The fire is still in Kathryn's bones. She can't shrug it out. Not when she revealed this monster inside herself. She has to keep everyone away, she has to. Leaving with John B is the only option if she wants the Pogues to stay happy, and away from her and the blaze that reduces everything she loves to ash.

She doesn't get out of the car, not technically speaking. The door is open and her legs are dangling outside, but she only pivoted on her seat. She doesn't move much either, just observing her bloody hands on her lap, the cracked skin like something in her broke itself to let it happen.

This wasn't her, she decides. This was not her, just like the person who left to kill her mother wasn't her, they were only ghosts of herself, pieces she let have too much power on her.

Her hands turn into fists. They deserved it. To an extent, they deserved it and more. But the others don't deserve to have a psycho killer as a friend. Hence why leaving the Outer Banks doesn't feel like as bad an idea as it did before.

"Hey."

She doesn't need to raise her head to see that JJ is walking towards her. He has a wet towel in his hand. Leaning against the car next to her, he tries to take her hands to scrub them and make the blood disappear.

She yanks her hand away, and takes the towel to do it herself. She doesn't want him to do this, she doesn't want him anywhere even near her. She's a ticking bomb, they've just proven that. She has literal blood on her hands.

"Are you okay?" he asks, frowning.

As if she could be okay. She sighs through her nose, looking everywhere but him. Like the clock, which indicates past three. "You hear from John B?"

"Are you okay?"

Kathryn looks at him, unimpressed, raising an eyebrow. "Did you hear from John B?"

He frowns, it's almost a scowl. He's getting irritated. That works for her; it'll be easier to let her go.

That is, if he could just back down, for once. "Why are you pushing me away?"

She scoffs, standing up. "We really don't have time to talk about this."

"Yeah right, just leave the conversation every time it gets hard."

She whirls around, staring straight at him. He can see the pain in her eyes, he always had. But there's anger there too.

"What do you want me to tell you?" she asks.

"If you're okay," he repeats.

She scoffs. "I'm fine, JJ."

"No you're not."

"Well I would be if you would stop asking stupid questions," she fires back.

The words are slipping out quicker than she can think them. She doesn't want to even say them. But she has to keep him away, after what happened. He would forgive her, and she can't.

"Is that what we're doing?" JJ asks, huffing. "'Cause if it is, I'm gonna go."

She walks away with a sickeningly sweet smile. "You stay. I'll go."

She goes to stand beside Pope and Kie, who send her cautious looks.

"That was uncalled for," Pope tells her.

She scoffs. "I'm not letting any of you pity the almost murderer."

"Key word being 'almost'," Kie tells her.

"I had my hands wrapped around his neck and the intent to kill, that's enough for me."

"Kat..."

"Don't try to make me feel better!" she cries out. "I don't care that he had it coming. That you don't feel remorse for what I did. What about my guilt? I let him and my mom win. I will become just like them."

They want to tell her that she won't, because they know this is just a side of her, this isn't her. This has never been her, but Kathryn would never let them. She would never let it get to her head long enough for her to understand.

And in any case, a siren starts wailing. For a second, as the police car stops in front of them, Kathryn thinks Rafe called the cops. She thinks they're here to take her away, and she'll let them.

"Guys," Kie lets out as the car stops in front of them.

"Kat, get to the boat," JJ cries out. "Untie it."

"Shit."

Kathryn runs for the boat as the door opens and closes. She turns around.

Her eyes fall on John B. "Wha–excuse me, what?"

"No way," JJ lets out.

"No fucking way," Pope adds.

"I'm sorry?" Kie says.

For a few seconds, Kathryn lets the anger subsides as she walks to John B. A smile even splits her face. "Evening officer."

John B grins back at her. "Shoupe let me take it for a spin," he jokes, adjusting the straps on his backpack.

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say."

