Days have turned into month and the void created inside me is still there haunting me in the dark hours when I lay awake concerning on Wali's breathing pattern or sometime his heartbeat's rhythm, they help me stay sane, in past one month I have found myself more closer to Him too, He never burdens a soul more than it can bear, I know I'll find my solace because He would never return me helpless, He is Ar-Raheem he would never do that. His mercy is also the reason why every single day Wali and I hold on to each other, every day from past one month we are mending our broken pieces, the cracks are visible but after all light seeps in from the wounds.

Putting aside the dough for the dinner I turned towards the stove where Wali's favorite capsicum filled mince were cooking, satisfied with its condition I turned off the stove and turned back to prepare bread for the dinner. Half an hour later after being done with the work I wiped a thin layer of sweat accumulated on my forehead, walking towards the living room I picked up my dupatta and placing it on my shoulder I slowly made my way towards the stairs, today I got back earlier than Wali but then again we are coming separately from past one month, he has immensely involved himself in work, he has been keeping himself busy in one way or another, though we are moving forward but we still don't have enough strength to be in front of each other like we were used to, there is something lost and the two of us are in search of it.

Getting inside our bedroom I turned on the lights and went towards bed cleaning the messed up sheets I made my way towards the closet, in dire need of a shower I picked up a turquoise colored printed kameez shalwar and then entered the washroom. Putting my fresh dress on the hangers I peeled off from my sweaty ones and went under the shower, as I traced my hands across my face I felt my eyes burning with tears like they have been every day whenever I am alone here, I keep going back to the haunting memories, taking a deep breath I scrubbed my body and then cleaning myself I wrapped my body with a light blue colored towel and walked towards the large mirror.

Shaking my head at my blank face I looked how lifeless I have been, my chapped lips, the dull eyes, my missing existence.

.فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرً. إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا 

"So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief."

A lone tear escaped my eyes as Wali's voice rang in my ears, the verse he have been reciting daily, when he thinks I am not around. Biting my lips I covered my face with my hands and wiped my tears. Wiping them I turned on the tap and splashed lukewarm water on my face. Taking a deep breath I turned to change into my dress, there was still an hour for Wali's return, so quickly changing I placed the towel on the hangers and stepped out. Getting back inside the bedroom I walked towards the dressing table and opening the first drawer I picked out my sapphire pendant and earring, wearing the set I quickly applied a light pink blusher and a light pink lipstick and finally ending all with a light hint of Wali's favorite perfume. Pushing a smile on my face, I combed my wet hair leaving them open, I left them to dry.

As I got to the door of our bedroom to exit I heard the door below getting open, closing my eyes I took a deep breath and with a smile I walked towards the stairs. It broke my heart as my eyes found him tiredly walking towards the kitchen in search of me, shoulders hunched as he carried his laptop bag in one hand and his coat in another.

"Khadija?" I heard him from the kitchen as I took my last step and walked towards him. Just when I took one more step he came out with a worried frown and his phone in his hand, his tensed gesture clenched my heart but steadying my erratic heartbeat, I smiled.

"Asalam O Alikum," I softly said as I neared him. He looked at me as if trying to read me but I didn't let my smile stumble away, it's time to move on together.

"Walikum as Salam, I was—"

"Don't worry Wali I am right here and where can Khadija go without her Wali?" I bit my lip as I confidently mutter the words which broke a grin on his face, filling my heavy chest with life again.

"Then let me remind you, Wali wouldn't be able to take his next breath without his Khadija," I looked at our intertwined hands as he huskily replied, pushing my hair behind my ear and dropping a teasing kiss just beneath my earlobe.

"Khana ready hay. Go get fresh." I broke the intimating silence and he pushed himself away.

Walking pass me he stopped and then coming back he huskily whispered in my ears, "We'll continue this tonight."

------

It was the rooster tone alarm which woke me up, turning to the opposite side I covered myself completely with the comforter in hope that the alarm would snooze off but after few helpless seconds I groaned and pushed my body up, covering myself with the sheet I picked up my phone and turned it off, placing it aside I rested my back on the head board closing my eyes.

"Khadija?" my eyes snapped open as I felt a cold hand on my bare shoulder and I quickly looked at his face, "It's almost time for fajr," Wali smiled and then dropping a feathery kiss on my forehead he helped me get up, as I walked towards the walk-in closet, Wali walked out of the room.

