•walking•
[Trigger warning: drug mention (it's quick) sad and depressing thoughts, angst, blood (it's just a nosebleed it's okay) thoughts of self harm, mentions of being high,]
{I'll put a crappy summary at the end}
<Romans POV>
I woke up slowly, my head pounding. Gosh how drunk did I get? I sat up and went to get some water. Wait, I didn't get drunk... FUCK I GOT HIGH- my thoughts were cut off by Logan. "Morning" he said in a slightly annoyed tone, sitting down at the table.
"How many dumb things did I do." I asked, knowing I probably tried flirting or dancing, which never ends well. "Well you only did 1 stupid thing" only 1! At least I didn't go crazy... again. "But that stupid thing was the dumbest thing possible" what does that mean?
"What does that mean, the dumbest thing possible? How dumb could I be?"
He sighed. "You brought up Remus, in front of someone. "Who?" Why is that bad? What did I say?! "You said it would be funny to do 'what he did to someone.' And you happened to say it in front of someone who I believe knows him, at least from seeing it on the news."
"Why aren't you telling me who?" Just spit it out already! "I do not wish to share that information" what is he even saying? "But why not!" Why is he being such an asshole. "Because you'll do something stupid if I tell you" is that what he thinks of me? I won't do something stupid, will I?
"Fine but you have to promise you won't do anything"
"Of course I won't!" Come on just day it. "...Virgil" What's so bad about that? I look at him confused. "And what's bad about it being him?" I asked. "Nothing about it being him, but I didn't want you saying anything, or doing something... idiotic"
"Well I'm not, is that good enough for you?"
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After a few hours we decided to go down to the library and get all of our books that we needed. There's a little ice cream shop right next to it, so hopefully Logan doesn't lecture me on how bad ice cream is for your health. Maybe I'll stop in there later.
I go to pay for my textbooks, and it's a lot. "That'll be $600" Jeez and that's only the first semester. I know their expensive, but wow. Maybe I don't have time, or money, for ice cream after this.
I pay and wait for Logan outside.
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After a while of walking around, Logan decides he wanted to leave and go back to our new home. I just walk trying to figure things out.
I waked over to a bench and sit down, and pull out some earbuds. I don't listen to anything, but maybe this way people just won't talk to me. It's kind of weird, normally I love talking, but I just don't feel like it. Maybe this is what Logan was talking about when he said I feel guilty about Remus. Why do I even feel bad for him, he was an idiot. I didn't do anything wrong, but he just couldn't handle himself. Did our parents care about drugs more than us, sure, but that shouldn't make me feel bad for him. He's a villain. This isn't my fault, it's our parents fault he's like this. They didn't care, they don't care.
Maybe I'm in over my head coming back to college, I probably could've given myself at least a semester off, now that I really don't have a family.
Well that got depressing really quickly! I decided I should probably head back, but as I stood I I noticed someone sitting a few tables away, wearing a dark hoodie, face covered. I should probably talk to him, but I just don't feel like it. I just can't right now.
<Virgil's POV>
Last night when I finally stopped crying, I noticed Patton was asleep, it figures he probably just got tired of dealing with me. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, but it's better than none, right? I left this morning and I just left Patton a note saying I was picking up stuff for school since he was still asleep.
I already had everything but I just wanted to get out for a little bit. If I don't, I might actually lose it and I can't do that. I brought a notebook and just decided to write or draw some stuff.
Virgil's reasons for liking being a loser:
1. When you don't wanna talk, it's perfect since you have no one who wants to talk to you.
2. You can sit alone on a bench and no one cares.
3. When you start crying on that bench no one notices (partly because you learned how to cry silently)
4. When your nose starts bleeding while your crying on that bench, nobody sees making it less embarrassing.
5. No one cares and that feels great
Virgil's reasons for hating being a loser
1. When you need to talk even if you don't want to, no one cares.
2 when you sit alone on a bench no one cares.
3. When you start crying no one notices and no one cares
4. When your bleeding no one sees so you just panic
5 NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU
Great so now there's tears and blood on this notebook, that's just wonderful. Just like the rest of my life.
You know you what that blood looks like.
Oh your back
Shut up you know you love me
I don't know what it looks like
Yes you do and you know it
...
You know you want to.
No I don't
Of course you do, you want the release of pain, you want the smooth blade sliding across-
Lalalalala NOT LISTENING
You can't just quit me
AHHHH LALALALA
fine be a bitch, I'll be back later.
I got up and found a napkin to wipe all the blood and tears off my face.
What does that mean I'll be back soon! Your my brain wtf
Before I can question my thinking any more, I decide to just go back to my new home, and try to prepare my self for one hell filled year.
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Summary:
Logan informs Roman about what he did while high, and they go to get textbooks. Virgil is just being an angsty boy and sits alone at a bench writing things that are good and bad about being a loser when his nose bleeds and he decides to go back home
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