“Lost & Found” (Revised), Ch.  15 (PG-13):  The December Holidays Bring Second Chances, November 25, 2014 Gratiana Lovelace

(An original fiction copyrighted by Gratiana Lovelace;  all rights reserved)
[(1) top right, story logo] 

[I will illustrate my story using my dream cast of --Richard Armitage for Matthew Drake, Kate Beckinsale for Jocelyn Burrows, Brenda Blethyn for Aunt Madge, Michael Crawford for Michael Ferguson, Gina McKee for Marcia Glass, James Frain for Vicar Nelson Marshall, and others.] 

Author’s Mature Content Note:  “Lost & Found” is love story with mature themes (D for drama and S for sensuality) of love and relationships.  Most chapters will be PG or PG-13. However, if you are unable or unwilling to attend a movie with the ratings I provide, then please do not read that chapter.  This is my disclaimer.

Recap from the previous installment:   Jocelyn has a chance meeting with the US Ambassador’s wife, Lucretia Lucy Baldridge, when Jocelyn collects her approved work visa paperwork at the consulate.  Then over lunch, she shares with Lucy about her love for Matthew, his recovering health, and their separation due to his aunt.  Lucy is nothing if not sympathetic and makes a suggestion that Jocelyn write to Matthew, and Jocelyn does.  Jocelyn eventually finds and beings work as an academic advisor at a London college.

However, it is nearly a month later that Matthew receives the misdirected mail--when he finalizes his resignation from the postal center because his voiceover work is picking up and can now support him.  Matthew is stunned and grateful, but Jocelyn’s note does not give her contact information--so he has no way of reaching her.

When Matthew’s wife and son died tragically two years ago, there was no hope of seeing them ever again. They were and are gone--lost to him forever, but remembered always in Matthew’s heart as his first loves.  But Jocelyn is alive, somewhere in London still--he can feel it, he can feel that she is nearby.  And until Matthew is told that Jocelyn has left England, he will live in hope of seeing her again one day.  And until that day of their reunion, Matthew’s heart will beat for her alone, for Jocelyn--as if a silver tether from his heart to her heart, links them together, to love always.

“Lost and Found”, Chapter 15 (PG-13):  The December Holidays Bring Second Chances

The rest of the Autumn season flies by for Matthew and Jocelyn—but separately.  Matthew continues his work on his vocal performance with his radio voice over work and taking some acting classes again for fun.  Though Matthew ends up serving as more of a mentor to the younger students in the classes--many of whom were familiar with some of Matthew’s artistic projects prior to the car accident two years ago that tragically claimed the life of his wife and son and severely injured him.

For her part, Jocelyn is able to find an academic advisor position at a London college--the small Richards College--as an academic advisor for their study abroad program to the US. And, she is allowed to live in the cheaper university housing near the school.  Jocelyn is delighted that the university also gives her an opportunity to work with their theatre department’s community outreach projects a bit.  With Jocelyn’s speech team performance background in her college days, she has always loved working with performers.  She is especially pleased to be a part of a weekly community workshop that gives local people  a chance to practice and then perform prose and verse—as well as to perform small one act plays.  

And, though Jocelyn has made more friends at her work--and Lucretia Baldridge keeps a caring eye upon Jocelyn with monthly lunches--Jocelyn is not dating anyone, because she is still in love with Matthew.   Despite Jocelyn wanting to phone Matthew and Aunt Madge several times, she does not, respecting Aunt Madge’s wishes— though, Jocelyn keeps Madge’s cell phone number in her address book. 

Yet, Jocelyn longs to be with Matthew again—if only to kiss and cuddle with him, though her heart wants more.  And, after two months of Jocelyn being apart from Matthew, it becomes clear to Jocelyn just how connected she and Matthew really are.   And the two months since then--now being parted from Matthew for four months--have only cemented Jocelyn’s love for Matthew.  Because, you see, Jocelyn and Matthew’s two romantic interludes were loving and joyous—and fruitful. 

