It was early afternoon when I heard a knock at the door. I had been curled up on the chair in the living room with the blanket that no longer smelled like Harrison. And it wasn't because I was sad and depressed this time. I just felt comforted by it. It was the first time I had sat there with the blanket when my mind didn't turn to dark, depressive thoughts.

I hopped up and set the blanket down on the chair. When I answered the door, I was greeted by Jon's wide smile.

"Hey, baby," he said.

Embarrassingly, I felt my cheeks get hot. I moved out of the way to let him into the house. He bent and kissed the top of my head. I crossed my arms, huffed, and turned away from him. I wasn't ready for him to be this affectionate with me, but I didn't think he would stop if I said anything so I stayed quiet on the matter.

"You're cute when you pout," he said with a smile. I ignored him. "Are you hungry? I thought we could get something to eat and then get your car."

I looked at him again. With a little eye roll, I said, "I suppose."

He looked at me with slightly narrowed eyes. "Is that an attitude I hear? Do you want to find out what I do to boys who have an attitude?"

I swallowed. My dick got hard in two seconds flat.

Yes. Yes, I did want to know what he did to boys with an attitude.

I chewed on my lip. "Maybe some other time...Daddy." I finished it with a whisper, not knowing how he would react to that.

Harrison had never wanted me to call him Daddy because he said it reminded him of how much older he was than me. The daddy thing had always been a turn on for me, but if someone wasn't into it like I was I didn't want to try to push it on them.

I watched Jon cautiously to gauge his reaction. I was almost taken aback by the arousal I saw in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to eat me alive.

"Do not call me that again unless you want me to fuck you," he said in a commanding tone. "I won't be able to hold myself back a second time."

I let out a quiet gasp. I nodded quickly. I didn't want to think of a reply incase I just blurted out 'Daddy' at the end and he ravished me right in the entry way to the house.

If I did have sex with Jon, it couldn't be in this house. I wouldn't do that to Harrison even if he was no longer here. I thought I would feel so guilty, feel like I was cheating on him, so much so that I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself.

I blinked a couple times and tried to get my arousal under control. "I am hungry," I finally said. "What did you have in mind?"

Jon smiled. "It'll be a surprise."

I looked at him, nervous of what he had planned. I grabbed my shoes and slipped them on quickly. Jon kept his smile and put his arm around my shoulders to guide me out of the house. Before we walked out the door, I grabbed my things off the table by the door and then we headed out.

___

When we pulled into the restaurant, my jaw dropped.

"You are not taking me here!" I exclaimed loudly.

"Why not?" Jon asked innocently, but he was smirking.

He had just pulled up to Blu Fin, the most expensive restaurant they had downtown. It was modern with mostly seafood dishes, but I didn't think they had any entrees for under forty dollars. Harrison and I had considered going there for one of our anniversaries, but he had almost had an aneurism when he saw the prices.

"This is way too much, Jon," I said and glanced up at the modern white building with blue trim and huge windows.    

"Don't worry about it. I wanted to take you someplace nice."

I sighed and looked back at him. "You don't have to take me to some restaurant that is going to cost you a fortune. I'll still go on a date with you even if it's at McDonald's.

"Well, I'll remember that for next time," he said jokingly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Seriously, I don't want to go in there. I'm sure I'm under dressed."

"It's casual, Beau. You'll be fine."

I glanced at the restaurant again nervously. I was sure he was just trying to impress me, but he didn't need to. He had already shown me enough times that he was a good guy. I don't know if he was trying to show that he could not only take care of me emotionally, but financially too. But whatever the reason, the prospect of walking in there was terrifying. I wasn't a fancy person, I had always been blue collar.

I hadn't even heard Jon get out of the truck, but the next thing I knew he was at my door, opening it for me.

"Stop thinking, Beau," he said in a strong tone and held his hand out for me to take.

I looked at him, pleading, but he only have me a hard look in return. I knew that if hesitated any longer he would use that commanding, dominating voice on me. I had just managed to force my erection to wane, so I didn't want to get turned on right now.

I told myself to suck it up and I took his hand.

He smiled and helped me get out of the large truck. After closing the passenger door, he wrapped a possessive arm around my waist.

That was the most couple-like thing he had done out in public so far and I looked around to see if anyone was staring at us. No one was.

Harrison hadn't been into PDA, but I had made him hold my hand when we were out because I wanted everyone to know he was my boyfriend. Jon didn't seem to have the same qualms that Harrison had and I didn't know how I felt about that.

Jon guided me to the doors of the restaurant and held a door open for me. I walked inside and his arm went around my waist again.

There was a perky young girl with a long blonde pony tail to greet us when we walked in. "Hello. Do you have reservations?" she asked with a smile.

I was about to open my mouth and say no when Jon said, "Yes. I called last night." He had his charismatic grin on his face and he ignored me when I looked up to glare at him.

