Requested by SkippyTheMudkip
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I can't help but close my eyes for life.
And dream a different ending.

"Tell us everything you know."
"We need to catch that man."
"You're the only one to escape him."
The police interrogated me, desperate for facts. I don't blame them. I'm the only one to escape the grasp of a truly terrible man.
"Nathan Smith, what do you know about Matthew Patrick?" The officer asked, becoming more firm with each time he asked me. "We need to know just what he does with his victims."
I sighed, knowing that I would have to open up at some point. As much as I loved him, he was...
"Matthew Patrick is only a memory to me." I said. "Nothing more, nothing less. And fine, I guess I'll give you the full story."

When I wake, I won't be so exhausted.
And I'll stop with my pretending.

~*~*~*~*~*

That I'm fine.
I'm fine if I can fool myself tonight.

I'm really not the type to drink. But tonight was an exception. My friend Hunter (Or Dookie, as I like to call him) was getting pretty bad with his drinking habit. Plus, tonight was my final straw with him. That's why I broke up with him. Probably a bad idea, but sometimes you just give up on a person because you start being dragged down with them. Anyway, I just needed one drink. One small drink and then I would leave.

"That's what I kept telling myself over and over again while I was driving to the bar." I told the officer.
"Yes yes. Now get to the part with Matthew Patrick."

And my lie will drown out all of yours.

I walked inside the bar. It was busy, which was to be expected on a Friday night. The dance floor was packed with a bunch of people dancing and grinding on each other. There was one stool open at the counter and I took it. I had gotten the worst view of the TV, which was showcasing the football game. I didn't really mind it that much at all though, football wasn't really my thing.

When I had received my drink, a man with brown hair and brown eyes sat down next to me. Now, I really didn't think much about what he was wearing. A blue striped shirt, nice jeans, and dress shoes seemed pretty standard. I thought that maybe he was just one of those guys who liked to dress nicely all the time.

"This man is..."
"Matthew Patrick, yes."
"Did you know anything about him before meeting him?"
"I did not. I didn't even know he was a wanted man. Shows how invested I was into taking care of Dookie."

I will not bend until I break, how much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me.
You're only a memory.

"Haven't seen you around here." The guy said to me, causing my heart to skip a beat out of surprise. "You new?"
"Yeah." I said. "I guess you could say that. I've lived here my whole life but this is the first time I've been to a bar."
"Really?" He asked. "Have you ever had even a sip of alcohol?"
"Once or twice but that's it."
"Wow." He said. "I come here every other Friday. When I'm not here, I'm over at the other bar. You know, the rich people one."
"You go there?" I asked, surprised. "You don't look the type."
"Looks can be quite deceiving." He said. "By the way, Matthew Patrick. Pleased to meet you. Call me Matt because Matthew Patrick is a mouthful."
"Nathan Smith." I said, shaking his head. "Call me Nate because, well, I kinda hate my full name."
"Fair enough." Matt said. "What would you like tonight? Drinks are on me."
"You don't have to do that." I said. "I can pay for myself."
"I insist." Matt said. "I have money to spare."
"Well, if you say so." I said. "I guess I'll let you."
"That's the spirit." Matt said. "You really should try this one wine brand. It's wonderful."
"Oh, I don't know..."
"You've never had alcohol in your life." He said. "You can't hide from it."
"Well, all right..."

Matt ordered the drinks and while we were talking, we talked about all sorts of things. He told me that he loved to play video games and that he loved researching them and making theories about them. He had even considered making a YouTube channel at one point but he decided against it because he was too shy and he wasn't sure how well game theories would be received.
"That's how I felt when I started my YouTube channel." I said. "I was so scared when I posted my first cover. But, to my surprise, people actually like my stuff. And I have a fair amount of subscribers now."
"That's wonderful." Matt said, smiling. He actually had a really nice smile...at the time. Looking back, I should've seen it as sinister. "Now, take a look over there by the dance floor. Something I like to do is people watch and observe them. I like to try and figure out what their story is. I've come to learn that people are just like books. Some are engaging and thrilling reads while others are dull and plain."
I started watching people dance on the flashy dance floor. For a moment, all I could focus on was how often the colors changed. Red, blue, purple, all sorts of colors flashed before your eyes before changing straight away before you had time to blink. This kinda hurt my eyes so I tried to focus on the people and not on the floor, as cool as I thought it was, despite the color changing element being a little too quick for my liking. My eyes soon landed on a girl who was wearing a dress so short that it was a wonder how she was even allowed into this place. She stood out amongst the other dancers, who were wearing all sorts of different clothes from plaid shirts to T-shirts and from dress pants to jeans.
"I'm observing that these people have no idea how to dress." I told Matt.
"Brilliant observation." He said, holding his wine in his hand. I waited for him to take a drink but he never did. "Did you see that girl with the really short dress and bald head? She sticks out, doesn't she?"
Looking at her again, I noticed that she indeed was bald.
"You're right." I said. "I didn't notice that before."