Jocelyn pines away for Matthew and for what might have been—not the least of which is because she is now four months pregnant with their child.  A child that she wants very much and whom she will now have to raise by herself because she does not want to over burden Matthew during his continuing recovery.  And Jocelyn feels that since his therapist Marcia Glass has either not given Matthew her phone number, because Jocelyn’s presence in Matthew’s life is still not welcome--or she has given Matthew Jocelyn’s phone number and he chooses not to contact her--Jocelyn feels that she has to face facts and move on.  She will be a single mother, bringing up her child alone. And Jocelyn feels very much alone, but resolved to give her baby all the love and caring that he or she deserves.

And the December Holidays can be a particularly lonely time of year for some--despite all of the making merry by shops festively decorated and holiday music on radio and store PA systems—especially if you are separated from the person whom you love most in the world.  So, Jocelyn dives into helping with the many December Holiday theatrical productions as a way of distracting herself, before her plans to leave England in the new year.

***

With Matthew’s voice over career taking off again, he is kept very busy.  But, he longs for the immediacy and personal nature of stage performance.  He has been a performer since his early college days over twenty years ago.  And, now that he is almost fully recovered from the accident, he relishes being a performer again.  The London Readers’ Theatre (LRT)  invites him to be a guest reader for their reader’s theatre performance of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”  [(2) right]. 

There will be no sets or costuming or makeup involved.  Just several actors on stage in front of script stands, reading and performing the story while images relevant to the story flash on a film screen behind and above them.  This performance embodies the essence of storytelling, actors weaving tales through inviting the audience to use their imaginations.

And, in turn, Aunt Madge has softened further toward Matthew and his love for Jocelyn--as Madge and Michael have reconnected.  In truth, Aunt Madge wishes that she had not overreacted when she found out that Matthew and Jocelyn were in love and lovers.  And, though Jocelyn has tried to enjoy her time in London, she will be returning to the States some time after New Years Day.  With her being pregnant, Jocelyn needs a support group of friends and family around her.  And, she has not been able to develop that in London.  So, Jocelyn is going home.

***
Since Jocelyn is now moving in some theatre circles, she pays more attention to plays and media and voice over notices, etc.  Jocelyn hears about Matthew’s upcoming  “A Christmas Carol” performance to be held at The London Readers’ Theatre’s venue.  So, she attends its last performance on a Friday afternoon, Dec. 19th.  It is not like Jocelyn will reveal her growing pregnancy belly.  Jocelyn sits in the very back of the balcony so no one will notice her—not that the performers could see anyone even in the front row due to the lights any way.  However, Jocelyn does not want to take any chances.  But Jocelyn also sits such that she can still get a glimpse of Matthew on the stage.  

Then, across the balcony, Jocelyn is surprised to see a familiar face—that of Marcia Glass, Matthew’s Speech Therapist.  Jocelyn nods at Marcia, who also nods back at her.  Of course as one of the performers, Matthew was given several tickets to give to friends and family.  And Aunt Madge and Michael also have great seats for this performance in the middle of the orchestra section on the main floor—but Jocelyn does not know that.  The Dickens’ story and actors’ performances are riveting.  In fact, Matthew is performing as Scrooge—a man who gets a second chance at life, not unlike Matthew.  And to Jocelyn, Matthew is mesmerizing.

***

During the 15 minute intermission, the audience mingles with each other drinking cocktails and other spirits of the holiday season on the main and balcony levels.  However, for the pregnant Jocelyn, she is more interested in visiting the bathroom to relieve herself of fluids rather than in consuming more fluids.  As Jocelyn [(3) right]  returns from the Ladies Room, Marcia Glass stops to chat with her.

Marcia:  “So Jocelyn, you’re looking well.  You’re complexion looks especially nice.  What’s your secret?”  Marcia says to open a pleasant topic of conversation.  She feels that amends will have to be made to Jocelyn if Matthew is to be truly happy.

Of course Jocelyn has a very big secret—Matthew’s baby that she is carrying.  But, her long sleeved empire waisted deep purple velvet romantic holiday dress with an ivory colored lace collar that she is wearing conceals that.  But Jocelyn is still wary of Marcia, her not knowing what part Marcia had to play in her separation from Matthew. So, Jocelyn replies courteously. 

