Time seemed to be moving so quickly. Sometimes it seemed like it was just yesterday when I met Jon, but in reality it had been months.

It was weird to think about how much my life had changed since I met him. He had helped me in so many ways. At first I had thought it was so wrong to start caring for another man after Harrison died, but I was realizing it had really been the best thing for me

I wasn't good on my own. Maybe it would've been healthier for me to learn how to stand on my own two feet, but Jon made me feel so good, so safe, that I couldn't stay away from him.

We were sitting in his truck after we had packed the last few boxes of things from the house. It was done. I was completely moved out. Almost everything was in storage now.

I stared at the house, feeling very, very sad but also hopeful at the same time.

"Beau," Jon started. I turned to him, putting a small smile on my face. "I know the plan was for you to get your own apartment," he said, reaching for my hand. "And it's your choice...but I would really love it if you moved in with me."

My mouth dropped open a little and I wasn't sure what to think.

I had been seeing Jon for more than a few months now and I had only seen Harrison a few months before I moved in with him...but was it a good idea to do that again?

"I know it's fast," he continued. "But I really care about you, Beau. Our relationship doesn't have to go any further than it has just because we're living together...I just love taking care of you...Please let me take care of you."

I whimpered and dove into his arms, burying my face in his neck.

When he put it that way, I couldn't say no.

"Yes," I whispered against his skin. "I'll move in with you."

"Thanks, baby," he said, kissing my head.

I was the one that should be thanking him. He was the one that had done so much for me all these months. It was unbelievable how much he had put up with. I was broken, but he was slowly putting me back together again.

I pulled away and he kissed my nose.

I smiled, blushing.

"I want to go in one last time," I said, talking about the house. "Just to say goodbye."

He nodded. "Do you want me to go with you?"

I shook my head and I knew he would understand that perfectly.

I got out of the truck and slowly walked up to the house. I opened the door and closed it behind me. It was empty now, but it still felt like home to me.

It probably always would. I had spent the best years of my life here.

I wrapped my arms around myself and looked around the living room.

I breathed deeply, willing myself not to cry.

I played with the ring that was still on my finger and said a short goodbye to the house in my head, then I turned to leave.

Closing the door behind me for the last time.

I got back into Jon's truck and I just nodded at him, letting him know that I was ready to leave. He pulled out of the drive without a word.

I stared out the window and let a few tears fall. It wasn't that I wasn't ready to leave—I was.

But this was a big step in letting go of Harrison.

I worried that one day there would be a time where I went a whole day without thinking about him.

I cared about Jon. More than cared about him.

But I could never forget about Harrison. I couldn't let myself.

Jon reached for my hand and I turned away from the window, letting him hold my hand in his.

The ache in my heart eased.

______

One Month Later

I was really enjoying living with Jon. Nothing had changed in our relationship other than the fact that we were living together. That meant that I slept in the same bed as him and we fooled around, but we still hadn't actually fucked. I didn't know what was stopping us. He would rim me or finger me and we would give each other blow jobs, but his cock hadn't gotten close to my hole yet.

I was watching tv when I got a phone call from Jon and I quickly picked it up. "Hey! I was going to order dinner soon. When are you going to be home?"

He groaned. "I'm really busy at work and I'm going to be here late. I need to ask you a favor."

"Um ok."

"Will you pick up Ethan from his baseball game?" He asked hesitantly.

I didn't say anything at first. I liked Ethan. I saw him a few days a week when he spent the night at the house, but I had never spent much time alone with him.

And picking him up from his game...that was so parental.

"Sure," I finally said.

"Thanks, baby," he sounded grateful. "I'll let you know when I'm leaving work. Love you!"

And then he hung up.

I slowly took the phone away from my face and stared at it.

Did he just say...?

I shook my head.

He didn't mean it. It was just an automatic response to someone when you cared about them and were getting off the phone with them. I mean that was a plot in a lot of shows and movies. It happened all the time.

It didn't mean anything, I told myself again.

We hadn't said those words to each other yet and Jon knew it was a big deal. It was just an accident.

I thought he might call me back and apologize for the way he ended the call, but he must have never realized it because the phone was quiet.

I sighed, snapping myself out of this daze.

I needed to pick up Ethan, I couldn't worry about this right now.

I pushed those words to the back of my mind and got up from the couch.

Don't over think it, Beau.

______

As I waited in the parking lot at Ethan's school, I was hoping that Jon told him I was picking him up. It would be weird if he didn't. I cared a lot about Ethan—more than I expected to—but the age thing got weird a couple times.

No matter how serious I got with Jon, I didn't want to start acting like Ethan's parent. It wasn't fair since he already had two and he especially didn't need to be parented by a twenty-five-year-old.

