I heard the door to the front door open and immediately got out of bed.  It was almost 3 in the morning.  John had been gone for hours.  

“Hi.” I said as I walked into the living room. 

“Hey.” John said stumbling into the room.  

“You’ve been drinking.” I said aloud.  

I had figured that much, but his lack of motor skills confirmed my suspicion.  I was tempted to tell him he really should avoid mixing his medicine with alcohol, but refrained since I didn’t see any good would come of it.

“Yeah.” John said as he sat down on the couch.  

 “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

I sat down next to him. 

“You want to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what, luv?” 

“Well…you know…about you…and the Beatles.” 

“There are no more Beatles.  Didn’t you hear?  They’re done.  Over.  Just waiting now on some bullshit paperwork to make it official.” John said shifting his weight so he was looking at me. 

“I’m sorry, John.” 

“Don’t be.”

“I know this must be hard for you.” 

“I’m over it.” 

“Are you?” 

“Yeah.”

“I just want you to know I’m here for you.  For whatever you need.” 

“I know…” he smiled. “You know what I really need right now? I need to kiss you.” 

“I believe I can help you with that.”

“I’m sure you can.” John said as he leaned in and kissed me, tipping me onto my back.  

“John...” I said as I pulled away from John. “Elise is in the next room.” 

“We’ll be quiet.” He winked and resumed what he was doing. 

***

The day had finally arrived.  Julian and Cynthia would be here within the hour.  After long talks, we had finally reached an arrangement.  John, Elise and I would be moving in with my parents and Julian and Cynthia would be staying in my apartment.  We had talked to Elise about Julian's arrival.  She was absolutely thrilled to know she had an older brother and that she would be meeting him soon.  Elise and I would be sharing my old bedroom while John stayed in the guest bedroom. My parents most likely knew John and I were involved, but while John remained married to Yoko, it created an awkward situation for them to have John and me in the same room, so I opted to not put them in that predicament.  John understood- in fact he rather enjoyed the idea of having me sneak into his room.  

"Are they here yet?" Elise tugged at my arm. 

"Almost, sweetheart."

"How much longer?" She asked excitedly. 

John chuckled.  "Very soon!" John said just as excited.  He picked up Elise in his arms and walked to the window so she could see the planes arrive.  I watched as John pointed to the planes that had already arrived and Elise giggled in delight.  I couldn't help but smile at this...and to think in a short time, John would be reunited with his son and Elise would have a big brother.  

It took another 45 minutes before their plane arrived.  By this time, Elise was jumping up and down with excitement.  All three of us patiently waited for them to get off the plane.  John spotted Cynthia as she made her way out of the plane and pointed to her and the boy she was holding onto.  

"There they are!" John said pointing to them.  "That's your brother, Elise."

We all smiled as we waited for them to get closer.  Cynthia waved and smiled when she saw John.  She leaned in and said something to Julian.  He looked over at us and smiled too, pulling Cynthia as he hurried over to us.  

"Julian!" John said as he hugged his son. 

Cynthia and I smiled.  Our eyes met and she slowly approached me.  

"Hi Mirel." 

"Hi Cynthia."

"Hi." Cynthia said kneeling down to Elise's level. 

"Cynthia, this is Elise.  Elise, this is Cynthia.  Julian's mom."  I said.  

"Hi!" Elise said throwing herself into Cynthia's arms. 

Both Cynthia and I laughed at her sweet gesture. 

"Thank you for bringing me a brother!" Elise continued. 

"You are very welcome!" Cynthia laughed.  Elise let her go as John approached them. 

"Julian...this is your sister, Elise." John said as he introduced Elise to him. 

Elise immediately let Cynthia go and ran over to Julian to give him a very intense hug. 

Julian laughed and hugged her back.  

While the kids hugged, John went over to Cynthia and gave her a hug too.

"It's good to see you, Cyn." Mirel heard John tell Cynthia. 

"Nice to see you too, John." 

***

"Now if you guys need anything, please let me know.  I have extra towels in the linen closet and we just stocked the fridge." 

"Thank you, Mirel.  This is so nice of you to let us stay here."

"It's no problem at all, Cynthia. I'm so happy you and Julian are here.  John was so excited that Julian would be staying here."

"I've never seen John so...paternal." Cynthia said as she looked at John playing with the kids in Elise's room.  "Elise is adorable...."

"Thank you. Julian has grown so much since I last saw him. He's becoming a young man. He looks so much like John." I said. 

"Yes.  Very much, but you know something?  Elise takes a lot after John…much more than Julian." 

"She was so excited to learn she had a brother.  She couldn't wait to meet him.  She'd talk about him all the time.  Telling everyone she met how her big brother was going to be coming."

