I sluggishly walked to my front door, Jon trailing behind me. It was only four thirty, but I felt exhausted.  I unlocked the door and let Jon in behind me. He locked the door back up for me, for some reason he already knew that I hated being in the house with the door unlocked. Harrison had thought it was weird, but he had always made sure the door was locked too.

I collapsed onto the couch and before I could stop it, Jon was pulling me into his arms. He practically sat me in his lap and he was holding me tightly, but I didn't try to get away. I placed my head on his shoulder and sighed.

"I'm here if you want to talk about anything. I'm a surprisingly good listener," he said against the top of my head.

I sighed again and snuggled into him further. "Not right now."

"When you're ready."

I nodded, but I was already drifting off to sleep.

When I woke up, I noticed that neither of us had moved much at all. I rubbed my eyes and mumbled, "Sorry I feel asleep."

There was no reply from Jon and I frowned, looking up at him, only to find his head tipped back against the back of the couch with his mouth open and snoring quietly.

I couldn't help but smile and I rested my head against his chest again. He slept awhile longer and I just relaxed in his arms.

I knew he was awake when he yawned and squeezed me tighter. I looked up at him so he would know I was awake too.

"Hello, sleeping beauty," he said with that familiar grin.

"Hey, you fell asleep too." I poked his rock hard stomach.

"I couldn't help it. You're so soft and cuddly and warm." He pushed his nose into my hair and I could feel him smiling.

I pushed against him, pretending to struggle. But he only held me tighter. That made me smile, feeling safe in his arms, knowing that he wouldn't let me go.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"I guess." I hadn't really eaten much at the party.

"I'll order some food. Do you want Chinese or pizza?"

"Chinese." I couldn't remember the last time I had Chinese food and it sounded delicious. "Make sure you get sweet and sour pork."

"You got it, baby," he said as he started pulling his phone out of his pocket.

My cheeks turned pink. "Don't call me that."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I forced myself to frown at him, but he began smiling widely. "You like it."

"No, I don't." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Yes, you do. Admit it." He started trying to tickle my side. I shoved him away, but he grabbed me again. "Okay, you don't have to admit it right now. But I won't stop calling you that because I know that you really like it. Baby." He smirked.

I glared to cover up my smile. Harrison had a few pet names for me, but he had never called me baby. I was a little ashamed at how much I liked it.

I had to get off Jon's lap so he could get his phone to order the food. He got sweet and sour pork like I asked and a lot of other stuff. There would be tons of leftovers. After he hung up, he pulled me back into his lap and I turned on the tv.

I tried to focus on the tv as he ran his fingers through my hair. He whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

I turned pink again. I was surprised that he was actually asking and not just molesting me without my permission. But I think he knew how fragile I was already. He was pursuing me, but he didn't want to scare me away. I shook my head.

"Will you let me kiss you eventually?"

"Maybe," I said and continued to watch the episode of Chopped that was on. We both knew that I would let him kiss me eventually. I was done trying to deny my feelings for him.

He kissed the side of my head and I punched him in the stomach. That somehow turned into him tickling me to death until I couldn't breathe.

"Please! Please stop!" I gasped through painful laughter.

He finally let up, but positioned me back on his lap so that I was straddling his legs. He pushed my hair back from my face as I tried to catch my breath. I knew he wanted to kiss me, I could tell by the look in his eyes, but I still wasn't ready. Instead, he cupped my cheeks and gave me a pleased expression.

"I've never heard you laugh before," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you used some horrible tactics to get it out of me. I hate being tickled!"

He smiled widely and for the first time I noticed how close we truly were. I studied his face and took in the wrinkles around his eyes and the scruff on his jaw (which I loved). For the first time I noticed the gray hairs around his temples and ears. How had I not noticed that before?

I looked away to hide my frown. He tried to turn my face to look at him again, but I pushed his hand away. Instead I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face against his shoulder.

I guess it was easy to forget that Jon was actually twenty-one years older than me. He wasn't all stuffy and serious like Harrison was. Jon acted carefree most of the time, like he had everything all figured out and nothing bothered him. He laughed and smiled a lot...he was nothing like Harrison and that had made me forget that even if we did get together I would never have as much time with him as I wanted. Even if he lived passed the age Harrison did and ended up dying of old age, he would still end up leaving me alone. I would be old, but I would be all alone again. Was that something I could handle?

And what if he didn't die of old age? My mind nagged me. What if he died like Harrison did?