Suddenly, the car door opened and Ethan said, "Hey, B." I smiled at the nickname and waved while he slid into the car.

"How was the game?" I asked as I did my routine, checking all the mirror incessantly before putting the car in reverse. "Seatbelt, please," I said.

Ethan clipped his seatbelt in. "It was good. We won, so that's always good."

"Congrats," I told him, smiling over at him and then focused on the road again.

"Thanks."

We fell into a comfortable silence after that. I never felt awkward around Ethan, at least after that first day so I wasn't sure why I was wary of picking him up.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked out of nowhere.

"Yeah, of course."

He paused and then just came out with it, "How did you know you were gay?"

I was little shocked by the question, but I responded quickly. "I always kind of knew. I had my first crush on a boy when I was like five. And it was pretty obvious to my parents from the beginning."

"Oh," he said, sounding disappointed.

I glanced over at him, worried. He was looking down at his hands in his lap.

I chewed on my lip. Was he trying to say that he was...?

"Why haven't you asked your dad about this?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I can't. I'd be too embarrassed. Dad was like a...fuckboy growing up. He wouldn't understand."

I giggled a little. Ethan gave me an amused look.

I smiled over at him before focusing on the road again. "Why don't you tell me what's been going on?"

He sighed. "It's my friend. My best friend. I don't know...I just don't look at him as just a friend. I don't think about girls at all, I just think about him. I could never tell him. My heart will just end up broken."

My eyebrows drew together. "There's no way your friend feels the same way?"

He gave me a devastated look. "No, definitely not. He would hate me if he knew."

"I'm sure he wouldn't, Ethan. Not if he's your best friend."

He just shook his head.

Soon we were pulling up to the house.

"Why don't you invite him over sometime. I have pretty good gaydar," I told him. He gave me a suspicious look. "Or are you too embarrassed to be seen with your dad and me?" I parked in the driveway.

"Well, you guys are kind of embarrassing sometimes."

"Then I have accomplished something in life."

Ethan laughed. That seemed to bring him out of his poor mood and I was glad I could take his mind off it.

His smile fell a little and then he said, "Don't tell my dad."

I touched his shoulder. "I won't."

"Thanks," he said, looking grateful.

"You can always talk to me, Ethan," I told him.

"Thanks, B."

I smiled, lip quivering a tiny bit.

And then I reached over the console, bringing him into a tight hug. He laughed, hugging me back.

"Just don't do this in front of my friend, okay?"

"No promises," I said as I squeezed him.

He grumbled but squeezed me back.

______

A week later I was at the bookstore, trying to get organized.

It would be a little while before I could open the store, but I was trying to get acquainted with the way Harrison kept track of everything and figure out what I would need to do in order to open back up again.

Jon had come with me the first two times I came back to the bookstore to start working on it, but this time I was alone because he had to work.

He hadn't seemed to notice he had told me he loved me on the phone last week. Either that or he was pretending like it didn't happen so I wouldn't freak out.

I didn't know how I felt about that. Did I want him to say it again? I just didn't know.

Everything at the bookstore was covered in a layer of dust and I was ashamed I had let the place sit untouched for so long. Harrison had loved this place and I couldn't believe I had treated it this way.

I was looking in folders in the back office, but mostly all of his paperwork made no sense to me at all. I would definitely need someone here to tell me what all these numbers meant. If I was going to open this store again, then I would need to know these things.

I opened another folder, sighing, and a piece of paper dropped out. It fell to the floor and I set the folder down on the desk to pick it up.

When I stood with the paper in my hands, my heart stopped.

It read, Dear Beau.

I was so scared that I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see anymore words. Did I want to read this right now?

I didn't have Jon here to support me when I eventually broke down into wracking sobs...but I needed to read it.

I opened my eyes and slowly read the letter.

Dear Beau,

Well, I know the only reason you would be looking in here or any other accounting folder is because I'm dead. You wouldn't go near them otherwise.

I'm sorry, sweetheart. I probably left you sooner than either one of us would have wanted. But I'm sure we had a great life together, didn't we?

I hope I proposed to you in a great and extravagant way because as I'm writing this letter I still can't figure out how I'm going to do it. How was our wedding? I bet you looked beautiful.

I'm guessing you're back at the bookstore because you either want to close the place or you're working on getting it back open. And I wanted you to know, that either is fine with me. If you can't handle working here without me then I completely understand, sweetheart. I know I was rough and bossy most of the time, but you knew I loved you more than anything and I just want you to be happy.

And I hope you know that means you can't stop living your life. Go out and meet people. Make new friends. And if that means you meet another man, then I'm happy for you. I just hope he loves you as much as I do. I want you to be taken care of. I want you to be happy.

