I stood in the row to get my medication dose, being one of the last people to get it. It was the end of the workday for nurses, so this was their last thing to do before going home. I stared at the big blue clock on the wall and turned around to notice few people standing before Taehyung. I looked to my right observing Minjee who was sitting on the chair, talking with her mother. She noticed me and smiled brightly. I smiled to her and waved. Her mother's eyes found me as she sent a smile my way too. I flinched my head back once Sana called my name out. She was preparing my medication. I walked closer to the pult and she observed me with a warm expression on her face. "You feeling okay?" She questioned. I nodded and eagerly waited for my medication. "You haven't been chatty last few days, and you always have something to say." Sana commented, to which I shrugged. "I feel like I've been talking too much, actually." I forced a smile as she slid both a plastic cup of water and a paper cup with few pills. I grabbed it and downed both the water and pills down my throat. "Just take care, okay? If you feel one of your episodes snapping through, come get me, don't think about it." She reassured me, I nodded and tried my hardest to smile back in reassurance. "See you tomorrow, Sana." I gently waved and made my way back. I stared at Taehyung as I walked down the hallway, catching him looking at me the entire time. I walked back to our room and quickly closed the door. I lifted up the mattress and found my wooden box where I kept my pill stack. There were many things Taehyung still didn't know about me. For example, why I had that box. But that secret was two sided. One side of it was using those pills when I absolutely felt myself hit bottom and needed more. The other side was just hiding them away, not wanting to do anything with drugging my mind. Both those reasons influenced my life. I just had to remember to not go overboard with both those sides.

I searched for my necklace under my shirt. I finally pulled it out so it was visible and grabbed a key that was attached to it. I unlocked the box and let it rest on my bed as I waited for Mouse. I nervously tapped my foot until I heard a few knocks on the door. I opened the door quickly, only to find Taehyung knocking with his sleeves over his knuckles. He smiled and went inside. "Did you get it ready?" He questioned, sitting on my bed as he stared at the box. We both sat on my bed, opposite each other. I started sorting some antidepressants from anxiety relief pills. "All of these were in your mouth before you spat them out, right?" Taehyung questioned, slight disgust on his face. I scoffed in playful disbelief. "If you can coat your mouth with my saliva then you can also swallow pills that once had my spit on them, Taehyung." I shook my head, making him giggle. "I didn't complain!" He defended himself, his boxy smile appearing wide. I gave him a judging look. "I saw the disgusted look on your face!" I chuckled out loud. I tried to tease him more but he interrupted me by sloppily kissing me. By now it was obvious our usual dosage started working, but that wasn't enough. We felt like we were in a slight blur of the moment, feeling quite numb and immune to frustration. I tried to shook away from the feeling, needing to be the one responsible for how much medication we should take, to not go overboard. Taehyung kept kissing me, but I had to stop him. "Mouse, wait." I spoke and focused on the pills in front of me. I parted out a few more pills for the both of us. I took a half of another dosage and gave Taehyung double dosage than the usual. Taehyung had a bit more, mainly because he was the one who needed this desperately. "I think this would be enough." I said and let Taehyung pick up the pills from his side. I took the water bottle from my nightstand and downed the pills with a few gulps of water. Taehyung did the same, taking my water bottle to drink. His adam's apple jumped up and down as he gulped. "Now we wait." I said and looked around the room. Taehyung nodded and kept staring at me. Waiting 10 minutes for the pills to start working was the longest anticipation of both our lives, mainly because we both wanted this so bad.

Taehyung was the first one to fall. "Mouse?" I observed at him looking numb, slightly swinging left to right. "Yeah?" He spoke, his mouth gasping as he observed the ceiling above us. "Are you okay?" I questioned, barely handling his calmness. "Mhmmm." He said with closed eyes, humming in a deep tone. I stood mentally strong, or at least that's how it looked compared to Taehyung's swinging, not knowing who or where he is. Each second managed to relax me, yet made me not want to look at Taehyung who was that powerless. "Taehyung. Can I hold your hand?" I fearfully spoke. He offered me his hand and comfortably smiled. I treated his hand like he would treat his daisies. To me, his hands were softer than any of his daisies, regardless of what he would say. I let a breath out in relief once Taehyung didn't let out any winces or groans of pain and discomfort.

Taehyung tried to fasten the progression of a touch. "Touch me." He softly whispered, sneaking his hand around my waist. "Let's use this the-the much we can and could." He spoke slight nonsense, somehow still making sense to me. Seeing him that hungry, made a fire pit in my stomach. I immediately pulled him onto me, making him hover over me. He barely opened his eyes, gigling me. His kisses began being sloppy and not coordinated at all. Taehyung's hand inexperiencedly grabbed my breast, squeezing it with his big hand. I gasped out a silent moan and started attacking his neck with eager kisses. "Ahhh-" Taehyung moaned, making me scoot back. "Are you okay? Am I hurting you?" I softly questioned. "Ahh, no you're not. Keep doing that, that feel-feels amazing." He smirked, leaning his neck to my lips. I pressed open mouth kisses, letting my tongue lick the soft flesh too. Taehyung gently grabbed me by my hips and rubbed me against him. I felt his hardened member poke my clit every time he would grind himself onto me. I softly moaned, trying to keep quiet as much as I could. He pulled the straps from my shirt down, sliding it down so it was under my bra. He started kissing my collarbones and neck hungrily. His hands wandered because he seemed like he wasn't sure what to do, trying to desperately remember what to do with this kind of a contact. "Taehyung." I breathed out, moving his head away. "Have you ever-?" I asked, which he dumbly left a confused giggle. I rubbed against his crotch twice. "You know...had sex?" I shyly asked. He chuckled with his eyes closed, barely functioning. "not yet." He couldn't stop giggling. I giggled too, seeing him like that and continued pulling him closer. I tried to force myself to think that this was a good idea. Maybe it wasn't. Taehyung looks so out of it. But before I could finish all my thoughts I was suddenly interrupted by Taehyung, skipping a few levels, our passion turning into a fire.

He hungrily kissed me and sneaked his hand down between my legs. He pulled my leggings off as he focused back on my clothed heat. He pinched my clit over my panties and pressed a finger harshly onto it, sliding up and down my clothed folds. My core was dripping wet, desperate for some contact. He cupped my heat, making me rub against his big hand. I softly moaned and in an instant grabbed his erect member that was almost poking out of his boxers and pajama bottoms. He moaned loudly at sudden contact, but collected himself, not opening his eyes at all. He was gasping the whole time, because of the arousal, but also because of his drugged out mind. I tugged at his pajama bottoms slightly. "Can I?" I moaned a question out. "Please." He spoke in a serious tone this time, slightly grinding against my hand to get some relief for himself. I sneaked my hand down his boxers, putting my fingers around his bare length. He shut his eyes and let out a deep groan, kissing my lips. He started to move his fingers around my clit, pinching it being every third of his ever movement. His erect member sprung free, slightly pulsating. I started to stroke his shaft as he was already leaking precum. "Mhhhhm, dah..." He moaned, digging his head into the crook of my neck. "Dahyun?" He called out my name, raising the tone of his voice into a question. "Are you scared of me?" He asked, whispering into my ear. Taehyung's hand awkwardly stroked my hip as his breath hitched. "I'm not scared of you. Are you scared of me?" I softly asked, making him look at me. "Terrified." Taehyung whispered, leaning his forehead against mine.