Jocelyn:  “Thank you, Marcia.  And you look very nice yourself.”

Marcia:  “Thank you, Jocelyn,”  There is a somewhat of an awkward silence between them and then, Marcia [(4) right]  says  “Well, Matthew is in fine voice tonight.”

Jocelyn:  “Yes, I’ve never seen him perform.  So, I’m quite bowled over by his talent.”  Then Jocelyn places her hand upon her back in pain.  “I’m sorry, but can we sit down?  My back seems to be hurting me more and more these days.”  And they find a soft upholstered bench against a wall and sit down on it.

Marcia:  Marcia pauses and then asks hesitantly. “Aren’t you going to ask me how Matthew is doing?”

Jocelyn:   Jocelyn freezes.  “Well Marcia, I assumed that asking about Matthew was off limits for me.”  Jocelyn tries to say benignly, but the hurt is clearly evident in her voice.  And Jocelyn longs for news about and contact with Matthew.

Marcia:  “True, if Matthew were still a patient of mine, I would not be able to speak to you about him.  But, he’s graduated, so to speak.  And, in truth, Aunt Madge feels badly about the way she overreacted to you when she found out that you and Matthew were … a romantic couple.  It took her by surprise.”

Jocelyn tries to maintain a calm and poised demeanor.  But being around Marcia again makes Jocelyn’s separation from Matthew feel hopeless.

Jocelyn:  “Well, it’s all water under the bridge now as they say.  I’m sure that Matthew has moved on and found someone else now that he’s well.”   Jocelyn tears up while looking down at her hands--because, of course, the only love for Jocelyn is Matthew.

Marcia:  “No, I don’t think he’s dating anyone.” 

Jocelyn:  “Oh.”  Jocelyn nods, secretly thrilled, but she knows it would be better for Matthew to be in a loving relationship.

Madge and Michael have been standing off to one side waiting to see if they might speak to Jocelyn.  Marcia motions for Madge and Michael to walk over to Jocelyn and herself.

Marcia:  “But here comes Madge [(5) right] and Michael and we can ask them.” 

Jocelyn had not expected to see Marcia—let alone Madge and Michael--here tonight and she is somewhat discomfited by it.  But she stands courteously—and also since it is more flattering for her empire waisted dark purple velvet holiday dress hiding her pregnancy tummy—and she greets them after they hug Marcia in greeting.  Though Jocelyn just shakes hands with Madge and Michael  because she is uncertain how Madge will react to her--her wondering if Madge is still angry with her.  And were Jocelyn to hug someone, they might be able to tell that she is pregnant—since she is starting her fifth month and her belly has popped and her pregnancy is starting to show, despite her figure camouflaging dress that she is wearing.

Michael:  “Well, Jocelyn, fancy meeting you herrre.”  Michael [(6) right]  says cheerfully.   He has hoped that they might get a chance to make amends to Jocelyn--for Matthew’s sake.

Aunt Madge:  “Hello Jocelyn, Dear.”  Aunt Madge says warmly and looks very contrite.

Jocelyn:  “Hello everyone.  I trust that you are all well.”   Jocelyn greets them benignly, but courteously.  Jocelyn is trying to keep the conversation civil because the last time she was in Aunt Madge’s company, Aunt Madge had angrily chastised Jocelyn for loving Matthew--for Jocelyn making love with Matthew.  And actually, Jocelyn’s bland voice is not unlike Matthew’s disaffected tone when she first met him.  Jocelyn is holding on to her emotions by the barest thread.

Aunt Madge:  “Thank you Jocelyn Dear.  And you look well.  So, you were able to find a job in London after all?”   Madge asks solicitously and warmly.

Jocelyn:  “Yes, but I’m heading home to the States after the New Year.”  Jocelyn says quietly, but sadly.

Just then, someone tries to slip behind Jocelyn in the crush of the throng of people milling about during intermission and Jocelyn instinctively moves her hands to protect her pregnant tummy.