"You take forever to tell a story Nathan."
"I'm getting there. Just relax. This part is a pretty crucial part of this story."
"If you say so. But hurry up, will you?"

"Most people have something about them that sticks out." Matt said. "Whether that be in their appearance or personality. But the truly thrilling and engaging books have both. I find that it's quite rare though."
"Hm," I said, still looking at the girl. "I think I've figured out her story."
"Thrilling and engaging or dull and plain?"
"I think thrilling and engaging."
"Let's hear it."
"She's trying to prove to someone, or maybe even several people, that she's strong and she doesn't need anyone." I said, grabbing ahold of my wine.
"I think so too." Matt said. "Wonderful. That was pretty good for a first time people watcher. Now, let's see how good you are for a first time alcohol taster."
"I still don't know about this." I said, staring down at the red liquid in the glass. "I don't think I'm ready."
"You're just scared that you won't like it." Matt said. "I understand. But you have to taste it. If you don't like it, fine. You don't have to drink it anymore. But there's always the "what if". And the "what if" in this case is "what if I like it?""
"You're right." I said, raising the glass close to my face. "You never know until you try."
"That's the spirit." Matt said, smiling. "Take a sip whenever you're ready."
I took a deep breath, without any inkling as to what this would taste like. I closed my eyes and felt the rim of the glass touch my lips. I exhaled a breath and moved my hand. A few moments later, I felt the red liquid enter my mouth. At first, the strong taste hit me and I was certain that I didn't like it. But, a moment later when I had swallowed it, I actually did.
"This is good!" I said, smiling and placing it on the counter behind me.
"I'm so glad you like it." Matt said. "And hopefully you'll experiment more in the future."
"We'll see." I said. "Hey, I'm not feeling so hot. I think that there's something in this wine."
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked, giving me a confused look. "It's just fine." He took a drink to prove it.
"I don't know." I said. "I'll be back."

I stumbled to the bathroom feeling like I was going to throw up any second. I found the nearest stall, locked it, and laid down on the ground, hoping that I could feel better.

I'll scream these words until they come true.
Then I will think no more of you.

"Oh God." I groaned. "What the help was in that?"
"Nate? Are you all right?" Matt's voice sounded distant to me. I didn't respond because I just couldn't.
"Nate! Answer me! Where the hell are you?"
I felt my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier by the moment. I struggled to keep them open. I didn't know what my body wanted to do. I felt like I was going to throw up but now I felt like I was going to pass out.

Look back on what I'm going through.

*****

I woke up feeling my head throb like crazy. I still had the feeling like I was going to throw up but not the feeling like I was going to pass out. I tried to stand up but a sudden pull on my arms and legs sent me tumbling right back down.
"The hell?" I muttered. I looked around and saw that I was chained to a wall.
"Where the hell am I?"

This isn't my identity.

I heard a laugh and footsteps. I looked up and Matt appeared as he turned on the lights.
"Finally awake I see." He said with his hands behind his back. "It's about time. You sleep for a long time."
"What the hell have you done to me?" I demanded. "Are you the one that made me pass out last night?"
He let out a small laugh and nodded.
"I'm surprised you didn't figure it out Nathan. I mean, who else could it have been?"

"You lied to me." I growled, not really sure what else to say.

"Not really." Matt said. "I told you my name was Matthew Patrick and that I enjoyed people-watching. Those are very much the truth."

"Don't give me that shit when you fucking drugged me and chained me to a Goddamn wall you little motherfucker!"

"Wow, quite the sailor we have here." Matt said, maintaining a smile in his face. "But if you want more truth, I'll give more. Take look around at my dungeon and you'll find out what else I enjoy doing in my spare time."
I did so. I was immediately disgusted when I realized that this man was quite a fan of really kinky sex. I swore to myself that the room was a perfect replica of Christian Grey's sex dungeon.

You will bleed from what your hands have done.

