Sleepless nights and wandering thoughts seems to be my companion now, in the mid of the night when sleep is faraway from my wide awake mind I sit in the balcony under the moonlight where the late night breeze is hitting me and the sleeping city is allowing me to think about anything and everything without getting disturb. Looking at the dark sky adorned with diamond like stars I thought about the dream I had few hours ago. A part of me was anxious while a part of me was at peace maybe because I saw my father, I saw my mother happily enjoying her time with Wali or maybe the first time in past two weeks I haven't woken up with my face covered with sweat beads because of a horrible nightmare which had caused me to weep when no one was there to hold me. Or when he wasn't there to hold me.

Allah gave us a life to live and filled our story with different kind of people and made us a part of their story, some are here to stay with us for a long time while some spend just few minutes and others just few seconds but even then everyone of them give our life different colors some our lighter while some our darker shades, some brighten up our days while other becomes the reason of the dullness but one way or another every single one of them shape us in a person we are now or we will be in future. And in the same manner Wali came into my life a long time ago, seven years ago he helped me become the woman who could stand up for herself, who can confidently fought for herself, I thought his action which weren't exactly his but the people he thought were his friends; broke me and hurt me yet made me stand back on my feet and help me in defending the right not only by my voice but my deeds, and now seven year later the same person entered my life again and this time he changed it again but in a whole lot different way, he made me believe in the bright colors of our life, he made me seek happiness in every little thing, he made me love myself and respect myself and this time he made me much more stronger. This time he led me back home. He brought me close to Allah in ways he doesn't know and that's the most beautiful thing that in past one month I became closer to Allah and whenever I close my eyes now instead of remembering how hard my life is I call him in silence, ask him to ease this hardship I am suffering from.

I remember when I was little my mother and I were used to make breakfast every Sunday morning together, I wouldn't be much of a help but I would still stay in the kitchen watching her making baba's favorite things for breakfast while telling me different stories and at the end of those stories she would explain me the moral hidden behind them. Everyone of those stories were of different prophets facing different hardships and sometimes stories of different sahaba-e-ikram who went through different troubles all their life. One day I asked her why do all the good people had tough time when they were always working for the betterment of others, spreading the message of Allah and never did anything wrong? She smiled and said 'Beti, they were no doubt the best among us yet Allah tested them because Allah wanted other people to know that everyone of us is equal and isn't that a big lesson for us? When people like them can be tested in much harder ways than us so why do we complain rather than being thankful and asking help from Allah? Always remember Khadija, Allah test those whom he knows will succeed!'

I wiped the tear from my cheek and got up when I heard my phone ringing. Walking inside the bedroom I picked up my cellphone which was placed on the coffee table as my eyes read the caller ID my heart sipped a beat, Sabih, Ya Allah!

"Asalam O Alikum," I picked up the call with a drumming heart.

"Bhabi?" His voice was alarming yet excited.

"Sabih khairyat hay?" (Sabih is everything okay?) I asked, nervousness was getting the better of me.

"Bhabi he woke up--"

"Ya Allah! Ya Allah tera shukar! Sabih we are coming! Thank you! thank you so much!" I replied in a haste, a rush of new energy filled my system, my face was already wet with tears of gratitude, I didn't hear what Sabih replied but shutting my phone I picked up my dupatta from the carpet and wrapping it around my head I ran out of the room towards mama's room.

Ya Allah! Without a doubt you are the most merciful.

I was not knocking but banging the door, a wide smile on my lips and all I want to do is get there as quickly as I can, as the door opened mama understand why I was here by just looking at me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Humari duaen qabool hogayi!" (Our prayers have been heard) she was continuously whispering in my ears while I was muttering different dua.

The next one hour was a complete blur, we quickly got ready and headed to the hospital and now we were waiting outside his room along with Sabih while the doctors were inside doing his check up, Alhamdulillah after regaining his consciousness though he is still weak and need good amount of rest but he talked to Sabih for good five minutes before doctor came and it was a good sign, now we are waiting for doctors to come out and let us in.

Mama and I were continuously reciting tasbih while baba and Sabih were discussing his state when the doctor came out, something with their expression told us that the thing they are going to tell us isn't the one we want to listen, but taking a deep breathe along with everyone else I walked towards them. The nurse and doctor were talking in hushed whisper before he turned toward us and masked his expression with a smile.

"Well it's great that he had woke up, it's all your prayers Mrs. Ahmeds ," he looked towards me and mama, "His vitals are working greatly but I'll put this straight as we were worried about paralysis," I heard mama gasp and I shut my eyes controlling my tears, "We have to do an MRI, what he told to us indicates that hopefully it would be temporary, physiotherapy and exercise would help him greatly! But we won't take any chances in couple of hours we'll take him for the MRI, so what all of us can do is pray and hope for the best," He nodded with an encouraging smile and asked baba and Sabih to follow him while mama and I went inside.

He was there resting on the bed but his time his eyes were open, ignoring what the doctor said because a part of me had a firm believe that he is completely fine I walked alongside mama towards him. She stand on his one side while I took another. He looked at us with a smile which warms every part of my heart.

"How are my beautiful ladies?" he asked, his voice hoarser than I could remember yet still had a tenderness which I have been dying for from past weeks.