Michael:  “Arrre ye alrrright, Jocelyn?”  Michael asks her curiously after noticing her reaction.

Jocelyn:  “I’m fine.”  Then changing the subject on purpose, Jocelyn says with unabashed admiration “Matthew is in fine voice tonight.  I knew he had a nice speaking voice, but I never realized what a talented performer he is.”

Aunt Madge:  “Yes, Matthew worked diligently on his voice with Marcia, until she pronounced him cured.”  Aunt Madge gestures to Marcia, who nods her thanks for Aunt Madge’s praise.

Just then, the lights blink on and off—signaling to the audience to return to their seats in five minutes.  And Jocelyn feels that she has her reprieve from this awkward meeting.

Jocelyn:  “Well, the lights mean that we need to take our seats.  If you’ll excuse me, I have to go powder my nose again.”

Michael:  Michael holds out his hand to get Jocelyn’s attention--as in hopes to broker a peace between the two women. “Please wait, Jocelyn.  Madge, don’t you have something that you want to say to Jocelyn?”  Michael squintingly looks down at Madge, who looks up at him wincingly.

Aunt Madge:  “Yes, … I…  Jocelyn, I’m sorry to have reacted so strongly …” Michael looks at Madge pointedly “… so negatively to you and Matthew being a couple.  I was wrong.”   She says sincerely while looking at Jocelyn.

Jocelyn had not expected words of apology from Aunt Madge.  But Jocelyn feels that they are too late to make any difference in her plans to return to the states after the New Year.  However, Jocelyn musters her good manners and thanks Aunt Madge as graciously as she can.

Jocelyn:  “Well, thank you for saying that, Aunt Madge.  But, I think we’ve all moved on.  It looks like Matthew has moved on…  and I’m glad for him to find his way back to doing what he loves to do.”  Jocelyn smiles wanly.  She is truly glad for Matthew.  But a part of her still misses him so.

Marcia:  “That’s very gracious of you to say, Jocelyn.” Marcia says sincerely--and hoping that Jocelyn and Matthew can reconnect.

Aunt Madge:  “Won’t you meet us after the performance and see Matthew?  I know he would like to see you.” Madge suggests winsomely, also hoping that Matthew and Jocelyn can get back together.  Madge knows that  her nephew has made great strides in his recovery and she now no longer resents Jocelyn for her helping in that.

Jocelyn:  Tearing up, though trying to hide it, Jocelyn tries to respond stoically  “Well, since I’m leaving England in a few weeks, it’s probably best if we don’t meet.  There’s no point really.” 

But in truth, Jocelyn does not think that she could take leaving Matthew if she were to meet with him again—especially since she is pregnant with their child.

Aunt Madge:  “Well, Jocelyn Dear.  It’s up to you.  We’re meeting in the lobby after the performance.”

They all smile pleasantly at each other and then leave to take their seats.  While Jocelyn also visits the Ladies Room again.

***

The remainder of the “A Christmas Carol” performance after the intermission is a blur for Jocelyn.  She was so startled to see Marcia and Aunt Madge and Michael, that she has not had time to process how she feels about them.  Nor has Jocelyn decided if she will see Matthew after the performance today.  Of course, Jocelyn could have left the theatre after the intermission—which would have certainly prevented her from seeing Matthew and him from seeing her.  But, Jocelyn just could not do that--just as Jocelyn was drawn to attend Matthew’s performance this afternoon, she is also drawn to stay.   

Jocelyn opens her program playbill [(7) right] to the page profiling Matthew and she strokes his picture—wishing that she could caress his face.  But, at least, she will have this program booklet to show their child one day when he or she is old enough—to show him or her what their daddy looks like, even though his stern countenance in the photograph reflects the character of Scrooge that he portrays. 

