With Pope gone, the three of them decided to pick up some of his work around the shop, so that at least, his parents won't be on his ass. Whatever happens, whatever road he went down, at least he wouldn't have to worry about that.

From time to time, Kathryn brushes the tip of the letter, peeking from her pocket. As if to reassure herself that it was still here, even if she couldn't use it. Her very own ticket out of here.

"Well, I appreciate the help, you guys," Misses Heyward tells them, cooking on her barbecue.

She offered to cook for them, after their hard work. And, well... "You know I ain't missing Misses Heyward's cooking," JJ says, wiping the table.

Kathryn snorts, putting the plates down. "Oh, we know." He makes a face at her. "What he means is 'thank you.'"

"You're welcome. Very polite, unlike my derelict son," Misses Heyward remarks. "He's usually here by now." JJ tries to get a piece of chicken, but she slaps his hand off.

"I'm sure he'll be back any second, Misses Heyward," Cleo tells her.

Kathryn hums. "He better be, or I'm eating everything."

"Any one of y'all moved the pistol from in there? The one I keep under the register?"

Heyward comes stomping from the shop, gesturing back inside. The trio stares at him, and then at each other. Surely... Everytime Kathryn starts a sentence with that word, she has to assume the very worst.

"JJ?"

Surprised, JJ holds up his hands. "Whoa, okay. I didn't touch it, okay?"

"Yeah, well, somebody did. 'Cause it's gone!"

He opens his mouth again, but Kathryn beats him to it, shaking her head, crossing her arms. "If JJ says it wasn't him, then it wasn't, Heyward."

Hypocritical, considering he just stole money from her dad. But in that case, she could squint and understand the motive. Her mom knew how to get under people's skin. JJ had no reason to steal that gun. She trusts him on that.

But she knows someone who does.

He inhales sharply, looking back at his wife. "You see? I... Dang it. I gotta find it."

The Heywards go back inside, the teenagers immediately consulting themselves.

"It's him," Kathryn says.

Cleo smacks her lips. "Are you sure?"

"Cleo, I know what Rafe does to people." She risks a look at JJ, who was already looking at her. "I tried to kill him myself. We've got to find him."

JJ nods. "I'll check Tannyhill."

"I'll take the Cut," Cleo says.

Kathryn is already walking away. "I've got the marina."

🍓

It's night, when Kathryn gets to the very last part of the marina. She's been searching high and low, even getting on some of the closer boats, just to make sure that he wasn't hiding in one. She freaked some tourons off. But at least, they didn't call the cops...

By the time she can't see any further than her own feet, she finds him, sitting at the end of a dock. In front of Rafe Cameron's catamaran.

Pointing a gun at him.

Even from that far, Kathryn can tell that it's a clear shot. If Pope puts his mind to it, he could kill Rafe Cameron. Just like she could have. Just like she still could.

She licks her lips, heart hammering in her chest. The only person she ever had to talk out of ending someone's life, was herself. And she failed.

That's what got her here in the first place.

"Pope." He flinches, acknowledging her. "Pope, come on. You don't want to do this." He stays silent. She swallows thickly. "I'm not saying you won't feel better, but that won't last."

She'd know. Pounding into Rafe, caving his face in, she had loved it. Deliriously so.

A second later, she had hated herself.

"I don't care," he croaks out.

Kathryn inhales deeply, wiping her clammy hands on her jeans. "Right now, you don't. But what happens when your mum and dad have to watch you be taken away? What would they say, then?"

He sobs a little, breathing heavily, gun starting to shake. "I think they would udnerstand how I feel. For once, he would lose like we always do." He sniffles. "It doesn't matter anyway. I've lost everything."

Kathryn blinks, and sees herself, towering over a bleeding Rafe, his throat between her hands, squeezing the life out. She felt good, at that moment. She felt powerful, like she'd regain control. But she hadn't. She was losing it, and Rafe was winning.

She sits down next to Pope, shoulder to shoulder.

"Pope, believe me when I say I know how you feel," she says, as calm as she can, staring out at Rafe, oblivious on his boat. "I don't think anyone wants Rafe dead more than I do. But if you do that, if you kill him, you let him win. You'll go to jail and your life will be destroyed. I've told you. That's what he does. He destroys things."

Slowly, her hand reaches up to the gun. Pope sobs against her, still not letting go.

"You have a lot to lose, Pope," she says as softly as she can. "A lot of things are still whole. A lot of things are waiting for you. Your family, your home. Cleo, our friends. I know it feels like it, that Rafe took something from you, but it wasn't everything."

