Kathryn wakes up in the Twinkie. She has a headache – her heart is hammering in her head – and, for a second, she doesn't remember what happened. She's just hanging out with her friends, head lying on Kie's lap and her legs on Pope's. She wants to stay like this, at least until the pain subsides.

But no, she remembers that they just narrowly escaped death, and that the reason she has a headache is because she literally passed out. She groans as she stands up, Kie helping her sitting straight.

"Well, that's embarrassing."

Kie rubs her back, but Kathryn shifts away. "Not at all, it's okay."

"We're taking you home," says John B from the driver seat, sending her a worried glance. "How are you feeling?"

She sighs and rubs her face. Her stomach twists into a knot. She hasn't been home in what, two days? Yeah, she's fucked. "I feel like Henry's gonna kill me."

"Not if I kill you first," JJ says, turning in the passenger's seat to look at her. There's concern, somewhere, and she doesn't know what to do with that. "You scared us, passing out like that."

Goosebumps cover her arms and she feels her cheeks heat up when she remembers what happened in the office. Now that's embarrassing. She didn't even have the time to get angry and distract him. Today just overall sucks.

"How is killing me stopping me from passing out?"

"If you're dead you can't pass out."

"That's some foolproof logic, I'm in."

The look he gives her tells her that he doesn't find it funny. Ah, well. "John B told us you were frozen back there," Pope tells her. "Does this happen often?"

Kathryn frowns and sits up straight. See? That's exactly what she wanted to avoid. This precise conversation – she doesn't like it. Talking about her problems. How fucked up she is. It's not usually anyone's favourite conversation, but in her case, it's life or death.

Open up too much, and the Pogues go back to hating her and being disgusted by her. It's easier to shut them off, like she's doing now, with her neutral face as if nothing happened.

She shrugs. "It's just panic attacks. Who cares?"

She can see everyone looking away and dropping the subject. Good.

Somehow, Pope didn't catch her cold tone. "Well, we care. I mean, you were – you're our friend. And, you know, you can die of a panic attack."

Kathryn stares him down until he looks away, and then she looks out the window at an invisible camera. "I didn't know that. That's just neat."

Kie and JJ look at Pope with a 'Are you serious?' look in their eyes. But, at least, Pope had the balls to ask her something and tell her that people cared. She didn't want him to, yes. But she'd be lying if she said it didn't feel nice.

JJ looks at Kathryn in the rear view mirror. She holds his gaze, and he's the one who turns away. She won't let people in. Not if it means she goes up in flames. Not if it means they burn with her.

By the time they arrive at the Palace, it's dark outside. Henry and Max are waiting on the porch. Henry's arms are crossed, and he's frowning. Right now, there is no denying him and Kathryn are family.

Well. It's not or never. She takes a deep breath. "If I die, buy me a pretty headstone."

"C'mon you're not gonna die. You got this KD!"

She sends him a dubious look, and she gets out of the van, slowly walking towards her uncle. JJ turns towards the other Pogues.

"She definitely don't got this. We have to get out of here."

John B goes to start the car, when Henry points at them. "Hey!" Henry calls out to the Twinkie. "Don't move, I'll take care of you later."

The Pogues look at each other, fear in their eyes. Well, fuck.

Kathryn has the same kind of apprehension coursing through her veins. She really doesn't want to do this. She's escaped the Pogues' questions only for Max and Henry to ask the same ones, if not more.

On top of that, she's tired of today. They barely escaped death, she had one of the biggest panic attacks for the past month, and now her uncle was going to yell at her? Just give her a break.

After all, that's why she was sent here, right? To take a break. What the hell happened to that plan anyway?

She carefully climbs up the few stairs leading to their porch, dread filling her stomach. She's feeling pretty nauseous right now. She wonders if puking on his shoes would help. Henry makes a face, and Kathryn grimaces.

There's dimples on either side of his mouth. Kathryn calls them the dimples of discontent. They are extremely prominent right now. She's in for a treat, and so are the Pogues in a bit.

And then, he tugs her close to him. Almost stifles her, really, as he holds her. He's shaking. She wonders if he cried, and guilt wrecks her. But he just... he just needs a minute to hold his kid. She's fine. She's alive.

He lets go of her. "I've been searching for you all day!" Henry screams out in anger. "You don't warn me, or Max, you disappear and you don't answer your phone–"

"The signal isn't working on the cut."

"Then you write us a note! Anything! Tell us where you are. I was worried sick, you have no idea. Max was out all day looking for you." Kathryn closes her eyes. She never wanted this. "And for what? To find out that you were in the marsh, even though they were closed because of a police investigation? He told you not to go! Do you understand how reckless you were?"

