Hanging up the phone before it rang for the tenth time since we made our way back from the night in the woods, I decided I needed help. But asking was a completely different story. Tension replaced with contentment, high-spirits, and cheerfulness that always came after the full moon. The odd glance of suspicion from the ones closest to me were much easily ignore. That was new, I wondered why.

Full of energy, I decided to clean the house and try to figure out what to say when I gained enough courage to make the phone call. It amazed me that living in a house with at least 10 males at all times and you could never tell. Everything in its place, not a dust bunny to be found and dishes always done.

The cordless phone dangles in front of my face while I scrubbed the already sparkling sink. "Whoever you have been contemplating on calling will you just do it, please? Normally the day after the full moon we are relaxed, but you are winding yourself up tight," Joseph whispered in my ear holding the phone.

I sighed, "Am I that transparent?"

"The truth? Yeah, you have picked up a phone then hung it up a few times without calling anyone. I cannot feel you, but it's written all over you face," he told me. "Whatever it is you want to do stop thinking and just do it." He placed the phone on the counter and left.

Before I could talk myself out of it again I picked up the phone and dialed the number. On the second ring he answered. "Hi Dr. Bosje its Sam...Um I was wondering...do you have time to see me sometime today maybe?" I held my breath waiting for his response. Or sure if I wanted he to say yes or no.

"I think that would be a good idea. I am working at home today so if you could be here say in an hour? Do you mind if I call Dr. Sway so we both can do some testing as well?" he asked, excitement in his voice.

I wanted, needed his help but now, an hour from now I had second thoughts. Not responding Dr. Bosje said, "Sam I am glad you called and I want to help you anyway I can with whatever you need. Please come, I understand asking for help is not easy for you." The excitement gone now he sounded concern.

Closing my eyes, squeezing them tight, I let out the breath I was held, "Ok Doc. I'll be there in an hour to see the both of you." I hung up without a goodbye, less time to change my mind. Off to tell the others we, I. had an appointment and we were leaving the house. With the bodyguards already I didn't have to call Jack and explain to him where and why I was leaving. Thank goodness for small favours.

Evading questions if I was ok and why I needed to go see the Doc was easier than I thought it would be. I just walked away telling them to be ready in 30 minutes. Add in that everyone, for the most part, treated me kid gloves also helped. Joseph was my side with four others they made it to the doc's place 15 minutes early.

Dr. Sway was already there looking over some charts when I walked into a large room with three hospital beds and all the equipment you would see in a hospital. Having tenth and eleventh thoughts about being there and not knowing where to start or how to. I took a seat on the closest bed swinging my legs looking everywhere except at them. Listening to them explain that they would like to run more test after hearing what happened, since they were not with the rest of the group the night before. The blood they gave me to heal not only didn't cancel the other out, it turned me not into a shifter but a super freak; in my eyes. I took not one but two shaped with a few twists: my eyes did not match my animal and I could now talk to others through my mind. If I had to be honest this just made my life in more complicated. Wanting more time to go over how and what I wanted to say I agreed without a fight. With them in scientist mode they paid little attention to my fidgeting, so I thought.

"Ok Sam what's on your mind? The sooner you get it out the better you may feel and the less chance of us having to tie you down in order to take your blood," he said the last part with a smile.

"Um...did they tell you everything?" I knew they probably did but wanted to make sure. I so didn't want to have to go through it all. This was hard enough and if they brought things up I could ask the questions after. It felt less vulnerable that way.

Dr. Sway smiled, he knew what I was doing and was going to play along to my relief. "That you can change into both a lion and wolf, and every time you did the change was much smoother than it should have been. That you can communicate through your mind with us in animal form," he glanced at Dr. Bosje then stops. He knew I could also do it in human form but was not going to let that slip out.

"Yeah, and my eyes? They are messed up. So I am basically a super freak," I mumbled. "So what about this Tlazolteotl thing, is that the reason I can change into both or is because of Jack's and Lawrence's blood? Is my connection still the same now that I am one of you? And can you explain to me what connection I really have with all of you? Are your feelings more than they would be if I was not the Tlazolteotl or is that why the unmated males have feelings for me? Are the real, the feelings I mean? Will they fade in time?" I rushed out all at once.