Pope doesn't answer, but she sees his finger on the trigger shake. She tugs a little.

"He took your inheritance. Don't let him take your life from you, too."

Pope slumps against her, crying. The gun clatters to the ground. Kathryn catches him easily, wrapping her arms around him, rubbing his back.

JJ had said it to her, once. She had laughed in his face, of course. 'Don't let her kill you too,' he'd said, about her mother, and she didn't fully get it until now, until she held Pope's shaking form.

Caroline nearly forced Kathryn to change into something she was not. Rafe had done the same to Pope, put him against the wall, with seemingly no other way.

Change can be murder. A bullet could kill two.

"It's okay," she soothes, kissing the top of his head. "Breathe through it, it's okay. I've got you."

And she always will. Because that's how it would always go. Whenever someone would mess with Pope, she'd be here. That included himself.

He'd stopped her from killing Rafe, back at the hangar, months ago. She just had to return the favour.

🍓

Kathryn left Pope in safe hands. That is, Cleo's. She's not a fool. She knows that look you get, when you like a friend. Besides, she knows she'll handle Pope. He'll be okay, with her. She'll take care of him.

All the people Rafe broke were meant to be put back together.

She parks her car in the Palace driveway, and climbs out. She takes the letter out of her pocket. Now's as good a time as any, right? Even if she was alone, at least, she'd have her answer. Her friends clearly had bigger things to do, things to be worried about. They weren't exactly normal kids. She'd been stupid to think that she'd find a time to get them all together. Hell... John B was lying to her, now.

If she hadn't been there tonight, if she had been in Yale, what would have happened? She would love to think that Pope would have snapped out of it himself, but she can't be sure. What good would it get her, seeing Yale's answer, if she knew she wasn't going there?

"What's that?"

She nearly jumps out of her skin, looking back at the porch. Sitting on the steps, his elbows on his knees, JJ looks back at her.

She shoves the letter back in her pocket, confused. "Uh... I thought I texted you. Pope's back home, with Cleo. Crisis averted."

"Yeah, yeah, I got your text."

Kathryn walks over to him, slowly, until she stands in front of him and he has to properly look up at her. "So what are you doing here?"

"I was on the way to the Chât."

She arches a brow at him. "Okay. Why are you on my stairs?"

"Well, first off, mister H will kill me if I put one foot inside your house." She snorts, rolling her eyes at him. "I saw you."

"That explains a lot, thanks, JJ." She frowns. "Saw me what?"

"Fidgeting with that shit in your pocket, all day. What is it?"

She tries not to think about the fact that JJ noticed. Why is she still surprised? He always notices, every last little detail. If she just showed it to him, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, would it? She doesn't picture JJ forcing her to leave, to go anywhere.

Letting out a long sigh, she sits on the stairs next to him, bumping into him as she fishes for the letter. She hands it to him.

He takes half a second to realise. "Yale? I thought you wouldn't know until December."

"So did I. Well, to be fair, I thought I wouldn't know period, considering we were stranded." She bites her lip, suddenly nervous. "My dad pulled a few strings." JJ looks up at her, alarmed. "Only to speed it up, Henry checked."

He stares at it, turning it over in his hand. "Why didn't you open it?"

She felt a little silly, admitting all of this out loud, but the fact that it was him helped. "I wanted everyone to be here," she says. "But Kie's on lockdown, Pope tweaked, and John B's definitely lying to us." JJ nods, huffing slightly. She shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe I'll just never open it."

That thought seems out of the question for him. "Are you kidding? Kat, you have to." She looks away. "What is it?" he asks, searching for her gaze. "You scared they won't accept you?"

She gathers her knees to her chest, shrugging again. "I'm scared they will."

"Uh... you lost me."

Kathryn turns back to him, a sad smile on her lips. "Yale's my way out, JJ. I've been thinking of stepping out of all this, because, really, I'm burning out. I'm like a kid chasing after every wave, and it's tiring. I don't know how long I can keep this up." She looks off again. "But I can't just... walk out on you guys. That's not fair either."

JJ follows her gaze. He doesn't say anything, for a moment, but she doesn't need him to. She knows he understands. Talking to him is easy. Being with him, is easy. Not safe by any account.

Easy like a routine. Warm like a campfire. Everything smelled like the sun.

"I can open it for you."

She looks back at him, dubious. "Really?"