If only he knew. He'd probably blow up. For a second, she hesitates, half wanting to answer: 'hey well, guess what, I also escaped death three times in two days! I'm pretty sure I broke a record.'

She doesn't say that, though. Somewhere deep inside, she has the will to live.

Kathryn takes a deep breath, swallowing her pride, and dropping her head. "Sorry," she mumbles under her breath.

"Sorry doesn't cut it!"

She shuts her mouth, clenching her teeth. Okay, she gets the picture. Worry equals anger. That's how Darcys roll. No need to be such an arsehole about it.

"Henry," warns Max. "Please, go easy on her."

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you her uncle?"

They also tend to fuck every single relationship they have when they're angry. Truly, Kathryn feels like she's looking at a distorted mirror of herself. Max stares his boyfriend down until he looks away. "We'll talk about that later."

He walks over to Kathryn, who hasn't looked up, and puts his hand on her shoulder. She looks back at him, his blue eyes softening her a bit. He always had this effect on her and Henry. It's not fair.

"What Henry is trying to say while being a complete idiot," he says, and Henry huffs. "It's that we were worried about you. We're glad you're okay."

Except Kathryn is pissed now. She never gets a hall pass when she's angry, why should Henry? Because she was out for two days? It's not like he's her dad.

She scoffs. "Yeah, I think Henry knows exactly what he wants to say." She didn't really want to say that. She knows it's only going to make everything worse.

She can see Henry becoming more and more red as hot, white, hot anger washes over him. She almost regrets it, considering she's about to get killed.

Henry's response forms on his lips, but his eyes flick to Kathryn's wrist, and his blood runs cold in his veins. It calms the anger, it calms everything, and suddenly it feels like he's stuck in jelly and time moves slowly. His heart is in his throat as he thinks the worst.

"Kathryn what's that?"

She looks at her wrist, the dry blood on it, and back at her uncle's face. Max noticed it too, and he's turning white. Henry's mouth is dry. This is his fault. He told Edward that he'd take care of her, and now... It's all his fault.

Kathryn feels her heart beating faster. She knows what they're thinking about, and it makes her sick to her stomach. It makes her sick, because it could've been true. Again – it could have been. Her breath hitches in her throat.

"It's not – it was an accident – I didn't–" She drops her head again, flushed, nauseous. "It's not what you think. I swear." She prays that the Pogues don't hear any of that.

It'd be too easy to guess what's wrong with her if they do. And if that's the case, well. She feels like she's repeating herself.

Fear turns to anger, and Henry doesn't believe a single word she's saying. "Do I look like a fucking idiot?" he lets out, making Max scowl.

"I swear!" she maintains. "I wouldn't do that. Not to you. It's not what it looks like."

"It never is, is it?" He shakes his head. "Disinfect that, and go to your room. We'll talk about this later."

Giving him one last glare, she opens the front door and slams it behind her. Henry falters a little, and Max can see it. The guilt. He has to look after his niece, and he failed, and she's hurt because of that. Because of him.

She's his brother's kid. She's his kid, and he keeps letting her down, doesn't he? He wants to keep her safe, and make sure she's okay, but he would need to look after her 24/7, and it would drive both of them insane.

Maybe there's another option.

He looks back at the Twinkie. "Come here, all of you!"

Max sighs. "This is going to be good."

He's taken aback by the pained look on Henry's face. "I need someone to look out for my little girl."

The Pogues, though, aren't aware of his intentions. John B stares at him.

"We're gonna die," he says.

"Shut up John B."

Pope sees the look on Henry's face as he gets out. "No, Kie, he's right we're going to die."

JJ seems a bit too unaware of this. "Evening mister H, Max."

"JJ," Max warns softly. "Now is not the time."

"Yeah, sorry," he mumbles.

Henry sighs, trying to keep it together. "I need you four idiots to do me a favour."

They all look at each other, frowning.

"I... thought you were going to yell at us?" says John B, confused.

"I should, yeah," Henry agrees, and he wants to run for his life. "But it's also the first time she has been out in weeks. You just... you just have to keep an eye on her."

Kie frowns. "Then why are you so worried?"

The words are stuck in Henry's throat, so Max takes it from here. "Listen, there's a reason why Kat came back from London."

"What happened?" Pope inquires.

Max rubs his face, and takes Henry's hand. Henry gives him a small smile, silently thanking him.

"This isn't airing her laundry – I just need you to be aware of how bad it can get, okay? Because it can be ugly, and I have to make sure you know what to do." It's rhetorical, but they nod. "She almost died.

They can feel their blood running cold in their veins. For a split second, it feels like a sick joke. But why would Henry lie? It'd make no sense. But Kathryn had made it clear that her coming back wasn't planned. And well, they can only guess what would make Caroline Darcy cave and allow her to come back to OBX.

