Matthew and I were seeing each other almost every day. We would make plants to meet up after I finished a ten hour shift with my host kids. We spent the evenings strolling through the streets of New York City and had dinner together at some of the finest restaurants.

I was impressed with Matthew's commitment towards me that I had forgotten all about Steven. My long-term boyfriend in London was a second thought. If he wasn't here, it was as if he never existed. He had no clue what I was doing when I wasn't with my host kids. Out of sight, out of mind.

My phone buzzed and I checked the notification to confirm it was a text from Steven.

"I have a surprise for you!"

Uh-oh. This can't be good.

"I'm flying over to see you!" His text read.

I video called Steven immediately.

"Hey!" I could tell he was excited to share his news with me.

"Hi, baby. Urm what's going on? What do you mean you're flying over?" I half-chuckled and half-smiled at the thought of him coming over.

Where would he even stay?

"I miss you and the last time we saw each other was when you left a month ago!" He was laying in bed, his hair tousled against the white pillow.

It was almost 9pm in England and Steven was getting ready for bed.

I, on the other hand, still had to make dinner for the girls.

"Aww, I miss you too, but I'm not sure if now is a great time. I'm just getting used to a routine with my host kids," I lied.

Truth was that I had grown accustomed to my host parent's routine weeks ago. I just wasn't ready for Steven. I was enjoying my life in New York City with Matthew, and without Steven.

Oh shit! What would I tell Matthew?! He doesn't know about Steven!

"I know baby, but I miss you!" He pleaded with those puppy dog eyes of his. "We hardly video call and even when we do, you can only talk for a few minutes."

He was right about that. During our phone calls, Steven was usually drifting off to sleep and I had to finish getting ready for date night with Matthew. It felt exhilarating, like I was living two different lives. I had the best of both worlds until now.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay? As in I can confirm my flight details and see you next week?" Steven was sitting up and propping his laptop on to his bed.

"Yes, okay. Sure!"

Steven emailed me his flight itinerary. He would be staying in an Airbnb, close to my host parent's apartment. He was only here for a week, but I knew he'd be attached to my hip for the whole seven days

What am I gonna tell Matthew? What am I gonna tell my host parents?!

***********************************************************************************************

I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on my date with Matthew that night, so I decided to cancel. Instead, I decided to spend more time with my host kids. Maybe that'll distract me from my boy problems.

The girls and I had been playing with their L.O.L dolls all morning and I was beginning to feel restless after being cooped up in the apartment.

Emma and John were working in their bedroom with the door wide open. I heard John say goodbye to his wife and gave the girls a kiss each before he left the apartment. He was wearing grey work trousers with a white shirt. Today, he looked the smartest out of all of the days I had seen him.

I had an inkling of where he was going and I was certain it was definitely not the office. I stared at the door as it shut behind him. A waft of his cologne lingered in the air.

This was the perfect time for some fresh air.

"Hey, is it okay if I take the girls outside for a quick walk?" I asked Emma from the living room.

"Outside? I wanna go outside!" Amelia squealed.

Ashley fiddled with her dolls and shoved them in the air, talking in her own language.

"I think the dolls can come with us too," I smiled back at Ashley.

"Yay!" She clapped her hands with glee, accidentally bashing the doll's head together.

"You can go outside but you have to listen to Alyssa. That means you, Amelia," said Emma.

"Yes, mama!" Amelia said as she rushed to put her crocs on.

"Yes, mama!" Ashley mimicked her sister.

If I left now, I could probably catch up with John if he was still walking down the street.

My odds, however, stood next to none as it took the girls nearly ten minutes to get them in the pram. Or as Amelia liked to correct me, the stroller.

I was fully prepared for the walk and so, I had packed extra snacks in case the girls felt hungry. Goldfishes and animal crackers went into a Ziploc bag along with two cartons of apple juice.

The girls were coated in sunscreen and wore matching pink sunglasses and summer hats.

We made our way down W 96th Street leading to Central Park. The girls sat quietly and absorbed the summer heat. On the other hand, I was sweating from head to toe in my jeans and short sleeved t-shirt.

The park felt cooler as shade covered our bodies with the help of the tall, green trees. I found a cool spot for us to sit where I could let the girls out of their stroller.

The girls pounced out of their seats and Amelia started to run in circles around a tree. Ashley, trying to keep up with her big sister, held my hand as we chased Amelia.

Dog walkers, tourists, joggers and groups of young and elderly people filled up the park. It was a scorching hot day and almost every spot in the park was taken. Central Park was by far the busiest parks of them all.

The girls, including myself, were gasping for a drink after all five minutes of running. I handed them their snacks and we sat on the grass for a short break.

There was a concrete path that snaked into the park. I noticed a tall male figure and a woman in a white dress with long, brown hair walking hand in hand with each other.

They walked closer towards us, completely oblivious to the world around them. It was John and his woman or girlfriend or mistress. Whatever you wanted to call it, he was with another woman that wasn't Emma and he was holding her hand, laughing.

I turned to look back at the girls, hoping they wouldn't notice the shocked expression on my face but they were too busy eating their snacks.

"Okay girls! I think it's time for us to go home," I said as I rubbed my hands together making a hasty decision.

I didn't want the girls to see their father with another woman, it wasn't fair on them.

"But we just got here!" Amelia started to yell.

"Shh Amelia, there's no need to yell. Use your inside voice, please!" I was starting to use my teacher voice which meant business only.

