalang," she said and took her phone out

While waiting, I asked her something about our friend Benjie.

"Uh Irene..."

"Oh?" she said, eyes on the phone

"May nakwekwento ba sa'yo si Benjie?"

Her brow shot up. "Huh? About what? Parang wala naman. Bakit?"

I held my arm and sighed. "I'm just worried. Nakita ko kasing may pasa yung mukha niya tapos parang may problema siya."

Napalunok siya sa sinabi ko. "D-did you ask him?"

"Sabi ko lang andito ako kapag may problema siya," malungkot kong sabi

Her lips twitched. Hindi na siya nagsalita at binalik na ang phone sa'kin.

"Uh, sige. I'll go first. Minnie is waiting for me at the dorm."

My lips parted. "Ahh okay, sige, uhm...see you tom!"

Tipid siyang ngumiti. "Alright. Thank you ulit dito Sadie. Libre nalang kita sa susunod. Bye!"

Tumalikod na siya at nagsimulang maglakad palayo. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin.

"Irene!" I shouted

Ilang metro na ang layo namin sa isa't isa. Lumingon siya sa'kin.

"Don't stop writing okay? Hihintayin kong ma-publish ang libro mo at pipila pa ako sa book signing mo!" I shouted with all my heart

She smiled and gave me an 'ok' sign before turning her back. Tumalikod nadin ako at nagsimulang maglakad.

***

I stared my unfinished painting in front of me. I wore my earphones and chose a playlist before I began. I was in the middle of my painting when I heard a loud noise beside my room. Tinanggal ko ang isang earphone at pinakinggan iyon.

It's my parents, fighting.

I slowly stood up and walked closer to the walls. Nilapit ko ang tainga ko at pinakinggan sila.

"Ano pa bang gusto mong gawin ko Ariel? Hirap na hirap na nga ko sa salon dahil ang liit lang ng kita natin eh, tapos pinapaaral pa natin si Sadie. Alam mo namang ang mahal ng tuition sa school niya," it was my mom's voice

"Kaya nga gumagawa ako ng paraan para makatulong sa pamilya natin eh. Gusto ko ulit magtayo ng negosyo—" sabi ni papa

"Oh, tapos sa huli palpak naman?! Ang laki ng sinugal mo para sa negosyo mo tapos ano? Tignan mo nangyari sa'tin? Ang laking pera ang nasayang!"

"Hindi ko naman ginusto ang lahat eh! Bakit sa'kin mo lahat sinisisi ang nangyari?! Nandito na nga ako para tumulong eh, ayaw mo pa."

"Ang hirap kasi sa'yo ay hindi mo pinapahalagahan ang pera eh!"

Pumikit ako at lumayo sa pader. I don't want to hear them anymore. I sat on the floor and went back to my painting. I wore my earphones again and maxmize the volume until the noise from the other room slowly disappear.

I took a deep breath. I dipped my brush on the paint and gently applied it on the canvas. Kumanta nalang din ako para mabawasan ang bigat sa dibdib ko.

I started to paint fast. I don't care if I stay up all night to finish it. Basta sa isip ko ay kailangan ko itong tapusin.

Sana...sana mapili ang gawa ko.

***

After a week, I submitted my painting. Hinihintay ko nalang ang resulta at iaannounce iyon sa susunod na linggo. I just hope and pray for the best.

"Nervous?" Irene asked

"Slight," sabi ko at ngumiti

"Mananalo ka niyan, tiwala lang."

I really hope so.

"Malapit na midterms natin," she sighed. "Pero okay lang kasi sembreak na after nun."

"Hay salamat, makakapag-relax nadin ako," si Benjie

"Yes! Alam niyo bang two weeks na akong walang update sa story ko dahil sa nalalapit na midterms," Irene said, frustrated

"Balak niyo sa sembreak?"

"I'll lock myself in my room and write," sagot ni Irene

Tumingin sa'kin si Benjie.

"Wala...bahay lang din ako. Ewan, baka bumisita kami sa relatives ko."

He nodded. He seems okay now compared last week. The old Benjie is back. Sana talaga ay okay na siya.

Buong linggo ay wala akong ginawa kundi mag-aral para sa nalalapit na midterms. I'm already at my second year that's why I really have to study harder.

While studying, I keep on checking the fb page for the announcement of winners. I can't help but to get nervous every now and then. I tried my best to concentrate on my studies even if my mind is thinking about the contest. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako sobrang kinakabahan dahil hindi naman siya world wide competition. It's just a contest within our school.

Days went by and our midterms has started. Kahit nagsasagot sa exam ay iniisip ko padin ang contest. Nag-aral naman ako ng mabuti kaya thank God dahil halos lahat ng napag-aralan ko ay lumabas sa exam.

Midterms ended and I'm now patiently waiting for the announcement of winners. Today is the day. I keep on refreshing the feed, hoping to see my name together with my work pop up on the screen. I bit my nails as I wait. Nagpapatugtog din ako ng pop song sa background para mabawasan ang nerbyos ko.

Muntikan ko nang mabitawan ang phone ko nung may bagong post ang fb page ng UST. Biglang tumigil ang puso ko sa nakita.

'Congratulations to Sariah Deinielle T. Nuevo for winning first place in Art Contest for AgriKonomiya 2021!'