Live your life, Beau. Don't do things just because you think it's what I would've wanted.

I love you. Always remember that.

Love,

Harrison

I set the letter back on the desk and sat down in the chair, curling in on myself.

I let some tears fall but I didn't cry as hard as I thought I was going to.

This is what I had always wanted. A last goodbye.

Harrison had died so suddenly that I never found out anything he wanted to happen after he was dead. And I had lived my life trying to assume what he would have wanted.

He wanted me to be happy and I had always been unsure of that. I realized that was stupid now. Of course he wanted me to be happy. He loved me and he didn't want me to suffer through the rest of my life.

This changed a lot for me.

I knew I still wanted to reopen the bookstore, but now I knew there was something else I had to do.

I wiped the tears off my face and got up.

I wasn't letting fear of what Harrison might think keep me from what I really wanted anymore.

He wanted what was best for me.

I really should have known that all along.

__________

It was later in the evening and I was waiting for Jon to get home from work. He said he wouldn't be home too late tonight, but I was getting antsy.

It was around five pm when I heard his car pull into the driveway. I could tell by the way his brakes squeaked. He really needed to get that fixed.

As soon as I heard him opening the front door, I lit the candles on the dining room table. He walked further into the house and spotted me right away.

He had a huge smile on his face. "What's this, baby?"

I went to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before guiding him over to the table. "I got us dinner. I was going to lie and say I made it, but I knew you wouldn't believe that. Just have a seat and I'll get the food."

He looked happy but a little shocked. And I vowed to myself that I needed to do more nice things for him, so he wouldn't be so surprised like this.

He sat down while I went into the kitchen and dished the pasta I ordered and picked up onto two plates. I put the garlic bread on a plate as well and brought the food out to the table.

Jon continued to smile and I said, "One more thing!" I ran and got the champagne from the fridge and brought it back to the table.

"Um," I said, "You'll have to open it because I'm a little scared."

He chuckled. "Champagne? Really? What's the special occasion?"

I gave him a shy smile. "I can't treat my man to something special for no reason?" I sat down.

He took the bottle from me and popped it open. I shrieked a little and he laughed.

He began pouring us both glasses as he said, "I guess you can. I'm just surprised."

I took a sip of my champagne and watched him as he took a drink of his.

"We didn't toast to anything," he said.

I smiled. "That's okay." I then played with Harrison's ring that I was now wearing on a chain around my neck.

Jon's eyes went to it right away. He looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he should. Instead of speaking, he looked at the food in front of him and said, "You got our favorite."

"Mm hmm," I said with a wide smile.

He started digging into the food and I began eating as well, barley taking my eyes off him.

I played with the ring a lot. I had gone to a store in the mall and picked out a chain that went well with it and I was happy with the way it looked. I wished Jon had said something, but I understood why he thought it might be a touchy subject.

It was hard for me to eat because of what I planned to do. I didn't know how to go about it and it was making me extremely nervous.

"This is so good," Jon said as he continued eating. He must have noticed that I was picking at my food because he gave me a curious look. "Everything okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "It's perfect." I stared at him and he stared at me. Suddenly I blurted out, "I love you, Jon." I put my fingers to my lips, nervously playing with them after I said it.

After reading Harrison's letter, I knew I needed to tell him that. I had been putting it off for so long. Almost believing that if I told Jon how I felt then I would somehow be betraying Harrison. But I knew how crazy that was now.

Jon was quiet for a moment and then he smiled widely. "I know you do, baby." I scowled and hit him. He laughed. "And I love you too!" Then he grabbed my hand, becoming more serious and looking me right in the eyes. "I loved you the first second I laid eyes on you." I gasped a little, smiling tentatively. "I knew I had to get to know you. I hadn't believed in love at first sight until I saw you. I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. No relationship I have ever been in has ever felt as right as being with you does," he told me and my lip trembled. "Beau, I'm not going to ask you now...I'm not going to ask you until I know you're ready, but I am going to ask you to marry me. Would you like that?"

I bit my lip before nodding quickly. "Yes." I couldn't help the tears that fell down my cheeks.

Jon moved from his seat to wrap his arms around me. He kissed my cheek and I moved my lips to his.

"Make love to me," I whispered. "Please."

I didn't need to say anything else because he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I kissed him as he walked us towards the bedroom. I tangled my fingers in his hair, kissing him as hard as I could.

Next thing I knew, I was being dropped carefully onto the bed. Jon started taking my clothes off and I was naked within thirty seconds. He got his clothes off quickly too and then he moved onto the bed.

I reached over and handed him the lube and condom I had ready on the pillow.

He couldn't help my laugh. "You planned everything didn't you?"

