Kathryn Darcy is, arguably, a being made of apologies. With a hint of shame. If she's managed from a young age to stop herself from apologising every time she breathes (at what cost... now there was only misplaced anger), it didn't impact the fact that she knew when to carry guilt. Unhealthily, but she did.

Like when she got angry at the Pogues for John B's funeral. It had been all grief talking, but she had been insufferable, she knows it. She apologised profusely until Pope told her to shut it.

Like when she drove John B into a storm.

The point is, Kathryn is used to giving out apologies. She always means them. Truly, don't listen to anyone telling you that saying sorry is hard. It's really not; actually meaning it is the hard part for them. It's not for her.

"If they don't kill me, I'll do it myself."

The hard part for Kathryn is admitting she was wrong, in a non-self centred way. It's really more of a 'well, what are they going to do to me this time?' way. By they she means her mother, of course. Being wrong didn't exactly go well in the Darcy household back in London.

She's the last one JJ took home on his bike. If Henry knew about this on top of everything, she'd be done for, she knows this.

And even then, staring up at the lighted porch, she knows that it's not going to go all that well. She kept them up. She wasn't supposed to leave for that long, she promised to be home by ten with school the next day. And now it was well past one in the morning, and they were still waiting for her to get home.

JJ's been waiting with her at the front door for about a dozen minutes now. It's not that he doesn't feel for her, it's more like he doesn't know what she's so afraid of.  At least she has people who care about her.

"Aw c'mon," JJ tries to reassure her. "What's the worst that could happen?"

She frowns and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Do you want me to rank what could happen from best to worst or by alphabetical order?"

Okay, well, evidently, if she doesn't get a little push, nothing's going to happen. "Alright, if this is going to take all night..."

He rings the bell and starts to leave as Kathryn gasps loudly.

"JJ!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Come back here!"

"You have a good night, okay?"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

"JJ!"

She would've kept on yelling after him, but the door opens on Max, who immediately heaves out a sigh of relief and takes Kathryn in his arms. She was so convinced that Max and Henry would be angry at her for skipping school and coming home late, that she didn't even think that they'd be this worried. Her mum would have flipped so hard, she would've slapped her across the face. But here Max is, hugging her as tight as he can.

"You're fine," he lets out, holding her close.

Her eyes well up in tears she has to blink away as she presses her face into his shoulder. "I am."

She hears him sniffle, and her heart breaks a little. "Alright, let's get you inside."

Henry is waiting, pacing by the glass coffee table, rubbing his forehead. When he sees her, his face relaxes and he blows out a breath of relief, something itching in his throat. "Come here."

She lets him hug her tight. His cheek rests on the top of her head, breathing heavily, and she wonders if he even had been crying. She loops her arms around his middle, inhaling deeply. He smells of his leather jacket and traces of whiskey.

"I'm sorry," she breathes out, voice trembling. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to stay out so late."

There's not much else she can say. If she utters John B's name, or anything to do with the gold, they'll get involved. She already saw someone get shot today, she doesn't want it to happen again, especially not if it's them.

"Are you okay?" Henry asks, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

She's not, and at this point, it's fairly obvious. Henry is just asking to check if she's willing to talk about it or not. She isn't. "Yeah. Yeah, um, I just had problems starting Kie's car to get home and you know, I wanted to do it myself."

He sighs through his nose, and she's not sure he bought it. Of course, Kathryn knows her way around a car – she's fixed enough old cars with Henry. She's also headstrong enough to not call someone to get it fixed, but she would've texted them.

"Kat, we were worried sick," Max tells her, a frown on his face.

She parts from Henry, playing with her bracelet, uneasy. "I know, I'm sorry. I lost track of time."

Henry scoffs and shakes his head, stepping back. "You're... you're so much like your dad."

A small smile plays on her lips, because that has to be a compliment, right? "Really?"

"Yeah. Thinking we're going to buy your lies when you risk your life out there for some treasure, yeah, that's exactly like Edward."

Kathryn scowls, crossing her arms on her chest. She knows she deserves the anger any punishment she's going to get, but she doesn't deserve this. Her dad was a good guy. He wasn't just some treasure-obsessed petty liar.

"Henry," Max warns. "Now is not the time."

"Dad wasn't like that," Kathryn says.

"Maybe not for you," Henry tells her. "Maybe not at first. But he wasn't the god you make him out to be. And I know these lies, I know how you get when treasure hangs in the balance–"

"Oh my god!" she cries out. "We don't even have the treasure, we lost it!"