They both thought about my question, which I was grateful that they didn't just rush out an answer. "That is why we are doing more testing, so I don't have answer why you can take both our forms, though I must say I think I am jealous," Dr. Bosje laughed.

"For the emotions the unmated males have for you are very real. We all have the need to protect you immediately and that has not changed since you have become a shifter, if anything it might have increased. You see, we all have that with our Pride and Pack family, and now you are one of us, so it had increased our level of need to protect you," Dr. Sway began to explain.

"After the research we have done we also found out that the increased emotion of...shall I say dislike can be increased among the unmated strong females," Dr. Bosje added reluctantly.

"So basically the unmated males just want to fuck me, and think they may be in love with me, and the females want to kill me. Well that's just fucking fantastic!" I summarized with a sigh.

That made them shift their feet uncomfortably. "Yes. Listen Sam, you are still what you are just...improved." I jumped off the bed ready to leave when he spoke again. "What else do you want to talk about?"

That subject was harder to talk about, wanting to just forget about the weeks I was in that basement, but between everyday life and my dreams/nightmares would not allow it. Beside the full moon increased my libido, again. The thought of any physical contact made me want to throw up on a good day and coward in a corner on a bad day. Not to mention the screaming. But at the same time I wanted, needed to be touched, in the innocent way as well as not so innocent. Matt caught me completely off guard and as soon as I got home I craved and feared his touch as well as anyone else's. Then there was the fact my pull to people were changing. More intense towards a couple and less so with others.

Dr. Sway asked, "Are you still having nightmares?" his voice soft and inviting.

Before answering, another question came to mind. "You are my doctor's and in the human world there is a confidentiality thing, but how does that work if Jack or Lawrence commands you to tell then something about one of their members?" I asked, their answer may change some things.

"Jack has never done that and the only time confidentiality is broken if you are a threat to yourself or to the pack," Dr. Bosje said and Dr. Sway agreed. "Now are you still having nightmares?"

I still wasn't sure about this. I had a feeling things that involved me may be different. "May I ask both of you a favour? Call Lawrence and Jack and make sure this will apply to me please. I seem to know how to push their buttons more then most of the pack."

The both understood and agreed to do what I asked of them. When Jack was on the phone I heard him hesitate before he chuckled but in the end agreed. Lawrence was the one who surprised me, he had conditions. The only questions he would not ask about would be the time I spent in the basement, unless it affects others. So anything that affected the others he had a right to question as well as if any harm would come to myself. I wondered who out of all the people in my life actually knew me. Knew how my mind worked.

After all that I nodded my agreement. "I...I need help," I confessed, biting of a sob.

"It's Ok Sam. I know a person that knows what we are and that can help you," Bosje told me.

Shaking my head, "No I don't think I can talk to a stranger and I know I can't talk to the ones that are closest to me and tell them what happened. No. I can't do that and see the pity in their eyes after, it would ruin everything." I was already starting to wonder who I was closest too these past couple weeks never mind since last night.

"Would you feel comfortable with me? I have some experience in what you went through," Dr. Sway came around to meet me face to face, something in his eyes told me he did and would understand. Plus, I think he knew about the talking in the mind thing I did with Lawrence. Nodding my agreement after a few minutes he turned and said, "Would you mind?" Dr. Bosje gave a small smile and left the room.

"No better time than the present," Dr. Sway said leading the way to the couch.

After a few false starts and his patience, I started from the beginning and surprised myself giving him every detail I could remember of every moment I was there. Crying, yelling, staying quiet at times to get a hold of myself, an hour and half later I was exhausted and ready to go home. I even brought up some of the changes I felt with the men. As well as I know felt a stronger connection to the lions then I did with the wolves. Don't get me wrong the connection with the wolves did not change it was just stronger with the lions. Sway actually had a theory on that one. He thinks since I seemed to reach a different level with Lawrence is why my connection grew with the lions. It made sense since he is the Pride Leader. I knew he wanted to say more about Lawrence but let if drop and I wasn't ready to hear anymore. I think I already knew.

The doc wanted to see me again and I agreed. Sure there was a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders after spilling guts, but there was still so much. Now I had to talk to Nickoli. I needed to know what he felt or did not feel for me now.