"But we're outside!" Amelia yelled back and people were now staring at us. I could feel their eyes on me, judging me and my parental ways.

"Oh for pete's sake!" I started packing the snacks away and Ashley started to cry mid-bite, revealing half-eaten crackers in her mouth.

"Look what you did! I'm gonna tell Mama!" Amelia tried calming Ashley down with no luck.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I said trying to quieten Ashley. I picked her up and held her until she stopped crying.

"Okay, it's okay. Shhh," I rocked Ashley back and forth as she rested her head on my shoulders.

"Okay, tell you what. Let's stay for ten more minutes. How does that sound?" I asked Amelia.

"Do we get ice-cream tonight?" Amelia asked.

She was a cheeky four year old.

"Yes, you can have ice-cream after dinner," I confirmed.

I set Ashley down next to Amelia. I placed the stroller in front of the girls, hiding their line of sight. Thankfully, John didn't notice us or witness Ashley's tantrum.

I snapped a quick picture of John and his mysterious woman on my phone. I only managed to get a picture of the back of them as they walked away from the park but it was enough evidence for now.

What I was going to do with the photo, I was unsure. But one thing was certain, my host dad was cheating on his wife.

***********************************************************************************************

I was getting ready to pick up Steven from the airport. After I told my host parents about Steven, they were surprisingly eager to meet him. They even insisted on having a family dinner together on his first night.

Riding the subway without Matthew felt lonely. I was accustomed to spending my time between my host family and Matthew, that I was completely oblivious to the world around me.

This time, I noticed the beggars on the platform station, the colourful freaks latching on to their mobile devices, and that hot wave of muggy air slapping my face.

Begrudgingly, I lied and told Matthew that this week would be really busy for me as my host parents were in Boston for work and I was solely responsible for the girls.

"Is that even legal? Can you work that many hours in a week?" Matthew had asked me over our phone call.

"Urmm.. We have an agreement about it and it's only a week so.." I hoped he would accept my excuse and move on.

"I'm gonna miss you," he said quietly.

"I know, baby, I'm gonna miss you too. But it's only a week and then, I'm all yours!" I said excitedly. "Maybe we can go away for a weekend."

"We could go to Atlantic City!" He suggested.

"That sounds great! I'll talk to you later, I have to go." We exchanged goodbyes over the phone as the subway pulled into JFK station. I still had to catch the air train to the airport but I was one step closer to seeing Steven.

As I waited eagerly for Steven, a lump in my throat had formed. The feeling of guilt left a heavy footing on my chest. I was lying to Steven and Matthew. Ultimately, I was lying to myself. The old Alyssa wouldn't do this. Ever.

This wasn't the time to re-evaluate my decisions, I had to put on a brave face and get through seven days with Steven and my host family. Plus, a whole week without Matthew.

Steven picked me up with both of his arms and hugged me for minutes on end.

"I can't breathe," I managed to squeeze out of his tight hold and he pressed his lips against mine.

"I've missed you," he said when we had a second to breathe within kisses.

I showed Steven pictures of the city on my phone as we rode the subway back to my host parent's apartment. Luckily, there were no pictures of me and Matthew on my phone. I had a separate folder for those.

"Wait, who's that?" He asked as he swiped his finger on my phone screen.

It was the picture I took of my host dad and the mysterious woman.

Shit!

"Urm.. that's my host dad," I replied, honestly, this time.

"Why do you have a picture of your host dad on your phone?" Steven's eyebrows furrowed.

"I think he's cheating on his wife," I whispered as I looked around to see if anyone was listening to us on the subway, feeling paranoid.

"WHAT?!" Steven yelled aloud.

"Ssh!" I said as I snatched my phone off him.

"What the hell? What do you mean? How do you know that for sure?" Steven asked all of the exact same questions that went through my mind.

"Look, I don't know for sure, but I heard him on the phone making plans with another woman. Then I saw him and another woman in Central Park. They were holding hands."

"Did you confront him? Did you tell your host mum?" He continued to ask me.

"No! Of course not. Are you crazy? It's none of my business!" I argued with him.

"Then why do you have a picture of him with that woman?" He shook his head in disapproval as if I did something wrong, as if I was the one who got caught cheating.

"I don't know, I really don't," I laid back into my seat, dropping my shoulders.

"You have to tell your host mum or someone. Don't you have a childcare consultant in the city?"

I had completely forgotten that I had a local representative whom I met with on a monthly basis. My first meeting with Laura was next week.

"I can't tell her. What if it affects my working status here? What if I get kicked out of the country?" If this was Steven's reaction to my host dad cheating, I couldn't imagine what he would do if he found out that I was cheating too.

"You wouldn't get kicked out of the country," Steven wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head.

After that, we rode the subway in silence until we reached the apartment.

"Please don't mention anything to anyone. Just act normal," I pleaded to Steven before we entered the apartment. I had text my host parents confirming we were heading up.

"Of course, you have nothing to worry about," Steven said and I breathed a sigh of relief.

John and Emma insisted Steven stay with us instead of an Airbnb.

"That's so kind of you, thank you so much!" Steven thanked both of them politely when we entered and I ushered him into my room to unpack his belongings.

"Will you be okay staying here? You know I'll have to work during the day but you can always go out and explore the city," I whispered.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine. As long as I'm with you, I don't care," Steven hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his waist, my hands clasped together.

This was going to be a long week!