"What do you think?" Matt asked with a hint of pride in his voice.
"I think that you're a sex addict." I said, refusing to look at him.
"Ding! Ding! Ding!" Matt said as he smiled and pointed at me. "You're so smart Nathan."
I just shook my head, still looking down at the ground.
"I want to show you why I enjoy it so much." Matt said as he put his hand on my chin and propped my head up so that I was looking into those big brown eyes of his. "You'll find that if you've ever had sex with a girl, guys are way better."
"I highly doubt that." I said.
"I sense that you're challenging me Nathan." Matt said as he removed the chains with a key hanging on a nearby hook that was way out of my reach. "And I would like to accept that challenge. Howeve, you must agree to me being dominant and you being the submissive."
"Whatever floats your boat Matt." I said as I stood up. I was grateful that my feeling of nausea was gone.
"No." Matt said, no longer looking at me but instead looking at the ground and shaking his head. "As the dominant, I instruct you to refer to me as Mr. Patrick and that you always use polite terms when speaking to me."
"You're pretty hardcore."
"Thats a correct statement." Matt said as he went over and grabbed a leather whip that was hanging off the red velvet wall. "Now, undress if you will."
"Man, you get straight to the point, don't you?" I asked as I unbuttoned my jeans. The only reason I was listening to him was because I was secretly afraid what he would do to me if I didn't listen to him.
"Yes." He responded proudly. "You chose a good brand by the way. Calvin Klein is my favorite. And damn, you look good in pink. Remove your shirt if you will."
I did so, tossing it on top of my jeans.
"Now turn around."
I nodded and followed his command.
"You're much better than the others." Matt said, clearly impressed.
"What do you mean by "others"?" I asked, tilting my head in confusion.
"What? Do you really think that I've had sex with just one person?" Matt asked, laughing at me like I had just told him that there was a unicorn behind him. "As a sex addict and fan, you get bored with just one person...and of the same gender. I stopped having sex with women about four or five months ago. Possibly more or less than that. I don't really know because I'm not the type of person to keep track of that kind of thing."
"You predator." I said, unable to look at him once more. He was sick and twisted and it was a wonder how he had evaded police for so long since all of his victims probably accused him of raping them.
"I prefer dominant really." Matt said. "Predator is such a strong term to use, you know? Anyway, pull your boxers down if you will. Mr. Patrick's a bit lazy today. But know that he's very impressed with your build."
I rolled my eyes as I did what I was told to do. Him talking in third person only made me more pissed off at him.
"Mm-hmm." Matt said as he studied me. He especially studied my lower half. "I've certainly have seen much better than that but your top half is quite impressive so you make up for the loss of points on your lower half."
I said nothing to him and instead just nodded.
"Since you're new to this kind of thing, I'll start out pretty tame." Matt said. "You might be wondering how I know that you're new to the kinkier side of sex and my answer to that question is that I've had sex with enough men and women to tell what their sex experience has been."
"I hope you know that I think that you're one messed up motherfucker." I said to him.
He merely just laughed and said, "I've been told that on numerous occasions. But hey, at least I'm not a virgin."
"How in the name of God do you know I'm a virgin?"
"I'm just good like that." He said, stroking the whip. "But I don't mind you being a virgin. That makes it even better actually. Turn around again and let me give you the non-standard first time of your life."
"Oh, we'll see about that." I muttered as I turned around.
"What was that?" He asked. "There shall be no muttering. When it comes to talking, you have two choices. Your first choice is to speak loudly and clearly to me and your second choice is to keep inside that little head of yours. I would give you a strike but since your build has impressed me and you're a virgin is enough reason to let you off the hook. But be warned. Three strikes and I can make your life a living hell."
I swallowed out of pure nervousness. I have never felt so scared and so frozen with fear in my entire life. At that moment, I thought that even responding to his statement would set him off.
"Yes Sir." I mustered out. That was the only thing I could really think of saying.
"Wonderful." He said, his tone lightening up. It terrified me how fast his mood had gone from anger to happiness in that short amount of time. Was it possible that he was bipolar? "Let us begin, shall we?"
"Yes." I said, making sure that my voice was loud and clear so that he didn't get angry. I was surprised that he let me off the hook once more after the last statement. I added, "Please." to make sure that I was following his rule of being polite to him.
"You follow rules very well." He said. I heard a crack as he tested the whip to make sure that it was satisfying to him. "Much better than the others. That pleases me."
I didn't respond, opting to keep my thoughts to myself. I knew that I really shouldn't speak if I didn't want to piss him off. And I sure as hell didn't.
I let out a small squeal of surprise when the whip made contact with me. He didn't even hit me that hard and yet somehow, I was surprised as if he had. In fact, he only hit me gently and it didn't even sting or leave a mark.
"You seem to like that." Matt said. "I'll make mental note of that. But maybe you'd like to try something else?"