The performance ends to great applause.  The reader’s theatre performance of “A Christmas Carol” was really wonderful and Matthew receives a standing ovation.  Jocelyn can tell that Matthew is strong and confident as he graciously receives this recognition.  She is glad for him.  Of course, after the performance, Jocelyn visits the Ladies Room again.  Pregnant ladies, such as herself, have to do this often.  It also gives her a chance to wait out the crowds so that she is not caught in the crush of people leaving since she does not want to be jostled with her being pregnant.  However, Jocelyn waiting to leave—either intentionally or unintentionally—causes her to run into Marcia and Aunt Madge and Michael as she goes to leave through the theatre lobby.

Marcia:  “Jocelyn.  It’s good to see you again.  Wasn’t that a wonderful performance?” Marcia asks her hopefully.

Jocelyn:  “Yes, it was.  Please give my congratulations to Matthew.”  Jocelyn says as she starts to tear up.

Aunt Madge:  “Well, you could tell Matthew that yourself, Dear.  He’ll be out here any minute.” Madge suggests tentatively.

Jocelyn:  “No!”  Jocelyn realizes that she spoke too forcefully just now,from Aunt Madge’s startled reaction. So he softens.   “Please just tell him for me.”  Jocelyn starts to walk across the large theatre lobby to the front doors--her tears are stinging her eyes.

Michael:  “But Jocelyn, Matthew won’t understand why you didn’t stay to at least say hello.” Michael looks at Jocelyn pointedly.

Jocelyn is trying to stop herself from crying because, of course, she longs to see Matthew and have him take her in his strong arms and kiss her lovingly.  But she feels that it is too late for them.  Or, at least, that is what she tells herself.  So Jocelyn turns back to look at them and says.

Jocelyn:   “Please just tell Matthew …”  Jocelyn stops as she sees him, Matthew, looking more handsome than she remembers.

Standing at the entrance to the theatre lobby, looking tall and commanding in a suit jacket over a casually unbuttoned dress shirt, Matthew Drake  [(8) right] is stunned and thrilled to see his love, Jocelyn.  And she looks even more beautiful to him in her lovely purple velvet dress and her long flowing hair.

Matthew:  “Tell me what, Jocelyn?”   Matthew’s deep velvety confident baritone voice that Jocelyn knows so well, still trembles with his love for her.

Jocelyn is frozen where she stands.  And with her not fully turned to speak to Matthew, her slightly plump profile is a bit more evident--though, Madge, Michael, Matthew, and Marcia are not attuned to it quite yet.

Jocelyn:  Then regaining her composure, Jocelyn warmly greets him.  “Hello Matthew.  Yours was a wonderful performance.  Everyone loved it.  I’m so glad for you.”   Jocelyn smiles sincerely at him and she tries to sound cheerful as she holds back her tears.

Matthew immediately crosses the lobby--closing the distance between he and Jocelyn.   And he takes her gently in his arms.

Matthew:  “I’ve missed you so, Jocelyn.”  Matthew adoringly gazes upon her sweet facing with love in his heart.

Jocelyn is speechless, wondering if she is dreaming Matthew holding her in his arms again.  Then Matthew clarifies the reality of his embrace as he leans down and he kisses Jocelyn [(9) right] on her lips and she cannot help but respond to him.  Jocelyn has longed for this moment.  Matthew and Jocelyn stand there in the theatre lobby kissing and embracing for several minutes.  Madge, Michael, and Marcia watch their reunion with beaming faces filled with joy. 

When their lips part, Jocelyn caresses Matthew’s face as her tear filled eyes gaze into his tear filled eyes.  She sees the strong and confident man before her that she knew he could be—that her love and faith in him helped him to be.

Jocelyn:  “I’ve missed you so, Matthew.”  Jocelyn whispers to Matthew.

Matthew:  Matthew responds in a hushed voice.   “As I have missed you.  I have thought of you every day, Jocelyn.”

Then Matthew  and Jocelyn kiss again, oblivious to the others around them in the theatre’s lobby.  And this time Matthew’s and Jocelyn’s bodies mold themselves to each other.  But, of course, Jocelyn’s pregnancy plumpness is now apparent to Matthew.  Jocelyn tries to pull back from him a bit and says shyly.

Jocelyn;   “You have to be gentle with me Matthew.”  Jocelyn gazes into Matthew’s steel blue kind eyes.