I nodded and pulled him down to kiss me again. Our hardening cocks rubbed together and I gasped against his lips.

It wasn't that I was sex starved. We fooled around most days and always got each other off, but I wanted to be connected with him now more than anything. I needed him inside me, all of him.

He coated his fingers with lube before slowly slipping one inside me. I whined because I wanted this to move faster, but I also wanted to go slow. I was really torn.

"You're so gorgeous, baby," he said as I writhed on his finger.

"More, Daddy, please," I moaned.

He added another finger without being asked a second time. He touched my prostate over and over. It was pure torture but felt so wonderful.

He began stroking my cock, but I quickly said, "No!" He stopped immediately. "I'll come too fast if you do that. I want to make it last."

He nodded, eyes clouded with lust. He leaned forward and sucked on one of nipples as he continued to finger me. He started moving his fingers in and out faster. I cried as he bit down on my nipple.

He started kissing lower. His tongue swirled around my navel and then he kissed my hipbones.

"More," I whined again.

He added a third finger and moved them all against my prostate.

My cock was painfully hard as it rested against my stomach, leaking precome. I could see that Jon was rock hard too, but he hadn't touched himself at all. Maybe he knew he would come too quickly as well if he did.

After what seemed like agonizingly long foreplay, Jon said, "I have to be inside you, baby."

I moaned. "Yes, Daddy. Please."

He took his fingers out of me and got situated more comfortably between my legs. He grabbed the condom and tore it open, quickly sliding it onto is dick.

He then pushed my legs back and I held onto them as he lined his cock up with my hole.

I bit my lip in anticipation and let out a little grunt as the head slipped in.

He lowered himself on top of me and his cock slipped further inside me. I let go of my legs and wrapped them around him. He began kissing me as he slowly thrusted his cock.

I was so happy that we had finally gotten to this point.

It had been a long time coming, but I was glad that we waited. Tonight was special. I had finally told him that I loved him and it was so wonderful to be able to show each other how much we loved each other with our bodies.

I wanted him to go faster and harder, but going slow was okay tonight. We had the rest of our lives to spend together. He could fuck me harder the next day and the day after that.

His cock brushed my prostate and I let out a whimper.

His tongue moved against mine and I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him as close to me as he could possibly be.

There was no separation between our bodies. We were completely connected.

"I love you, baby," he said and kissed my cheeks. "You feel so fucking good around my cock."

I whined as he began thrusting a little harder. It was still slow, but he put a but more power behind his thrusts.

"I love you," I told him.

He began kissing my neck. I ran my fingernails along his back and moaned when he bit the juncture between my neck and shoulder.

"I'm going to come," I said, breathing heavily.

"Then come," he said.

"I don't want it to be over," I said.

"You know we can do this many more times. Come for me, baby."

I still tried to hold off my orgasm until he began stroking my cock. I moaned and threw my head back as he moved his hand quickly.

I cried out as I climaxed and shot come all over my stomach.

I panted as Jon thrusted a few more times inside me and came himself.

One day, I wouldn't make him wear a condom and I would feel him come inside me. But we had all the time in the world for that.

He fell on top of me and I wrapped my arms around him.

"You're amazing, Beau," he said, breathily heavily.

I kissed the side of his head. "Not as amazing as you."

"Agree to disagree," he groaned.

I giggled. "Okay...we didn't even eat our food."

"This was much better. We can heat it up anyways."

I nodded and he moved off of me. He took the condom off, tying it closed and threw it on the ground. He then quickly pulled me close when he was laying beside me.

He played with the chain around my neck and I smiled at him.

"What made all this happen?" He asked.

I continued to smile and then I kissed him. "I'll tell you later. For now, just cuddle with me."

"I can do that," he said with a grin.

And that was what we did for most of the night.

We heated our food back up and brought it and the champagne into the bedroom where we cuddled, ate, and drank. Jon put on a movie, but we were too busy talking and eating and touching each other to pay any attention at all.

We laughed and kissed and told each other that we loved each other about a million times.

It was the best night of my life.

And I didn't feel guilty one bit about that fact.

Harrison wanted me to move on and so I did.

I wished he could have met Jon. He might have hated him, but maybe they would've gotten along.

But either way, I knew that Harrison was looking down at me from heaven and I knew that he approved.

Jon was the second love of my life.

I knew now that it was okay to have more than one.

__________

Hey, everyone! Long time, no update!

Sorry about that!

There's only a couple chapters of Lost and Found left, so I'm really going to try to post them quickly and not make you wait another month for it!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I may have made myself cry while writing this. YET AGAIN. I don't know how I do it, but I do. Such a weirdo. haha!

Anyways, I hope you have a good day or night, wherever you are in the world!