"They're getting along wonderfully.  Julian always wanted a little brother or sister...when he found out about Elise...he was so happy.  I'm glad they are getting to spend this time together...and with John."

"So...has John talked to you...about the amnesia?" I asked. 

"A little bit." Cynthia said turning towards me.  "He mostly wants to talk about Julian...and what we've been doing since...since 1967.  I can't believe he doesn't remember anything that happened."

"I can tell you it's been hard for him..."

"I can imagine...but it's so...different...he's so different.  Everything that happened between us...everything he and Yoko did to me...to Julian...it's hard to just forget it."

"But..." I started, "...it was me who...who caused the divorce between you and John." 

"Yes...and no....you came along at a time that John and I were....well...we weren't in a good place in our marriage.  We were on different pages...and...you always tried to have John involved in Julian's life...I'll always be grateful for that." 

"And it wasn't the case with Yoko?"

"Oh no...far from it.  John was a completely different person when he got involved with Yoko.  At least I recognized John when he was with you.  I wasn't happy about it...who would be, right?  I was still in love with John when you showed up...but even though we were no longer together, he was still a familiar person.  When he got involved with Yoko...I didn't know him.  There was nothing of the John I knew when we were growing up.  He was nowhere to be seen...he was so hostile towards me...so hurtful and judgmental...and vengeful."

"I'm sorry." I said.

Cynthia nodded and smiled.  "But you did an amazing job with Elise.  I commend you..."

"I have to admit that...part of the reason I never said anything about Elise was because of what I saw with John and Julian."

"You did what you had to do as a mum."

I nodded.

"So...tell me about the amnesia...how serious is it?"

"The doctor says there's no treatment for it.  He says that we should just talk to him...that he should listen to his music...see pictures...maybe something will trigger his memory.  I told him that I am of little help with that...I didn't have any contact with him for years...I don't know anything about his life besides what the media talked about, you know?"

"So...where's Yoko in all of this?"

"In New York..she's not too happy with me, I'm sure."  

Cynthia smiled. "You need to be careful with that one..."

"So I've been told.   John doesn't remember her...at all.  That fact infuriates Yoko...and I'm sure makes her anxious."

"Mmmm....she's not going to sit this one out.  She's planning something.  I can guarantee you this." Cynthia said. 

***

"So how are things going?" Emma said as she sat down in my office. 

"Good..." I said.  "John's been talking a lot with Cynthia.  She's been very informative.  And Julian and Elise are absolutely delighted with each other."

"How is John with the kids?" 

"Wonderful.  Him spending this time with Julian...and Elise as well, has been a big change from the man both Cynthia and I remember." 

"How about Paul, George and Ringo?" 

"Oh..well John doesn't want to tell them anything." 

"They don't know?" She asked surprised. 

"No...and next week John is supposed to go to New York and sign the papers for the dissolution of the band." 

"Wow...how does he feel about that?" 

"He hasn't really talked about it to me.  I don't think he's very happy about it though." I responded not wanting to go into detail about what John had confessed to me. 

"And Yoko?" 

I sighed. "She's been...difficult." 

"How so?" 

"She keeps insisting that John move back to New York...to stay with her.  She even showed up at my parent's house one day! How she found out the address, I don't really know...maybe she asked Harry, but there she was, standing outside our door determined to talk to John." 

"Did she?" 

"Yes.  It was the only way to get her to leave." 

"Does John remember her?"

"No.  Not yet. He says he's not about to go and move in with a complete stranger...even if she is legally his wife." 

"Has he talked about...divorcing her?" Emma asked curiously. 

"No...not to me...maybe it's crossed his mind, but he hasn't told me anything...and I don't want to bring it up." 

"Well he's going to have to make a decision about it sooner or later."

"Most likely later.  I think he has too much on his plate already with the whole amnesia, father, beatles thing going on...adding in a divorce right now would put him over the edge, don't you think?"

"I see your point. So how are things between the two of you." 

"They're going well...he's sweet and caring and I love seeing him with the kids.  It makes me love him so much more.  It's crazy to see him as a dad...doing dad things.  I...I just never thought it would happen." 

"And you and Cynthia?"

"Cynthia and I have always gotten along.  I think we would have been great friends had...had the whole John and me thing not happened.  She's a lovely person." 

***

"Thanks for coming with me." John said as we made our way through the airport.  We were headed to New York City where the final dissolution of The Beatles was going to take place.  

"Of course." I said as I squeezed his hand. 

Cynthia had agreed to stay with both Julian and Elise at the apartment.  She had spent the last few weeks filling John in on a lot of their personal life.  Although John didn't tell me too many specifics, he did confess he couldn't believe what an asshole he had been to Cynthia.  