You can't outrun your ending.

"Just maybe Mr. Patrick." I said.
I didn't have to look at him to figure out that he was smiling at me. I could just feel it deep inside. He was just sick and twisted like that.
"Yes." He said, nodding. I dared myself to look at him but I had to dart my gaze away from him because I just couldn't look at him for more than a brief moment. Last night, he looked like a misunderstood guy. But now he looked like a monster. Like he's done countless horrible things in his life.

And I'll get well long before you let yourself.
I may forgive you, but you never will.

"You hungry?" He asked me. "Because I'm starving. I really should've eaten before I made you undress. And I give you permission to dress yourself once more by the way."
I gathered up all of my clothes and started putting them back on. How could he just stand there and do something like that? I didn't even know if I wanted to eat because I would be in the same room as him, most likely sitting across from him at the table. I didn't even know if I could bear thinking about him while I ate. The food might just come right back out.
"Come upstairs with me." He said once I was back in my attire. "You like eggs and bacon? Because that's my favorite."
"I guess so." I said as I began to follow him upstairs, fearing what was to come.

His house looked perfectly normal and something was dead wrong about that.
A beast like him should have an evil lair and not a home.
"I'll have you know I cook a mean bacon and eggs." Matt said as he instructed me to sit at the table.
"Wonderful to know." I said.
"Ain't it?" Matt asked as he got out a pan along with a carton of eggs and some bacon. "I can guarantee you that this is going to be the best breakfast that you've ever had in your entire life."
"Well, I have high standards for you."
"You really should." Matt said, chuckling as he looked dead in the eyes at me. "You wanna know why? Because I'm one of a kind."

I will not bend until I break.
How much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me.
You're only a memory.

He didn't talk to me the entire time while he was cooking. And there was no way in hell that I was going to try and make conversation with him. It was only when he set down my plate of eggs and bacon and sat down across from me when he finally talked to me again.
"You're quiet." He said. "I like that. The others threatened to run and tell. But if course, I had to stop them somehow."
"How many others were there?" The question slipped out of my mouth before I could really think about whether or not I could think about asking it was a good idea.
"I'm not really sure at this point." He admitted as he bit into a piece of bacon. "I lost track at ten. Though I guess I could go to the closet and count if I wanted. Probably smells like hell though."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't act dumb. When people go against my word or they try to escape, I have to get rid of them somehow."
I forced myself to swallow the bite of egg that I had in my mouth and not throw it back up when he said that.
"You're a sex predator and a murderer?"
"Yeah." He said, sounding proud. That sickened me. Then again, everything about him made my stomach turn. I don't even know how the hell I was managing to eat without throwing up. "I'm the full package. You are too but in a different way."

I'll scream these words till they come true.
Then I will think no more of you.
Look back on what I'm going through.
This isn't my identity.

I merely just forced myself to eat instead of responding.
"Sometimes I get sick of hiding." Matt said. "The neighbors get kinda suspicious about me because I only leave the house on Friday nights."
"Yeah, that kind of thing brings about suspicion." I said, mentally slapping myself once more because I really needed to think before I talked. I thought for sure that he was going to get up and hit me or something much worse. "You're right." He said to my surprise. "I really need to go out much more often so that all the attention and suspicion is off of me. Anyway, are you finished eating? I believe we have some business to attend to."

And I told you, I told you, you had no right.
How damaged you must be.

"Ah yes, perfect." Matt whispered in my ear, his breath warm and smelling of the bacon and eggs we had just eaten. We were back in his evil lair, which is what I'm going to refer to it as because that's what I feel it is. "They say nobody's perfect but damn, you just proved everyone whose ever said that wrong."
I didn't say anything and just let him whip me. He started to get undressed.
"Consider yourself lucky." He said as he did so. "I usually don't get undressed this early. Now you do the same."
"No."
"What did you say to me?"
"No." I screamed and then bolted up the stairs. I ran towards the front door, quickly unlocked it, and ran out into the open.

Watch you panic, it's tragic.
You'll carry this for life.