Mama and I replied simultaneously then he got involved in a slow conversation with her while I just keep listening to the two of them, and my hands were grasping his and unconsciously he was rubbing his thumb on my palm.

It was later that evening that it was finally the two of us, tonight baba agreed to let me spend the night and now after replacing his favorite flowers in the vase beside his bed where he was fast asleep I took my place on the couch relaxing my feet and remembering how everyone was smiling today, after what seems like centuries every single one of us was smiling, a genuine smile not a tired one hiding their defeated emotions, we all did Skype with the entire family and now every one was finally relaxed.

Closing my eyes I rested my head and let the tiredness get over me.

"Khadija?" My eyes jolted open and as soon as my mind registered where I was, I was on my feet.

"I am so sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep," I was rambling and I knew it but looking for my flats I just keep saying whatever was coming in my mind and when I finally looked up I found him looking at me with an amused expression and a smirk.

"You have become more cute in the days I wasn't there," and when I raised my eyebrows, "You still can't raise them properly though!" he chuckled when there was a knock on the door, "and it wasn't me who needed you there is actually someone knocking and as I..."

"I got it!" I quickly replied and rushed towards the door where a nurse was standing with his dinner, thanking for the food and apologizing for being late I closed the door and walked back towards his bed.

"I don't like hospital food."

"You told me that when I tried to make you eat porridge earlier today," I smiled and he shook his head.

"I can't wait to eat biryani, paye and katakut!" He sighed and I laughed, "well what are they giving right now?"

"Vegetable soup with bread and fish." I replied placing them on table and helping him in sitting position bringing the over-bed table I placed the tray on it and sit in front of him.

"So tell me something interesting."

"Like what?" I replied while he ate his food by himself, one thing about my husband which can be frustrating at time like right now is no matter how much of a problem he is having he loves doing everything by himself, and if you try to help and he knows that you are helping he still get annoyed.

"Anything." he said while pushing the soup bowl aside which I moved forward with a glare- another thing sometime he like to act like a kid- he moved it towards himself mumbling under his breath.

"Well I had this dream last night..." I started telling him about what I saw and by the time I ended there was a smile on his face. "why are you smiling?"

"Well from the day we got married basically before even that I always wanted to meet your parents and now that I have even it's your dream I kind of feel happy. I always wanted to thank them for you," he gave me his cheesy smile and I rolled my eyes.

"The amount of corny statements you make, I am sure I can start a popcorn business."

"Touche!" He smirked and I laughed. While he ate I told him about how little Khadija and I bonded over phone calls during past weeks, I told him I resigned from my job, he was shocked but when I told him the reason he was ready to kill Archer.

"Thank you, Khadija!" he whispered once we sat back again after his last check up for the day was done we were beside each other on his bed while I was running my finger through his hair and his eyes were closed.

"You don't have anything to thank me for." I replied back in whisper while kissing his forehead and saw his tensed facial features relaxing. Then opening his eyes he tried to sit so getting up I helped him and when I was sure he is in comfortable position I sat in front of him taking his hands in mine.

"Khadija, I know that they have done the MRI and all of them are pretty confident about it but I don't know how long it would take me to be back on my feet and I am pretty sure that I won't be anything but a burden--"

"Stop Wali!"

"No Khadija lets face it! We don't know anything, do we? Things can get better but things can get worse too! I am sorry that I let you come into this mess and it was the generosity you always had in you that you accepted and I definitely became selfish with my own personal desires and now look we don't know what's going to happen that's why I am doing this," he moved to open the first drawer of the bedside table and took out couple of files from inside, "I want you to sign these papers from me--"

"W...What are these?" I stammered with a drumming heart, my hands were oddly cold and fear was engulfing me.

What was he doing?

What are these paper?

Can that be a divorce paper?

What is it?

All type of unsettling thoughts were taking over my sense.

"Well this is your haq mehr," he said taking out a file, "these are some other documents, basically couple of years ago I bought a place for mom and dad so they could move to New York but they didn't so before surgery I asked Sabih to tell our lawyer to create my will and these are all of those, I have named them to you, and lastly these are the papers in case if anything goes wrong between us I want you to have these shares, Khadija this is not much but I wanted this for you... You deserve all the happiness and I know I won't be able to provide them to you--"

"You think I married you for all of this?" I whispered the tears wetting my cheeks.

"No! Oh Allah! No Khadija this is to protect your future--"

"I don't need your money to protect my future damn it!" I stood up moving away from him, how could he? "Don't you see! I am not here so I could secure myself! I am here because I want you! Don't explain me what were your intentions! How could you? I made you promise to come back to me, all this time whenever I raised my hand for prayers I asked Him to give you back to me and you are handling me these papers? Let me say this one last time Wali Zulfiqar Ahmed and I don't want you to interrupt and think other wise," I took a step towards him, "I love you and I didn't love you for myself but for Him and I have my faith in him so think all you want but I am sure and confident that my Allah would bring you back on your feet and the 'wrong' you are talking about, I don't know about you but I am sure till you are by my side there won't be anything wrong! I don't want you to mention all of this to me ever again." with that I wiped my face and walked away from his bed in need of fresh air.

"Where are you going?" Panic was evident in his voice.

"To get some air and take this time to think, if anything 'wrong' happened, would you be okay with it?" I replied and walked out.

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A.O.A

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AH.

Zehra :)