I'm The Not The Only One {Matpat X Stephanie AU}

For those who don't know, Stephanie is the name of Matpat's wife.
Also, this follows the same storyline as "Only A Memory {Natepat AU}" but it will be told from Stephanie's Point Of View.
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You and me we made a vow.
For better or for worse.

I awoke to find that for once, Mat was sleeping with me. He always seemed to be gone whenever I woke up in the morning and would be gone for the rest of the day. I would question where he would go and he would tell that he would go to work and then hang out with some friends if it wasn't Friday. Friday was his clubbing days. I know this because he used to take me to the club. It would be just the two of us and we would drink (responsibly mind you) and dance the night away. But that was when we were first married. That was when things seemed like a fairytale.

I can't believe you let me down.
But the proof's in the way it hurts.

"Hey honey." I said to Mat, who was jus beginning to stir. "You have work today, I'm assuming."
"You're awake early, Steph." He said as he yawned. "But yes, I have work today. Just another reason to look forward to the weekend."
"You want me to make you some breakfast, dear?" I asked him, a smile crossing my features.
"I'd love it if you did that." He said, smiling back at me for the first time in a very long time. He took my left hand and kissed under the ring that he had proposed with. "That diamond needs polished baby."
"I haven't have time to get it done." I lied. In truth, I had all the time in the world. I could easily just go and get it done but I just didn't have the motivation to.
"You should go today." He said. "I think Ava would love it if you took her somewhere."
"She would, wouldn't she?" I asked, smiling as I walked into the kitchen in order to prepare breakfast for him. I knew bacon and eggs were his favorite so that's what I began making for him.

For months on end, I've had my doubts.
Denying every tear.

"Look who's awake early!" Mat said, coming into the kitchen holding Ava in his arms. She looked so much like him that it sometimes pained me to look at her.
"Well, hi there!" I said happily as I took her in my arms while Mat tended to the bacon and eggs. "You usually aren't awake when daddy's here."
"Which is why you should come back to daddy!" Mat said as he held out his arms towards her. I let him take her and watched as he gave her a piggy-back ride around the kitchen and living room.

I wish this would be over now.
But I know I still need you here.

"Mommy's bacon and eggs are good, aren't they?" Mat asked Ava when we were all sitting down together and eating, which was something extremely rare in this house. What was even rarer was him actually paying attention to our daughter. "Oh, wait. You can't eat them because you're too little."
I forced a smile as he tickled her, causing her to laugh. If only he was excited as he was now to be spending time with her all the time. I wanted to do something just the two of us for the first time since Ava's been born but I knew that today was Friday and there was no way that I was going to stop him from going out to party tonight.

You say I'm crazy.
Cause you don't think I know what you've done.
But when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one.

"I gotta go." Mat said as he handed Ava back to me. "Goodbye little one." He then focused his attention on me, not knowing what to say.
"Have a good day." I said as I forced myself to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "And don't party too hard."
He just nodded and headed out.

You've been so unavailable.
Now sadly I know why.
Your heart is unobtainable.
Even though God knows you kept mine.

"Hey, I need a favor." I said when I called my mother. "I need you to watch Ava for a while. I have some errands to run."
"Oh, of course." She replied happily. "I'd be happy to watch her!"
"Thanks." I said, smiling. "I'll be over soon."

You say I'm crazy.
Cause you don't think I know what you've done.
But when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one.

I've caught him cheating on me numerous times. And yet, I still love him. I still wear that ring on my finger even though he's unfaithful and even though he doesn't even wear his anymore. He hasn't worn it since the day we got married. We don't even celebrate anniversaries and he even forgets not only my birthday, but his own daughter's. I knew that he was going to bring someone home tonight and try to cheat on me in private even though it's in our own damn house. I still love him, but I just can't stay with him anymore.

"Long time no see." Mom said as I dropped Ava off at her own place. "How are things with you and Mat going? You haven't been calling. Is everything okay?"
This right here was my chance to tell her everything. The chance to tell her how he was a cheater since we got together in high school and how he was the most unfaithful husband you could possibly meet.
And what do I do with this chance?
I blow it.
"He's the greatest husband a woman could ever ask for." I said, forcing myself to smile. I wasn't worried about her suspecting that I was lying because I have become a great liar over the years.
"I'm so glad to hear that." Mom said. "Well, I don't want to keep you any longer since you have things to do."
"Thanks again for watching her." I said as I have my four month old daughter a kiss on the forehead.
"Anytime."

I have loved for many years.
Maybe I am just not enough.
You made me realize my deepest fear.
By lying and tearing us up.

****

I went back home because I really just couldn't be with him anymore, no matter how much I wanted to. I packed up all of mine and Ava's stuff and loaded it into my car. I changed into the most revealing outfit of mine and I may have gone a little crazy and shaved my head. While I was doing it, it made me feel powerful and that I was showing that I was strong and that I didn't need Mat anymore. By at the end of it, I realized that I wasn't as strong as I'd like to think that I was and that I still needed him, even though he's cheated on me more times than you can count on your fingers.

You say I'm crazy.
Cause you don't think I know what you've done.
But when you call my baby, I know I'm not the only one.

*****

When night fell, I made my way to the club. Maybe he would recognize me and maybe he wouldn't. He would certainly notice me because I stood out and because he loved to people watch.
"People are just like books. Some are thrilling and engaging while others are plain and dull." Those words always stuck out in my mind.

I danced along to the music while never taking my eyes off of him. He was dressed very nicely and it reminded me of how he used to dress in high school. I watched as a raven haired man sat down next to him and almost as soon as the man sat down, Mat began talking to him. Looks like this man was his one night stand tonight.

A while later, Mat was people watching and I knew that he was watching me. He was trying to figure out my story, which is ironic because he already knows mine. I'm a woman with a wonderful daughter but a shitty husband whom she somehow still manages to love despite all the bullshit that he's put her through. But now, tonight is her night to let go. Tonight is the night she leaves you behind.

You say I'm crazy.
Cause you don't think I know what you've done.
But when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one.
I know I'm not the only one.
I know I'm not the only one.
And I know, and I know, and I know, and I know, and I don't know.
I know I'm not the only one.

I sure hope all of your actions are worth losing the undeniable love that I've felt for you for many years now Matthew Patrick. I also hope that karma comes back to bite you in the ass one day for raping and cheating on me numerous times. I feel sick loving you and I must go.

So, before I leave forever with your daughter, I've been wanting to say this for so long.

Fuck you.

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