"Yeah," he nods. "I mean, if you want to open it now. I know it's just me."

Her gaze softens. "Yeah. Sure. Go ahead."

He opens the letter, and makes sure to unfold it away from her inquisitive gaze, making her chortle a little at his theatrics. He readds the first line.

JJ's face looks grave. Her stomach drops.

"What? JJ, what is it?"

He stammers. "Kat... look, we have time, right? You were in advance anyway."

"What?" She can't get rejected, can she? "Give me that!"

She never thought of what would happen if she got rejected from Yale. Where would she go? It was only Yale, no other option. She really, really wanted to go there. She had to. And to say she'd been worried about–

She reads the first line.

JJ is smirking. "Well, at least now you know what you want, right?"

Kathryn stares back at him, face flat. "You're not funny."

His face splits into a smile. "I am."

"You're not."

He laughs, and she hates to admit that she exhales a chuckle too, staring at the letter. She rereads it, to make sure. There's no doubt. They have the pleasure to welcome her in 2021.

Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy got into Yale. By September of next year, she'll be gone.

She'll be gone.

And she's laughing. Smiling, tears at the corner of her eyes. Laughing because she can't believe it. She worked hard for this, and it paid out, despite everything. She got what she wanted, the major she wanted, everything.

"I got in."

He grins back at her. "You got in baby!"

He hugs her, and she lets him, the letter hanging behind his neck as she exhales another breathy chuckle. His arms wrap themselves around her shoulders, bringing her closer, holding her as tight as he can.

Her ticket out, out of the gold hunt, out of this whole thing that kept bringing her down. The break she so desperately wanted. She'll text them everyday, when she's there. And she'll help if they need anything, of course. And it's not like they'll forget her, she'll come home on holiday. And... if they really need her to come... if they're in a tough spot...

She'll be miles away. With everything she ever wanted.

It's not until JJ rubs her back that she realises she's crying.

"It's silly," she says when she leans back. "I don't know why I'm crying."

JJ has that lopsided smile that makes her heart tight in her chest. He wipes her tears with his thumbs, softly. "It's okay."

She nods, sniffling. "Yeah."

"Kat."

She looks up at him, at the shade of blue eyes she still paints in her dreams, that still haunt her wherever she goes. He knows, why she's crying. He always does.

"We'll be fine, when you go." He takes her hand. "And so will you."

Her heart swells, she feels like crying again, but she just leans against his forehead, forgetting that she vowed never to cry in front of him again. It was JJ, and he would always make her vulnerable, she couldn't help that. She never could. Fighting against it had been stupid. Fighting against him had been stupid.

She chuckles, leaning back, wiping her tears. "And it's not until a long time, right? Like, nearly a whole year."

He nods, thumbing his ring on her finger. "Yeah, no, we have plenty of time to get shot at again."

She snorts. She's not sure he's wrong. But then again, now, she had a way out. An actual one. It scared her. She'd never been so excited.

When she opens her eyes, she takes in every detail of JJ's still face. The sad frown on his eyebrows but the tugged up corner of his lips. The slope of his nose, and the dimple that creases his right cheek. She drinks everything in, marks it in her brain. She ends with his eyes, shining under the streetlights. She always liked his eyes.

She gestures back to the door. "I'm gonna head in. Henry's probably wondering where I am, by now."

JJ nods. "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks," she says. "For the letter. And the rest."

He looks at her. Studies her, really. His gaze had always been piercing. Before he can convince himself that it's not a good idea, he kisses her cheek.

"Good night, KD."

JJ stands up, and she has to take a moment to think about what to say, taken aback.

"Hey, I never said you could call me that again!" Her voice comes out high-pitched, amused, not at all angry in the slightest.

He turns around, extending his arms. "I like to live dangerously."

"Idiot."

A year. A year, and she'd be done. That meant she wasn't done yet. Kathryn had some fight left in her. But definitely not for any gold. She'd fight tooth and nail, and try as hard as she can, but there was no treasure for her, at the end of the road.

Kathryn won't stop until she gets JJ back. 

Author's Note: 

JUST TRUST ME YOU'LL BE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay real talk quickly, I'm nearly done with my master's thesis' first draft, but I do have to lock in for the last few days, right? If it gets real bad, no updates until monday ... and at best, new update on friday, but I really don't know yet

Also we're zooming through this season? I think it's because there's SO MANY Big John and John B scenes there's barely any left for the other Pogues, which I'm soooo not mad about ahaha (I'm being sarcastic)