I unlocked the door to the bookstore for the first time since Harrison had died. I slowly walked into the dark store and went searching for the light switch. I hadn't been here in a long time, but I remembered where everything was from being here countless times in the last seven years.

I went behind the front counter and flipped the switch. The whole room lit up, showing the full bookshelves and empty tables. Everything looked to have a layer of dust on it and I was ashamed that I had let the store that Harrison loved sit in this state. The store had been his pride and joy. It had been called Harrison's Books for as long as he'd had it...until we got together.

He'd surprised me by having the name changed on our anniversary. It was a big deal because usually he wouldn't spend money on something like that when he had a perfectly good sign before, but he'd blindfolded me and brought me to the outside of the shop to show me the new sign.

I pretended to be a little annoyed with him at first because that was the only way I knew how to hide my embarrassment that he had gone through all that trouble just for me. He'd seen right through me though because of my red cheeks.

So for the last six years it had been Beau's Books. I hated passing by the bookstore when I was going around town because it was not only a reminder of Harrison, but also of how he had loved me so much that he changed the name of his store for me.

I looked around the store and within a few seconds some tears started trickling down my cheeks. I was getting really tired of crying.

I sighed and sat down in the chair that was set up at the front counter. I put my head in my hands and tried to get myself under control.

I felt like the presence of Harrison was everywhere here. This had been his whole life, it had been practically his whole being. The store meant everything to him and I had let it gather dust for months.

I wanted to run outside and never come back, but at the same, I wanted to stay and bask in the feeling of being close to Harrison once again. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think of one of the happiest moments with him.

___

I sat on the couch, my legs bouncing up and down anxiously. I turned around to peek through the blinds every couple seconds, but Harrison still wasn't home. My phone sat quiet on the coffee table even though I had called him twenty times now and called the store ten times.

I chewed on my lip and checked the time on my phone. He should have been home hours ago!

I wondered if I should call the police. It wasn't like Harrison to do this. I had been living with him for three months now, after it just became too much for me to travel all the way here every weekend to be with him. We'd only been dating for a month before I moved in, but it didn't feel too fast to either of us. My parents had both been against it because they thought Harrison was too old for me, but after just a few weeks of dating him I knew we fit together like two puzzle pieces. Harrison would never want me to say something so cheesy, but that's the way I felt.

And coming home late just wasn't like him. Sometimes I went to the bookstore with him and sometimes I stayed home with Sherlock. But today I had a few surprises planned and wanted to stay home to get them ready. I had no clue where he was though.

Tears started pouring down my face because I didn't know what to do. Harrison would have known what to do in a situation like this. He would know whether or not to call the police.

I heard the door unlocking and gasped, trying to get my breathing under control.

Harrison walked in and stopped with one hand on the door when he saw me in tears on the couch.

"Where have you been?!" I screamed, fists hitting the couch cushions.

He dropped his keys in the dish by the door and closed the door behind him. "Beau—"

"Where?! What have you been doing?! Fucking some other boy?! Huh?!"

He slowly came over and kneeled in front of me, hands on my knees. "Sweetheart, breath. It's alright."

I shook my head, snot dripping onto my lips which I frantically wiped away with my sleeve. "It's not alright! I've been calling! Your phone was turned off. Why? Why?!"

"Shh." He rubbed his hands back and forth on my thighs. I tried to calm down and frantically wiped my face.

I knew Harrison didn't like when I acted like this, but he was being much calmer than he usually was when I had an 'immature outburst'. Normally he would have already had me bent over his knees by now.

I was about to ask where he had been again, but calmer this time, when he began talking.

"Today's my birthday. I'm...fifty," he said, not looking me in the eyes.

"I know." I sniffled. "I baked you a cake."

He looked up with a curious expression. "You did?"

"It's probably not very good," I admitted.

"I'm sure it'll be great," he said with a slight smile.

"Don't lie," I said, giggling.

He smiled wider. "Alright. It'll probably taste horrible, but I'm going to eat it anyways."

A grin split my face and I touched his cheek lightly. My expression became serious again and I said, "You still didn't tell me where you've been."