He's surprised when she hugs him, but he lets her, wrapping his arms around her and hugging back. The others stare, looking at each other. A part of JJ can't help but feel jealous. Why can he get through to her when he can't? What makes him so special?

He clears his throat when they part. "It wasn't easy bro," he tells him. "But I got the Phantom for you. And she runs like she was made yesterday."

He throws the keys to Kathryn, giving her a pointed look. She closes her eyes. "And I'm going with you."

John B loses the colour in his face. "You're what?"

"I'm coming with you," she repeats. "You need someone to keep you out of trouble, and if you go out there and I don't know where you are, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to breathe."

He stares at her, and for a second she thinks he's just going to go along with it, but he shakes his head. "No. No, you're not leaving this place again."

It irritates her, and the fire takes back its place as if it got home. "Yes, I am," she maintains.

Knowing that there is no debate to have with Kathryn when she gets like this, he looks up at the others. "We're just going to take a minute, okay?"

"John B, there's no time–"

"Yeah, go ahead," JJ says at the same time.

Kathryn sends him a murderous glance, but he doesn't back down. He knows that if anyone can change her mind, it's John B.

John B takes her arm and guides her behind the Phantom. The second he lets her go, she turns to him. "There's no negotiating here, John B."

"What happened?" he asks.

She gulps, taken aback as cold ices her veins. "What do you mean?"

"I know you. I know you don't like me saying it, but you care too much to distract yourself–" She glares at him. "Anyway, this is overdoing it. You're troubleshooting, what happened?"

Kathryn crosses her arms on her chest. Did he have to be so freaking good at knowing what's wrong with her? "Nothing, JB."

"Okay, when did you start talking about leaving again?"

She looks at her hands, at the cracks on her knuckles. There are the ones from Rafe, but underneath, there's the one she got for her mother. "My mum killed my dad. It was never Ward."

John B stares at her, mouth falling open. "Are you serious?"

"Would I joke about something like that?" she cries out. She takes a deep breath, a lump settling at the back of her throat. "I went there. I went there, and I wanted her dead."

The shocked look on his face subsides for a compassion she doesn't deserve. "Bug..."

"No, shut up. I don't want to hear it, because... Because Rafe showed up, and I beat him up. I strangled him, and I was going to..." She doesn't finish her sentence, gulping. "I have to leave this island."

John B goes through the five phases of grief as she speaks, trying to grasp the depth of the feelings she keeps trying to hide. He wants to tell her that they deserved it, but it's only because they're still alive now. If she'd killed someone, it wouldn't be the same. Of course, it's not like he wouldn't have helped her bury the body, but no matter how much they're young teens loudly claiming that they'd kill someone, it would have made a difference.

Luckily for Kathry, everyone else seems to be aware that she would never have killed Rafe. She had the cards in her hands – she let JJ carry her out, she let him ground her and regain control. The anger is hard to managed, fucking terrifying at any turn, but she doesn't have to be the only one to burn.

And that's exactly what she's doing, by leaving. She wants to be the only one to suffer. But John B has always been his sister's keeper. He wouldn't let that happen.

"Kat, you're not coming with me."

She stares up at him, annoyed. "It's not like you're going to decide for me."

"It is, actually." He puts his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "I'm not letting you do that, got it?"

Irritation gets to her head. She grits her teeth. "Why not? It's stupid on your part, John B. I could help you."

"Yeah, see? You can talk shit to me, I don't care. I know you, whether you like it or not. I know you're doing this to punish yourself," he tells her.

Her stomach sinks. "I'm not."

"Because you're scared that something good might happen, and that you'll ruin that too, so might as well ruin it from the get go, right?" He shakes his head. "I'm not letting that happen."

His name is never spoken, but they both know who this is about. Kathryn closes her eyes. "It's not about him."

"Bug, it's always about him."

How could it not be? Maybe it's part of the problem, maybe it's part of the solution, but all she knows is that somehow, John B is right again. He controls her every move, every reaction. She knows that if she lets herself be happy, it'd be with him.