"What happened?" JJ asks this time, anger and fear laced in his voice.

Max shakes his head. "You just have to know that her mother sent her here to take a break from everything. She'll tell you the rest when she's ready."

Henry closes his eyes a moment, before opening them again. "We're only telling you this because you have to look after her, okay? If you tell her anything..." He sighs. "Well, you know her, I guess. Just, take care of her for me."

They all nod frantically.

"Of course."

"Yeah, she's one of us."

"We'll watch over her."

"You can trust us, sir."

Henry scoffs a little. "Yeah, I flippin' hope so." He sniffles, and they notice only now that tears are gathering in his eyes. "She can – she has panic attacks sometimes, and she can't move, and she may pass out, okay? When this happens, can you tell me?"

They look like fishes out of the water for a second, before Kie clears her throat. "She uh... she just did, actually."

"That's how she got hurt," JJ adds.

For some reason, relief washes over Henry's face. "Okay, I'll take care of that. Thank you."

"You can go now," Max adds. "Goodnight. And if you need anything, just tell us, okay?"

"'Night."

Once Max and Henry are back inside, the Pogues slowly walk back to the Twinkie. They all climb up, and John B drives off to the Château. The first few minutes are spent in silence, each of them trying to process what just happened.

"Hey," Pope says, the first one to talk. "Does anyone else feel like something's off?"

"Yes Pope," answers Kie. "We just learnt that one of our best friends almost died."

He shakes his head. "No, like... Did you notice how they reacted when they saw she was hurt?"

"It's their niece," says John B. "They love her, of course they'd be concerned."

"Stop pretending like I'm the stupid one here. They seemed pretty upset that the injury was on her wrist, of all places. And how did she react after that? She said that it was 'not what it looked like'. That she wouldn't do it to him. I'm telling you, something's wrong."

"Pope, what are you saying ?" asks John B, fed up with this.

"I'm just – what if it's worse than what they told us?"

"Just say it!" Kie cries out. "Stop leading us on!"

He takes a deep breath. "I'm just saying... What if she tried to kill herself?"

Heavy silence falls on the Twinkie. Kie feels her heart beat faster, John B tightens his grip on the wheel, and Pope wishes really hard that he's wrong. But then again, is he? Is he wrong? It all just makes too much sense, doesn't it.

Except JJ shakes his head frantically. "Nah. No way. KD's like... she's Kat. She wouldn't have done that." He fidgets, anxious. "She wouldn't."

Nobody answers him for a while. They don't know what to say. Because Kathryn is different from what they remember. More secretive. Lonely. Kind of broken. But is it selfish to say that JJ doesn't want it to happen to someone he knows? It's the stuff you hear on the radio or watch on TV. And he should've known. He would've known if it happened to her.

Kie's the first one to break the silence. "I think... I think Pope's right," she mutters. "Like, outside of the fact that she's angry." She runs a hand through her hair, feeling her heart ache from the sole thought of it. "She gets weird when people touch her. Scared."

John B frowns. "Not with us."

"Yeah, that's what you tell yourself," Kie sighs. "But she does."

He doesn't answer for a moment, before he purses his lips. "Fine. I put a hand on her arm and she recoiled, but that doesn't have to mean anything."

Pope sighs sourly. "Social anxiety and panic attacks are repercussions of a failed suicide attempt."

Kie shakes her head. "Can you please not say it like that? She's not a subject, Pope. It's Kat."

He winces. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just saying... We have to consider the fact that it might have been what happened."

John B lets out a sad laugh. "I'm not sure I want to."

Pope drops his head. "Yeah, me neither."

JJ suddenly turns around, looking at each and every one of them. His eyes are gleaming a bit. "Just shut up! I'm telling you – she didn't do this, okay? She's... fuck. She would've said something." He shakes his head, rubbing his face.

"Would she?" John B asks him. "Would she have said something? We haven't been especially welcoming to her. Most of us, still."

"Man fuck you–"

"That's not what I meant!" he cries out, almost swerving to the right. "Maybe she just didn't feel like she couldn't talk to us."

"She didn't do this."

There's a silence again, Kie looking at him with sad eyes, her eyes locked in his. "JJ..." She takes his hand. "Are you saying this because you know it's not true, or because you just don't want it to be?"

Truthfully, he's not sure of anything right now.

Author's Note: I mean, Henry's pretty scary if you ask me

Editor's Note: GIVE ME A MINUTE TO HOLD MY GIRL <333333333333333333

watching everyone get on henry's case for telling the pogues about kat giggling knowing full well if he hadn't kat would've NEVEEEEEER said anything and he basically saved her life ❤️ henry get behind me RIGHT NEOOOOW