A few fans asked John for an autograph as we waited for the airplane to arrive.  It had been John's idea to take a commercial flight.  He'd never admit it, but I knew John craved the recognition from his fans- his face lit up every time someone approached him for a photo or an autograph.  He was pleasant and quite approachable- very different from how he'd been before.  

"To think that they have no idea why I am heading to New York.  If they only knew it is to officially break up the band." John whispered in my ear just before we boarded the plane.

We got to our hotel a little after 9pm.  We ordered a light dinner and went straight to bed.  John's meeting was set for tomorrow morning at the Plaza Hotel.  Ringo had signed the papers in England since he wouldn't be able to make the trip to New York, so Paul, George and John were the only ones left to sign the documents. 

I woke up before the alarm went off only to find John sitting at the table, staring out the window.  I looked over and saw it was 4:53am. 

"Hey..." I said sitting up.  "How long have you been up?" I asked John. 

"An hour or so.  Couldn't sleep."  

"You should try to get some sleep.  Your meeting isn't until 11 today." I said as I made my way towards him and put my hands on his shoulders.  He was tense.  

"You need to relax, John." I said as I massaged his shoulders.  

John sighed loudly, but didn't say anything.  He just kept looking out. 

"Things will be alright." I said trying to sound confident.  

"Yeah." John finally spoke.  He turned his head and kissed my left hand. 

"C'mon.  Let's get back to bed.  It's going to be a long day." 

"Okay." I said as we both went back to bed. 

***

"Are you ready? We're going to be late.  The meeting starts in 15 minutes and we still have to get clear across town." I asked as John walked out of the bathroom.  His hair was still wet and he wasn't wearing any shoes.  He walked and sat down on the bed.  I quickly took his socks and shoes to him.  I handed them to him, but he just set them down next to his feet.  

"What's wrong?" I asked anxiously, but he didn't respond.  "John?  We have to go." 

But John didn't seem in any hurry to leave the room.  I stood in front of him, waiting for him to say or do something, but he didn't.  I quietly set my purse down on the table and walked back to him.  I knelt down in front of him and put my hands on his knees. 

"John?  Talk to me." I said gently.  

He didn't say anything for a minute or so.

"Please? Say something." I nudged him. 

"I don't think I'm going to go to the Plaza Hotel."  

"Why not?" 

 " I...I just don't fee like going." 

"Shall I call and let them know?"

"No.  It's alright." 

"Okay." I responded.  "Ummm...do you need me to do anything?" 

"Just lay in bed with me for a sec?"  John asked as he took my hand. 

I layed there as he cuddled next to me, while I stroked his hair.  I was confused.  Had he let someone know he wouldn't be heading to the hotel?  Did the others know?  Did his own lawyer know?  After a few minutes, I looked over at John and noticed he was fast asleep.   This wasn't exactly the best time to get some shut eye.  I couldn't help but feel anxious, but hearing John's steady breathing calmed me down to the point that I too feel asleep.  

I had no idea how long I'd fallen asleep, but the phone ringing on the nightstand woke me up.  

John groggily pulled away and rubbed his eyes. 

"Bloody ' ell..." 

I straightened up and answered the phone. 

"Hello?"

"Mirel?"

"Yes."

"This is Harold Seider, John's lawyer...do you know where John is?  He's supposed to have been at the Plaza Hotel an hour ago.  We're all waiting for him." 

"Uhh...John...is...here."

"Great.  Can I talk to him?" 

"Sure."

"John- it's Harold- you're lawyer."  I covered the receiver. 

"I don't want to talk to him."

"John" I whispered loudly. "Everyone is waiting for you..you need to at least talk to your lawyer."

"Tell him to bugger off." John said and turned on his side facing away from me."

I sighed in frustration before getting back on the phone.  "Ummm...Harold?...John doesn't want to come to the phone." 

"Excuse me?  I need to talk to him.  What's going on?  Everyone's ready to sign the documents and we're all waiting for him." 

"Well...he...he's still here at our hotel..."

I could hear the frustration in his voice. " Mirel...this is important.  I need to talk to him, please." 

"I know...hold on, let me try to get him on the phone again." 

"John..."I said patting him on the shoulder. 

"Bugger off Harold!" John said loud enough for him to hear. 

"John, please! Just take the phone!" I urged him. 

John finally obliged and took the receiver.  

"Stars aren't right, mate.  Let's leave it for another time, eh?" And immediately hung up, not letting Harold get in another word.  John laid back on his side, facing away from me and I was left in shock.  

"Stars aren't right?  What does that mean?" I asked. 

"Just let it go, Mirel." John mumbled. 