I couldn't believe he had been planning this since last night.

"What's the name?" She asked, looking at the a notebook that she had in front of her.

"Jon," he replied.

She seemed to cross off his name and then smiled up at us again. "Right this way." She grabbed two menus and then began leading us through the restaurant.

It wasn't crazy packed, but a lot of the tables were filled. The interior was just as nice looking as the exterior. The place was lit up by sunlight coming in from the large windows. Jon was right, the attire seemed to be casual so I didn't appear underdressed.

She sat us at the table that was apart from the rest, hidden behind a short wall topped with indoor plants. The view out the window was amazing. My eyes were wide as I looked out the window and I didn't even notice the hostess placing a menu in front of me.

I heard Jon thanking the hostess, but I didn't look away from the view.

"This is amazing!" I exclaimed.

Jon chuckled and I looked over at him. He said, "I'm glad you like it, Beau."

His smile was so gorgeous to me and I felt my heart stop. I had to look out the window again to keep from staring too long. He reached over the table and touched my cheek. I turned my head back to him and he gave me a small smile.

"So, how's work going?" I asked to try to think of something to say. I picked up the menu in front of me and started going over it. I swallowed thickly when I saw that some of the prices were a lot higher than I thought.

"Good. Nothing very exciting ever happens," he said and I knew he was still looking at me and not looking at his own menu.

"Do you have a lot of employees?" I didn't know anything about his job, barely knew anything about him really. And I still felt like he knew so much more about me than I knew about him.

"About thirty," he answered. "Not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it works for us."

I nodded and stared at the menu, hard. I hadn't been on a date in a long time. Harrison and I had occasionally went out to eat, but I didn't really consider those dates. We had been together so long and we knew everything about each other. We didn't have to worry about small talk and getting to know one another over awkward first dates. When we had first started dating we mostly spent time in the bedroom. That was how we got to know each other, but I was not going to do the same with Jon. We were going to get to know each other the normal way.

"How's work for you, Beau?" he asked. He still hadn't picked up his menu and his stare was driving me crazy.

"Fine." I had no idea what I was going to order. I was trying to find the cheapest item on the menu, but even the least expensive things were too expensive in my eyes.

A brown haired waiter appeared by our table and said, "Hello, welcome to Blu Fin. My name is Travis and I'll be your server this afternoon. Can I start you off with a glass of wine or a beer?"

Jon asked for a beer and they discussed the options for a moment before the waiter turned to me. His polite smile changed a little bit when he got a good look at me.

"And what can I get you?" He asked with a flirty grin.

Jon narrowed his eyes as if he knew immediately what Travis was thinking. I gave a tight lipped smile, not wanting the man I was on a date with to start anything.

"Just a water, please," I said quietly.

He nodded with a smile. "I'll be right back with your drinks." He didn't even look back at Jon.

Travis walked away and I looked over at Jon who had a small scowl on his face.

Hoping to get his mind off that little incident, I said, "I have no idea what to order. Everything is so expensive, Jon."

"Stop worrying about that," he said sternly. I shivered at his tone. I wished I was able to stop worrying about money, but I didn't know if that was possible.

Harrison was never overly wealthy. He was able to pay everything for his bookstore, for the house, and some special things for me, but he was careful with his money. He tried to save as much as possible, but in the end it wasn't enough for me to live off of for very long. I was grateful for what he did leave me though.

"If you can't decide then I'll order for you. How about that?" Jon asked. I nodded quickly, looking down at the menu for lack of knowing what else to do. "Okay, good."

Travis returned with our drinks and asked if we were ready to order.

"Yes, we'll both be having the lobster and crab bake," Jon said and I could tell by his tone that he was already fed up with Travis.

"Alright, good choice." He wrote it down in the little notepad he carried and grabbed our menus. He seemed to linger for a moment and I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't look up. "Is there anything else I can get you right now?"

"No," Jon grunted and I heard the waiter leave shortly after that.

I looked up with a smile. "Jealous?"

"Well, why would he flirt with you when you're clearly on a date with me?" He asked with a frown.

"Is it that clear that we're on a date? You're old enough to be my father," I said and his frown deepened. "Maybe that's what he thinks."

I would have never been able to say something like that to Harrison. He would have been so insecure about it and probably made us leave the restaurant, but I knew Jon wouldn't do that.

Jon suddenly stood up from his chair and I wondered if I had been wrong in my assumption that he wouldn't be as insecure about our age difference as Harrison. But then he picked up his beer and came around to my side of the table. He sat in the chair next to mine and draped his arm across the back of chair.

"There," he said a smirk. "Do you think it's clear now?"

"Caveman," I muttered and he chuckled.