"But you went after it, and look what it did!" She closes her mouth. He doesn't have to say John B's name for her to know exactly what he's talking about. Henry shuts his eyes tightly. "I almost lost you because of this, and I won't let that happen again."

Kathryn stares at her uncle, at a loss for words. She had seen this side of him when she told him she had found the Royal Merchant. She remembered how anxious and angry he got, saying that this had all happened before. She can't hold it against him, because what he's doing, trying to stop her from getting involved, is exactly what she's doing to them.

But she won't stand for the way he talked about her dad. She lets anger crackle in her, scoffing. "What are you going to do? Lock me in my room because you're too scared of making the same mistakes you did with dad?"

When she sees the words hit him, she bites down her tongue. She shouldn't have said that. Max tries to put a hand on his back, but he shrugs it away, and for a split second, Kathryn sees herself and JJ.

Why can't she just not be angry all the freaking time? Why is that too much to ask?

"You're grounded," Henry tells her, and she looks away. "You're not leaving this place unless it's for school. No more going out with the Pogues, no more stupid treasure hunt, got it?"

She grits her teeth, trying not to scream. She has to help John B. She has to clear his name, and Henry grounding her is not going to stop that, ever. Not in a million years, but she can't say that to his face. She wants to, she can feel the hot poison filling her mouth already, but she can't.

"Fine," she seethes. "Suit yourself."

She climbs up the stairs, leaving her uncle behind. When she gets in her studio, she slams her door, and huffs angrily, hiding her face behind her hands. She can't believe what he said about her dad. She does not idolise him, at all. She's aware that he made mistakes. Don't ask her to name one, it's said in an absolute way.

He went after the Royal Merchant head first, there's one. And then, he double crossed Ward and wanted to give Big John all the money, there's two. Even then, they aren't exactly mistakes, it's just from a man that wanted to do the right thing, isn't it? And yes, maybe, double-crossing a Cameron and helping a Routledge does sound like something she would do...

Maybe Kathryn is her father's daughter, but she never thought it'd be a bad thing.

"I take it it didn't go well."

Kathryn throws her bag at the voice, a scream blocked in her throat. It hits JJ square in the face and he yelps, holding his forehead.

"You idiot!" she whistles out. "I'm going to bolt that window forever if you keep getting in unannounced."

It's not like it's a recurrent thing... It is. It's exactly like that, because every so often, JJ would not be able to sleep alone, and he'd show at the Palace using the tree in front of the studio. She lets the window open for him. Sure, other less good-minded people – not that he was... – could also get in, but at this point, with everything that's happening, it's the least of her problems.

"What, you didn't think I'd wait for you to get killed?" He cries out, holding his head. "That's insane KD."

She stares him down, not in the mood. "Says the guy who wanted to kidnap Rafe Cameron earlier today."

"Touchay."

"It's touché."

"That's what I said."

"It's – nevermind."

Kathryn sinks down on the sofa holding her face in her hands, pushing her glasses on the top of her head, rubbing her face. JJ sits down next to her, hesitant. If Henry and Max even knew that he got there after their conversation, Henry would have his head.

The full force of what happened tonight finally gets through, and she shudders a little. "You okay?" JJ asks.

She closes her eyes. "We saw someone get killed today," she mutters, voice small. "Like, actually, in front of us. He got shot two times."

He swallows thickly, the memory still fresh in his brain. "Yeah, and then we had to go through Shoupe. I can't believe he's that fucking dumb."

She scoffs a little. "I can. He's an arse. I'd say he has good intentions as a redeeming quality, but it wouldn't even be true. He's just..."

"An ass," JJ completes, and she nods.

She sighs a little. "Wanna know something fun?"

"Does it involve, like, the hidden stack of weed in your room?"

"No. Henry said I was just like my dad. And not in a good way. More in a 'I don't care how the treasure hunting affects others way', which I hate. And on top of that, I'm grounded." She scratches her knee. "I mean, it's not like it's going to stop me, but..."

"I think he's just flipping out. He'll probably apologise in the morning." He frowns, and turns to her. "Wait no hold up, if John B is Big John and you're Edward, does that mean I'm Caroline? 'Cause I'd rather just kill myself right now."

She snorts, shaking her head, before feeling her stomach sink. They're laughing, and making jokes... and someone died tonight. Someone died, and they're chuckling.

They stare at each other for a moment, before Kathryn starts to feel her throat close up, and JJ's heart is beating faster as what happens finally makes sense to him.

