🌼🌼- Dahyun's POV🌼🌼

I heard a quickened steps as I turned my head to Taehyung. His friend got up and left, his eyes full of tears. Taehyung still sat on his chair, the expression on his face completely cold. After half a minute, he stood up and picked up a spray can and a polaroid picture his friend left, leaving me confused. He hurried down the hallway as I jumped up from the couch to follow him. He went to our opened room, kicking it with his leg to close it once he was inside. I timidly walked there, swallowing a hard lump in my throat. Collecting the courage before knocking, I breathed in and out. I softly knocked on the door. "Taehyung?" I spoke, slowly opening the door. I went inside and closed the door behind me, making the room escape the noise from the hallway. Taehyung held the spray can in his hand, and the polaroid picture in the other. "I don't think those are sanitized, Taehyung." I spoke, trying to break off the mere silence that was followed by my timid posture and his rapid breaths. "It's no point. I can't escape from it. From them. I can't. Why am I trying so hard?" He questioned himself, shutting his eyes over the loudness of his mind.

It made me think that Taehyung enjoyed misery because the feeling of guilt he felt. "Rat, please. Calm down." I softly spoke, walking over to him. I kneeled down and felt powerless because a touch wasn't comforting for him. And all I wanted to do was to hold him and stoke his hair.

"It's okay." I softly spoke, feeling my voice break and my tears water. Taehyung felt pain in his chest as he shut his eyes. He was going through one of his traumatic episodes again. I widened my eyes in shock. "I'll go get the nurses." I spoke in panic. I stood up but Taehyung stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Don't." He said as I gasped at sudden contact. He shut his eyes in a tight line and pulled me onto him, making me straddle his lap. He immediately attacked my lips, pressing soft kisses. I knew exactly right what he was doing in that moment. Kissing me and touching me was a punishment he wanted to put himself through. I immediately picked upon the feeling of guilt he felt and his groans of pain.

Taehyung's hands started stroking my thighs as he deepened the kiss. He started kneading the soft flesh hungrily, enjoying his pain and misery. I quickly moved away from him, standing up. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Don't hurt yourself like this, please Rat." I said, feeling my voice break again. He leaned his head against my stomach as I stood up. His arms were around my hips, not wanting let go of the misery. I felt myself completely breaking, so I moved away. "Stop hurting yourself!" I raised my voice and walked a few steps back.

Taehyung wiped his cheeks that were wet from his tears. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve y-you. I should have been tak-taken away." He stuttered, trying to breathe. "Taken away? Taehyung, what are you talking about? Who was the guy that visited you?" I kneeled down again, trying to look into his eyes.

"A friend of mine. A liar. He didn't do it. He didn't pick up the phone. He let them take me." Taehyung whispered to himself, panically holding his hands over his ears. "Who is them? Who took you?" I softly questioned. "The police." He breathed out. "He didn't-didn't pick up the phone." He repeated in panic. "Taehyung. Why were you arrested? It happened multiple times didn't it?" I questioned, trying to figure it all out. My hand instinctively wanted to cup his cheek but I stopped myself, fighting that caring and affectionate urge. Taehyung spoke, nervously switching the topic after he saw my hand flinch back. "Why do you want to comfort me? How can you touch me? Can't you see how gross I am?!" He breathed out and in a flash got up and started walking around the room, trying to collect his breathing, unsuccessfully.

"Taehyung, tell me what you did. Please. What have you done so bad that ended up being this trauma? Why do you think you're gross?" I softly questioned walking behind his every nervous step. Taehyung kept shutting his eyes as I noticed his hands were shaking. "You're going to run away from me. You will leave me too." Taehyung was now crying, not wanting to tell me. "I'm not going to leave you. Just fucking tell me already, I can't handle this!" I screamed out, feeling miserable. He shook his head, avoiding eye contact. I got so much closer to him and grabbed him by his neck. He quickly moved my hand away as I spoke. "Fucking tell me-!" I raised my voice again, but quietly stood once Taehyung's raspy scream interrupted me.

"I KILLED MY FATHER!" He screamed out, inches away from my face. Then it was silence. In that deafening silence, an interesting thought made its way to my brain. A thought of everyday version of Taehyung, a clean, pure boy that dressed in white and took care of daisies as if he was one of their kind. He did have a tragic backstory and sad days when even his precious daisies gave him no meaning to this life we live in. That's Kim Taehyung. How could you ever imagine that exactly that boy, that lovable boy with perky ears, committed such a crime? Could you have guessed? No one could. That boy murdered another man. Now that boy, who committed such a sin, feels unbearable guilt. That angry boy who killed his father probably didn't think that his once fragile touch would cause so much pain. That was his touch that carried a curse. A curse and a misery no one would be able to understand.

