My alarm startled me awake at 7am. It's Sunday morning, my last day of childcare training in NYC.

I forgot to switch the AC on when I came back to the hotel last night because I woke up sweating, allowing my thick lock of red hair plastered on my face and around my neck.

I rolled over in bed half expecting to find Matthew lying next to me, only to feel disappointed that I was alone.

I replayed our kiss in my head over and over again, reliving that blissful moment which thrilled me. After our passionate embrace last night, I remembered that he promised to call me.

I reached for my phone that was lying next to my pillow.

Three missed calls from Steven and a text from him saying that he would call me tomorrow.

My heart sank with dread and guilt. Is it possible that I still love Matthew? But how could I love both of them? I do deserve to be happy and after all, it was just a kiss.

My conscience and ego called a truce, and I looked at my phone again.

One text from Matthew.

"Can't wait to see you again xxx"

My heart fluttered.

I secretly couldn't wait to see Matthew again too. But I also felt guilty for cheating on Steven. How could I have kissed my ex-boyfriend? And do I tell Steven that I kissed Matthew? Or will Matthew be my dirty little secret in the city?

I started to type a response to Matthew but decided against it. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Today was the last day of training and the first day I was going to see my host family! I was excited and nervous all at once.

After sitting through hours of childcare training, I waited eagerly for my host parents to pick me up from the hotel.

I hope they like me, I thought to myself as I watched other nannies greet their host families.

Some families arrived with their kids, some without, and some even had their personal assistants pick them up instead.

Hugs and cheek kisses were exchanged whilst others exchanged awkward handshakes.

Although I was wearing a floral sundress and white sandals, I couldn't help but sweat under the sweltering sun.

I stood patiently next to my suitcases as a navy blue car slowed down in front of me and stopped just a few metres away.

A tall, blonde haired woman with black, square framed sunglasses exited the vehicle.

She opened her arms as she walked towards me and enveloped me in a friendly hug.

"Hi Alyssa! I'm Emma. O-M-G I'm so excited to meet you! You're finally here!" she said cheerfully as she gave me another bear hug.

Did she just say O-M-G?

"I know, I can't believe it! I'm so excited!" I was genuinely pleased that after months of hard work and numerous interviews with families across America, I was finally starting a new chapter of my life right here in New York City.

"The girls are home with their dad. It's family day on Sunday's so we're not working," she said as she took my suitcases and placed them in the back seat, whilst I buckled myself in the passenger seat.

The radio played in the background on a low volume but I could still hear the advertisements in an American accent which sounded so odd to me.

I was taken aback by Emma's confidence and beauty. She looked glamorous and stunning in her blue jeans and white shirt. Her blonde hair was thick and wavy. I couldn't help but notice the sparkly diamond ring on her left hand as she took off her sunglasses and placed them on top of her head.

"How are you feeling? Are you jet-lagged? How was the training?" She bombarded me with questions.

"I'm feeling good, a little jet-lagged. Training was okay, but I'm glad it's over now," I said as I looked out of the window to find we were surrounded by high-rise buildings and crowds of people.

"Well, don't worry. You'll get plenty of rest today and John and I are home during the week to show you the ropes," I felt a little relieved because honestly, I felt nervous about being home alone with just two little girls in my first week.

I felt confident in teaching children in a school setting but caring after two girls five days a week at home was completely alien to me.

The drive to my host parent's apartment flew by as we arrived just a few minutes later.

"Traffic isn't that bad on a Sunday," Emma said as we vacated her car.

"We've made an extra set of keys to the apartment and keys to John's Jeep for you just in case, but you can take the subway to pretty much anywhere in the city."

"I usually take the girls to Central Park in the stroller. It's only a ten minute walk from here, and the hospital where John and I work is only a twenty minute ride away."

Emma showed me the reception desk before we made our way to the lift with my luggage.

"15c," she said as she pressed the silver button and the lift doors closed on us.

We both stood in silence as she scrolled through her phone, checking emails or texts or whatever it is that surgeons do on their phones.

It was almost 11pm in England and I was starting to feel sleepy. I yawned politely trying to cover my mouth, hoping it went unnoticed.

"So, do the girls have like a strict sleeping or eating schedule?" I asked trying to fill in the silence.

"On the weekends, no, because John and I are so busy with work that we just end up giving in to them but during the week, oh yeah!"

"It was difficult with the nanny before you because she was a little older so she wasn't very active with the kids which is why we hired you instead. They're both in bed by 7pm during the week and three meals a day with a whole lot of snacking. I'm trying to get them to eat more fruit and veggies but you know what kids are like..." she trailed off as she waved her hand in the air.