Matthew:  “Jocelyn?” Matthew looks at Jocelyn questioningly—having felt her plump tummy when they embraced each other. 

Jocelyn knows that she will have to tell Matthew that she is pregnant with his child.  It is a conversation that she has both longed for and viewed with uncertainty.  But a theatre lobby is too public a place to hold such an intimate discussion. 

Jocelyn:   So, Jocelyn suggests to Matthew.  “Matthew, would you like to go get a bite to eat?” 

Though Jocelyn does not realize it, her free hand that is not clasping her program, is laying protectively on her tummy.  And Aunt Madge and Marcia notice this very womanly and motherly pose, and they tilt their heads to each other.

Matthew:  Nodding his head and gently clasping Jocelyn’s hand in his, he says to her.  “Yes, we need to talk.”  Then Matthew turns to his family and friends and greets them.  “Aunt Madge, Michael, and Marcia.  Thanks so much for coming.  I’ll see you tomorrow on Saturday for lunch at the pub as we planned.”

Aunt Madge:  “Yes, Matthew Dear.  You were wonderful tonight.  Have a nice time with Jocelyn.” 

Aunt Madge waves cheerfully, even as Michael smiles and puts his arm around her shoulders in an embrace.  Marcia smiles in relief, that Matthew and Jocelyn have finally reunited.

Matthew:  Then turning to Jocelyn and putting his arm around her shoulders, Matthew guides her outside to the taxi stand.  “Let’s go.”

To be continued with Chapter 16

“Lost & Found” (Revised), Ch. 15  References for Wattpad, Nov. 25 2014 Gratiana Lovelace

1)   “Lost & Found” title graphic representing Matthew is an artistic blurring of a portrait of the Spooks character Lucas North (as portrayed by British actor Richard Armitage) found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Spooks/Spooks9/album/episode2/album/slides/2_199.html

2)  “A Christmas Carol” Playbill cover was created by Gratiana Lovelace; the cover illustration of Scrooge and Marley is by John Leech from an early edition of the Dickens book, as shared in electronic form by Project Gutenberg and was found at http://www.gutenberg.org/files/46/46-h/46-h.htm

3) Image representing Jocelyn is a cropped portrait of the British actress Kate Beckinsale found at  http://ibelievedress.com/Public/Uploads/Products/20130115/Gorgeous%20Kate%20Beckinsale%20High%20Neck%20Evneing%20Party%20Cocktail%20Dress%20Knee%20Length%20Celebrity.jpg

4)  Image representing Matthew’s therapist Marcia Glass is a portrait of the British actress Gina McKee found at http://www.firth.com/images/father/gmk.jpg

5) Image representing Madge is a portrait of the British actress Brenda Blethyn found at http://images.zap2it.com/images/celeb-9129/brenda-blethyn-2.jpg

6) Image representing Michael Ferguson bartender is a portrait of the British Actor Michael Crawford found at http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/images/episode/p00941p7_640_360.jpg

7)  Matthew’s bio playbill inside image is that of John Thornton (as portrayed by Richard Armitage) in the BBC’s 2004 production of North & South, episode 1 (pix 155) was found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/nands/album/episode1/slides/ns1-155.html; the Charles Dickens preface is a quote from an early edition of the book “A Christmas Carol” , as shared in electronic form by Project Gutenberg and was found at http://www.gutenberg.org/files/46/46-h/46-h.htm

8) Cropped image representing Mathew is a portrait of Richard Armitage from the 2010 promos http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Richard/Promos/2010Promo/album/slides/20Dec2010-Perou-04.html

9) Cropped image representing Matthew kissing Jocelyn is that of John Porter (portrayed by Richard Armitage) kissing Dani (portrayed by Shelly Conn) in Strike Back Series 1, episode 5 (pix 34)

“Lost & Found” (Revised), Ch. 15 Images for Wattpad, Nov. 25, 2014 Gratiana Lovelace

 http://gratianads90.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/blostfoundch15wattpadimages_nov2514gratianalovelacerev.jpg