I dared myself to look back and I saw that he was gaining on me. He still wasn't a wearing a shirt. Under normal circumstances, I would've laughed but I knew that if he caught me, he most likely would kill me. That thought motivated me to run the fastest that I've ever ran in my entire life. I made sure to make a lot of twists and turns to make it less likely for him to catch me. And when I reached my house, I looked back and saw that I had lost him.

You had my sympathy.
I will not bend until I break.
How much can one bruised body take?
Just not enough to silence me.
You're only a memory.

"After that, I spent an entire week in my house." I told the officer.
"A solid week?" He asked, clearly surprised by my statement. "What about this Dookie friend you talked about?"
"I hate to say it, but I really didn't care about him during that time." I said. "I was too scared fearing if Matthew was going to suddenly break into my house and stab me to death or something like that."
"Ah, I see. Continue if you will."

I pretty much lost all will to live after I had escaped him. As soon as I stepped foot in my house, I closed all the curtains and allowed zero sunlight in. Sure, someone would find it odd and maybe it was a terrible idea now that I look back on it but I wasn't thinking rationally during that time. Pretty shitty excuse, but it's the truth.

I'll scream these words as they come true.
Then I will think no more of you.
Look back on what I'm going through.
This isn't my identity.

"Dude, what the fuck happened?" Dookie asked when he called me on the seventh day of my solitary confinement. "I've been trying to call you since Friday night. I kinda really needed you dude. Shit's getting hard."
"I know and I'm really sorry." I said. "I went through some shit too."
"Well fuck." Dookie said. "Want to talk about it? I could use a drink."
"No." I said. "Also, how many times do I have to tell you that you really need to stop drinking?"
"I'm getting better." He said. "I've cut down."
"That's wonderful to hear." I said, forcing myself to be excited.
"Dude, seriously." He said. "What's wrong? Do you want to end up like me? Bottle up your feelings like that and you will."
I sighed, knowing that he was right. And I was pissed that he was.
"I, well," I decided at the last moment not to sugarcoat it and flat tell him what had happened. "I got raped by this guy named Matthew Patrick."
Dookie was dead silent.
"Dookie? You still there buddy?"
"Dude, he's the most wanted sex predator in the town." He said. "And he's got many disappearances under his name. How the hell did you get away?"
"I ran." I said. "He was trying to make more moves on me after he gave me breakfast and I fucking ran dude. I ran like my life depended on it. And guess what? It fucking did. And now I'm stuck in my damn house hiding from that bastard because I'm scared that as soon as I set foot out of this house, he's gonna come out of nowhere and just kill me on the spot."
"Dude, why didn't your dumb ass just call the cops?" He asked.
"They'll just ask a bunch of questions." I said. "And I don't want to relive through all of that, even if it was short. It'll haunt me forever man."

You're only a memory.
This isn't my identity.

"Let me put it this way." Dookie said. "If you call the cops, you'll be able to save someone else from falling under his trap."
"I suppose you're right." I said. "Fine. But know that I'm only doing this for the sake of someone else."

*~*~*~*~*~

"And that's the end of the story." I said to the officer.
"Fascinating." He said as he pulled out a notepad and pen. "I understand that that was hard for you to talk about but thank you for doing so. This information will help save someone else."
"That's the only reason why I'm here." I said.
"Now, I'd like to ask one last favor from you."
"Yes?"
"Describe to me in detail what he looks like. No one's really got any good pictures of him since he usually wears a hoodie and dark sunglasses in public."
I described every single detail of Matthew Patrick. Okay, maybe not every detail. There is such a thing as too much after all.
"Thank you again." The officer saud as he finished writing down what I wrote. He closed the notepad and put it and the pen into his pocket as he stood up. I did the same. "And if you wish, we can send an officer or two to keep guard of your house until we catch him."
"I appreciate the offer but that won't be necessary." I said. "As I said at the very beginning, Matthew Patrick is just a memory to me and I like for him to stay that way. If I keep dwelling on him, it'll only drive me insane."
"Very well." The officer said, nodding as he extended his hand out to me. "It sure was a pleasure Nathan Smith."
"You too." I said as I shook his hand.

You're only a memory.
This isn't my identity.
You're only a memory (I will not bend).
This isn't my identity.
You're only a memory (I will not bend).
This isn't my identity.
You're only a memory.
This isn't my identity.
You're only a memory (I will not bend).
This isn't my identity.