She flushes a little. "Could you just... hold me?"

In a matter of seconds, her head is tucked under JJ's chin, and his arms are around her, holding her tightly. They're not sure which of them needs comfort the most right this instant, but what matters is that they both do.

Kathryn closes her eyes, clinging to JJ's shirt, but never crying. Tonight's just been a lot, and even if they have an idea of what the plan is now, it still feels like a setback.

"I kept seeing Max," she croaks out. "When Ward shot Gavin, all I saw was Max lying in a pool of blood and I can't do anything about it."

JJ starts to rub her back, holding her even tighter. "It's okay. He's right downstairs, and he's fine."

She sniffles, nodding against his chest. "I know, I know."

They stay like this for a moment, JJ finally relaxing. It always takes him a while to understand that he's safe here. With her. But eventually, the walls come down and he finds himself nuzzling the crook of her neck for that scent of lavender and vanilla.

He clears his throat. "I thought about my dad."

Kathryn frowns, and looks up at him. "What?"

"When there's a fight, I think about what my dad did to me. All the time."

His eyes are distant, void of any emotion. She wonders if he's picturing it, every blow. Kathryn grabs him by the cheeks to bring him back to reality.

"He's not here," she swears. "He won't ever get you here. As long as I'm here, he won't do anything to you, I swear." She shrugs a little with a reassuring smile. "'Cause I'll go absolutely mad and maybe even tear him a new one so–"

"Shut up."

For a second, she thinks of scowling and yelling at him for telling her to 'shut up', but her frown quickly devolves into her stomach tightening and heat spreading through her body. JJ is staring at her like he'll never get sick of it.

Her hands slide down his neck, and his settle on the spot where her waist dips. A voice rings in her head, telling her that this is not right, that they shouldn't do this just because he was there for her with Max, and because she threatened her father. There's something deeply wrong with that, and they shouldn't–

The black of his pupils swallow the blue of his iris when his eyes fall on her lips. There's a kind of hunger there. It drives her insane.

"JJ," she breathes out, a warning.

"Don't talk about the agreement. Fuck the agreement."

Her eyes grow wide and butterflies erupt in her stomach. "You said you'd be anything I want you to be."

"I did," he hums, his nose brushing against hers. "Warn me when I do something you don't want me to."

JJ takes off her glasses and puts them on the table next to them, never breaking eye contact. She's not sure she has to warn him about anything, especially not when one of his hands falls to her thigh, igniting a different kind of fire. If she says anything, he'll be away from her in the blink of an eye. The words are lodged in her throat.

She feels his breath fan over her lips. There's just inches in between them.

"We can't," she says before it's too late. A second later, and she wouldn't have been able to stop herself.

JJ closes his eyes, and sits back on the sofa, elbows on his knees. Kathryn feels suddenly cold.

"Someone died tonight, Henry's mad at me, you just talked about your dad, it's not right," she goes on.

He nods, half-heartedly. "Yeah, no, I get it."

"It's nothing against you."

"I said I got it." He turns to her, a corner of his lip tugged up. "The agreement is the agreement, right?"

Her eyebrows knit together. "Right."

He toes a fine line between trying not to make her feel guilty and hiding his deception. It's not like he's lying when he says that he gets it, because he does. Kathryn doesn't want him to kiss her for the wrong reasons. He figures after Rafe doing what he did for them, it must be important to her. He gets it.

Doesn't make it any less tempting.

He clears his throat, wiping his sweaty hands on his bermuda shorts. "I'm gonna go."

Her face falls a little. "You don't have to."

"I don't want to make it weird," he maintains. "Or embarrassing. I mean, I'll see you tomorrow morning anyway to get the gun, right?"

She looks away, licking her lips. "Yeah. See you tomorrow, then."

JJ leaves, Kathryn putting her glasses back on her nose. She knows she keeps pushing him away for the right reasons, and she can't expect him to be happy about it or coming back everytime she does, that'd be awful.

Someone died, Henry and Max are angry and disappointed, JJ barely opened up about his dad – it's just bad timing all over. She made the right choice. She doesn't want him to think that she's just there for him because it gets him going or something. And the same goes for her!

And yet, now that Kathryn's alone, her fingers ghost over her lips pondering what could have been.

Author's Note: I'd give them everything in a heartbeat wtf lemme sacrifice my life for you real quick

Editor's Note:

And if I said this isn't the slow burn but Kat learning her consent and her boundaries are respected will we still tell her to stfu ...