But she doesn't deserve it. Not after what happened.

"Hey," John B says, squeezing her shoulders. "It's okay. You're going to be okay."

"Thanks to you?" She sighs, resigned. He made the decision for her, and she doesn't feel like fighting. "What, did God show up to ask where I was? Did you ask him if you were your sister's keeper?"

He stares at her. "Did you just quote the bible?"

"Max likes this quote– you know what, I don't need to explain myself."

"You don't. Besides, I always knew I was my sister's keeper."

Ever since that afternoon in the fourth grade when this random girl walked up to him and stuck a bee in his face. He took her with him and she never left his side. She made him pancakes, and he listened when she went on and on about bugs. He knew he'd always protect her.

And now they're older. Yet nothing changed. John B would always be his sister's keeper.

Even if it meant leaving her behind.

"So," she says, before licking her lips. "This is goodbye?"

He looks down, dropping his hands. "For a little while."

She pinches her lips to stop them from wobbling. "You better come back. I plan on making pancakes."

"I mean, as soon as you clear my name..."

She snorts. "God, the situation really got away from us, didn't it?"

He wants to apologise for it. He wants to apologise a million times, but the words are stuck in his throat.

"Yo, hey, you really have to go now," JJ calls from the other side of the boat.

Reluctantly, they make their way back to the others. Kathryn offers them a contrite smile.

"I'm... sorry, about everything," she says softly.

Pope and Kie nods. They're used to it by now. JJ, though, hangs back, jaw clenched. John B nudges her.

"And I'm staying," she adds.

He abruptly turns to her. She thinks his neck cracked. "You're what?"

Kathryn clears her throat. "Yeah, uh, John B doesn't need me, so."

"Seriously?" She can see a smile fighting its way on his face.

Somehow, a smile starts to stretch her lips too. "Yeah."

Something swells in him, and it's enough for him to march to her and lift her from the ground, making her spin.

He sets her down, and she can't help but snort. "I did not expect it to make you this happy."

"Are you kidding me? Of course it does!"

She takes it she's forgiven, then. She doesn't feel like she deserves it, but JJ was always one to forgive her no matter what. They all always have.

"Guys, it's very cute, but John B has to go now."

John B perks up at that, while his best friend realises exactly what it meant that she was staying. She had to say goodbye to him. She doesn't feel like she can.

"Wait," he lets out. "Where's Sarah?"

Kathryn frowns. "Well, no. Was she supposed to be with you?"

"No, we got separated in the swamp," he explains. "She said she was gonna meet me here."

"No, we haven't seen her man," Pope says.

John B shrugs. "Okay, well, I'm not leaving without her."

"So now you don't want to leave without someone, uh?" He stares at Kathryn. She rolls her eyes. "Look, bee, there's just no time. You have to hurry– I know you feel bad, but we already took too much time."

"You've got plenty of gas, plenty of food," JJ adds. "Once you get around that point, it's a straight shot across the sound to Dismal Swamp, okay? Once you get there, lay low, alright? Hang out for a couple of weeks, and then go overland, cross the border at Brownsville, you got that? Brownsville."

But John B is starting to catch up on what's going on too. He thought he had time until Sarah showed up, but they're right, they don't. They don't have time, and he's leaving, and they're not coming with him.

"Hey," Kathryn says softly when his eyes become distant. "You got that?"

"Yeah, yeah," he says, voice heavy. "Brownsville."

John B gets on the Phantom. His legs wobble a little. He never thought that he'd leave his friends. Never in a million years. They've been together for years, longer than a decade, for some.

"All right," JJ says, softly, because he doesn't want to. "Saddle her up, saltwater cowboy. Let's do this." His eyes settle on his best friend, and he bites down his tongue. "Yeah."

It's now, they have to do this right now. They start to push the boat out into the water, and Kathryn only realises that she let herself cry.

"Wait wait wait!"