"Hopefully, I can help with that," I said as the doors to the lift opened up to a small hallway.

We walked towards the last door on the left and Emma unlocked the door with a silver key.

"Look who's here!" Emma exclaimed as we entered the apartment and I peered out from behind her.

"Hi!" I waved at the two little girls who were in the far right corner of the living room playing with their dolls.

I assumed the living room was also the play room because the girl's toys were sprawled across the hardwood floors. A grey L shaped couch was placed in the corner of the living room against the floor to ceiling windows.

I loved the open planned apartment with its modern kitchen. The matching gas stove and oven sparkled in silver against the grey microwave.

Dishes were piled stack high in the sink and empty milk bottles lingered on the worktops.

The sunlight beamed in through the floor to ceiling windows. I noticed the glare on their 60 inch TV that was mounted against the red brick wall opposite the couch.

Two black doors stood on either sides of the TV. I assumed one was their bedroom, and the other, mine.

"Yay! Mama!" One of the girls cried out as she ran to hug Emma.

That's got to be Amelia, the four year old, I thought.

Ashley, the one year old, was crawling her way over to Emma, her knees and palms thudding with excitement against the wooden floors.

John emerged from the bedroom with two nappies in each hand.

"Time for a diaper change!" he exclaimed as he waved their nappies in the air.

Ashley crawled faster away from her dad and closer to her mum whilst Amelia clung onto Emma's legs.

"Nooo!" They both cried.

It was apparent that the girls seemed both, physically, and emotionally attached to their mother.

John walked over to me to shake my hand only to stop mid-way as he noticed his hands were full.

If I had to guess, he was about six feet tall. His soft, black hair started to thin at his receding hair line. His clean shaven look accentuated his sharp jawline and I noticed how symmetrical his features were.

He was wearing black basketball shorts and a football jersey, accompanied by a baseball cap.

"Hi Alyssa! So glad you're finally here! You came at the perfect time!" John smiled through his pearly white teeth as he grabbed Amelia from Emma's foot and threw her over his shoulders, revealing Amelia's overflown nappy.

Ashley tried to curve away from her father's direction but he picked her up with just one hand.

"Wow," I said out loud looking surprised.

"Impressive, right?" Emma called out. "Most dads don't want to do the dirty work but not John," she said as she smiled at him whilst he struggled to place the girls on the changing table by the window.

Emma walked over to John to help him with the girls and I stood in the doorway awkwardly.

"Oh let me show you to your room so you can make yourself at home."

I followed her to the smaller sized bedroom out of the two.

She opened the door to a queen sized bed, an office chair and a small desk situated next to a white, mirrored wardrobe. There was another door leading to an en suite bathroom.

I get my own bathroom?!

A painting of the NYC skyline hung on the wall above the head frame of the bed.

Perfect.

I walked over to the window after setting my suitcases down and looked outside. My view was obscured by buildings and brick walls of concrete that stood between me and the beautiful city.

I wasn't completely dissatisfied because the view from the living room overlooked taller buildings that made up the city's skyline.

Emma left my bedroom to wrestle with the girls as John was struggling to get them to cooperate. I heard playful giggles and squeals from the room as I started to unpack my belongings.

Twenty-four hours ago I was getting ready to leave London and here I am, day two, settling into my new home for the next twelve months.

Not to mention I've kissed my ex-boyfriend, behind Steven's back.

Oh, Steven! What was I going to tell Steven? Should I tell Steven? It was only a kiss...

John walked into my room, holding Ashley on his hip.

"We're thinking of having pizza tonight, we wanted you to try New York's pizza for your first meal with us."

Little did he know, I shared a slice with Matthew last night.

"That sounds perfect."

Amelia came rushing into the room, curiously eyeing up my bedroom in her recently changed nappy.

"I only wear these at night, I'm a big girl in the day!" She said proudly as she pointed to what I assumed was her night time nappy. Her black hair matched John's and was long overdue a haircut.

From what I could tell, Amelia had a strong personality. She was a confident and sassy little four year old.

Ashley, however, was still just a baby so most of her behaviour consisted of pooping, eating and sleeping as Emma explained over our video calls. Her blonde hair was wavy and short, much like her mother's.

"Yes, yes, Amelia, you're a very big girl. Now, clean up your toys before dinner arrives," Emma bellowed from the living room.

"Me too!" Ashley squealed as she jumped down from John's hip and crawled out of my room, following her sister's footsteps.

"She runs the place, I just follow the commands," John joked about his wife.

"Please do make yourself at home. We want you to feel at home and if there is anything we can do to help, let us know," he gave me a side hug before leaving. "We're so happy that you're here."

"Me too, thank you so much."