Before I knew it, I was making pathetic whimpering and sniffling noises and some tears were soaking into Jon's shirt. The sounds I was making immediately alerted him to my distress and he tried to get me to show him my face.

"Beau? Beau, what's wrong?" He asked frantically and I let out a sob. I wouldn't move my face from his shoulder. "Why are you crying, sweetheart? Talk to me."

Through a pitiful sob I wailed, "I don't want you to die!"

I became a blubbering mess and he ran his hands over my back, but he was quiet for a moment.

When he spoke, it was serious and concerned. "I'm not going to die, baby. I promise."

"No!" I hit his chest. "You can't make that promise! You don't know! You're old, you could die tomorrow!" I wiped my nose as snot dripped down. "You could go to store to buy me soup because I was faking sick to get attention and you could have a heart attack in the aisle at the grocery store."

My sobs turned into pitiful hiccups and tried my best not to drench Jon's shirt in snot. He was rubbing his hands all over me in a comforting way, but he wasn't saying anything. Maybe I had finally said enough to scare him away.

He rested his cheek against the top of my head and just held me for awhile as my sobs and hiccups subsided.

He still hadn't said anything and I chewed on my lip. I said, "I need to clean myself up," and tried to pull away from him, but he held on tightly.

"Hold on. I don't want you going anywhere just yet." His tone was gentle, but commanding. I yeilded and fell back into his arms. "Can you look at me now, please?"

"I'm all gross," I mumbled, trying to wipe my face with the collar of my shirt.

"I don't care about that, just look at me, Beau."

I swallowed and turned my face to look up at him. He didn't have that pitying look that I got so often now. His expression was understanding and serious, but not pitying.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, sweetheart," he said and I slanted my eyes away. He touched my cheek to get me to look back at him, which I did reluctantly. "I'm sorry that happened, but that's not what's going to happen with us. That's a terrible thing that happened, but it doesn't mean it will happen again. I'm perfectly healthy-"

"Harrison was healthy. He didn't have anything health problems," I interjected.

Jon nodded. "Then that was just bad luck. But it's not going to happen again."

"How do you know?" I whispered.

He opened his mouth to answer me, and that's when the doorbell rang.

I had forgotten all about our dinner.

I stood up to answer the door, but Jon stood quickly and pushed me back to the couch. I stayed put and watched him answer the door, talking to the deliverer politely and taking out his wallet to pay. He was then handed two bags full of takeout boxes and said goodbye before closing the door with his foot.

"Do you want to sit at the table?" he asked.

"Can we sit here?" I asked, wanting to eat and maybe find a movie to watch.

"Of course." He came over and set the bags on the coffee table.

I quickly hopped off the couch. "I'll get plates and drinks!"

I went to the kitchen and wiped my face some more to make sure there was no snot dripping down my chin and then reached for some plates. I turned to see Jon had followed me into the kitchen.

"What do you have to drink?" he asked.

"There's some iced tea in the fridge." I opened a drawer to grab some silverware and when I looked back he was studying the pictures on the fridge door. I knew he'd already seen them, but it was hard to see him staring at them. I swallowed and stepped up beside him. "That's Harrison," I said quietly.

Jon looked down at me. "You look very happy." I nodded, but couldn't manage a smile. "Will you tell me about him sometime?"

I let out a breath. "Sometime." I had to walk away before I broke down again. I carried the plates and silverware to the coffee table and it wasn't long before Jon followed with two bottles of iced tea.

After a little convincing, I got him to sit on the floor with me. We had our backs up against the couch and our feet under the coffee table. He dished us both up huge plates of food as I found something to watch on tv. Eventually I put on some vampire movie that I had never seen and tore into my food.

I knew that our serious conversation had been cut short, but for now, I just relaxed, ate good food, and enjoyed Jon's company.

I was really getting used to having him around. He already wormed his way under my skin.

At one point, he found me staring at him and he quickly leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. I shoved him playfully and turned back to my  food and the bad vampire movie.

I could get used to this.

---

After the bad vampire movie was over, I put on a romantic comedy that was on another channel. We were both finished with our food so I had snuggled up to Jon and he had his arm wrapped around me.

We were both laughing at a stupid joke in the movie when his phone rang. He picked it up off the coffee table and slightly frowned at it. I perked up a little bit and tilted my face up from where it was resting on his shoulder and looked at him as he answered.