He sighed. "I took the day off. I went around town and just...thought about stuff, the last fifty years of my life." He ran a hand through his graying hair. "Today it really sank in how much older I am than you. And it...scared me."

"Scared you?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "You mean so much to me, Beau, but I'm worried that you're wasting the best years of your life with me. You don't get to mess around and go to parties, be a kid. There's guys out there that are your age that you could fall in love with, get married to, and have kids with. You know I don't want to get married and you know I don't want kids. I feel like I'm holding you back."

Tears had started to fall again as I heard his words and looked at his serious expression. "Are you breaking up with me?" I whimpered.

His mouth fell open. "No, sweetheart, no." He rubbed my knee soothingly. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't see why you're wasting your time with an old guy like me."

I scowled and punched his shoulder. "Don't say that. I'm not wasting my time. I don't want a guy my age. I don't care about getting married or having kids. I just want to be with you. I love you."

"You do?" He asked with a surprised expression.

"Yes, you idiot!" I exclaimed.

"I love you too," he admitted.

I leaned forward and kissed him hard on the lips. I pulled away and gave him my most serious expression. "Don't do that again, okay? I was worried sick. I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere."

He chuckled and got up to sit on the couch next to me. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

I crawled into his lap and huffed. "I'm never getting rid of you. You're stuck with me."

"Good. Because you're stuck with me." He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me.

Later we ate the cake I made and it was just as terrible as we both predicted. But like he said he would, Harrison ate it anyways. I vowed to never make a cake again though and he agreed to splurge and only buy them from now on.

We made love and the whole awful day was forgotten. Everything was perfect. I was with my soulmate and I had no intention of ever letting him go.

____

The bell above the door chimed and I whipped my head around, coming out of my daydream and feeling like I had transported back in time to when I had first heard that bell.

"Baby?" Jon said as he walked inside.

The door shut quietly behind him and I piped up from behind the counter. "I'm here."

His expression was a kind of worried I had never seen on him before. "Baby," he said and came over to kneel in front of me, hands on my knees. "Are you okay? Do you want me to take you home?"

I wiped my nose that had started to run and shook my head. "I just want to stay here for a little bit longer."

"Okay, okay." He nodded and reached his hand up to run it across my cheek. "Do you want me to give some time alone?"

I shook my head again. "No. You can stay."

He smiled. "Alright. Can I pull up a chair?" He asked and I nodded. He went over to one of the tables and grabbed a chair. He placed it next to mine and sat down.

After he was settled I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, baby."

"No, it was stupid what I did. I don't have any money. Like at all. I barely have enough to feed myself and pay for toilet paper and stuff." I sighed. "I shouldn't have snapped like that. You were only trying to help."

He took my hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand soothingly. "I'm sorry for taking such a big step like that without talking to you. Paying for lunch is one thing, but paying for your car is a whole different thing and I should have known that." I shook my head and tried to argue, but he squeezed my hand. "I really, really like you, Beau. More than I've liked anyone in a long time. And I'm going to wait for as long as you want me too, but until then, will you let me help you?"

I started sobbing, covering my face with both my hands. I wailed as Jon wrapped his arm around me and held me as best as he could.

"Shh, baby. It's okay. It's okay."

I buried my face in his neck and tried to calm down. He rubbed my back and it reminded me of something Harrison would do when I was upset. I whimpered and pulled away, wiping my face. I probably looked like a complete mess.

"I—" I took a deep breath. "I do need help, Jon. I need a lot of help." I hid my face behind my hair, but he just tucked it behind my ear and used a finger under my chin to turn my head to him.

"I will gladly help you, Beau. Anything that you need."

I let out a shaky, relieved breath.

He smiled and I forced a smile back.

Everything was going to be okay. I had Jon to help me now. He wouldn't let me drown in my sorrows and debt anymore.

I swallowed and leaned my head up, lightly kissing him on the lips. I pulled away before it could go any further.

He blinked rapidly, looking like I caught him completely off guard.

I smiled at his expression. He grinned at me and kissed the top of my head.

"Everything's going to be okay now, Beau," he said against my hair. "I promise."

I completely, wholeheartedly believed him.

I relaxed for first time since Harrison's death. I let Jon hold me and let the knowledge that everything was going to just fine sink in.