About three minutes later, the phone rang again.  I looked at it hesitantly, but picked it up by the second ring. 

"Hello?" I asked. 

"Where's John?" George barked on the phone. 

"Ummm...he's here.  Just a sec." 

John reluctantly turned around and sat up before taking the phone. 

" 'ello?"

"What is your fuckin' problem John? We're all waiting for you to sign these bloody papers and you don't bother showing up!?!" 

George could be heard yelling through the receiver.  John moved the receiver slightly away from his ear. 

"The fuckin' lawyers are all here!  Do you think this is a fuckin' game?  This has been draggin' on for years!!  Now stop being an asshole and get over here!"

"It's just...not the right time, mate." John managed to say. 

"Not the right time!?! Are you...ugh!" George yelled before the phone went dead. 

 "Well that didn't go well."

"What did you expect, John?" I asked softly as I took the receiver and hung up.  "Everyone came down to sign the papers...including us...and you just go and...change everything." 

"I have a right to think about this.  This is my group, you know?" 

"You forfeit your right when the rest of the guys don't know what's really going on.  They think you're just out to mess with them...they don't know you haven't had the time they've had to assimilate to this whole thing.  Or not remember anyhow. You need to tell them." 

"I don't have to tell them...and I forbid you to tell them.  I'm going to sign...I just...it's just not the right time...it doesn't feel right." 

"Because they don't know the truth, John...maybe if you tell them th--"

"No...there is no need for them to find out.  It won't make a difference, anyhow.  The group is done.  Over.  Them knowing I don't remember how or when it happened doesn't make a difference." 

"But it---" I started.

"Enough, Mirel." 

"...does make a difference." I said under my breath. 

John stood up and walked out to the balcony.  I sighed and layed back on the bed.   Everything would be so much easier if he simply admitted to the boys what had happened.  They'd understand, wouldn't they?  What was John so afraid of?  These guys were his friends...I mean they'd fought, but John didn't even remember all of that.  

About an hour later, there was a knock on the door.  I looked at John, who was now sitting at the desk drinking a cup of tea, before I headed towards the door.  

"Paul." I said.  I couldn't say I was surprised to see him.

"Hi Mirel. How are you, luv?" He said giving me a hug.  

"Hi....where's Linda?" I asked taking notice.  

"She stayed back at the Plaza Hotel." He said smiling.  

"Come in..." I said moving out of the way.  

"Hi, luv." George said trying hard to smile. 

I hadn't seen George in a very long time.  We had talked on the phone a few times, but I hadn't seen him since I left England.  I couldn't help but throw myself at him.  

"It's so great to see you, George!" 

"It's wonderful to see you too!" George said allowing himself to not only smile, but laugh as well while he hugged me. 

"Please come in..."

By the time George and I walked in, Paul and John were standing face to face.  

"John..." George said walking straight over to him,  "What's this all about?"

I wasn't sure whether I should leave and let the three straighten things out, but I decided to stay put and try to make myself invisible.  The three of them argued back and forth.  George was passionate and I could tell he was frustrated with John.  He kept telling John to stop acting like a rebellious fool.  Paul, on the other hand, was a bit more political- trying to get John to open up about why he had made the decision to not show up at the meeting.  I watched and cringed every time Paul or George made a reference to something that I knew John didn't remember.   As the minutes progressed, the anger, in both George and Paul now, escalated.  The look on John's face was enough to tell me he was getting overwhelmed. I bit my lip...I bit my tongue...I knew  I shouldn't interfere...but seeing George and Paul falsely accuse John of having selfish and arrogant motives was too much.  

"Just tell them John!" I finally yelled.  

All three of them stopped at once.  

"Tell us what?" Paul asked. 

"Mirel!" John said firmly. 

"I'm sorry, John...but they need to know." 

"What do we need to know?"  George asked. 

"Nothing.  You don't need to know anything!" John's voice boomed. 

I looked at John.  He looked at me intensely.  I knew he would be mad at me for doing it...but I knew that hiding the truth from the boys was wrong.  The dissolution of The Beatles had to happen with all members being on the same page- all four of them knowing the truth and only then could a decision be made.  

"John has amnesia.  He doesn't remember anything past 1967." I finally said. 

John sighed in frustration before sitting down in the desk chair.  

"I'm sorry John...but they need to know.  That accident he had..." I said looking at Paul and George. "...it caused John to lose his memory.  He woke up thinking he was still married to Cynthia, that Brian was still alive...that he was still a Beatle..."

George and Paul looked at each other.  

"He doesn't remember anything past 1967...he doesn't remember marrying Yoko...or all the fights you guys had...he doesn't remember any of it." 

"That's enough, Mirel.  They get the bloody point." John muttered.