"Hello?...I'm kind of busy right now...No, I know that." He looked more annoyed than I've ever seen him as he talked to the person on the other line. "Well I'm with someone right now." He ran his hand up and down my arm as I chewed on my lip. "I don't see how that's fair." He scowled.

I didn't like what this mysterious caller was bringing out in him. This wasn't the carefree Jon I had come to know. Who could he be talking to?

"You expect me to just-...Don't interrupt me," he growled. I shuddered at his tone, but I ran a soothing hand over his chest. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head, telling me that everything was okay. "You always do this...Oh, no, I'll be there, since you're fucking useless. Goodbye." He hung up and I thought he might slam his phone on the table, but he just gripped it tightly.

"Everything okay?" I piped up quietly.

He turned to me with a smile on his face, completely covering up his anger from a moment ago. "Everything's fine, baby." He kissed my forehead.

I had to ask. "Who was that?"

"Don't worry about that right now." He rubbed my back. "But I have to go," he said as began to stand up, "Let me help you clean up first."

I jumped up. "No, no! I got it." I smiled and grabbed the empty plates before he could. "Just go take care of whatever you need to." He smiled down at me and then I followed him over to the door.

"I'll come by tomorrow so we can get your car. I'll take you out to lunch, someplace nice." He bent down to kiss my cheek.

"You don't have to take me anywhere!" I exclaimed. For whatever reason I guess we were both past the part where I wouldn't go on a date with him. I suppose if you cry in a man's arm enough times you're obligated to let him take you out.

"I want to and I will." He smirked.

"Fine. Whatever." I pretended to act a little annoyed. "I'll see you tomorrow." I felt like I could, so I stood on my tiptoes and pecked him on the cheek right back. That caused him to smile so wide I thought his face might break.

"Bye, Beau." He was smiling but he wasn't leaving, so I started pushing him out the door, plates still in my hand. "Call you tomorrow!" he yelled before I slammed the door shut.

I let out a huge breath and put my back against the door. What a long, eventful day.

Was I like...dating Jon now?

I looked up at the ceiling to talk to the big man upstairs. "Can you possibly...tell Harrison not to be mad at me? Please?...Amen?" I frowned. That probably wasn't right. I'd never been very good at praying.

I brought the dirty dishes to the sink and quickly cleaned up the takeout boxes on the coffee table, putting the leftovers in the fridge. I had enough energy to wash the dishes before turning in for the night, so I started scrubbing.

I started thinking about Jon's phone call again. I thought it was really weird. I'd never heard him get so angry. Who could he have been talking to and where did he have to go?

What if he was in the mob?

Holy shit.

My eyes widened.

What if he was in the mob!?

What if he'd just gotten a order to go kill someone? That was totally plausible, right?

I shook my head. Don't my dumb, Beau. Of course he's not in the mob. But I chewed on my lip, still not convinced.

I dried the dishes and put them away before checking to make sure the door was locked, turning off the tv and all the lights downstairs.

I went upstairs and tucked myself into bed and played on my phone for awhile. I was just thinking of trying to sleep finally when my phone rang.

It was Jon.

"Hello?" I answered, slightly concerned that he was calling me.

"Hey," he said, a smile in his voice. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay and you got into bed."

"Yes, I'm fine and I was just about to go to sleep," I said, then blurted out, "Are you in the mob?"

There was a second of silence before he busted out laughing. "No! What on earth would make you think that, Beau?"

"You got a mysterious phone call and had to leave suddenly. Sounded like you needed to go kill someone."

He continued to laugh, then he chuckled quietly. "I really like you, Beau."

My heart beat a little faster and I could feel my cheeks becoming warm. "I, uh, like you too."

Suddenly I heard loud cheering in the background and my eyebrows scrunched together. Where was he?

"We'll go slow, okay?" he said, distracting me. "I don't want to scare you away."

I whispered, "Okay."

"Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Beau."

I put my phone down on the nightstand and curled up under the covers.

So Jon wasn't in the mob, but as I thought about our conversation I realized he hadn't cleared up where he really was. Did that bother me? I wasn't sure. We didn't know each other that well, we still had lots of secrets and would get to find out more about each other over time. But he still could've told me where he was, right? There was obviously a noisy crowd in the background, so it didn't seem like it should be a suspicious activity.

I told myself to push all these thoughts away for now and try to sleep. I was seeing Jon again tomorrow and I needed rest.

That was the first night that I didn't have a single nightmare since Harrison's death.

---

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