They stop, looking at John B. His eyes are watering by the minute. "I'm... I'm sorry for basically... throwing us off a cliff with this whole treasure hunt thing."

If he hadn't started looking for the compass in the first place, if he hadn't dragged them to explore the marsh after hurricane Agatha, nothing would have happened.

But then Kathryn smiles. "Hey, bee... If you hadn't, I don't think I'd be here anymore. So, thank you."

She wipes her tears discreetly. She means what she said. If they hadn't been there, god knows what would have happened when her mom had come back. If she had stayed in her room for the whole month. She's not sure she'd be here to tell the tale.

"We were bound to run off a cliff at some point, right?" JJ adds.

John B chuckles wryly, crying softly. "Yeah."

"At least we did it together though." JJ puts his arms around Kat, and she puts an arm around Kie, who does the same for Pope. "Pogue style."

He's right. That's what matters. "Pogue style," John B nods, sniffling.

Kathryn feels something heavy sit on her chest. It feels a lot like grief. A lot like pain, sadness. A lot like saying goodbye when you don't want to. She just got John B back, and now she has to say goodbye again.

"Get out of here," Kie says. "Please."

He nods, going inside the boat to take it out of the marsh.

"Now," adds Pope. "We'll see you two in two months, down in Mexico."

"And I'll bring pancakes, so you better be there," Kathryn calls out after him.

He pokes his head out, a smile on his crying face. "I promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

John B starts the boat, the sound of the motor swallowing her sobs. JJ hugs her against him, soaking up her warmth, trying to bring himself as much comfort as she brings him. Nothing does it. Not even the ghost of the hope that they'll see him again in a few weeks. Still, they cling to it. They cling to each other.

There's something that feels fundamentally wrong about saying goodbye to someone you can't leave.

However, they don't have time to dwell on their feelings for too long. Why would they? They've been in a rush for the last few days.

But in their case, hearing police sirens just after they saw their felon best friends off, is potentially cataclysmic.

A dozen cops swarm the place, yelling at them to put their hands up. JJ tugs Kathryn's up, but Pope is too in shock to move. Even when they start pointing their guns at them.

"Pope," Kathryn mutters to him. "Your hands."

He slowly puts them up.

They watch as a SBI agent walks past them, going to the docks to try and see the Phantom but JJ was right – it's long gone. As is John B.

"Move. Hands up! Hands up!

"We're too late," Shoupe groans. "He's gone. God damn it! Bratcher, have your guys stand down. Let me talk to these kids."

Slowly, the agents stop holding them at gunpoint.

He walks up to the Pogues. They don't budge. "All right, where the hell is he?" he cries out. "Where the hell is he?" He looks at JJ. "JJ? I see you're livin' up to your name."

Kathryn bolts forward, and JJ has to hold her back, his fingers gripping her belt loop.

"Kathryn," Shoupe sighs. "I'm sorry about what happened to Max, and your mom. I really am. Why would you even help the kid who shot him?"

Her nostrils flare. "Take a wild fucking guess, Shoupe." JJ has to hold back a laugh.

Shoupe ignores her, looking at Pope. "Pope, how about you? This isn't a fucking game! You can do the right thing right now! Where'd he go?"

Kathryn has to bite back her snarky comment. She would've most likely got handcuffed. And sent to jail. It was pretty colourful.

"Suspect has just left Station sixteen in a small boat," the SBI man says into his radio. "Need marine patrol to respond."

She smiles at the officers. John B is not the only one that has a role to play. That has been playing it since he got stung by her bee, since she made him pancakes, since she shared everything with him.

"You'll never find him."

Kathryn is her brother's keeper, and she smiles. No one could get to him now. At least she thought so.

But someone wrote this part before, and it didn't end well.

Author's Note: I simultaneously hate and love this chapter and I seriously cried so much over FREAKING PANCAKES

Editor's Note: Babe. Babes it's gonna get so much worse!!!!!!!!!!!!