Cleaning myself up and changing I joined Wali downstairs where he was already prepared for namaz, standing behind him my chest filled with much joy and satisfaction that I have been missing all this while, after Allah I was thankful to Wali for not giving up on me. Once we were done with namaz, Wali and I continued with our recitations and after which he went for his jog. With couple of hours in my hand I opted for sleeping a bit feeling unusually tired.

Setting the alarm again I went to bed and waited to get dozed off.

Walking on the crisp leaves I was making my way towards an undefined destination, with a heavy heart, clammy hands and weak knees I was continuously trying to find a way, a way which can tell me where I was, lost in my thoughts I kept walking when all of a sudden bushes appeared in front of me and I knew I need to pass them but the thorns grown on them were alarming, that's when I heard a faint voice of a child crying, an infant calling for help, the voice tightened my chest and mustering all the power in me I walked towards the bushes and pushing them away and clearing my path I finally reached a place far more better than where I previously was. It was a vast land mildly filled with greenery, contrary to the place before and at a mile distance my eyes spotted a small bassinet. I knew that's where my destination was.

With a slight smile I took my step towards it when a gush of wind passed me as if whispering something and they did.

"Take care of him..."

It almost felt like her...

Gasping I woke up with a knot in my stomach, taking a deep breath I closed my eyes as the dream I had few seconds ago came in front of my eyes again and I opened them, my brain was interpreting the message but my heart wasn't accepting it.

Is my desire so selfish?

I turned my head looking outside the window wall as I brought my knees closer to my chest hugging them, resting my chin on them I continued looking at the early hour of the morning, November was at its end, and the golden leaves were making New York beautiful as we waited for the calm but chilling blanket of snow to cover us.

Flashback.

"Khadija! Khadija wake up!" Rafia was shaking my body with both her hands while screaming my name.

Groaning I threw a cushion at her as I hid my face under the pillow

"Utho na!"

"Rafia let me sleep or else I'll kill you!" I glared at her but ignoring it she excitedly sat back and I knew there is no way I can sleep again. "I always knew I hated you for a reason and this is it!"

Ignoring my statement she whispered, "Do you think the early morning dreams really come true?"

I looked at my cousin who was having a grin on her face with surety that she has lost her mind.

"Your study schedule had drove you nuts!" I all but yelled on her face, "Did you feaking wake me up at seven in the morning asking me about dreams!"

"Tum butao to!" she rolled her eyes and I wanted to strangle her at the moment, I was in Pakistan before I officially go to New Haven for my university, and as much as I loved to be here right now I wanted to vanish in thin air or cry.

"I don't know Rafia! I wish I could tell!" I sarcastically remarked as I rested my beak on the headboard.

"Okay so don't tell anyone but I had a dream that I have got my acceptance in IVS!" She squealed and I shook my head.

"Knock knock!" I tapped her forehead with my knuckle and then smiled, "Sorry o break it to you but you still have to graduate from college to get into that university."

"I know that I will!" with a satisfied smile she fell back on her place. "Good night! oh I mean, Good morning!" she chuckled as she closed her eyes.

And indeed she was right four years later, few months before my graduation I got an excited call one morning from her telling me about her acceptance in IVS.

End.

"Khadija!" I jumped on my place and quickly wiped the pooled tear from my eyes as I turned to face Wali.

"Hey!" I pushed a smile ignoring my tightening chest.

"Hey," he grinned as he moved forward with a tray in his hand and the fresh aroma of the heavenly breakfast almost made me forgot about the dream. Placing the tray in front of me he leaned towards me and kissed the top of my head, "Happy Birthday, Love!" he whispered and my eyes which were closed, opened widely as I realized that it was my birthday, I looked up at him and his face showed me nothing but adoration which made me forget all my fear, that glitter in his eyes was back again, his lips were curled up in a smile and the smell of his aftershave was enough for me to forget my burden.

"Thank you," I smiled as I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked at the tray which had everything according to my liking, "You did all this?"

"Do you doubt your talented husband?"

"Absolutely not!" I grinned as I sipped on my coffee.

"That's like my girl!"

-----

A.O.A

Hola!

Hello!

HOW ARE YOU GUYS??

Missed me? Nay? Okay .-.

First of all this chapter is dedicated to ever so beautiful and talented, hershey-z <3 JazakAllah for the beautiful covers! She is just ahmazing at this! Go check her graphic books out! 

Well now, how was the chapter? So eagerly waiting for your feedback when I have got the news that we have a quiz tomorrow :P

So can anyone of you give me a wild guess with how many chapters are we left?

I'll go now!

Vote, comment and spread!

Till the next time...

TC,

Zehra :)