I finished unpacking and connected to the WiFi so I could text Steven and Matthew back.

"Just got to the apartment, I'll call you tomorrow. Goodnight, I love you," I texted Steven back. I didn't want him to stay up just to call me as it must have been close to midnight back in England.

Besides, I was hoping to text Matthew. I wanted to know how he was feeling about me and what our kiss meant to him.

**********************************************************************************************

I called Matthew later that evening, after my first dinner with my host family.

"Hey Alyssa," I could hear the smile in Matthew's voice. "I'm glad you called."

"Oh yeah?" I couldn't help but smile with excitement. This was the Matthew that I once fell in love with years ago.

"What are you doing tomorrow night? Maybe we can go out? I can take you to Brooklyn, they have the most scenic views of the city."

I wanted to go wherever Matthew would take me but tomorrow was my first day of work and I wouldn't be free until the girl's bedtime.

"I finish work at 8pm. Is that okay?" I asked biting my lip, hoping he would still make time to see me.

"That sounds great."

Yay!

"I'll see you then," I hung up the phone and laid down on the bed, pressing my phone to my chest trying not to squeal with glee in case I wake anyone up.

Were we dating again? Or were we just hanging out as friends?

I didn't care. I had Matthew's attention and for now, that was enough. I could figure out our relationship status later.

I struggled to fall asleep at 10pm even though I was physically drained and it was way past my bedtime across the ocean.

I snuck out my room to find the whole apartment pitch black and quiet. The blinds were drawn leaving very little light in the living room so I used the torch on my phone to guide me to the kitchen.

I could see a faint light peering through the gap between my host parents bedroom door and the hardwood floor. I assumed my host parents were working away on their laptops whilst the girls slept.

My host parents were definitely hardworking, busy parents. I could tell from the journals, books and paperwork that stacked up on the coffee table. The living room was both, an office, and a play room.

The girls did a good job cleaning up their toys and books which were now stored away in their toy boxes. I grabbed a slice of leftover pizza from the cardboard box that sat on top of the stove, quietly munching away.

I heard footsteps approach from my host parent's bedroom and a beam of light as John opened the door.

I froze still for a second not knowing whether to acknowledge his presence or not. I felt paralysed as he didn't realise I was in the kitchen. It was too dark for him to notice me and I guess he thought I was asleep.

John walked over to the living room and settled down on the couch, holding a phone between his ear and shoulder whilst carrying a laptop in both hands.

He switched on the floor lamp next to the couch and I instantly crouched down and ducked behind the stove, hoping he wouldn't see me.

I felt stupid for not saying anything but it felt awkward to strike up a conversation with my host dad this late at night. Besides, I'm pretty sure he was shirtless.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll send it all over to you in an email right now," I heard John groan as he hung up the phone.

The keyboard chattered away and my legs began to cramp as I tried to fold them in a sitting cross-legged position.

God knows how long I'll be down here! Might as well get comfortable.

John's phone began to buzz against the couch. It stopped vibrating when he suddenly picked it up.

"Hey, I can't talk right now," he said in a whisper.

His voice fell distant as he walked away from the living room and closer to the window. I couldn't hear him anymore so I decided to stand up slowly, trying to not make any noise.

John's back was facing me and his hand was covering the phone speaker as he continued to whisper. He was definitely shirtless with only his boxers hanging loose off his waist.

"I can't do tomorrow, our nanny has just arrived from London. I'm free Wednesday afternoon if you are?"

The other person on the phone must have agreed to John's request because he made plans to see them.

"Great, I'll book the usual hotel. I'll just tell Emma I have a work meeting."

He was going to lie to Emma?

"Can't wait. See you then babe," I could hear the smile through his words. He sounded just as excited as I was to see Matthew.

John hung up the phone and turned to face the living room as he made his way back to the couch.

I quickly ducked back down and returned to my sitting position on the kitchen floor.

A hotel? Lying to Emma? And who the hell was he calling babe? Surely he wasn't cheating on his wife?

There's no way he would cheat on Emma. Why would he? He has everything; a beautiful wife, two adorable little girls, a stable job in the medical profession, and an amazing apartment in the Upper West side of Manhattan. They were the picture perfect family who had it all.

Within minutes, I heard the sound of John's snoring coming from the living room. He had fallen asleep on the couch, and I hastily made my way to my bedroom. I took one look at him before I slowly turned the knob to my bedroom door.

The light from his phone brightened his face as he fell asleep clutching it in his palm. I could just about make out the wrinkles on his forehead. He looked exhausted as his eyebrows frowned with tension.

If he was cheating, that's one thing we had in common. And there was only one way to find out for sure.