It was weird being in a relationship—if you could call it a relationship—like this with Jon. He did so many things that Harrison would have never done. He had shown some affection towards me when we were out places where we knew most of the people, like church. But anywhere else the closest thing we got to being loving with each other out in public was hand holding.

Jon didn't care about what people thought about us and I really liked that. Harrison's lack of affection towards me out in public had never bothered and I had completely understood his qualms about it, but it was refreshing to be with Jon and have him not worry about anyone else.

He drank his beer and I sipped at my water and when Travis came back with our food his eyes widened at first then his lips pursed. I looked over to see the smirk return to Jon's face.

"Caveman," I whispered.

"I Jon, Beau mine," he said, mimicking Tarzan and I couldn't help but laugh.

Travis set our food in front of us and didn't linger this time.

The food was actually delicious and I understood why it cost so much. I tried to stop worrying about money and just enjoy time with the man sitting next to me.

I felt my icy heart melt just a little more every time I was around him.

I thought soon it would be back to how it used to be.

I just prayed Harrison would have been happy for me.

___

After lunch, we immediately headed to go pick up my car.

Once we got to the mechanic shop, I was prepared to have an aneurism over how much the car was going to cost. But when we entered the office part of the shop, which was much cleaner that I anticipated, the man behind the counter just smiled at Jon and handed over the keys to my car.

Jon thanked him and used a hand on my back to guide me back out of the shop.

"But wait," I said as he started pushing me out the door. "How much? Aren't they going to charge me for anything?" I looked up at him with a confused expression.

"Don't worry about it, baby. I took care of it," he answered with a smile.

"What?" I asked with my eyebrows quickly drawing together. "Why? I could've..."

Jon looked at me with a pitying expression that I had hoped I would never see on his face. "I know you don't have any money, sweetheart. It's no big deal. I can handle to pay for the car."

I gritted my teeth and scowled up at him. "I do not need your charity!" I snatched the keys out of his hand. Maybe if I hadn't seen that look on his face I could've let this go and just say thank you. But it was that look. "Lunch was already too much and now this?" I shook my head and started stalking to my car.

"Beau!" He called after me.

"No!" I turned around quickly and pointed an accusing finger at him. "You don't get to treat me as if I'm broken." I let out a breath. "Maybe I am, but enough people treat me that way and I don't need it from you. I can take care of myself! I'll find a way to pay you back for the car. It may take awhile, but I will." He started to open is mouth to say something, but I said, "Goodbye, Jon," and opened the car door. I climbed in and slammed the door behind me.

I saw him looking at me with a shocked expression, but I ignored him and turned the car, putting it in reverse and pulling out of the small parking lot.

As I drove home, some of things I said ran through my head again.

"I can take care of myself!"

Who are you kidding, Beau? No you fucking can't. And you had finally found someone that could've helped you, but you were just too fucking proud.

I sighed, holding back tears.

I really liked Jon and, honestly, I did want him to take care of me. I had freaked out so much because that whole thing was just a reminder that I really couldn't take care of myself. I was like a twenty-five-year-old little boy. I could barely do anything for myself. I could hardly believe I could function on my own at all.

Tears started pouring down my cheeks. Suddenly, a car honked at me and I let out a loud sob.

The tires screeched as I pulled onto the side of the road quickly. Another car honked and then I was passed quickly by a whole line of them that had been driving behind me.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket quickly and dialed one of the first numbers on my most recents calls.

"Beau?" Jon answered.

"I'm sorry!" I wailed. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my sobs.

"Baby, it's alright," he said in a gentle tone. "Where are you? Are you still driving?"

"No, I pulled over," I answered hoarsely. I rubbed my eyes, attempting to stop crying as I glanced out the window to see where I was exactly so Jon could come get me.

When I saw what I had stopped directly in front of, I let out another quiet sob.

I was at the bookstore.

"I'll come get you. Where are you at, sweetheart?"

I was silent for a moment, getting my breathing under control as I stared at the dark bookstore with the empty parking lot.

"Do you know the bookstore on sixth?" I asked in a whisper.

"You mean..." he trailed off and then he asked, "Beau's Books?"

I could tell in his tone of voice that he now understood why the store had that name. He most likely didn't even know Harrison owned it until now.

I nodded slowly, but he couldn't see me. "Yeah," I said in a whisper again.

I heard him breathing on the other end of the line. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Stay right there."

I nodded again. "Okay." Then I hung up the phone.

I put the car in drive, made sure no one was behind me, then pulled up a little further to turn into the bookstore parking lot.

I looked up at the top of the car. "Of course you would bring me here now, wouldn't you?" I sighed, turned off the car. I leaned back in the seat and decided to wait for Jon to get here.

The keys in my hand taunted me. One was a different color than the rest, an old looking brass. It hadn't been used in awhile and it was like it was staring back at me as I looked at it.

"Fine," I said quietly and opened the car door.

I stepped out and starting my making my way to the doors slowly.