My lips slowly parted. I couldn't speak. Parang nanigas ang katawan ko sa upuan ko.

I got back to my senses when I hears Hayley Williams' high note. Nirefresh ko ulit ang feed ko baka sakaling namamalik mata lang ako.

"Did...did I really win?!" I said in utmost shock

Tama ba itong pagkakabasa ko? Pangalan ko ba talaga ang nakasulat sa certificate? Oh my God! Someone pinch me right now!

I slapped myself and looked at my phone again. Napahawak ako sa bibig ko pagkakita sa pangalan ko. I didn't even notice that I was bombarded with tons of notifications from my friends and classmates. They mentioned me under the post, congratulating me. I still couldn't believe it! My two bestfriends also messaged me.

I looked back and forth to my phone and my room. Pinatong ko ang phone ko sa desk pagkatapos ay tumalon sa saya.

I dived in my bed, burried my head on my pillow and screamed. Kinuha ko ang stuff toy ko na si ice bear at niyakap iyon ng mahigpit.

"I won! I did it!" I said in victory while squeezing him

Bumangon ako sa kama at kumanta.

"If you wanna run away with me, I know a galaxy and I can take you for a ride. I had a preminition that we fell into a rhythm where the music don't stop for life," I sang my heart out

I jumped around and banged my head in every direction. I dance to the beat of the music. I looked at the mirror and pretended to be a professional singer.

I mumbled the rest of the lyrics since I don't memorize the whole song. I braced myself for the chorus part.

"I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight. I need you all night, come on, dance with me. I'm levitating!"

I repeated the chorus part again. This is just the perfect song for my mood right now. I feel like I'm levitating! It's such a happy and lively song.

"You can fly away with me tonight. You can fly away with me tonight. Baby, let me take you for a ride. Yeah!"

Nagulat ako nung biglang bumukas ang pinto at tumambad doon si mama.

"Ang ingay mo nanaman Sadie! Rinig ko yung paa mo mula sa baba. Malapit na gumiba 'yang sahig mo oh!"

Kahit na pinapagalitan ako ni mama ngayon ay hindi niya padin masisira ang mood ko. Ngumiti ako at hininaan ang music.

"Oops! Sorry!" I said cutely and did a peace sign

Umiling lang siya at sinarado na ang pinto ko. Pagkaalis niya ay sumayaw ulit ako na parang uod habang kumakanta.

Nobody can kill my mood!

"Congratulations," nakipag-kamayan ako sa isang lalaki

"Thank you Sir. Thank you po," sabi ko at tinanggap ang certificate na binigay niya

Nakipag-kamayan din ako sa mga teachers at principal ng school. I can't believe I'm up here on stage receiving a certificate. I feel so honored. Alam kong sa iba ay maliit na bagay lang ito pero para sa'kin malaki na. This is the fruit of my hardwork. Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam na worth it yung pagod at puyat ko.

Tumingin ako sa harap at ngumiti sa photographer. Behind me are my teachers and the admin of the school.

I saw my friends from the crowd. They clapped their hands and cheered. It truly warms my heart whenever they support me.

I smiled widely when I saw Irene, Benjie and Minnie in the back row. I raised my certificate and waved at them. They laughed and gave me a thumbs up.

I dedicate this award to my friends, family and to God. I feel blessed. All for His Glory!

Hindi maalis ang ngiti sa labi ko hanggang sa pauwi sa bahay. I'm excited to share the news to my parents.

"Ma? Pa?" I called them

Hinanap ko sila ngunit nakita ko lang si mama sa kusina.

"Oh, andito ka na pala," bati niya

Nakatalikod siya ngayon sa'kin. Naamoy ko ang niluluto niyang meryenda.

"Asan si papa?"

"Umalis. May inasikaso."

Ngumuso ako. Sayang, gusto ko sana sabihin sa kanilang dalawa ng sabay.

Unti-unti ulit akong ngumiti. "May bibigay ako sa'yo ma."

"Ano yun?"

"Harap ka," utos ko.

I secretly hid the cash prize behind my back. I made sure not to crumple it. Pinagpapawisan pa naman ang kamay ko.

"Kita mong nagluluto ako eh. Ano ba yun?"

I frowned. Sungit naman ni mama...pero kapag binigay ko ito sa kanya ay sigurado akong matutuwa siya. Napagdesisyunan ko na ipangtulong nalang sa bahay ang napalalunan ko sa contest.

Unti-unti ko nang nilabas ang pera sa likod ko. "Ito oh! Look!"

"Ano ba kasi—" pagkaharap niya ay bumaba ang tingin niya sa hawak ko. "Ano 'yan?"

"Para sa'yo. I mean, sa bahay," sabi ko na nakangiti padin

Tumingin siya sa'kin. "Saan mo naman nakuha 'yan?"

"May Art contest sa school nung nakaraan tapos nanalo ako. Hindi ko nga ineexpect eh."

"Papaano—"

"Alam kong hindi 'yan sobrang laki pero sana makatulong," kinuha ko ang kamay niya at pintong doon ang pera

Hindi ko na tinignan ang reaksiyon niya basta tumalikod na ako at tumakbo palabas ng kusina. Narinig kong tinawag niya ako.

Tumigil ako sa tapat ng hagdan. "Legit 'yan ma! Pakita ko pa certificate ko," natatawa kong sabi at mabilis na umakyat sa hagdan.