"What-?" I asked, my facial expression stiffening. "I-I killed him. I stabbed him with the glass bottle." He said and continued with an unbelievably pained expression on his face. Tears streamed down his face, saying all this out loud to me. "I don't deserve any of this. They dragged me out of the water, you know?" He was whispering, trying to explain. "I didn't mean to do it. He abused me and my sister for years, how could I have not snapped when I saw him?!" Taehyung's voice broke as he raised his tone. "Calm down, Rat. It's okay-" I tried to comfort him because I didn't know what to say from all the shock. "It's not fucking okay. I'm a monster.″ He flinched and covered his eyes with his hands. Taehyung stared at his hands and rubbed them against his white clothes. He had a sudden thought and headed for the door. "Taehyung, where are you going? Please calm down, please don't go." I pleaded for him, trying to make him stay. "I don't deserve the comfort y-you want to offer me. I'm a monster. I don't want to hurt you. Stay away from me, pl-please." Taehyung spoke, suddenly changing his fear of losing me to a fear of hurting me. He walked through the door, opening the doorknob with his bare hands. Even in those smallest actions and details, I hated seeing him hurt himself like that.

He stormed down the hallway as I tried following him. People walked right past me, so I completely lost track of him. I started crying, some people noticing me. I walked to the art room, bumping into worried Sana. "Dah, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" She quickly asked, stroking my shoulders. "I need to find him. I don't know where he is. Tae-Taehyung." I explained. "What do you mean you don't know where he is?" She asked. "He ran-ran out of our room, he told me about his dad. He-he said it to me." I barely explained, words caught in between my tongue and teeth. Sana widened her eyes but tried to stay calm, just so she can calm me down. "Okay, he must be here somewhere, Dah. Don't panic." She softly spoke and walked with me. Some nurses were confused, so she explained to them why I was crying. Whilst she was talking with them, my brain functioned quickly. The washroom. He probably went there. To "clear off" the blood, like the last time.

I started running towards the washroom, my mind blocking any sounds from the hallway noise or Sana calling out my name. I went inside and saw Taehyung's figure. My brain was right, the sight of Taehyung's scratched out red skin made my heart cave in inside of my chest. He stood under the running shower, shirtless, only in his pajama bottoms that he didn't seem to mind. Scratching his skin with the rough sponge, his back was turned towards me. "Taehyung." I spoke, my voice breaking. "Leave me alone! I need to clear off the blood. I need to!" He screamed. Not wanting him to irritate his skin till it bleeds, I ran over to him. "Taehyung, stop. It's okay-" I tried to speak. "Don't say that!" He shouted, making my knees buckle. He turned towards me, hyperventilating, mainly because he realized no water from this world could wash out the blood he saw. Without a thought, I went under the shower with him, trying to stop his hand that was holding the sponge, but he slapped my hand away. He shut his eyes in a tight line from the sudden contact. He kept on rubbing his skin. Desperate to keep him safe, I distracted him with a kiss. I kissed his lips, to which he stiffened. He pulled away, trying to move back. I held onto his neck and he clenched his fists, hating the contact, but easing to it to feel his beloved misery.

"Shhh, It's okay." I said, leaning my forehead against his. He slid down to the wet floor, crying his eyes out. I turned off the water, my other hand around his shoulder. He wanted to break free but I held him tightly, his head pressing to my chest. He tried to push me away but he couldn't, so he just cried onto me. Sana and the other nurses worriedly came inside and gasped when they saw us. Taehyung began holding onto me, letting me comfort him. "You're not a monster, Taehyung." I softly spoke, stroking his wet hair. "I'm not going to leave." I said and kept on talking as he softly breathed. "Don't rub your skin like that. Don't hurt yourself, okay?" I whispered, softening my grip but as he calmed down, he still held onto me tightly. Taehyung nodded and didn't let go of me. Sana stared at us with pain plastered onto her face. I looked at her and looked down, not being able to explain anything. "Taehyung, sweety? Let's go take care of you." She softly spoke as the other nurses walked closer. Sana stared at me as I nodded and tried to move away, but Taehyung was holding onto me, tightly. "Taehyung-ie, let me go." I softly spoke as he rested for a second before pulling away, his arms stiffening. I got up with him and the two short nurses guided him to the medical office. I looked over Sana's shoulder, catching eye contact with him before he went out of my sight. His eyes were bloodshot red and his cheeks wet. His hair was wet too, making his perky ears poke out more through his hair. He stared through me before completely getting me out of his sight. "Dahyun." she spoke to me, making me snap back my attention to her. "How is he able to touch you?" She asked, her face full of confusion. "If you're thinking it's enjoyable to him, it's not." I answered, my eyes burning from crying. "I'll explain everything." I spoke up. "When he explains it to me too." I said and looked down to the wet floor.

⚠Hello readers i apologize with the confusion of the names i dont know what happened but my phone autocorrected dahyun's name to jia (my sister's name) i will unpublished it and publish it again.